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Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE!
The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 04-27-2010, 01:51 PM   #1
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Have you ever thought about...

giving up on dating and living alone? do you think it's possible to be happy?

I recently ran into a buddy of mine, who I haven't seen since the end of high school (many years ago) and we started talking about family, friends and basically I just told him I broke up with my girl of 2.5 years. He said you'll find another one soon, I said I think I'll take a break for a while before I go back looking. He goes i've given up on the whole dating thing (mind you he was very popular back in High School) and had no problems finding and turning down girls. I asked him why? he said that he's had his fun, doesn't want a wife because he doesn't want to be tied down. He's 25 and I thought oh, it's probably just a phase, but apparently he's been single 2 years after high school and never bothered looking again. He hangs out with girls no doubt, but he doesn't get involved with the whole girlfriend/boyfriend thing and he said he'll probably never look for a girlfriend again.


What are your thoughts on his situation and would you ever consider it?

**additional information: His family is extremely well-off (Old money) and they own a few successful restaurants in Alberta in which he owns one and makes alot of money annually from them. He told me that since he gave up on the whole dating scene, he wants to go live overseas, Singapore, HK or Korea and open a restaurant there and live by himself.

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Old 04-27-2010, 02:56 PM   #2
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I think it comes down to what makes you happy. I know some people who keep trying to find the "right" one, but I dont know if they know why they are doing that... and I also know some people in their 30s who are content and happy, and have no plan on finding their "soul mate".

for some ppl its so ingrained in them that we need to find a husband/wife and settle down, but I think it should be more about doing what makes you happy.
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:05 PM   #3
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^ +1 on that. Really depends on what makes you happy. I know a few family friends who are in their 40's that are alone and completely content with their life.

In my case it might not mean much since I'm young, but I've never dated, I do want to, but I always fail to see it through. So I too contemplate if I would be happy if this keeps up, and truth is yes i would be, but there will always be somethign missing in my life. I just hope that "lonely" feeling is a phase LOL.
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:07 PM   #4
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The key is not to limit urself into just doing 1 or the other.
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:15 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by genesis195 View Post
^ +1 on that. Really depends on what makes you happy. I know a few family friends who are in their 40's that are alone and completely content with their life.

In my case it might not mean much since I'm young, but I've never dated, I do want to, but I always fail to see it through. So I too contemplate if I would be happy if this keeps up, and truth is yes i would be, but there will always be somethign missing in my life. I just hope that "lonely" feeling is a phase LOL.
Some people feel theyre missing something or not content if they dont get married and have kids, and imo its the old school way of thinking. my old man cant understand why i dont want kids (for now)
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Old 04-28-2010, 03:06 AM   #6
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...he said that he's had his fun, doesn't want a wife because he doesn't want to be tied down...
there's the problem.

your wife, the one, is not supposed to be for "fun". she's not supposed to tie you down.

she's supposed to be your other half. with her, your life should be enhanced in almost every single aspect. like two halves coming together to form... a whole? HAH.

yeah, any woman who ties you down isn't wife material.
maybe one day he'll meet one. maybe overseas lol.

like i said, you do what you wanna do, and when you get a wife or SO or whatever, what you do, should be even better because they will open even more doors for you, and vice versa. you don't have to be into each other's hobbies and interests, there are many other aspects of life one's other half can enhance, or fine tune.

I have a buddy who is similar. he's older than me by a bit, so it means he's a lot older than 99% of you. He's got money from the family too. smart guy.

guy can get pussy left right and center, any girl he wants. but he doesnt wanna get married, or have a gf, or be "tied down" either. nor does he want kids. he thinks all those things are giant responsibilities that he does not want, he doesnt see any of the positive aspects.

he gets with girls, but they are never his gf. he travels a shit load too, never stays in one place for too long, so that kinda takes care of the gf part.

i watch him and he enjoys life, does what he wants, has projects and all this shit, all good, but no woman, well you guys know what i mean. he has many women, but not one woman that he finds can match his intellect. he, like your buddy, only sees women for what they can provide him at the moment. which is usually eye candy, and intimacy, he loves the chase, thats it. beautiful women, and sex. that's about all he sees in women.

I'm still waiting for the day he meets that one person, so i can tell him "told ya so". Looking in the wrong places, and also you gotta change your view of women. most are just for fun, but there's that one out there, who can be fun, but more importantly, can be that nice complementing extra nitrous boost you need in your life. actually, don't bother looking for the right woman, the right woman just comes along. if you have to chase too hard, she's probably not the one.

but to answer your question. I would give up dating and starting living alone, temporarily. not forever. maybe if there was some regimented system that I could go on for a year or two.. or more, where living alone, I could learn or master some skill, yeah sure. but not living alone, living a normal life, forever. that would suck. i mean, unless you were a vampire. but then you get those super cool abilities they have. that's a fair trade off.

needless to say, I don't have any of those abilities, so i'd like to continue having sex thanks and having female companionship.
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Old 04-28-2010, 07:14 AM   #7
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yeah, any woman who ties you down isn't wife material.
+1. My woman doesnt want to be tied down, nor does she want to tie me down either, cuz if she did, it wouldnt work.
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Old 04-28-2010, 08:08 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma View Post
there's the problem.

your wife, the one, is not supposed to be for "fun". she's not supposed to tie you down.

she's supposed to be your other half. with her, your life should be enhanced in almost every single aspect. like two halves coming together to form... a whole? HAH.

yeah, any woman who ties you down isn't wife material.
maybe one day he'll meet one. maybe overseas lol.

like i said, you do what you wanna do, and when you get a wife or SO or whatever, what you do, should be even better because they will open even more doors for you, and vice versa. you don't have to be into each other's hobbies and interests, there are many other aspects of life one's other half can enhance, or fine tune.

I have a buddy who is similar. he's older than me by a bit, so it means he's a lot older than 99% of you. He's got money from the family too. smart guy.

guy can get pussy left right and center, any girl he wants. but he doesnt wanna get married, or have a gf, or be "tied down" either. nor does he want kids. he thinks all those things are giant responsibilities that he does not want, he doesnt see any of the positive aspects.

he gets with girls, but they are never his gf. he travels a shit load too, never stays in one place for too long, so that kinda takes care of the gf part.

i watch him and he enjoys life, does what he wants, has projects and all this shit, all good, but no woman, well you guys know what i mean. he has many women, but not one woman that he finds can match his intellect. he, like your buddy, only sees women for what they can provide him at the moment. which is usually eye candy, and intimacy, he loves the chase, thats it. beautiful women, and sex. that's about all he sees in women.

I'm still waiting for the day he meets that one person, so i can tell him "told ya so". Looking in the wrong places, and also you gotta change your view of women. most are just for fun, but there's that one out there, who can be fun, but more importantly, can be that nice complementing extra nitrous boost you need in your life. actually, don't bother looking for the right woman, the right woman just comes along. if you have to chase too hard, she's probably not the one.

but to answer your question. I would give up dating and starting living alone, temporarily. not forever. maybe if there was some regimented system that I could go on for a year or two.. or more, where living alone, I could learn or master some skill, yeah sure. but not living alone, living a normal life, forever. that would suck. i mean, unless you were a vampire. but then you get those super cool abilities they have. that's a fair trade off.

needless to say, I don't have any of those abilities, so i'd like to continue having sex thanks and having female companionship.
Classic Ulic advice
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Old 04-28-2010, 09:18 AM   #9
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Sure, why not? I think people are just expected to get married and have kids just because it's the "normal" thing to do.
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Old 04-28-2010, 09:44 AM   #10
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if the OP's friend chooses to have a single life forever, he should have hookers & escorts on speed dial
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Old 04-28-2010, 09:50 AM   #11
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if the OP's friend chooses to have a single life forever, he should have hookers & escorts on speed dial
George Costanza: ...Parking at a garage is like going to a prostitute. Why pay for it when you can apply yourself, and then may be you can get it for free.
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Old 04-28-2010, 12:33 PM   #12
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People need love like drugs there days. No one really is able to stand alone anymore these days. Personally I think there is nothing wrong with being alone, you can accomplish all the things you've always wanted to do without being tied down to any commitments.
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Old 04-28-2010, 03:39 PM   #13
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**additional information: His family is extremely well-off (Old money) and they own a few successful restaurants in Alberta in which he owns one and makes alot of money annually from them. He told me that since he gave up on the whole dating scene, he wants to go live overseas, Singapore, HK or Korea and open a restaurant there and live by himself.
Does his dad have a SL600? And they used to own Hong Lok Yuen?! har!
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Old 04-28-2010, 04:27 PM   #14
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i think a lot of people find a partner because that's what society considers "normal". if you don't find someone by a certain age people look at you funny.

i've thought about being single at older age... not because i necessarily choose it but because i don't find the ONE. i might get married but what if he passes away? i'm not going to settle for someone just so i don't have to be by myself.

i think there are some people who are more dependent on other people emotionally and need to have family/friends around them, and won't be as happy if they are single. but i do believe that it is possible to live a fulfilling life being single. you just need to find the things that make you happy and make your life fulfilling.

i don't know about other people, but i think your SO should be your best friend. you should want to share most if not all of your experiences with them (not feel forced to!)... and if you feel this person is "tying you down" then that's not the right person for you.
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Old 04-28-2010, 04:30 PM   #15
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Ulic has enough wisdom to right a book, haha
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Old 04-29-2010, 02:46 PM   #16
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Great to know your friend is rich and all that. Yes, he might be traveling, making a lot of money and heck even get laid with a lot of chicks; bottomline, he's just trying to keep himself occupied by switching environments.

One things stays constant whether you're a rich guy or a poor guy, they have to deal with their own loneliness one way or another. I don't care if you're Bill gates or Usher. Some of my friends are very successful in their career but are lonely as shit.

Having a gf doesn't mean anything. I've been single for a year and as much as it sucks not having someone, i'm waiting until the right person comes.
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