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Go Back   REVscene Automotive Forum > Vancouver LifeStyles (VLS) > Relationship & Gender Discussion

The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 05-26-2010, 06:11 PM   #1
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[Confidential] Bachelorette Party

The following is an Anonymous submission by an Anonymous Revscene member. If the member would like me to reply to any post please feel free to let me know

I'm getting married this summer so my bachelorette party is coming up! However, I am stuck in a situation where I either invite this one gf of mine or not. Basically what happened was my maid of honour was going through the list with me the other night and asked if she should invite "Mary." Mary has been my friend for 5 years but she doesn't get along with my girlfriends. Mary is rather self conscious/shy and I feel like she doesn't try to get to know my friends (despite many trys). I've invited her alogn to other outtings before but she doesn't say a word the whole time and will just sit there and speak only when spoken to.

For me personally, I rather my bachelorette party to be with just my close girlfriends that I've known since the beginning of time..but I am for sure she will take it personal and think I hate her or something and feel offended she wasn't invited.

What should I do? I was thinking maybe she'd perk up cause this is my wedding but we just had my wedding shower last weekend and she was the same!

Am I a bad friend if I tell my maid of honour to not invite her? The trip starts out in Vegas then ends in LA where we're meeting my fiance and his friends. I don't want her to waste her money and put a downer on the trip if she's going to be like this the whole time. She will ask me about my bacherlorette party sooner or later and I will have to tell her how I feel..but how should I tell her without her making me feel bad when she puts it on herself in the first place?

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Old 05-26-2010, 06:30 PM   #2
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if she declined in previous outings, then she would most likely decline to going to your bachelorette party, esp. since it involves a trip going somewhere.
what i'm thinking is that she'd say no b/c "she's short on cash".

just my opinion, but it doesn't hurt to invite her.
if she agrees to go, then yay! booze her up in vegas and she'll be good to go.

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Old 05-27-2010, 05:23 AM   #3
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^ Nothing wrong with inviting her out imo. Not like she's the kind who starts crap with all your gfs. They may not get along, but neither are they on bad terms.

If she's a wallflower for the entire LV trip, that's her problem, not yours. Sure you guys can try to include her but if she doesn't join in on the fun, that's not your fault.

And like buddy said there, if she declines your invite, even better for all.
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Old 05-27-2010, 08:05 AM   #4, where our google ads make absolutely no sense!
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I wouldnt exclude her if shes a really good friend of yours, she could get really hurt if you did.. maybe try to find a way for her to loosen up..

just like ah_cat said, if she's that self-conscious/shy she probably wouldnt go on ths trip...
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Old 05-27-2010, 08:11 AM   #5
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Depends on what is more important to you, your friendship with Mary or the bachorlette party. Well not that dire but you get the gist.
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Old 05-27-2010, 09:18 AM   #6
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Sounds like a great person to be with you guys on your trip. Probably wouldn't get fucked up so she'd be good at keeping you guys safe.

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Old 05-27-2010, 11:13 AM   #7
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LOL scizz.

Don't all group of friends have 1 of these type of personality, the more introvert type. We all get use to it in a way and i'm sure it still be a blast, either way. I've been to my fair share of LV bachelor matter how you try, it can't and won't be a downer. I don't care how shy she is, from experience on the bachelorette trip if she doesn't want to do certain things, just go it's okay and let her do something else if she wants too. It won't be a problem in LV.

Invite, and have a plan on where dinner or whatever is done together. If she doesn't want to attend like clubbing or such, just let her know. Atleast my buddy didn't mind one bit, we understood his personality, so we told him this is our plan, join us for dinner and some other non-clubbing type events and for the clubs, we love you to come, but if you don't no worries, we'll meet you @ 4-5am at the tables.
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Old 05-27-2010, 04:30 PM   #8
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invite her anyways. If she doesn't go then is her descion.

Also maybe try getting her drunk??? Doesn't people tend to be more talkative when they are drunk?

Beside if she is just not talking doens't mean she is not getting along with anyone, she just might be shy that's all.
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Old 06-04-2010, 02:58 PM   #9
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invite her and let her decide
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Old 06-08-2010, 02:20 PM   #10
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does it matter what her friends think? the trip is all about the bride to be and everyone should try hard as fuck to make it EPIC, not sulk and wonder who invited so-and-so.
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Old 06-08-2010, 04:18 PM   #11
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I think you should at least invite her so you don't come out looking like an ass when you talk about the bachelorette party afterwards when you're around her. If she chooses not to come, its her loss.
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Old 06-08-2010, 04:29 PM   #12
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just get her hammered
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Old 06-08-2010, 04:47 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by The_AK View Post
I think you should at least invite her so you don't come out looking like an ass when you talk about the bachelorette party afterwards when you're around her. If she chooses not to come, its her loss.
I think the point is, "what if she chooses to come?" because the dilemma is, the OP is guaranteeing she's a party pooper (of some sort) if she goes.

A lot of the posts here are only addressing half the question, and it's the tremendously easier half at that.
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Old 06-08-2010, 05:54 PM   #14
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party pooper or what not, just invite her regardless! if she decides to go, then they can just start off from there. who knows? maybe she wont' be a party pooper b/c it is Vegas, after all.
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Old 06-10-2010, 12:13 AM   #15 has a homepage?!
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Why put the pressure on yourself. Invite her, and let HER decide if she wants to "step-up", and try bonding with the group for everyones sake, of if she wants to just pass up a few days of fun to avoid any possible tension/humility.

She should know herself best what to do in the situation, better than any judgement you can make from the experiences past.
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Old 06-18-2010, 04:46 PM   #16
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in vegas, grey goose, in LA, chronic.

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Old 06-19-2010, 02:01 PM   #17
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Invite her, have a good time for yourself and let her make the best of it (or not) - you're not her mother.

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