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-   -   Relationship anxiety... (https://www.revscene.net/forums/619153-relationship-anxiety.html)

v.Rossi 07-09-2010 01:15 PM

You know she probably has you hooked now, we can clearly tell you're overthinking it. It's crystal clear, therefore she can probably read yA like a book.

This is going to be a short term relationship if it does work out, i guarantee it.
Posted via RS Mobile

_Hotsauce_ 07-09-2010 01:59 PM

^
It sucks, but yeah probably. It's great because I have all these people telling me just to take it easy, relax and let it flow, and I still do something stupid. It'll be a good learning experience regardless

v.Rossi 07-09-2010 02:25 PM

Everyone's saying ease off a little bit, I say ease the fuck off a lot. You want to know if she's interested?

Call her let it ring twice, if no answer, hang up. If she's interested in you, she'll put the effort to call you back. Don't pick up, call her back three days later set up a date a week in advance. Don't talk to her then, until 2 hours before the date to see if she's still up for it. Any girl with high interest level would never cancel/break a date. Preferably do dinner, instead of lunch.

Set up that date, make her laugh keep it light. I mean FUCKING LIGHT Hotsauce, don't pour your feelings out regardless how fucking bad you want to!

Do not bring flowers, do not bring gifts.

Read her body language this is very very important, does she touch you? Does she carry eye contact or she looking away uninterested while talking to you? Does she laugh at your stupid jokes? Make her do the talking, girls love to talk about themselves. Is she texting on her phone? Is she distracted or looking at the time?

During the date, do not compliment her. There's an exception of one per date, since you fucked it up. You don't get to open your mouth at all. Kills right? Learn from next time then. During the date, do not set up another date while on the date. See where it goes after a few days, is she going to call you after this one date? That means her interest levels high, or are you going to have to do all the calling instead?

Don't talk about sex, past relationships or other girls during the date either. Big fatass turn off to any girl. If you think talking about sex is going to make it more her more at ease and make her comfortable, wrong.

At the end of the night, go in for a kiss. Any girl that has interest in you wouldn't mind, however make sure she's comfortable. If she dodges or brings up an excuse. ie: You're nice and everything, pulls out the LJBF line (let's just be friends). We'll then I just saved you a couple months of chasing.

Drop your pencil and paper and follow this plan. If you don't get a kiss at the end of the night, delete her number from your phone. But like you said in your very first post in this thread, you have no problem meeting girls. So let's see you put that through the test if all else fails.
____

when your with your buddies she's on your mind and you text her, she knows. when she's with her friends, what's her on her mind? you have no fucking idea, and it's driving you crazy to the point where you think you have to see a docter. who has the upperhand here? who's doing the chasing and who's doing the catching?

Call me an asshole for "playing games", but it's human nature to prefer to be chased then to do the chasing. Plus, girls were raised to be conniving, so we're finally getting a chance to catch up to there own game.

you really don't have to follow this plan, i mean gaining another friend is great, I guess......

Three C's to being a man:

1. Confidence 2. Self-(C)ontrol 3. Challenge

dhari 07-09-2010 02:44 PM

^ damn, well done! yeeow

tiger_handheld 07-09-2010 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by _Hotsauce_ (Post 7021772)
Well I had some beers tonight at a poker night with some buddies, ended up msging the girl asking her if she thought I was "too nice", pretty sure I just ruined the relationship as I think she thinks I'm crazy now....My god I hate my self when it comes to relationships

next question to ask her: "Do you think I'm crazy for asking you questions like am i too nice?"

_Hotsauce_ 07-09-2010 05:13 PM

^
lol

joonkol 07-09-2010 10:11 PM

1

palepilsenpin0y 07-10-2010 03:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coupeziRL (Post 7022569)
Everyone's saying ease off a little bit, I say ease the fuck off a lot. You want to know if she's interested?

Call her let it ring twice, if no answer, hang up. If she's interested in you, she'll put the effort to call you back. Don't pick up, call her back three days later set up a date a week in advance. Don't talk to her then, until 2 hours before the date to see if she's still up for it. Any girl with high interest level would never cancel/break a date. Preferably do dinner, instead of lunch.

Set up that date, make her laugh keep it light. I mean FUCKING LIGHT Hotsauce, don't pour your feelings out regardless how fucking bad you want to!

Do not bring flowers, do not bring gifts.

Read her body language this is very very important, does she touch you? Does she carry eye contact or she looking away uninterested while talking to you? Does she laugh at your stupid jokes? Make her do the talking, girls love to talk about themselves. Is she texting on her phone? Is she distracted or looking at the time?

During the date, do not compliment her. There's an exception of one per date, since you fucked it up. You don't get to open your mouth at all. Kills right? Learn from next time then. During the date, do not set up another date while on the date. See where it goes after a few days, is she going to call you after this one date? That means her interest levels high, or are you going to have to do all the calling instead?

Don't talk about sex, past relationships or other girls during the date either. Big fatass turn off to any girl. If you think talking about sex is going to make it more her more at ease and make her comfortable, wrong.

At the end of the night, go in for a kiss. Any girl that has interest in you wouldn't mind, however make sure she's comfortable. If she dodges or brings up an excuse. ie: You're nice and everything, pulls out the LJBF line (let's just be friends). We'll then I just saved you a couple months of chasing.

Drop your pencil and paper and follow this plan. If you don't get a kiss at the end of the night, delete her number from your phone. But like you said in your very first post in this thread, you have no problem meeting girls. So let's see you put that through the test if all else fails.
____

when your with your buddies she's on your mind and you text her, she knows. when she's with her friends, what's her on her mind? you have no fucking idea, and it's driving you crazy to the point where you think you have to see a docter. who has the upperhand here? who's doing the chasing and who's doing the catching?

Call me an asshole for "playing games", but it's human nature to prefer to be chased then to do the chasing. Plus, girls were raised to be conniving, so we're finally getting a chance to catch up to there own game.

you really don't have to follow this plan, i mean gaining another friend is great, I guess......

Three C's to being a man:

1. Confidence 2. Self-(C)ontrol 3. Challenge

^ VERY well-said IMO my friend. Accurate in many many areas.


Here's my own two-cents:


Don't beat yourself up over this too much. Being clingy/a bit insecure with one's self are one of those states a lot of people go through.

This just means you genuinely like this girl, but you are constantly doubting yourself and what she feels. You really need to find out quickly whether or not she's into you. Honestly, asking her just straight up is a decent option. But obviously, do it in a smooth way. Or better yet, do pretty much everything coupeziRL said because he speaks of the truth.

Given your past experience with being cheated on and having divorced parents, you really can't be blamed for being worried about these particular things. After all, shit happens right?

But also, people do have a point from these replies when they say "MAN UP!", because after all, you are a man. Stay strong, and think positively. But at the same time, think realistically as well.

And as for your concern with her friends possibly talking to her about you, funny enough I've gone through that same dilemma... kind of.... My ex-gf's friends used to tell her I wasn't good for her because of bullshit reasons, even though I did absolutely nothing wrong. And that pissed me off. Difference was that I was the one who ended up breaking up with her due to that kind of pressure of behind talked about behind my own back (on top of other reasons too of course). But anyways, try to talk to her about it! The best advice I can give you is focus on communication! That's really one of the key things to having ANY healthy relationship. Talk to her openly and smoothly!

The clinginess of feeling shitty when you don't receive a text or call or whatever from her every single time is quite normal. I often do the same, but I force myself not to be affected by it too much. Just remember, everybody needs space. It's okay to be clingy, just don't overdo it, and DO NOT let it affect you too much. Or better yet, at all. You can be protective over someone, but never allow yourself to be insecure. (this is more advice for being in a relationship btw)

Hope that helps. Worse comes to worse, Halo:Reach is coming out soon (haha your avatar tells me you're a halo player) so just rejoice and let that drown whatever sorrow comes your way when the game gets released :D


Take it easy man. Cheers!


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