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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 09-23-2010, 09:06 PM   #1
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grad photos

I know this isn't about relationships,but I didn't know where else to put this:


This is my senior year at highschool , last year. We're taking our Grad photos soon, where everyone dresses up formal and get a group of friends and pose in front of the camera. The group of friends I'm going with - we've been friends for years. We've shared lots of experiences and moments together, thru the great times, and the shit times.

However, today i just found out there is this random guy who's going to be joining us. Everyone is already unsure why he's going with us - we don't really know him. He's sort of an outcast in my grade ;p , he goes from group to group because no one really wants him;( . In 9th, he started hanging with this group, and since they never invited him to anything, he went and sort of joined ours.. we didn't really know him so we didn't invite him to anything either .. so then he left again and i dont know who he hangs out with now - and now, two years later, he's wanting to take photos with us

We discussed it, and i volunteered to get my hands dirty
I told him we didn't want him in the photo. I tried to put it as soft and less hurtful as I could. Now, he is talking to each and every one of us - and most of my friends are pretending they didn't even know about it so they are off the hook.

I feel like shit, and regret doing that now - i see him tomorrow in class, what do i do? i feel guilty because he doesn't have any other group of friends to take pictures with, but at the same time I want the photo to be exclusive - we don't even know him, he just asked one of us if he could be in the photo, and that guy is the kind of guy who just can't say No.

Now, everything is pinned on me since I volunteered to "kick him off" fml
i know i did something wrong - but I can't take it back , what should i do if he comes talk to me about it in school

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Old 09-23-2010, 09:30 PM   #2
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If you guys really don't know the guy and don't feel comfortable with it, tell him that you planned to have this picture taken with so and so a while ago (which you guys probably did) and that unfortunately that's what you all agreed on.

BUT If you deny him to be in the pic, offer something else... like next time you could hangout with us next week and chill. Most likely this guy just wants to feel accepted somewhere, and you're doing that by offering an alternative. What you probably don't want to do is to to just say no and burn your bridges with him. You're still relatively young- its a stretch but one day this guy could be interviewing you for a job, or you never know when he could be of help.
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Old 09-23-2010, 09:40 PM   #3
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grow some balls
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Old 09-23-2010, 10:23 PM   #4
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Tell him there was a reason they invented photoshop.
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Old 09-23-2010, 10:37 PM   #5
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Honestly, don't even be bothered by him being in the group photo because chances are..once you guys graduated you will be lucky to even stay in touch with half of your friends (sorry if that sounded harsh). Years from now you're going to look back on this group photo and realize that this picture wasn't as big of a deal you are making it out to be now.

Yes, you made your bed but don't feel bad. You took the courage/balls to tell him how you and your friends felt. DOn't feel bad that you "hurt" his feelings or whatever because there really is nothing to feel bad about. Also, if anything....why did all your friends leave you hanging like that?
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Old 09-23-2010, 10:49 PM   #6
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Who gives a shit, it's just HS lol.
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Old 09-23-2010, 11:27 PM   #7
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Just tell him no, he's not part of ur group of friends so there shouldn't be a problem. If some random guy wanted to be in our party bus my friends would of said no bc we don't even know them.
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Old 09-23-2010, 11:29 PM   #8
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And they say girls in highschool are drama queens. How did this dude get invited into your photo if everyone is already unsure why he's going with you and you don't really know him? Someone had to have invited him.

If you guys don't know him and he's in your picture, take miss_crayon's advice. After highschool people who you think are going to stick around forever you may not even see ever again. It's all part of growing up. Chances are after you get your yearbook signed by everyone and move on to the next phase of life, it'll collect dust until your kids find it.
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Old 09-24-2010, 12:15 AM   #9
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It's just a damn picture. Tell the photographer to take a group picture with this "random guy" in it and another one without him. Just buy the one that's without him in it, if it bothers you that much.
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Old 09-24-2010, 01:06 AM   #10
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Allow him in the photo, and then beat him down really bad afterwards, and take another picture. Then you can show your kids the picture when you're older and explain the importance of real friendship
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Old 09-24-2010, 01:32 AM   #11
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let this grad photo be another part of the "bad times"
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Old 09-24-2010, 02:17 AM   #12
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we don't even know him, he just asked one of us if he could be in the photo, and that guy is the kind of guy who just can't say No.
you need to talk with the person who said yes to him in the first place. this guy is the one who needs to be the one to talk to the guy. it is he who needs to grow a pair and tell him whats up. you do not need to get your hands dirty for this because it was not your doing.
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Old 09-24-2010, 03:04 AM   #13
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you need to talk to your buddies first and come to a conclusion
decide as a group, and be firm with your decision
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Old 09-24-2010, 04:04 AM   #14
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take the pic, but have him on the side and when you get your picture, cut him out. problem solved
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Old 09-24-2010, 11:29 AM   #15
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Photoshop
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Old 09-24-2010, 04:01 PM   #16
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lol, it can be worse is when u take grad pic with ur hs sweetheart posing in all lovey dovey poses. Then u guys break up and ur new bf find these pictures and get all upset. hahah
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Old 09-25-2010, 12:36 AM   #17
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Honestly, don't even be bothered by him being in the group photo because chances are..once you guys graduated you will be lucky to even stay in touch with half of your friends (sorry if that sounded harsh). Years from now you're going to look back on this group photo and realize that this picture wasn't as big of a deal you are making it out to be now.
QFT. It's high school. Don't worry about it. If you feel that shitty, then just let this guy know how this group arrangement has been made long ago and your group wants the picture to be limited to a tiny number of people. Most people understand.
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Old 09-25-2010, 12:43 AM   #18
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or, you could just schedule like 2 separate photoshoots...one with him and one without him.


problem solved.
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Old 10-04-2010, 04:21 PM   #19
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or, you could just schedule like 2 separate photoshoots...one with him and one without him.


problem solved.
That's the most pussy ass way out and it's not even an out since they'd have to go through so much trouble to get the pics they really want.

Tell him straight up, "We all talked about it and just want it to be our group, the other guys are just being nice." Then ask him, "Why are you going around asking everyone? Don't you think that's kind of....weird?"

If he ends up just showing up, tell the photographer. Hopefully he goes, " OK Johnny, a little to the left.....little more......bit mooore ........... mooooooooooooooorrre. OK CHEESE."
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Old 10-04-2010, 04:55 PM   #20
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Is the guy someone who one or more people despise greatly? If so, just explain to him this group of friends been together since grade 9 and blah blah

If he is just a random guy who people dont HATE hate, just let him join. Like MsCrayon mentioned, most people dont care about grad photos after a year or 2. But to make an outcast feel welcomed, he will feel grateful and remember for years to come. And if he ever becomes upper management and you need favors....
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Old 10-04-2010, 05:33 PM   #21
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please close this topic
this was like a week ago, and it's all good now - he's still out of the picture , but he's found another group to go with i think
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Old 10-04-2010, 06:41 PM   #22
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^ you better not regret it, he could benefit you in the future. Highly unlikely but you never know!
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Old 10-04-2010, 06:43 PM   #23
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please close this topic
this was like a week ago, and it's all good now - he's still out of the picture , but he's found another group to go with i think
jerk. kid just wanted a photo with some "friends" so he could show his parents that he is popular and well liked at school. if he kills himself in the future we'll know why..
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Old 10-04-2010, 07:39 PM   #24
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If this guy becomes rich one day, FML! Could have been good friends and helped you along the way haha
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Old 10-04-2010, 08:09 PM   #25
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You could save a guy from commiting suicide.
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