Advice for my current life sitaution/employment seeking

[DanHibiki]

Hey guys I dunno if it belongs here or some other sub-section as my rant has to do a lot with my life and not necessarily employment but since I am currently seeking employment I decided to post here.

I'll try to keep the background of my life short.

I'm 26 years old.

3 years ago in 2007, I suffered a back injury and before it fully healed I went ahead and played sports, sex with gf, etc which made it worse. I have tried many things (phyiotherapy, sports med. doctor, naturalpath, prolotherapy, manual therapy, chiropractics, many different acupuncture and variations of acupuncture) and the only thing I believe could help is physiotherapy Despite no good end-results in the last 3 years I am still going to physiotherapy every week.

It's been a tough hill to climb. Every time I get a tiny bit better through my rehab, the tiniest thing would offset. ie., walking/standing for too long...and by too long I mean only like 30minutes or something.

There have been times where I was seeing improvement for a month or so but only to have it crash back down and start over.

Overall it is worse than when I first injured it.

Forget not being able to run, play hockey, dance, have sex, I'm afraid to even walk or stand for more than 10min or lift something that isn't even THAT heavy.

It's a life changer for sure. I basically said to myself "I'm gonna put my life on hold until I fix it." Because of that, I have not gotten a job in these 3 years as I had kept hoping I would get better first or at least enough so that I'm not always afraid to do something to hurt my back when going outside.

I graduated from SFU in September of 2007 in Economics and from BCIT in December of 2009 in Financial Management.

Going to school at BCIT with my back problems was tough as sometimes the pain and frustration would distract me a lot. I never brought textbooks to school to lessen my load and when we had tax exams (which require you to bring the fat ass tax act), I always had to drive to school then have a friend carry it for me.

Since graduating from BCIT a year ago, I haven't been working nor doing anymore schooling. Literally a bum.

But now I feel I can't wait any longer as I'm fucking 26 already and I am coming more in terms with the fact I may have to live with this (Damn that hurts just saying that).

My background in employment isn't a significant one. I have had like 4 jobs in the past but I never held one long enough to feel like I gotten the total hang of the daily tasks. I would always go to work nervous because I haven't caught on with everything and afraid I'd be slow at learning it and will always have to bug others for help. (Ya, there are some things in my life that I am very pessimistic about).

I mean I'm a smart guy and know I can pick up on just about anything but I'm for some reason intimidated when it comes to employment.

Actually when I first learned how to drive I was convinced that I wouldn't be able to do it and if I actually DID pass the N driving exam, I would be a terrible driver. This is of course not true.

Also, I'm afraid of interviews.

ALSO, I have forgotten everything I learned at BCIT .

Now, taking my pessimistic side + my unimpressive work history + my forgotten school knowledge + my intimidation of interviews and being in new to a job + my back injury that caused me to have not worked in 3 years and nothing at all in 1 year that I am sure they would ask about...how am I gonna get a job????

I'm looking to get any accounting job there is as I just need to finally get started with working life.

I dunno what exactly I'm looking for with this rant here. I guess I'm just really low on confidence and seeking some emotional support and advice.

Sorry, this was longer than I expected.

[haymura]

let me boost your self-esteem then my friend.

steven hawking was paralyzed from ground up but what did he become? a great mutha effin scientist, philosopher, astronomer, etc!

Chris Gardner (from the movie pursuit of happyness) had nothing! no income, a child to support, no home, no food but he made one of the biggest stock broker firms in US.

Terry Fox.... need i say more...

my advice for you is to rest that injury of yours while getting treatments. you mentioned that before it could heal you started playing sports and physically demanding activities again. Not trying to lecture you or anything but it is your own fault that your back is in its worth state. take a month or two to actually rest and let it heal while you are trying to look for a job. With my experience, its not easy finding a job now so it might take awhile anyways to find one so its more of a win-win situation for you as time is on your side. Dont get discouraged just because you think everything seems hopeless. Remember, "only WE limit ourselves to what we can do" you built the wall up that prevents you from climbing to the other side but what you built, you can also destroy.

keep your head up, focus on what is in front of you and not what is behind you (no pun unintended). best of luck to you!

[vafanculo]

I'm not gonna comment on your physical injuries because I haven't been in your shoes, and I imagine from reading your post that you went through alot with your backpain. You can use determination as one of your 'skills' or 'assets' in an interview.

Job wise...

Don't sweat it. I know people who haven't worked 4 jobs their whole lives. And unless it's a trade, no one remembers anything they learn in school. School is basically a good way to show employers you are knowledgable on the subject, and had the drive to finish. The real things you will carry away with you the rest of your life will be picked up with work experience.

Land an entry level job in accounting, and start working. Before you know it, your previous 4 jobs will be irrelevant (I think so, don't think you've mentioned what they were), and you can use the current job to move on up the ladder.

Lastly, as mentioned, the job market is hard right now, took me 4 months to find a job. I got discouraged, felt like crap, but you gotta remember for every position you are applying for, 500 other people are aswell. Keep at it and don't take it personal.
Posted via RS Mobile

[kknater]

Don't be discouraged by something like "the economy". People are always moving in and out of jobs so theres room for you to slip in.

I would say if you arn't confident with interview skills. Practise them! Find a friend and role play. Record yourself so you can see where you can improve.

Second, improve on your resume and cover letter skills. Did you ever take co-op in SFU? Its okay if you didn't. PM me and I'll send you some resources.

Lastly, don't consider your situation a disadvantage. Its a great story you can put on your cover letter or share with your employer. "even thru great hardships, I am able to work thru them" One of the best pieces of advice I ever got from co-op office was to turn every weakness your strength.

Good Luck!

[Neoxphuse]

Physiotherapy is your best bet for healing. Avoid all the massaging/chiropracter stuff. It's all temporary, and chiropracters can be worse in some circumstances.

I would recommend you change where you are doing your physio if you haven't done so and try another place. A mix of physio exercise/massage/cold and hot therapy, etc. will help. In the long run, it takes a very long time, but it's well worth it.

[Conan O'Brien Sex Video]

my only suggestion to you is that if you start feeling a little bit better, don't DO more yet. with a lot of injuries, people think "i feel better" and start going back to their regular routine when the injury isn't exactly healed... it just doesn't hurt.

best of luck to you and keep on trying

[Szeto]

sorry to hear what you have been through...

have you considered becoming a financial planner? you probably need to take couple courses to get your certificate but that's one of the options that you might want to look into.

[!SG]

also consider seeing a career councillor.

you will most likely take a bunch of questionaires, just to see where you stand and where u sit when it comes to the right job for you.

as for your back, possibly look at different doctors in the same profession, one physiotherapist might not be as affective as another.

[Mr.HappySilp]

and this tread might help too
http://www.revscene.net/forums/secre...s-t630908.html
Don't give up hope and believe in yourself!

[MindBomber]

You've been down a tough road man, I've been in physio for years myself and haven't been able to work for a year as I recover from surgery after surgery. My injuries aren't to the extent of yours, but I'm usually unable to walk or stand for more than fifteen minutes so I certainly understand what your going through. Often a trip to physio is the highlight of my week, despite the pain, being in such caring hands can be a tremendous relief.

The times I feel the worst about my situation are when I worry about not being able to pull my life out of what I perceive as a downturn. Sometimes I'm afraid of how difficult it will be for me to find work again because of my limitations, especially considering how long I've been out of the workforce for. Other times I feel down, because I'm not able to go out and have fun with my friends like I used to, but you just need to pull yourself up and never let it get you down.

I always remind myself that my pain can't conquer me, that even if my body isn't what it used to be my brain is still fine. Try taking a class at school to get yourself back into thinking mode, it would look great on a resume and I'm sure you would enjoy it.

Good luck to you, don't give up and find confidence in yourself!

[DanHibiki]

Originally Posted by haymura

let me boost your self-esteem then my friend.

steven hawking was paralyzed from ground up but what did he become? a great mutha effin scientist, philosopher, astronomer, etc!

Chris Gardner (from the movie pursuit of happyness) had nothing! no income, a child to support, no home, no food but he made one of the biggest stock broker firms in US.

Terry Fox.... need i say more...

my advice for you is to rest that injury of yours while getting treatments. you mentioned that before it could heal you started playing sports and physically demanding activities again. Not trying to lecture you or anything but it is your own fault that your back is in its worth state. take a month or two to actually rest and let it heal while you are trying to look for a job. With my experience, its not easy finding a job now so it might take awhile anyways to find one so its more of a win-win situation for you as time is on your side. Dont get discouraged just because you think everything seems hopeless. Remember, "only WE limit ourselves to what we can do" you built the wall up that prevents you from climbing to the other side but what you built, you can also destroy.

keep your head up, focus on what is in front of you and not what is behind you (no pun unintended). best of luck to you!

The thing is, injuries (especially ones as bad as mine) can't be pushed beyond it's limits. I know that in sports, if your hurt, keep pushing though it and play, if you're tired, push through it and keep studying, etc. But if you push an injury you'll just end up making it worse and end up exactly where I am. Often when doing my rehab exercises at physio, I'm always afraid of doing TOO MUCH because the thing about my body is that I always feel like I can keep going with the exercises. It never gives me an indication when I've reached the limits. It's never until the next morning that I feel the pain.

So it's a tough situation having to balance my mind and body. I live in constant awareness and paranoia about my body. Even when drunk.

Hell even in my dreams my back is bad. I had a dream of being at a hockey rink but I don't step on the ice to play because of my bad back.

Originally Posted by vafanculo

I'm not gonna comment on your physical injuries because I haven't been in your shoes, and I imagine from reading your post that you went through alot with your backpain. You can use determination as one of your 'skills' or 'assets' in an interview.

Job wise...

Don't sweat it. I know people who haven't worked 4 jobs their whole lives. And unless it's a trade, no one remembers anything they learn in school. School is basically a good way to show employers you are knowledgable on the subject, and had the drive to finish. The real things you will carry away with you the rest of your life will be picked up with work experience.

Land an entry level job in accounting, and start working. Before you know it, your previous 4 jobs will be irrelevant (I think so, don't think you've mentioned what they were), and you can use the current job to move on up the ladder.

Lastly, as mentioned, the job market is hard right now, took me 4 months to find a job. I got discouraged, felt like crap, but you gotta remember for every position you are applying for, 500 other people are aswell. Keep at it and don't take it personal.
Posted via RS Mobile

The funny thing is, my previous 4 jobs ARE irrelevant! I don't see them as anything good that I could bring forward to accounting...Maybe when I was an English teacher for international students, that's the only thing I think could look good on a resume.

Also, one of my major concerns is references. I either didn't work a job long enough to build a very lasting relationship with my employers or they got fired/quit. So do you have any advice on what to do about this part of the job hunt?

You're right about using my back pain as a strength during an interview. I was actually hoping I'd get better and use the entire story of how I never gave up and eventually recovered but looks like I won't be able to.

Originally Posted by kknater

Don't be discouraged by something like "the economy". People are always moving in and out of jobs so theres room for you to slip in.

I would say if you arn't confident with interview skills. Practise them! Find a friend and role play. Record yourself so you can see where you can improve.

Second, improve on your resume and cover letter skills. Did you ever take co-op in SFU? Its okay if you didn't. PM me and I'll send you some resources.

Lastly, don't consider your situation a disadvantage. Its a great story you can put on your cover letter or share with your employer. "even thru great hardships, I am able to work thru them" One of the best pieces of advice I ever got from co-op office was to turn every weakness your strength.

Good Luck!

Thanks for the tips. No I didn't do co-op in SFU which I regret. I'll for sure PM for those resources thanks!

And like I mentioned to the previous poster, I did plan on using my back problems as a strength but had hoped it would have heeled before I did.

Originally Posted by Neoxphuse

Physiotherapy is your best bet for healing. Avoid all the massaging/chiropracter stuff. It's all temporary, and chiropracters can be worse in some circumstances.

I would recommend you change where you are doing your physio if you haven't done so and try another place. A mix of physio exercise/massage/cold and hot therapy, etc. will help. In the long run, it takes a very long time, but it's well worth it.

Finding a good physio is hard. I've been to 3 in my life and found 2 to be reliable, despite the lack of results I do believe they are 2 of the best that you can find here in Vancouver. I was recommended to a world-renowned physiotherapist that resides in Abbotsford but I never gotten around to seeing him as I have given my faith in my current physio. Shit I hope I can still find his contact somewhere.

I agree with you, I have the most faith in physiotherapy than anything else. Gotta rehab and strengthen that core.

My condition does require some chiropractics when it's really bad.

Originally Posted by Conan O'Brien Sex Video

my only suggestion to you is that if you start feeling a little bit better, don't DO more yet. with a lot of injuries, people think "i feel better" and start going back to their regular routine when the injury isn't exactly healed... it just doesn't hurt.

best of luck to you and keep on trying

Ya that's how I got to where I am now...

Originally Posted by Szeto

sorry to hear what you have been through...

have you considered becoming a financial planner? you probably need to take couple courses to get your certificate but that's one of the options that you might want to look into.

I went to BCIT and did Financial Management but went the accounting route rather than the finance route. I lack confidence in my work-related interactive skills.

Originally Posted by !SG

also consider seeing a career councillor.

you will most likely take a bunch of questionaires, just to see where you stand and where u sit when it comes to the right job for you.

as for your back, possibly look at different doctors in the same profession, one physiotherapist might not be as affective as another.

Ya I've already seen soooooooooooo many doctors/physicians. It's frustrating having to explain the same long ass story over and over again.

There is one more physiotherapist I was recommended to that I may try sometime in the near future but he's allllll the way in Abbotsford.

Originally Posted by Mr.HappySilp

and this tread might help too
http://www.revscene.net/forums/secre...s-t630908.html
Don't give up hope and believe in yourself!

Thanks for the PM and video dude!

Originally Posted by MindBomber

You've been down a tough road man, I've been in physio for years myself and haven't been able to work for a year as I recover from surgery after surgery. My injuries aren't to the extent of yours, but I'm usually unable to walk or stand for more than fifteen minutes so I certainly understand what your going through. Often a trip to physio is the highlight of my week, despite the pain, being in such caring hands can be a tremendous relief.

The times I feel the worst about my situation are when I worry about not being able to pull my life out of what I perceive as a downturn. Sometimes I'm afraid of how difficult it will be for me to find work again because of my limitations, especially considering how long I've been out of the workforce for. Other times I feel down, because I'm not able to go out and have fun with my friends like I used to, but you just need to pull yourself up and never let it get you down.

I always remind myself that my pain can't conquer me, that even if my body isn't what it used to be my brain is still fine. Try taking a class at school to get yourself back into thinking mode, it would look great on a resume and I'm sure you would enjoy it.

Good luck to you, don't give up and find confidence in yourself!

Sorry to hear that you are suffering too dude. I never like to hear that. Whenever someone tells me they are injured I always yell at them to take good care of it before doing anything. I just say "do you want to end up like me?" and that usually works haha.

May I ask what part of your body you got surgery on?

When you say you can't stand/walk for more than 15min. What happens exacty? Do you just feel pain or discomfort at that very moment? Does it linger on and feel worse the next day and takes a few days for it to completely dissipate?

Sorry, I ask because for me, I usually don't feel any pain or anything until maybe an hour later where the pain would slowly start to sink in and feel worse and worse. Then the next day it'd feel like crap and take like 3 days until it's back to neutral. This makes doing my rehabbing exercises difficult as I never know what my limits are since I don't feel any pain or anything right away. It's frustrating.

Where do you go for physio? I always wonder if people go to the same one as me since this guy has like a billion patients. At any given point during the day, he has like 10-15 patients there.

Reading your post sounds a lot like me. I always have to turn down my friends when they go out to do certain things. The only things I agree to doing is eating somewhere or watching a movie or anything where we just sit. No clubs, no sports, no trips to the States, no shopping.

Whenever I need to buy something at the grocery store or something, I'm always dreading it because you never know how long you'll have to stand/walk for. Gotta spend time find the stuff you need and then pray the lineups aren't long or you're screwed.

My friend got free tix to the Canucks game from work this Wednesday and I was close to turning him down. Skytrains are no longer good for me as they are packed like hell and I most likely won't get a seat. And the walk and line up at the gate might be just long enough to make it bad on my back.

I'm planning on driving and paying whatever ridiculous parking fee there is so I can limit my walking distance.

Does anyone know where to park near Rogers Arena? I assume it's that big parking lot right outside it. Does anyone know what time the parking lot gets packed and how much it is?



These are the battles I face whenever I go out. Something as simple as going to a Canucks games requires so much thought and planning. And often, things don't go according to plan and I somehow end up hurting my back still. Blah.

Thank you all for your comments they are very helpful. I felt apprehensive about posting here on RS at first as we all know how things are here haha. But I am grateful that you were all helpful and kind about it as it is a very sensitive issue for me. I'll do my best to keep positive and become a contributing factor to society.

If anyone has anymore tips on work-related stuff please do feel free to leave them as I am sad to say, interviews, resumes/cover letters, anything related to the workforce makes me nervous and drops my confidence level way down.

So any tip at all, no matter how small or odd or SPECIFIC it is, would go a long way. Especially for interviews haha. Ok I'm done.

[Purely]

How come you took BCIT's Financial Management after SFU econ?

[RunningFree]

Your pessimism is a very large part of whats holding you back right now... you're going to have to grow a pair and get over it. In fact, I was reading this study about talking about your goals and dreams to people, and what I learned was that you shouldn't say anything to anyone about it, unless you're looking specific feedback or an opinion. The reasoning was this: The more you talk about it and hear, "Hey that's a great idea!" or "I wish I had thought of that idea" and such similar comments; you develop a false sense of accomplishment and soon start to go after that and think that it's enough to receive recognition for something without doing anything towards your goal.

How this applies to you is this: Don't look here for emotional support... the general consensus is that your situation sucks and people are offering ideas of how to get passed what you're going through. But ultimately you're the one that's going to decide your own fate. How much your physical state limits you is up to you... as it's only a certain percentage of your problem... the rest is your mental state. You have to believe that you can accomplish things and if you think you can't, figure out why and how you can overcome your situation. That's what separates the successful and the rest of the masses. Fully understand your situation and look at your life from an outside point of view... it may give you some ideas on your next steps.

Good luck!

[sadboy]

You have the education and are still fairly young.
Why not go the broker route and build a book?
Grind it out, I've seen plenty of people do this.
Alot of firms have investment advisor / broker training programs

[alex.w *//]

work at home?

[iwantaskyline]

Have you ever tried pain killers? I mean if you've been in years a years of rehab its a option right.

[ek1]

well op i can definately relate, i had a leg injury and had surgery, and just like you i tried several therapies and sorta put life on hold until it wud get better to get back into action in life. unfortunately my hopes didnt come true, time period for rehab was not what i expected, so i too had to just accept it and it sucks but now i jus go to school at BCIT and also deal with this problem of mine. its definately one of the biggest challenges in my life

but hey man for emotional support u can shoot me a pm i understand what your going through with the life changing injury

[bakasam]

Maybe you can consider taking a self employed route?

Take a CGA exam
-Start up your own accounting sorta office and just help others file their taxes and other general accounting needs (Dad has a friend who does this and hes been relatively successful)
-Join as an agent part of an already existing accounting firm that does that sorta thing (Not sure if it works the same as real estate but its sorta like how a Realtor is part of a realty company)

That way you don't necessarily have to go and apply or interview for a job. But with self-employment you make money based on how hard your willing to work along with the networking you have. But since you do have some medical related problems doing something like this allows you to work at home or at an office and at your own pace rather than not working at all

[DanHibiki]

Hey guys, So I'm writing up a cover letter now but I'm not sure what the best way to go about it is.

I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions?


Also do you think I should mention my back injury in the cover letter/interview at all?

I know I could prob twist it to use it to my advantage somehow but the general consensus from my friends is to not mention it at all.

There's also the problem of why I had that one year gap of unemployment.

Honestly though, I would feel much more comfortable being up front about it if I could.


Thanks in advance!

[RunningFree]

I wouldn't mention it at all. The first step is to get yourself into the door. If they like you enough, they might be more inclined to work around your injury.

I hate to say it, if you mention the injury and they hint any bit of a sob story behind it, they'd probably just toss the resume aside. That's what I'd do in their shoes.

When they ask about the year off, tell them about the injury, but you always want to spin it like you're trying to overcome it and you're a positive person... proves you've got character.

[Nismo200SX]

I'm in a similar situation myself. Where I was injured in a low velocity car accident that managed to pinch a disc in my lower back. I was off work for about 1.5yrs. I went back for 6 weeks. But because I couldn't handle the sitting and taking calls for tech support my employment was terminated. Couldn't get EI because I didn't have enough hours worked because I was injured 3 months into the job. Can't really find work now because standing for more than an hour causes pain. sitting causes pain. So I made my own job and started my photography business. Still looking for a part time job because my business isn't 1/4 of what I used to make in Tech Support. But its tough with the pain.

Taking pain killers has really ruined my health too. Because in addition to the pain killers I now need to take anti-acid meds too.

But I wouldn't have come this far without Spinal Decompression which alleviated at least 50% of the pain and allowed me to walk at a normal pace. I used to barely walk and would push my son in the stroller as support to walk around.

[GLOW]

i never had your injuries so I cant comment but for job/career, here's my 2 cents:

Interviews:
they make me nervous too, but try to go in with a bit of confidence, I think employers can pick up on that and like it. after i was laid off from my 1st engineering job, job searching/interviews went easier for me b/c i felt more confident b/c i had actual experience and i actually felt like an engineer, and I had a few interviewers tell me that i was really well spoken (probably b/c i was more confident)

the fact that you have relevant jobs in the past could set you apart from others who dont have that. if you focus on your strengths and how you can help the employer i think that should help with your confidence in interviews.

Job:
look at all of your options and don't give up. just keep focused and keep applying. you might want to speak to headhunters/recruiters just to get yourself back in the workforce. my background is not in finance but back when i was looking for work in engineering, recruiters would suggest trying different things, such as trying to pick up short term contracts just to get diff work experience under your belt. it's less stable but if you don't have kids, a mortgage, etc, might as well take advantage of the freedom and try something like that.

I'm thinking since you're in finance you'll be sitting at a desk most of the time and if sitting doesn't cause you pain, i'm thinking your injuries won't affect your work?

I would try to stay more positive if you can. in the end i figure if you dont do anything, you know you're gonna be a bum, but if you keep at it and work hard at finding a job, then there's a chance you'll get the job you want and move on with your life. with that mentality hopefully you'll get to do what you want to do and get your life back on track.

Oh, i wouldnt bother mentioning any health issues in a cover letter or anything. if they ask during an interview then you can be up front about it but dont go in to nitty gritty details. you can say health related issues or something. that's sorta like the time my friend was telling me they interviewed a guy and out of the blue the guy was like "oh btw i'm gay". like wtf does that have to do with a job??? it's like he was saying that so you have to hire him or else it's like discrimination based on sexual orientation. i dont think you wanna give the false impression that you are playing those type of games.

gl to you

[alpinestars]

the best place to start building that confidence up again is to apply for a job which you're over-qualified for. even if it's $10/hr managing a company's petty cash fund, it's a solid start to get you back in the accounting career direction.

[rsx]

Had a slipped disc for half a year before it was treated by a chiro. It was pinching or doing something to my sciatic nerve. It was painful and definitely handicapped me. I can't even imagine how your dealing with the pain.

Have you seen a neurologist?

[DanHibiki]

HELP!

Sorry I haven't been on this thread for awhile.

Here's my situation now.

This week has been a good week in terms of my back. I have avoided going out as much I could and I haven't been drinking because it seems every time I go out drinking, somehow my back would hurt after.

Now after applying everywhere I FINALLY got a call back for an interview this Thursday and I'm nervous as fuck.

The same questions from my post exist. Do I bring up my back problem? Why was I not working or doing school for an entire year?

What should I do about references? I only got like 1