what should i do..?
 

so at the end of last spring semester i met this girl where i work. i only worked part time because of school (university) so i only saw her once a week.. we talked and said hi every once and a while. a few weeks later she asked for my email i think.. i dont remember what happened after that but i never ended up giving out my email she ended up giving me her email and number on a piece of paper.

then summer semester started, it turns out we were both taking summer classes at the same school. i think i studied with her like twice maybe and grabbed lunch here and there. didnt really think much of it as i was busy with my classes. after our finals were done she asked me if i wanted to go do the grouse grind. i was like sure, bring your friends too. she didnt end up bringing any friends so we ended up doing it alone together. we ended up spending like the whole day together. we had lunch, watched a movie, and before heading home shared a shaved ice. didnt really think much of this day cuz i didnt really "like" her at the time..

then fall semester started again and i went back into study mode. i dont remember how or when but i was starting to fall for her.. i was thinking about her more and even sending those corny texts BF send about being careful and be safe and shit. she would also do the same telling not to stay up at school too late and get home safe.. some days when it was really rainy and windy she would even offer to drive me home. i would never accept because my bus runs really frequently and it takes me straight home. also because it was out of her way to drive me.

throughout the semester we texted each other back and forth.. sometimes periods where theres lots of texts and sometimes i would message and i would get a response.. i wouldnt text again for a few days after that cuz i thought maybe she was busy with school so id respect that and leave her alone..

thanks for reading i know its long

one day she wanted some new music so i lent her my ipod that i never listen to. throughout the semester we would still study together together but somehow the atmosphere didnt seem as open as before.

anyways fast forward to like recently (maybe like 2 weeks).. i texted her like a week or 2 before my finals and i didnt get a response for like 2 weeks. it felt kind of weird cuz i never been ignored for THAT long before XD. but i figured it is final season so i shouldnt bother her cuz it is a stressful time. id send her encouragment text's but nothing she would have to respond to.. and it stayed like that.. until she texted me she was sick for the past 2 weeks (which "could" explain why she didnt text back). but she also wanted to return the ipod i dont use (and she knows that). i told her to just keep using it but she insisted she wanted to return it. so i was like sure. so the text day i decided during the hand off id ask her out to do something over Christmas break. i didnt know her schedule that well so i just assumed she had a class. when she came out to find me she couldnt find exactly where i was study so i met her close to my study spot.. when i saw her she was wearing a hoodie with the hood on.. it turns out she was still sick.. i had brought medicine for her with left it where my stuff was so i told her to come to my desk.. she was like no im gonna go get going.. and i said 1 minute.. then she no im gonna go.. smiled and ran off.. it happened really fast..

the minute i saw her i knew i wasnt gonna ask her out with her like that because it wouldve been really inconsiderate.. well anyways i still wanted to give her the medicine so i texted her.. but she didnt respond.. then i called.. no response.. and then i sent an angry text saying how can u be so reckless coming up to return something i dont want even when you're sick.. like an hour later she texted back (its ok :) GL with your finals) by then i was confused as fuck (on top of that been up since 6 am for one of my finals) so i ended up asking her (whats going on.. u didnt have to return.. and why did you run off..?) she just texted back.. i just went up to get my textbook.. i wanted to return your stuff and get home..

so after that i didnt really text her cuz i had finals and she does too. when i was done i texted her and she was like (congratz! enjoy your christmas break!)

when i read that i was crushed XD i interpret that enjoy your break (im not gonna see you christmas break) i might be paranoid.. or right on the dot.. but at the same time i never hinted at hanging out with her or anything..

OK RS.. so.. what the hell happened.. and any suggestions if i even bother asking her out (and how would i do that) or is this a lost cause..

also.. in this case the thing that is pissing me off is not knowing whether i even have a chance or not.. cuz this girl seems like shes completely neutral when im with her (but i ask neutral too, even though i like her) but at the same time i dont ask neutral cuz try to do things for her that most normal people wouldnt do for people.. i dont believe she has a BF cuz in the now 8 months ive known her there is no mention at all.

i dont wanna regret this for the rest of my life and would rather have her know and reject me than to have all this mystery stuff.

she pushed you into her friend zone.

move on

/game

your regret should be that you didnt ask her out earlier.

lesson learned. hit it when u had it!
oh wells, just be non chalant about it and ask her if she wants to do something over the break. you have nothing to lose.
ps: you might want to change all your "ask" into "act" =)

Sounds retarded, but your best bet is to almost ignore her completely. (Could also be your worst bet, lol) Has worked for me in the past.

There are two choices:

1. Ignore her.
2. Ask her to do something over Winter Break. If she rejects, you have your answer.

TBH, would rather ask and get it over with. At least you tried instead of living a life of "what ifs".

Well, here's the problem...

Talk about a case of bad timing. This stuff always happens :lol

Just ignore her for now. Maybe send a text in the new year asking how her break was and shit. But for now, least you don't have to spend $$$ on a gift.

u'll get over it.

getting her gifts and gettign her attention is goign to be useless...... in 6 mths u'll look back and know how stupid u are cause you'll be over her.

ignoring sounds good.. i messaged her tips on her final.. she messaged me at like 430 in the morning telling me its hopeless and shes gonna get kicked outa school.. :/ is there a right way to comfort her?

^ Lets grab a cup of coffee, im sure i can cheer u up.

and on top of that i think you are being somewhat clingy. Sounds like you being whipped over her. I don't know what kinda girl she is but some girls like it when you do BFish things for them and some just kinda repel from it.

Advice in the end is just to try not be all like you're her BF and just be there for her.
GL to ya champ.

I don't know if my advice is worth much as I have a relationship thread going on right now 3 posts down from yours but you need to tell her how you feel dude. Or at least ask her out.
Either do it and know for sure or don't and wait for her to introduce her to her new bf or something.

Your best bet OP is to wait for v.Rossi's advice
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You're out for now and any pushing atm will just come across wrong.

Best bet is to forget this for now and see if it's something you can get back to later.





and oh yeah, don't worry about regrets. Even the best of players will always have a few that they missed out on that they totally passed up. This might just be one of those things for you.

sounds like you missed your chance.
But if you still want to give it go, I say stop talking to her for a while, except for one text on Christmas wishing her a merry christmas, and one text on New Years wishing her a happy new year. Then hope she calls you out for ignoring her.
If she does, you can tell her it's because you've started to grow feelings for her and you felt that she didn't feel the same way so you decided that you needed some space to get over it, but you've realized it's been hard and you don't know if you can.
at that point either 1) she tells you she's actually into you, or 2) tells you yeah she isn't (maybe she once was, maybe never at all).
Either way it'll be better than your situation now, cause
if its 1) you get the girl
it its 2) she feels bad, and gives you space, but because she feels bad, further down the road you can go back to being good friends again. Call it pity on her end, but it'll overcome the awkwardness of unrequited love between friends.

thats an awesome plan.. but unfortunately i dont think shes the type to call me out for ignoring her for any long period of time.. she'll just be like.. How are you doing? i guess giving up is good path.. its not that i dont love her.. its just im a realist and if something is not possible im not gonna chase it..

but id still like to hear other options cuz you guys have been really helpful :) thanks

You never know whats possible if you do not try to achieve it.

Despite what anyone says, you will never know what could have been/will be/ever was if you don't try.

But do what makes you happy because in the end that is what counts.

time to move on

Sorry to give u hope OP, but I do not believe in missing your chances. Stop texting, thats my advice, and call. Because this way, you will never get ignored. If she does ignore you, then call her from a house phone. If she picks up, A) You know she is trying to ignore you, so you confront her, and B) you do not seem like creeper due to the past, instead you seem like you care about her and eager to get together. From there you should pretty much ask her out for a cup of coffee.
What I think she was trying to do was to keep herself away from you for example when you asked her to wait for you to grab medicine you bought her. I'm thinking she did this to keep a "hook" on you by pushing you away bit by bit and then pulling you back in by making you keep her on your thoughts. But where she failed is that she pushed you back too far off the cliff and now you just cant get back up. Anyways, confront her and she'll see you really care about her and hopefully she hasn't found someone else already. If she already did, who cares, you'll have another friend right?

What is this crap about missing chances. You never did try to ask her out. You have over analyzed everything to hell and back. If you are comfortable with the texting, then send her a text asking to go out for coffee or something together. Tell her you want to make an effort to spend time with her although you are both busy with school.

Life will pass you by if you don't take your roll. Like you said you would like to know either way.

Just keep in mind that whenever you're dealing with a girl who you aren't dating/having anything with the tighter you hold onto her the easily it will be for her to slip through.

Don't treat her more than what she is, which should be just a friend, it's fine to flirt sometimes but don't go over the top -- boyfriend-like texts. Sometimes the girl will take it as a sign of possessiveness or w/e.

Seems like by her not responding to your texts that she was most likely thinking about what to do with you. Like others have stated, just move on.

thanks for responses people. over holidays ive been working like every day at different jobs and only had like tuesdays off. so i texted her if she wanted to go to downtown for food and roaming. she text me saying "sorry, i have a friend visiting from asia". but ive pretty much moved on like everyone else said.. just seeing whats gonna happen. if nothing, o well, shes not the only woman in the world..

i think by ignoring her its getting back to normal cuz she texted me merry christmas, i didnt respond cuz i left my phone at work all christmas =_=

anyways ill just msg happy new year and she told me her bday is the week after that

she got bored of you.. probably those corny texts

Fucking Christ. Just delete her name and number, why are you going to message her happy new year? Do you do this to all your friends? No, I doubt it and I'm sure I'm right. You think this nice little happy new years or happy birthday is going to get you any points? Hell no.

Unless you endure pain like a masochist would then keep making sure that leash she has on you is on tight. Maximum security tight.

You say there's plenty of fishes in the sea, so go tell some new bait Happy New Year. You blew your chance buddy. Learn from your stupid mistakes. Don't say you understand and go off doing something stupid like texting her some more.

"i think by ignoring her its getting back to normal cuz she texted me merry christmas, i didnt respond cuz i left my phone at work all christmas =_="

Back to normal? This is you fighting reality, you're just stooping down to desperation. Grasping on straws. Normal is you being her friend in her perspective, period.
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There should be a v. Rossi stamp for these type of threads. One for his approval, and the other for the back of his hand.

i guess the way i said it does make me seem like a still want to ask her out and shit.. after long thinking over the holidays i like the other guy said.. thought about it to hell and back and i realised this shit isnt gonna work..

for the record.. i do text friends for new years (mass generic text) but dont for birthdays.. i dont really want to get with her anymore but i still want to be on her good side cuz its hard to find someone who studies up on campus as much as she does.. call me a desperate if you want but thats what i was thinking..

thanks for the insight v.rossi. i see you are still king of this part of the forum