| Vancouver Off-Topic / Current Events The off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum. |
 | | 
02-17-2011, 09:04 PM
|
#1 | | Rs has made me the man i am today!
Join Date: May 2002 Location: van
Posts: 3,412
Thanked 494 Times in 214 Posts
| Dude crashed Paris Hilton's Birthday and all he got was a lousy cake.
http://www.facebook.com/notes/paz/i-...50122373449777 Quote:
I woke up this morning with a $2000 birthday cake in my living room.
It's big. It's red. It says "Paris".
And its #$##@*! delicious.
24 hours ago I got a call from my well-connected buddy Kevin.
"Dude, I'm crashing Paris Hilton's birthday tonight. Pretty sure I can get you in," he says.
"Pretty sure you can't," I say.
"Pretty sure I will," he says.
90 minutes later we're strolling down a red carpet like we belong there.
Hollywood is so weird sometimes, it scares me. I always imagined parties like this having more layers of security chekpoints than the white house. Yet all I needed was a red wristband with a "P" on it, and suddenly an army of black-clad mercenaries is hustling me into a mansion the size of a Holiday Inn.
Flashes shower down on us as we walk, apparently just in case we're famous.
We're not. But that hardly seems to matter. We blend pretty successfully with the guests -- and by "blend", I mean "drink heavily".
This photo turned out 95% more dramatic than intended
By comparison to the entrance, the actual party seems tame. Of course, that's "tame" as defined in Hollywood.
In Hollywood, having drinks served to you by naked, bodypainted nymphs with Tinkerbell wings is "tame."
In Hollywood, hiring an 8 foot tall Iron Man impersonator to breakdance is "tame-@%%".
On planet earth, however, these things may or may not be considered absurd to the poiint of gravitational field disruption.
Now is a good time to mention there were 6 open bars.
Dude, this was awesome.
By the time Paris blows out the candles, we're blown to smithereens. A dozen drinks deep, I'm slurring the lyrics to "Happy Birthday" as one continuous word while attemping not to fall face first into the cake.
The cake is big. Its red. It says "Paris".
And it looks #$##@*! DELICIOUS.
Its getting late. As the party thins out, I glance toward cakeville and realize not a slice of frosted deliciousness has been served.
"What's the deal with the cake?" I finally ask one of the waiters.
"Oh that red one? They'll probably just throw it out..."
I am Jack's incredulous stomach.
It was at this inebriated moment I decided no one was going to waste $2000 worth of anything on my watch.
"HeEy," I mumble to Kevin... "I have to rescue that cake."
"Bet you can't," he says.
"Bet I argh--ll blaghr," I say.
"I'll get the car." he says.
This is my gift to you. You're welcome.
Even in my sub-functional state, I realize this is going to be a delicate mission. There are still at least 100 people in the building, 20% of whom are employed to be looking for idiots like me.
Parading a confection the size of a small firetruck through the main hall is going to turn a head or two.
I make for the front door as Kev makes for the valet. I summon some gumption and begin to walk purposefully back into the party.
I brush shoulders with the guy who resembles the head of security.
"Hey man," I say to him with an air of I-know-what-I'm-doing. "The cake is in that room, right?"
"Yes, sir," he acknowledges with a slight bow toward the rear of the house.
I take my cue and make a bullet for cake city.
In one fluid motion, I sidestep a confused waiter, seize the prize, and about face to the door.
I pass the security chief again on the way out.
I nod purposefully... he nods in return.
40 seconds later I'm in the front seat of a Nissan Maxima with 70 lbs. of awesome in my lap.
Success.
As the sun rises, I crash hard. In the morning, I'll awake to an interesting surprise in the den.
It's red. It's delicious. And I don't know $*+ I'm going to do with it.
| | 
|  | | This post thanked by: | !oHenry, - kT, ak6, buddy, Ch28, chun, dlu, DsZ24, FI-Z33, fsy82, GabAlmighty, Good_KarMa, Gumby, Harvey Specter, hotjoint, Ikkaku, Jayhall, jbsali, Kim Jong Un, KingDeeCee, Liquid_o2, Manic!, metal, monkeywrench, Narayan, Nightwalker, optiblue, Osaka, Preemo, punkwax, pure.life, RabidRat, RRxtar, SB7, soowu, StaxBundlez, StylinRed, The_AK, TouringTeg, urrh, vl_86, xilley, XxFcukxX | |
02-17-2011, 09:08 PM
|
#2 | | Hypa owned my ass at least once
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 6,592
Thanked 1,491 Times in 341 Posts
|
what the shit
| |
| | |
02-17-2011, 09:13 PM
|
#3 | | & Associates Inc.
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Canada Eh
Posts: 1,631
Thanked 1,215 Times in 409 Posts
|
She got a yellow Lexus LFA from her boyfriend...jelly 
Source: http://www.motorauthority.com/blog/1...-30th-birthday
__________________
Ruthless and Associates Inc ©
Serving Revscene proudly since 2008 | |
| | |
02-17-2011, 09:15 PM
|
#4 | | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 7,655
Thanked 443 Times in 188 Posts
|
Ahahahaha, that's a good time 
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by MajinHurricane  who would ban me? lol. Look at my post count. | | |
| | |
02-17-2011, 09:15 PM
|
#5 | | Where's my RS Christmas Lobster?!
Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Canada
Posts: 863
Thanked 487 Times in 111 Posts
|
epic win.
| |
| | |
02-17-2011, 09:16 PM
|
#6 | | Ready to be Man handled by RS!
Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 84
Thanked 258 Times in 25 Posts
|
Soo epic haha props
| |
| | |
02-17-2011, 09:21 PM
|
#7 | | Fanboy
Join Date: May 2006 Location: Surrey
Posts: 3,596
Thanked 498 Times in 164 Posts
|
Epic, dudes got a story for life
__________________
---------
| |
| | |
02-17-2011, 09:28 PM
|
#8 | | Banned By Establishment
Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Infiniti
Posts: 2,457
Thanked 2,121 Times in 669 Posts
|
win
| |
| | |
02-17-2011, 09:28 PM
|
#9 | | I only answer to my username, my real name is Irrelevant!
Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: CELICAland
Posts: 25,653
Thanked 10,382 Times in 3,908 Posts
|
lol hilarious
and whoever charged $2k for that cake is a thief
| |
| | |
02-17-2011, 09:36 PM
|
#10 | | Rs has made me the man i am today!
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 3,144
Thanked 1,843 Times in 553 Posts
|
The guy with the lasers looks awesome.
__________________
nns | |
| | |
02-17-2011, 09:43 PM
|
#11 | | JDMEK9Mod | DogWhisperer
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Richmond
Posts: 14,380
Thanked 5,282 Times in 1,635 Posts
|
hahah that's pretty epic.
| |
| | |
02-17-2011, 09:47 PM
|
#12 | | My dinner reheated before my turbo spooled
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,758
Thanked 403 Times in 130 Posts
|
epic story to tell people
| |
| | |
02-17-2011, 09:48 PM
|
#13 | | I WANT MY 10 YEARS BACK FROM RS.net!
Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Abbotstan
Posts: 20,721
Thanked 12,136 Times in 3,361 Posts
|
He's lucky he got the cake... instead of Paris, aka the No-Boobie Prize.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Godzira Does anyone know how many to a signature? | ..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brianrietta Not a sebberry post goes by where I don't frown and think to myself "so..?" | | |
| | |
02-17-2011, 10:30 PM
|
#14 | | I answer every Emotion with an emoticon
Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: V
Posts: 7,849
Thanked 656 Times in 326 Posts
|
From the thread title, I thought Paris Hilton crashed her LFA already... fuck
| |
| | |
02-17-2011, 10:37 PM
|
#15 | | Rs has made me the man i am today!
Join Date: May 2002 Location: vancouver
Posts: 3,319
Thanked 1,283 Times in 270 Posts
|
cake rescuer. that's a hero if i ever saw one
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Fei-Ji haha i can taste the cum in my mouth | Quote:
Originally Posted by orgasm_donor organge7 has spoken, and we have done the opposite. yay! | | |
| | |
02-17-2011, 11:11 PM
|
#16 | | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Coquitlam
Posts: 5,324
Thanked 3,782 Times in 1,242 Posts
|
__________________
'16 Ram 1500
| |
| | |
02-17-2011, 11:16 PM
|
#17 | | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: East Atlanta 6
Posts: 2,439
Thanked 256 Times in 92 Posts
|
wow that party looks nuts i wanna be a celebrity
| |
| | |
02-17-2011, 11:32 PM
|
#18 | | I only answer to my username, my real name is Irrelevant!
Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: CELICAland
Posts: 25,653
Thanked 10,382 Times in 3,908 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by urrh cake rescuer. that's a hero if i ever saw one | lol well i was just watching TMZ and they said Hilton had a cake with her face on it (i guess that one she was blowing out) and they didnt eat it so they were going to take it to a homeless shelter and treat people to cake
i guess they would have had 2 cakes for people  | |
| | |
02-17-2011, 11:32 PM
|
#19 | | My dinner reheated before my turbo spooled
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,720
Thanked 2,116 Times in 382 Posts
|
lol good times man.
__________________ Quote:
If we are not able to ask skeptical questions, to interrogate those who tell us that something is true; to be skeptical of those in authority, then we're up for grabs..
-Carl Sagan
| | |
| | |
02-17-2011, 11:38 PM
|
#20 | | Lomac owned my ass at least once
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 6,259
Thanked 3,463 Times in 820 Posts
|
it's funny how it's such a big deal to him, but I bet no one really cared he took the cake
| |
| | |
02-17-2011, 11:41 PM
|
#21 | | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Coquitlam
Posts: 5,324
Thanked 3,782 Times in 1,242 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by rsx it's funny how it's such a big deal to him, but I bet no one really cared he took the cake | I fucking cared. It's a $2000 cake. It's worth four cars to me. It's more than I make in a month. It's fucking epic. It's the fucking principle behind it. It's the calm demeanor he had, while completely shitfaced. It's his story telling abilities.
Fuck bro
__________________
'16 Ram 1500
| |
| | |
02-17-2011, 11:43 PM
|
#22 | | Ask me about how I answered the question "How fat is TOO fat?"
Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,132
Thanked 4,122 Times in 1,141 Posts
|
what a shitty design for a birthday cake,
should have gotten something cool like a lexus cake 
__________________
I'm so stance my roof rack got a roof rack
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ Current
e92 335i 6MT FBO
e90 330i 6MT
Former
e46 330ci 5MT - RIP
uc1 5AT
em2 5MT
db7 5AT - RIP Quote:
Originally Posted by toyota86 the guys over at lambo vancouver said there are 60-70 pre-orders already. don't quote me though. | | |
| | |
02-17-2011, 11:49 PM
|
#23 | | Official Texas Ambassador
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 10,333
Thanked 5,671 Times in 1,324 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Soundy He's lucky he got the cake... instead of Paris, aka the Herpes Prize. |
Fixed that for you
| |
| | |
02-18-2011, 01:10 AM
|
#24 | | To me, there is the Internet and there is RS
Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Nanaimo
Posts: 16,021
Thanked 7,386 Times in 3,466 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by The_AK what a shitty design for a birthday cake,
should have gotten something cool like a lexus cake | She should have got an an Acura cake 
What really pisses me off is Lexus hand picked owners for the LFA and she got one.
Fixed!
__________________
Until the lions have their own historians, the history of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.
Last edited by Manic!; 02-18-2011 at 02:13 AM.
| |
| | |
02-18-2011, 01:25 AM
|
#25 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: vancouver
Posts: 2,863
Thanked 229 Times in 101 Posts
|
^ what's an FLA? 
__________________
vancouver canucks hockey
| |
| | | |
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
| | |
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:01 AM.
|
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!
