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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 04-04-2011, 08:59 PM   #26
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I dated a girl who made 38k a year, and because I am a student who is house sitting my parent's house while they're away (as in no rent), and I barely work, I make around 2k. So she literally made 1900% of my income. It's hardly noticeable if you are not blatantly broke and you can pull your weight on purchases. She was also extremely low maintenance. This btw, is why I almost exclusively date white women.

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Old 04-04-2011, 09:18 PM   #27
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I honestly picture myself being the staying home taking care of the kid type of guy. I don't think it's demoralizing or an ego-bust if i'm not making as much as she is because in the end it is a relationship where both people will need to contribute. If she is able to provide financially, I find that I can provide both emotionally and physically. But that being said, doesn't mean I won't be working at all and just relying on her pay check.
I do find it quite true that white women don't care as much about who makes more in the relationship as compared to asians. Perhaps its the whole family and cultural influence?
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Old 04-04-2011, 11:59 PM   #28
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nice stereotyping, how many ppl making 100k+ do you even know?
that sounds more like a 250k salary

my parents and a few of my close friends make 100k+ and they are grounded as the next guy, they dont take first class vacations, dont drive 60k+ cars, and dont dine at overpriced restaurants

even some millionaires i know dont live a lavish lifestyle though they can afford it, they live like a guy living with a 40k salary, however they do have expensive hobbies such as hookers, drugs and gambling, but in public you wouldnt think they make even more than 50k
I'm not trying toot my own horn but I hang around that circle of 100k; heck most of my co-workers are well in the 120k zone. (My VP and GM earns about 250k) I am grounded, I pay my mortgage (nothing crazy), i pay for my own car (not 60k but just a regular car), i eat out at decent restaurants and I go on yearly vacations; egypt, india, japan, aruba... Let's not go off tangent and compare what we can and cannot do or how often we eat out, i'm just trying to compare how there will be a paradigm shift or a difference in values for someone that's earning 40k versus 100k.

If you think money ain't going to be an issue, it gets worse. Trying TALKING to the group of people. You will soon realize HOW far off you are. They start talking about politics, their work industry, stocks, mergers of companies, current events, vacation destinations, careers and all you do is just SIT there cause you have nothing to talk about. You will notice the people talking and there will always be one douchebag that just plays on their iphone... well guess what, that's you.

As to the old women question: the reason why i've dated older women; they want you for sex which is fine. But you know they want to take you out and hang with her circle, is when you are fully capable on holding your own, that's when the milf / cougar will take you out into the wild.
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Old 04-05-2011, 10:56 AM   #29
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Quote:
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nice stereotyping, how many ppl making 100k+ do you even know?
that sounds more like a 250k salary
Well, he did say that the girl would make 150-200k MORE than him. So 200-250K sounds about right.

Unfortunately, this is completely dependent on the girl, and without knowing her, you should take any single persons advice here.
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Old 04-05-2011, 07:56 PM   #30
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are there girls that can chime in on what they think? It would be nice to get a girls perspective as well on what they expect from their male counterpart in terms of finances.

Assume in this case, the dude is already making 85-105/year.. so each person already has a good stable salary good enough to sustain themselves and a family (although the girl can do it better..)
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Old 04-06-2011, 11:44 AM   #31
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For me, All I need is someone who can and is willing to better himself in every aspect of his life. Even if he doesn't make enough money compared to me, that's fine as long as he has the passion/efforts to make what he is suppose to get paid for (whether it's $50K,$60K, $100K etc). A relationship is a 2 way street (not where one depends more on the other--but a balance) and come on..we live in the year 2011. There are a ton of women in this city who make more than their men but that doesn't mean they all expect their husbands to make more than them or be the bread winner.

I have a client (a woman) who is a big time lawyer making dough faster than I can even count--while her husband is a carpenter. He makes good money for himself but probably not even half as much as she can make. In the end, they are happily married with kids and they share the responsibility of their marriage 50/50.

It could be an ego bust for some guys, but I think many would see it as motivation. A smart and good guy isn't going to hold that against a woman he loves, but look at it as "hey...I want to be able to provide for my wife/girlfriend like she can for me. I must work harder" etc etc.
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Old 04-06-2011, 01:18 PM   #32
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I think everyone brings in good points, but ya, i hate to say it but it depends on how white-washed the the girl is, cuz if she is straight up asian-asian, I would tell the OP to forget it, even if she is willing, you wont get pass the parents, or the parents might let you "into" the family but will always look "down" on you, seriously, they wont give a rats ass, and they will insult you straight up

there is a chinese saying "癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉“
literal translation: a toad wants to eat swan's meat

you know, just my opinion =P
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Old 04-06-2011, 04:33 PM   #33
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this sort of goes in with my parents.

My mom is currently not working, but when she was working she was always making much more than my dad.

My dad was still making an awesome salary - say about $100,000, as my mom was making upwards of about $200,000-$250,000.

Lets just say that my dad did not feel one bit guilty at all. I guess at the moment because he's the only one working that we charish his work ethics and consider him the only provider, but growning up with both my parents working like that, I didn't notice one bit of conflict.

The only thing i could say is that my mom either before while working, or just because she's not working currently has got a huge ego about herself. I guess this goes either way around, to whom is making the most money.

Lets just say that you dont want to tick her off about who works and how much who makes and such...
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Old 04-06-2011, 05:54 PM   #34
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depends if she's self made or if she's inherited a position in the family company or money from the family to start her own thing.

Actually I don't really care, because I'd still strive to make more money eventually. And I know eventually I WILL make more than her.

My resources and knowledge, plus her resources? lol. c'mon.
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nipples neways...wat is with those fuck'n asians! i mean you would think they've never seen a dentist in their life. are dentists really that rare over there in ricey ricey and? looks like they're star trek ferrengi rejects! fuck'n have broken glass for teeth! goddaymn! and the smell....did a rat crawl in there and shit itself then marinate in its own shit as it decayed?ewwwwwwwwww! i swear...if one of those ferrengi asian girls gave head...when u pull the dick out it looks like it went thru a meat grinder! prolly shaved off a few slices of meat! *shudder*
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Old 04-06-2011, 06:39 PM   #35
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if a girl makes more than you = you will be her bitch........simple as that...it might come off as subtle or direct.......the bread winner makes the decisions....that's why it is always best to make your money or inherit it.
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Old 04-08-2011, 12:11 AM   #36
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Depends how mature your relationship is and the individuals that make up that relationship. My girlfriend is going to initially make more than me when she graduates (she is graduating from a top law school). She also comes from a "traditional Asian Family" but from her parents point of view - as long as I am not a bum it does not matter.

Only insecurity will destroy your relationship. Step up and provide in a different way besides money then. If she only values money then you dump her and move on - easy as that.

Here is an interesting article about money and marriages:
http://www.smartmoney.com/spending/b...1298308510316/
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Old 04-13-2011, 03:20 PM   #37
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i would not ever let this happen i would be selling 7 gram rocks if this were the case
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Old 04-24-2011, 12:03 AM   #38
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I can tellyou if the girl makes 100K and you make say 40 k, sooner of later, your values will change.

The circle of friends she hangs out with are VIPs, wearing nice clothes, driving nice cars (not from mom and dad but just what they can afford), whereas you're in the lower income zone. They go fine dining at West, at Market and you're still stuck at trying to make ends meet. They are driving decent cars and you're rolling in a corolla. They go on yearly vacations to Grand Caymen and you're trying to see if you can afford plane tickets while they are spending $200 on a bottle of champgne.

It's just life and it's when there's such a gap, the experiences will soon segregating and it'll take a toll on you. Just imagine, before you would shop at old navy & gap when you were in high school and you would go to the movies with tons of junk food trying to save your 8 dollar/ hr income, now you're in your late 20s, making 17 bucks an hour, you don't mind buying popcorn ....

a shift in perspectives will occur and that's what will kill the relationship.
This is exactly what happened to one of my friends. She is a dentist, 27, earning about $230,000 gross right now. Her bf from before was really sweet but worked at an office as an assistant or something, probably made around $50K. When she finished school everything changed -- the shit she could enjoy easily with her other newly graduated friends was not something he could afford, and it ended quite soon after. He also felt he was "holding her back" anyways, according to other friends.
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Old 04-25-2011, 01:51 PM   #39
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I'm in a similar situation right now, maybe not to the same extremes.

Been dating a girl for about 3 months now, and talking to people in her industry, she probably makes close to double what I am currently making. I'm OK with that at the moment, because I'm only 26 and I know I will be making more money in the future in my industry.

BUT, I have to go to grad school this September so I can get my industry designation, so I am going to end up close to 29 years old, with my bank accounts drained plus tens of thousands of dollars in student debt. It's absolutely worth it in the long run for me career wise, but I'm not sure how it will affect the relationship, seeing that I will have no money and she will be pulling in quite a hefty sum annually.

I guess only time will tell.
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Old 04-25-2011, 05:18 PM   #40
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My friend's girlfriend is a Dentist and hes sort of mooching off her as a free lance musician. But I say, if the love is there, it doesn't matter who makes more. You'll find a way to make it work
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Old 04-25-2011, 05:20 PM   #41
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I'm in a similar situation right now, maybe not to the same extremes.

Been dating a girl for about 3 months now, and talking to people in her industry, she probably makes close to double what I am currently making. I'm OK with that at the moment, because I'm only 26 and I know I will be making more money in the future in my industry.

BUT, I have to go to grad school this September so I can get my industry designation, so I am going to end up close to 29 years old, with my bank accounts drained plus tens of thousands of dollars in student debt. It's absolutely worth it in the long run for me career wise, but I'm not sure how it will affect the relationship, seeing that I will have no money and she will be pulling in quite a hefty sum annually.

I guess only time will tell.
I will also be in this situation as well, however I think it depends how committed she is to you and the relationship.

If she can't handle a couple years of that then that's probably not the type of girl you'd want anyway; the runawaywhenthingsgetatadbitdifficult type. Especially since you're going to school to better yourself. Its not like you'd be quitting your job for a fulltime world of warcraft position
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