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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 04-06-2011, 08:20 AM   #1
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[Confidential] How to approach friends who exagerate/lie?

The following post is from an anonymous member. If she would like to reply to any replies please pm me.

I have been friends with this guy for probably close to 5-6 years now, since then we've hung out once in a while. In the last couple years we've become much better friends, hanging out a couple times a month now. Since the last couple years I've noticed he tends to exagerate/lie, and I know this for a fact because his ex would confirm some of the things he would say aren't true. I would rather not give specific examples, but theyre things that he's done or could do. At first it didnt bother me, because I figured what he said was harmless, but I've been starting to question what stuff he says is actually true.

What would you guys do? Would you confront him?

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Old 04-06-2011, 08:30 AM   #2
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I have a friend like this as well. Unfortunately he's one of those people who always has to be right and gets extremely defensive when anyone insinuates he's not. At first I tried to be subtle about it and quietly point out those things that he was clearly lying about. Now I bluntly call him out on it regardless of who is around. This seems to be the only thing that curbs the behavior but unfortunately it has taken quite a toll on our friendship.
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Old 04-06-2011, 09:42 AM   #3
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keep it to youself and act accordingly
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Old 04-06-2011, 09:57 AM   #4
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keep it to youself and act accordingly
Agreed.

Unless it's about an issue that affects you aswell, don't waste your breath. Let them live in their own little world, because to these people, whatever you say is wrong, whatever they say is right.
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Old 04-06-2011, 10:54 AM   #5
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I had a friend like this and confronted him. It really depends on the person and their ego/pride. At this time, we're closer than we once were because he's more aware of things that he says that may not be true and I like him better for the person he really is than what he makes himself out to be. I'm someone that comes off as open as a book and rarely do I ever have to lie about things because I'm comfortable with who I am. I appreciate if the reciprocation is the same when people don't have to lie poorly to my face.
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Old 04-06-2011, 11:28 AM   #6
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I had a friend just like that. Always exaggerating her life or lying about stupid little things. Eventually it got really annoying and I just stopped trusting her. Friendships are just like relationships--honesty is the best policy. Why lie in the first place?
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Old 04-06-2011, 11:34 AM   #7
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I have to admit that I exaggerate story's sometimes and when I do my friends just call me out on it. I don't personally take offence to it since they always say it in more of a joking matter rather being pissed off about it. If you do want to confront him maybe just play it more of a joking matter then you are pissed about it. If he get's all defensive about it let it slide, you know he's over exaggerating so why make a big deal about it.
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Old 04-06-2011, 12:04 PM   #8
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Is your friend Hyde?
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Old 04-06-2011, 12:08 PM   #9
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call him out. i did that with a similar situation - not a close friend.
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Old 04-06-2011, 12:18 PM   #10
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I've had numerous friends like this. Some I still keep in contact with, some I don't even bother with anymore. I personally think it depends on what it is they're lying/exaggerating about.

Example, one of my past friends would always use his friends achievements to try to pick up women.

Out of all the times my friends did this I never said anything, eventually their bullshit would always surface itself and other ppl would catch onto it.

The other friends weren't as bad, just little things here and there, I just choose to take what they say with a grain of salt. Ill keep them as friends but not take them seriously anymore.

If you can tolerate it, just let it go.
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Old 04-06-2011, 01:00 PM   #11
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I am guilty of exaggerating stories some of the time,I dont know why, I guess I couldnt help it sometimes, I think everyone goes thru this stage in their life (most people go thru it in grade 3-4) but I am going thru it now at age 21 LOL... haha, I think the person who lies will eventually catch on as people they care about will leave them... and ya...

but as for OP, do what my friends do, just ignore 95% of the things that comes outta my mouth
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Old 04-06-2011, 01:16 PM   #12
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your friend is probably in denial anyways, so there's not much of a point in confronting him. as another poster mentioned, unless it directly involves you, it's probably best to leave it alone.
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Old 04-06-2011, 01:32 PM   #13
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Old 04-06-2011, 01:44 PM   #14
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inferiority complex

everyone's got a friend or friends like that

if you wanna call them out on their bs just exaggerate one level higher than them after they do it, he'll get the message
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Old 04-06-2011, 02:02 PM   #15
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Old 04-06-2011, 02:23 PM   #16
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It's hard when you don't give examples. I mean we all puff up our stories and add some bells and whistles to it but how big of these "lies" are we talking about.

"I make 100K" when he only makes 20K
"I dumped my gf" he got dumped....
"i bought the car with my own money" my mom paid 50% of it...
there are so many variables... i mean ... can you at least throw some type of examples?
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Old 04-06-2011, 02:30 PM   #17
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There are some lies that are 'face saving'

Like 'I dumped my girlfriend' when he got dumped. Those lies we should totally let slide.

When its 'I climbed Everest' when the guy hasn't been to the gym in 10 years or 'I met Elvis at the Butcher shop', then I call BS.
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Old 04-06-2011, 04:40 PM   #18
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The following is a reply from the Anonymous member

thanks everyone for the comments. Some examples:
-constantly tells people he used to be able to bench 300+ pounds, when as long as i've known him he's been really out of shape
-talks about f*cking his ex, but when they were going out he would only say they made out
-for the longest while he would say he quit his job, but he was actually laid off

There are many other ones, but i notice the pattern is he likes to brag about stuff. One of his ex's confirmed a number of things he lied/exagerated about.

they're fairly harmless imo which is why i havent said anything. i just dont like not knowing whether what they're saying is true or not.
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Old 04-06-2011, 07:50 PM   #19
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Confront him if he does something extreme , but little white lies is up to you .
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Old 04-06-2011, 08:04 PM   #20
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This issue of exaggeration/lies usually coincides with the issue of trust, which is one of the most important things about friendship. Why be friends with a person you cannot trust? I had a really good friend that was a chronic liar; 80% of the stuff coming out of his mouth was bullshit. It got to the point where the line between truth and lies were blurred and I could not take it anymore. You don't need people like that in your life; they're a waste of space. Plus, it gives you a bad rep for being friends with a tool.
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Old 04-06-2011, 08:47 PM   #21
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from your examples, it's not a huge issue. It's pretty common. Thank goodness you're only a friend. We all have friends like this and there are always those who "one-up" everyone else's story type guy / girl.

I usually just sit back and just laugh at how ridiculous their statements are. Sooner or later you'll hang out with him less and less and will be phased out shortly.
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Old 04-06-2011, 10:04 PM   #22
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i wouldnt bother with confronting due to the above stated reasons.

It just makes me more aware of who is full of shit and who isn't.

try to make it fun, make a game out of it!

I have a friend who is constantly spitting BS. Especially about school marks. Funny thing is I found out his password to his school email and am able to check his marks to see/comfirm that he is lying.
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Old 04-07-2011, 12:25 AM   #23
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from your examples, it's not a huge issue. It's pretty common. Thank goodness you're only a friend. We all have friends like this and there are always those who "one-up" everyone else's story type guy / girl.

I usually just sit back and just laugh at how ridiculous their statements are. Sooner or later you'll hang out with him less and less and will be phased out shortly.
this is exactly what happens. i had a couple of friends who would tell blatant lies and exaggerate almost every story they told. it was cool when i was 19/20 and drunk, i would laugh it off and go about chillin with them. then i got older and just got plain ol sick and tired of all the lies so eventually i just stopped talking to them.
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Old 04-07-2011, 03:30 AM   #24
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I just ignore my special friend here when he starts to make shit up or lie about shit he can't do.
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Old 04-16-2011, 04:57 AM   #25
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I knew a guy who was an extreme compulsive liar. Extreme to the point he even believed it himself. When it was his birthday, he told me snoop dogg was going to be there lol. He also told me that he was drafted by the seahawks when he was 16 but he rejected the offer because he didn't want to move, and always asked for peoples phone to make a call and ended up not calling anyone. I just let him have his moments, I figured that he just wanted to be "cool"
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