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08-25-2011, 01:03 PM
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#1 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Cloverdale
Posts: 11,612
Thanked 3,852 Times in 1,366 Posts
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| Konichiwa bitches
I hope this isn't a repost, made me laugh a little. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Konichiwa bitches. Are you looking for the most kick-ass fucking roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You fucking found him. I'm a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-ass companies in New York Fucking City. That's right! What you know about experience? I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky shit-hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post shit like this on Craigslist.
Anyway, so I landed this job with a marketing firm in San Francisco, and I have no fucking clue where to live. Honestly, I'm moving there in 3 weeks, so I don't give a shit if I have to sleep in your bathtub.
A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your shit. If you leave shit out, I'm just like, "Oh fuck I better not mess with this shit, because it's not mine." I turn off lights. I clean toilets. Fuck it. I'll even cook for you. That's right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shit in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's fucking FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your fucking socks off.
I also read a lot. I fucking LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that shit. I read Tuesdays with Morrie the other day. It's a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. Fucking smart. Do you like movies? I fucking love them. We can watch the shit out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, hike, play video games or play a game of one-on-one basketball, or I don't have to talk to you at all. It's completely UP TO YOU!
Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT? Of course you are! I'll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James Fucking Taylor. AWWWWWW SHIT YEA!
A lot of people ask me, "Hey, you're from Alabama. Are you racist?" And, the answer to that question is, no. I'm not racist or judgmental at all. I love everyone. I'm a secular humanist. I FUCKING LOVE PEOPLE. That's the only requirement to being a secular humanist actually. You have to like other human beings and want to help them for no other reason than they are human regardless of race, religion or sexual preference. WTF?!!!? Pretty fucking cool right?
I own almost nothing! I'm driving my car from Alabama to California in which I'll be transporting two duffelbags of clothes, one laptop computer, one guitar, one cell-phone with charger, 8 pairs of shoes, one picture frame, probably some condoms and a shitload of beef jerky and Pringles for the trip. Though, you can expect the jerky to be gone upon my arrival. Unless you'd like me to pick up some on my way into the city. See?! I'm the most considerate person you've ever met. I'm offering to buy you shit already!
Am I interested in your pad? You can bet my nomadic ass I am! I only require 4 walls, a ceiling and a floor to shelter me from the elements. Other than that, anything else will be considered a convenient plus. I'm taking being a roommate to the next level. Email me! I'll hook yo ass up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your fucking mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I'm ready to give you money.
EDIT: Craigslist decided to hook my shit back up, and I'm tweeting now. Follow me. Or don't. It's up to you. Best.Roommate.Ever (@BestRoomyEver) on Twitter Best Roomy Ever | Facebook
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The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place... and I donīt care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But ain't about how hard you hit... It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward. Thatīs how winning is done. Now, if you know what you worth, go out and get what you worth. - Rocky Balboa | 
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08-25-2011, 01:10 PM
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#2 | | How I Mod your mother
Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Crayon Box
Posts: 13,688
Thanked 977 Times in 477 Posts
Failed 18 Times in 11 Posts
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LOL
__________________ Quote: | [19-07, 16:52] bloodmack: EB did u change my avatar and title?
| Quote: | [19-07, 16:54] El Bastardo: bm i have no idea what you're talking about because i don't speak gorilla
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08-25-2011, 01:19 PM
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#3 | | RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,858
Thanked 2,420 Times in 669 Posts
Failed 530 Times in 136 Posts
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LOLLLLL
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2014 Honda Civic Si | |
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08-25-2011, 01:26 PM
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#4 | | RS Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: GTA
Posts: 31,330
Thanked 13,091 Times in 5,410 Posts
Failed 511 Times in 339 Posts
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A little bit over the top but cool nonetheless.  | |
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08-25-2011, 01:27 PM
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#5 | | I don't get it
Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 433
Thanked 96 Times in 49 Posts
Failed 198 Times in 44 Posts
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Pretty cool but I doubt anyone in the right mind would risk this ... I'll just take it as a joke though it caught enough attention to be posted on here Posted via RS Mobile | |
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08-25-2011, 02:03 PM
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#6 | | Banned (ABWS)?
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 19,432
Thanked 4,099 Times in 1,760 Posts
Failed 434 Times in 211 Posts
|  This is hilarious
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08-25-2011, 02:15 PM
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#7 | | Throw yo paws in da air!
Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: State of Trance
Posts: 5,125
Thanked 2,779 Times in 957 Posts
Failed 217 Times in 61 Posts
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respectful he says? oh the ironyy  ahha but this is pretty awesome LOL
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Proud member of GRAPE Great Revscene Action Photography Enthusiasts
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1996 Honda Prelude SR-V (Sold) | |
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08-25-2011, 02:26 PM
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#8 | | Prince of the Apes
Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Abbotsford
Posts: 2,469
Thanked 3,046 Times in 672 Posts
Failed 1,163 Times in 238 Posts
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Alabama? fuuuck i like my neck any colour but red thanks :P
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There's times in life where I want a relationship, but then I cum. Quote: |
[23-08, 13:17] nabs i've gripped ice boy's shaft before
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[26-08, 13:50] Jesusjuice is this a sports car forum? why are there so many hondas?
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08-26-2011, 03:15 PM
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#9 | | Rs has made me the woman i am today!
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Richmond
Posts: 4,457
Thanked 2,259 Times in 439 Posts
Failed 595 Times in 124 Posts
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according to his facebook he said he lost his job because of this.
I really hope not. that would suck balls
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08-26-2011, 03:34 PM
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#10 | | Fathered more RS members than anybody else. Who's your daddy?
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 25,202
Thanked 11,832 Times in 5,078 Posts
Failed 317 Times in 203 Posts
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Originally Posted by mx703  according to his facebook he said he lost his job because of this.
I really hope not. that would suck balls | a job he never had.............
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08-26-2011, 04:22 PM
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#11 | | I only answer to my username, my real name is Irrelevant!
Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: CELICAland
Posts: 25,679
Thanked 10,395 Times in 3,918 Posts
Failed 1,390 Times in 625 Posts
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why would he lose his job over this? thats ridiculous! ah well funny nontheless Posted via RS Mobile | |
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08-26-2011, 04:43 PM
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#12 | | i like gifs
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: imgur
Posts: 27,179
Thanked 7,785 Times in 2,695 Posts
Failed 4,294,967,295 Times in 169 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by quasi I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that shit in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's fucking FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your fucking socks off. | I fucking lost it at the bearnaise sauce part | |
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08-27-2011, 12:00 AM
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#13 | | Revscene.net has a homepage?!
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 1,204
Thanked 45 Times in 10 Posts
Failed 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Anybody read that with a "southern" accent after finding out the guy is from Alabama?
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Just because my username is Cyclonus doesn't mean I can't have pic of Optimus as my avatar =P
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08-27-2011, 03:18 AM
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#14 | | NEWBIE ACCOUNT!
Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 18
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Failed 0 Times in 0 Posts
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LOL  | |
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08-28-2011, 04:40 PM
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#15 | | Need to Seek Professional Help
Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,076
Thanked 359 Times in 162 Posts
Failed 9 Times in 4 Posts
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Lol!!! Now that was an interesting read for breaktime Posted via RS Mobile | |
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08-28-2011, 04:49 PM
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#16 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 12,074
Thanked 3,186 Times in 929 Posts
Failed 296 Times in 68 Posts
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haha
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