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-   -   How Much Did The Wedding Cost? (https://www.revscene.net/forums/653250-how-much-did-wedding-cost.html)

guddagudd 09-21-2011 11:59 PM
pm'd

iceburner 09-23-2011 06:23 PM
lol.

Spidey 09-23-2011 06:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by winson604 (Post 7573533)
^^
I see your point but for some people that status is important. Until your married she will always just be your gf and not your wife regardless if your life together resembles a married life.
well if they live together they are legally "married" being common law partners... they just don't have a huge celebration with a bunch of people neither of them knows, and a certificate...

i am not saying id never get married, but i can def see marriage being mainly for the woman and not the man... marriage is pretty overrated these days imo... there is a greater chance you will be miserable being married because there is much more to lose "psychologically" when you end a marriage than a common law relationship. that is why you see so many people stuck in a shitty marriage.. they feel obligated and "locked down"

Presto 09-23-2011 11:01 PM
^^^

Not to be cliche, but you don't marry someone you can live with. You marry the one you can't live without.

Spidey 09-24-2011 07:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Presto (Post 7588828)
^^^

Not to be cliche, but you don't marry someone you can live with. You marry the one you can't live without.
that is fine. and i do not disagree with you, but someone you "can't live without" TODAY isn't the same person tomorrow. People change, and most of the time start to develop different values. Most people who are practical know this and look at the divorce rates/people they know that are unhappily married. Unless you are religious, there really is no real reason you should get married except to satisfy the "happily ever ending" story engraved into your sig other's head since she was 5.

lysosome 10-01-2011 01:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ImportXxX (Post 7573441)
is this what you girls think about all the time is getting marry?? what to wear? how big will it be, how big your ring is etc...etc..

for me, that's the last thing on my mine is to go through all that...i've been with my gf for over 8 years..and she bugs me all the time about it cus i don't do anything..it annoys the heck out of me. So bad that it got my family members pressuring me about it.. I know it's selfish of me but like i told her. I can live with you, go travel places and get you the biggest ring i can afford and even get u a dress if u really want it..lol. It's not that i don't wanna get merry but i just dont' see a point of it... I dont need a piece of paper to prove that we're marrry and have to tell the whole world about it..woopy doo. If everything is fine the way it is, then why change it?!? i've seen people getting married at the age of 24 and i'm like wtf.. For me, i'm gonna try to drag it on as long as possible..lol

sorry just wanted to share this, maybe it's just me..haha
How could you say you love your girlfriend if she wants something so badly but you are not giving it to her? To you getting married is merely "a piece of paper" anyways isn't it?

Wait....you did not say you love her...LOL

Spidey 10-01-2011 09:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by lysosome (Post 7597584)
How could you say you love your girlfriend if she wants something so badly but you are not giving it to her? To you getting married is merely "a piece of paper" anyways isn't it?

Wait....you did not say you love her...LOL
it isn't whether you love her or not, it is whether you have the same values as her. for me, I would never change or start having faith in a religion just because my gf wanted me to change my view because that would be the only way we could be together. It's more than just "loving her" or not.

quasi 10-01-2011 10:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueG2 (Post 7597698)
it isn't whether you love her or not, it is whether you have the same values as her. for me, I would never change or start having faith in a religion just because my gf wanted me to change my view because that would be the only way we could be together. It's more than just "loving her" or not.
My wife is catholic, I brought up catholic but have considered myself an athiest for the last 18 years. She wanted to get married in a catholic church and although I wasn't all that in favor of it I did it for her. Marriage and relationships in general are all about give and take, you can do something for someone without challenging your morals and beliefs. I got married in a catholic church by a catholic priest but I certainly don't consider myself a catholic nor would she expect me to.

Spidey 10-01-2011 10:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by quasi (Post 7597765)
My wife is catholic, I brought up catholic but have considered myself an athiest for the last 18 years. She wanted to get married in a catholic church and although I wasn't all that in favor of it I did it for her. Marriage and relationships in general are all about give and take, you can do something for someone without challenging your morals and beliefs. I got married in a catholic church by a catholic priest but I certainly don't consider myself a catholic nor would she expect me to.
There is nothing wrong with that... as long as you didn't have to change your actual beliefs, and faith..

and we all know catholics sin more than "athiests". :troll:

iEatClams 07-07-2013 12:47 PM
Sorry bumping this old thread as I'm looking for info/thoughts on weddings as I recently got engaged. T

hings on our minds right now is where to start looking for venues, how to finance it, and how to appease more traditional parents - we already told them we are doing white food and not traditional Asian and that it will be a "western" venue.

Presto 07-08-2013 03:42 PM
Unless you have a lot of money to burn, you don't want to be shelling out $200/guest. 1st thing is to set a budget, and stick to it. It's really easy for the costs to go spiraling out of control.

Spoon 07-08-2013 03:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by iEatClams (Post 8276198)
how to finance it
:facepalm:

Quote:
Originally Posted by iEatClams (Post 8276198)
we already told them we are doing white food and not traditional Asian and that it will be a "western" venue.
Gonna be even more money. Western weddings charge you for every bloody thing. GL

SoNaRWaVe 07-08-2013 06:48 PM
as far as i know, everything related to weddings are paid in 2 portions. one is a deposit or a % of the final amount, and then you pay the remaining balance on your wedding date or somewhere near it depending on what you have got worked out. the only financing you're gonna get is either through your credit card, line of credit, or paying back whoever is helping you out.

weddings can be as expensive as you want it to be or as cheap as you want it to be. remember, its your and hers day. make it memorable for you 2. as said, make a budget and by all means, do NOT sway from it. shit gets out of control fast and before you know it, you're screwed.

10 years down the road, you 2 will remember the day. 10 years down the road, your buddy at table 6 will probably only remember the booze, food and the hot chicks that were there.

iEatClams 07-08-2013 06:49 PM
by financing I mean it will be 1/3 us, 1/3 my parents, 1/3 her parents. but it's difficult as some parents will only lend money if they get certain things they want. I understand we will recover a lot of the costs from wedding gifts.

SoNaRWaVe 07-08-2013 07:02 PM
your best bet is to plan the wedding like you will pay for the whole thing. and if they decide to pay and help you, then good. if not, then at least its still in your budget. it sounds like your/her parents will only help out if certain criteria are met. you bend your wedding to their wants, it won't really be your wedding anymore.

i understand that it is important to please both sides of the parents as well, so compromise and make something work that its agreeable on all sides. this way, you won't feel like your wedding is not in your control anymore.

Special K 07-08-2013 07:37 PM
I am in the planning process as well. We decided Sundays are more economical than Saturdays. We are also doing Western style but like the above mentioned they charge you for everything. Before you go ask for quotes and such, count the number of guests you have. That will narrow down what you can afford and where fits.

Good luck! I find it a pretty fun process so far.

We are paying 100% of the wedding. So parents both sides really just "show up". Haha
Posted via RS Mobile

Traum 07-08-2013 08:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by iEatClams (Post 8277089)
by financing I mean it will be 1/3 us, 1/3 my parents, 1/3 her parents. but it's difficult as some parents will only lend money if they get certain things they want. I understand we will recover a lot of the costs from wedding gifts.
It's your wedding, so I am not sure why you two expect your parents to pay for part of it. More importantly, you said in your opening post that you want to do western food instead of the traditional food that they will probably like better. Hey guess what, if both of your parents are covering part of the bill, they damn well better get a say in what happens in the wedding.

You want to call all the shots in your wedding? Better pay for it all by yourselves.

fliptuner 07-08-2013 08:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Traum (Post 8277156)
It's your wedding, so I am not sure why you two expect your parents to pay for part of it. More importantly, you said in your opening post that you want to do western food instead of the traditional food that they will probably like better. Hey guess what, if both of your parents are covering part of the bill, they damn well better get a say in what happens in the wedding.

You want to call all the shots in your wedding? Better pay for it all by yourselves.
When you give someone a gift, do you get something you think they'll like or what you want?

iEatClams 07-08-2013 08:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Special K (Post 8277125)
I am in the planning process as well. We decided Sundays are more economical than Saturdays. We are also doing Western style but like the above mentioned they charge you for everything. Before you go ask for quotes and such, count the number of guests you have. That will narrow down what you can afford and where fits.

Good luck! I find it a pretty fun process so far.

We are paying 100% of the wedding. So parents both sides really just "show up". Haha
Posted via RS Mobile
In reality we are probably paying for it 100% ourselves. It's just our parents lending us the money we dont fully have yet to cover any shortfall before we get some money back from wedding gifts. The way I think about it, we only get a shot at this thing once and I want to ensure the fiance is happy with it. I'll compromise with certain demands from the folks but wont do anything that we will regret. Of course I won't spend more than I can afford.

Personally myself I can just go down to city hall and sign the papers.

iEatClams 07-08-2013 08:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ICE BOY (Post 8277184)
When you give someone a gift, do you get something you think they'll like or what you want?
check the gift registry or when in doubt, just give them cash.

kiwee 07-08-2013 09:22 PM
Don't know if this website is going to help you or not.

Wedding Planning Tools

fliptuner 07-08-2013 09:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by iEatClams (Post 8277202)
check the gift registry or when in doubt, just give them cash.
It was in reference to Traum's post.

Fuck, I'm Asian, there's only 1 gift. :lol


But since you mentioned registries, I think it's fucking retarded that companies that offer them, don't offer to hold all your items for pick-up. It makes a lot more sense to let people purchase an item you selected online, log in that person for that gift and just have all the items stored for pick-up.

That way, I can buy you a gift, not waste time and money going to the store, wrapping it and bringing it to the reception, only to have you lug everything home. It also makes things easy for people who can't attend, from out of town. It's more convenient, easy to track people/gifts and environmentally friendly.

Traum 07-08-2013 10:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ICE BOY (Post 8277184)
When you give someone a gift, do you get something you think they'll like or what you want?
It's always different when money is involved. All I'm saying is, if the parents are paying for some of it, be ready to expect them to make at least a few demands, and the one receiving the monetary support will probably feel some pressure to accommodate their "requests". If they don't make any, consider yourself lucky. If they do, it's perfectly normal.

fliptuner 07-08-2013 10:25 PM
I totally get what you're saying. My parents offered to kick in a decent chunk of change if we got married in a Catholic church. Yeeaaahhhh...no. Thanks but no thanks.

What Clams and his fiancé should do, if they need the help and think their parents are going to try to steer the wedding in a direction they don't want to go, is request that they only help out with certain aspects of the wedding. ie. flowers, photo/video, limo, ceremony costs, etc. At least that way they're limited in where their opinion carries any weight.

mr_chin 07-09-2013 08:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ImpactZ (Post 7573799)
if you keep putting it off, she may leave you to find someone who is willing to get married
If that's the case, then the question you should ask yourself is, is she with you because of status? Or because she is in love with you?

What is marriage in reality? Tax/household income purposes and a paper of declaration.

I'm not against marriage, but I just don't see a point in it unless you have extra money to spend on a wedding. Otherwise, put the money to good use for the both of you instead.


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