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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 12-13-2011, 07:24 PM   #1
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[CONFIDENTIAL] Moving On Stage

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So me and my ex broke up about 2-3 weeks ago officaly. We dated for almost 2 years and honestly it was the best 2 years of my life, yeah everyone says that but it was really different with her. The first year of our relationship was rocky but she still gave me chances to improve but I was to stupid to realize how special she was to me. Just this summer I tried my best to make up all of my paste mistakes to her but she just couldn't let go of the past. Idk why it took me so long to finally realize that she was something speical to me. So pretty much last 1-2 months of our relationship was were it all fell apart. Stupid fights would insue and she started hanging out with me less.

So finally come Black Friday weekend is when it was officaly over between us two. Recently she started posting these on tumblr and stuff how "Happiness Achieved" so I wondered who it was. To my surprise it was one of my closeish friends that started liking her and stuff. Most guys would get pissed and kill the friend but like for me I was happy to know that shes happy once again. But theres just a part of me also thats like wtf bro? you dont touch a friends ex-gf.. right? Like I was happy that she was able to tell me herself who it is and the fact that my friend wanted to talk to me about it kinda made it assuring that she'll be fine but idk...

Like I want to move on but its just so hard because I'm still madly in love with her atm. We both agreed mutually that we dont want to become strangers to each other but its hard talking to her without saying I miss you or I love you or I want you back.. This whole situation just kills my mood everyday and even for the holidays. I'm gonna lose some man points here but there hasn't been one night since she left where I haven't cried about missing her and our relationship. Everynight I'd go through my head of the "what ifs" =/ What should I do.. I'm a complete mess

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Old 12-13-2011, 07:32 PM   #2
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what were the reasons behind these arguments?

and I think if once in a while you spark up a conversation about positive things and good memories then she might change her mind
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Old 12-13-2011, 07:33 PM   #3
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Moving on is tough but you're only making it harder by staying "friends" or whatever the hell you both agreed on. Some people can be friends with their ex...but you need to give yourself time to heal..ALONE. None of this "lets keep talking...lets stay friends" shit because it will just backfire on you. Obviously it's easy for her to say that because she's already moved on while you're still in love with her.

Don't feel like you're not a man because you cry over her. Crying is natural...it's how a person grieves a loss. Don't feel embarassed and anyone who tells you you're being a pussy is a douchebag. Some people take longer than others to move on, everyone is different and don't feel like you neeed to rush into getting "better."

The old saying "Focus on you" may seem cliche and typical advice..but it really is the best remedy on getting over a breakup. Take this time to spend time with friends, be with your family, work out, ANYTHING to get your mind off of the sadness. You'd be surprised how much you will learn about yourself overtime and you'll have a better idea as to what you really want in a relationship the next time around.

As for the guy...define "close-ish." Is he someone you talk to daily? I don't think it's wrong of you to think WTF but at the same time...these things happen. Maybe he wasn't all that great of a friend you thought he was in the first place...or maybe they really are a better match. Either way, I think it's time to just distance yourself from all this drama and just close that chapter of your life.
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Old 12-13-2011, 10:00 PM   #4
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People always says "let's be friends" and most of the time, it's just to be nice. Don't sweat it. Remember that you may not be friends now but you could be friends later.

Instead of playing the blame game on the douche of a friend or how your now-ex can't forget the past, focus on yourself. Clean up your acts, reflect on your mistakes. Nobody is perfect. We ALL make mistakes. It's never too late to fix them.

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.” - Tupac
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Old 12-13-2011, 11:23 PM   #5
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wtf bro? you dont touch a friends ex-gf.. right?
it ain't fun until you share it with the bros



anyways I still like my ex more than my current gf. I was with my ex for 4 years (no arguments & went trips around the world) and at the end broke up cause of greed. Point is? No one gives a shit about your problems because people has dealt with worst than you and still moved on. Dont be a loser and cry over silly crap like "love", especially when you are a guy.
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Old 12-14-2011, 02:21 AM   #6
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Saw this posted on the RS twitter page haha!

Sounds you like you bent over backwards to all her demands and i would guess maybe even smothered her a bit. Not good dynamics for a relationship one person shouldn't have so much control. I got that from how you worded "she kept giving me chances to improve.". Basically she got bored knowing that the fate of the relationship rests in her hands. Women don't like that. Learn to set some boundries and stick up for yourself.

I'll be honest you sound young and experience tells me that she ain't coming back. Move on eventually you will feel better. It's going to suck for a bit but it's called growing pains homie!

As said before, avoid being friends with your ex as you need space. Don't focus on that friend cutting your grass that's just unneeded drama. You have some maturing to do so focus on ways to make yourself better. Goto the gym, eat better, read books etc.
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Old 12-14-2011, 09:54 AM   #7
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Saw this posted on the RS twitter page haha!

Sounds you like you bent over backwards to all her demands and i would guess maybe even smothered her a bit. Not good dynamics for a relationship one person shouldn't have so much control. I got that from how you worded "she kept giving me chances to improve.". Basically she got bored knowing that the fate of the relationship rests in her hands. Women don't like that. Learn to set some boundries and stick up for yourself.

I'll be honest you sound young and experience tells me that she ain't coming back. Move on eventually you will feel better. It's going to suck for a bit but it's called growing pains homie!

As said before, avoid being friends with your ex as you need space. Don't focus on that friend cutting your grass that's just unneeded drama. You have some maturing to do so focus on ways to make yourself better. Goto the gym, eat better, read books etc.
I'm gonna have to agree here. She kept giving you "chances to improve," meanwhile WHAT THE FUCK WAS SHE DOING? Sounds like she had you eating out of the palm of her hand..

A relationship is a 2 way street. If its rocky you BOTH work at it. She doesnt get to call the shots.

Bitches these days always have a false sense of entitlement. (Not all)
You know, the ones that expect their bf's to do this and that for them and carry the entire relationship otherwise they dont "love" them.

I could be completely wrong here, and maybe you kept hurting her the first year maybe thats why things were "rocky" but from how you worded it, it sounds like the two of you needed to work at it, TOGETHER.

I know this doesnt help you move on and I may have come off a little harsh, but it'll help you later on down the road when another bitch like that tries to walk all over you.
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Old 12-14-2011, 03:22 PM   #8
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I don't think it really matters what happened, who's at fault, who did what, if it was a good relationship or bad relationship, etc. etc., anymore. What's done is done. What's important now is focusing on getting over her and finding happiness on your own because it looks like she's already found hers. Learn from this relationship so you can make your next relationship even better. Try new hobbies, meet new people, keep busy. Cry, because you did lose something important, but in the end you want to come out smiling because you were blessed with the good times you were able to have with her.

Good luck!
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Old 12-14-2011, 08:31 PM   #9
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I'm gonna have to agree here. She kept giving you "chances to improve," meanwhile WHAT THE FUCK WAS SHE DOING? Sounds like she had you eating out of the palm of her hand..

A relationship is a 2 way street. If its rocky you BOTH work at it. She doesnt get to call the shots.

Bitches these days always have a false sense of entitlement. (Not all)
You know, the ones that expect their bf's to do this and that for them and carry the entire relationship otherwise they dont "love" them.

I could be completely wrong here, and maybe you kept hurting her the first year maybe thats why things were "rocky" but from how you worded it, it sounds like the two of you needed to work at it, TOGETHER.

I know this doesnt help you move on and I may have come off a little harsh, but it'll help you later on down the road when another bitch like that tries to walk all over you.
Exactly! A relationship is a two way street and if she "gives you chances to work on yourself" to make the relationship work then she's a useless cunt. If there's something wrong with the relationship you both have to make changes. Use this as a learning experience and apply it to future relationships
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Old 12-14-2011, 11:31 PM   #10
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OP, your buddy sounds like a snake, and he was just waiting for the right opportunity to pounce
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Old 12-15-2011, 12:22 AM   #11
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agree even just as a regular friend you don't take another person gf unless of coz they ask you first. Maybe the whole reason you broke up with your gf could be him doing stuff behind your backs/saying bad stuff about you/sugar talk your gf.........



hope this will at least make you feel happier for a few minutes.
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Old 12-15-2011, 01:01 AM   #12
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"lets be friends"
tell her to take her pity words back and shove it up her cunt

What you need is a little getaway with buddies.
trust me
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Old 12-15-2011, 11:17 AM   #13
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^ This man speaks the truth. Grab a few of your closest friends, hit Vegas for 48 hours and feel like a man again (whether at the clubs or at the Rhino.)
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Old 12-15-2011, 11:57 AM   #14
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sorta same deal happened to me lately too. I always say its easy to move on, if you have someone to move on to. My ex keeps trying to keep me as a friend (we were together for 5 years) but shes already moving on, she has a guy constantly texting her and asking her to chill. She doesnt realize its not fair that way to keep a friendship on their terms because they have it going fine for them. BUT according to Revscene and a lot of other posts I've read. This guy who is trying to constantly get her out is supposidly supposed to be beta. Those who show hunger shall not eat.

But I feel ya bro... COLEWORLD
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Old 12-15-2011, 01:21 PM   #15
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You gotta be the APLHA!
cz you know what under alpha?
B...
no its not beta.

its called a BITCH
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Old 12-29-2011, 04:34 PM   #16
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The following is a reply from the OP

@everyones replies.

Thanks for the advices guys really helped me the past week but from time to time I do still feel like shit about the whole situation.. Also doesn't help that the fact the Holidays is pretty much a couple season T__T I've also deleted her and my friend off my phone and facebook. Just kinda hard to avoid them when both are like always invited to every gathering with most of my friends.. Ditched out on like 4 gatherings cause of them

Question.. what should I do if she comes to me to talk about problems with her life and relationship or just ot talk in general? Should I be a good friend and talk with her or I shouldn't even bother with that anymore?
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Old 12-29-2011, 07:58 PM   #17
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Ditch, you don't want to be a shoulder to cry on. Move on and don't let it bother you anymore. The longer you hold on to it the more it hurts.
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Old 12-29-2011, 08:46 PM   #18
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I think you're better off just cutting communication with her since it seems like you're having problems accepting the fact that she has a thing with your buddy (correct me if I'm wrong). You gotta find your own hobbies and shit, I know how it feels. Maybe 6 months down the road you guys can talk again but then again I still highly oppose it.
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Old 12-29-2011, 08:56 PM   #19
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The following is a reply from the OP

@everyones replies.

Thanks for the advices guys really helped me the past week but from time to time I do still feel like shit about the whole situation.. Also doesn't help that the fact the Holidays is pretty much a couple season T__T I've also deleted her and my friend off my phone and facebook. Just kinda hard to avoid them when both are like always invited to every gathering with most of my friends.. Ditched out on like 4 gatherings cause of them

Question.. what should I do if she comes to me to talk about problems with her life and relationship or just ot talk in general? Should I be a good friend and talk with her or I shouldn't even bother with that anymore?
She'd have to be the stupidest/selfish bitch alive if she expects you to be her shoulder to cry on.

Although you guys agreed to not become strangers, it's common sense that some people need time to move on with their lives before initiating communication again.

What I'm saying is, dont go out of your way to hear her problems even if she begs you. Focus on yourself
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Old 12-29-2011, 11:45 PM   #20
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Agreed.

Been there, done that. I learned the hard way. Like the 3 above have said, ditch and do your own thing.
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Old 12-30-2011, 12:00 AM   #21
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^+1, focus on your own life.

But again, it won't completely go away. I still wonder somwtimes, and my heart beats just a bit faster when I see her
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Old 01-23-2012, 07:46 PM   #22
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U guys agree only way to get over someone is to replace with someone else ? I know that's like putting on a band aid but somewhat true ?
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But of course focus on self Is priority
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Old 01-24-2012, 09:30 AM   #23
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similar story to me too. I was planning on getting back with my ex of 5 years. I had really missed her and we talked a lot and were on the way back of getting into a relationship. Until one night I was at her place, we just chilled and chatted (no spooning or fooling around, no jokes) after I left she said dont ever come back over again. Confused as shit I called and was like wtf after a bunch of her excuses she stopped and goes "...and I'm kinda interested in _______". Which was a guy who was making an attempt to get her too. She complained about him a lot; about his cheapness, his blunt and rude personality, and lack of doing anything in life. But he started calling her out more. The lesson is "When she boat is close jump for it when yours is sinking".

Now I've accepted it. I was so full of resentment for now feeling like a 2nd option. So I dropped it cut all my ties with her. To my surprise she texted me "Hey...A shot in the dark. but will you be my valentine..?" I texted back asking what happened to the other guy her excuse: "I dont want to spend it with him". I ignored it for a whole day...and i replied with "No."

Im done with this idiot. Anyways sorry for the off topic but to be honest I read somewhere: "You cant be friends with your ex if you still have feelings for them". It just doesnt work and when you hangout you'll get all the familiar feelings againt and feel nothing but shut down later. Move on and focus on yourself, its nice...sometimes.
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Old 01-26-2012, 02:23 PM   #24
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lol broke up with my ex in the summer. went to watch a movie with her like a few weeks after and it felt awkward as fuck cus we didn't kiss or do anything except just watching it! dunno if we tried to get together but we couldnt and when i said lets just be friends, she always kept saying "we can not, I have feeling for you". Took her 5 months to delete me off facebook LOL
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Old 01-26-2012, 03:39 PM   #25
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similar story to me too. I was planning on getting back with my ex of 5 years. I had really missed her and we talked a lot and were on the way back of getting into a relationship. Until one night I was at her place, we just chilled and chatted (no spooning or fooling around, no jokes) after I left she said dont ever come back over again. Confused as shit I called and was like wtf after a bunch of her excuses she stopped and goes "...and I'm kinda interested in _______". Which was a guy who was making an attempt to get her too. She complained about him a lot; about his cheapness, his blunt and rude personality, and lack of doing anything in life. But he started calling her out more. The lesson is "When she boat is close jump for it when yours is sinking".

Now I've accepted it. I was so full of resentment for now feeling like a 2nd option. So I dropped it cut all my ties with her. To my surprise she texted me "Hey...A shot in the dark. but will you be my valentine..?" I texted back asking what happened to the other guy her excuse: "I dont want to spend it with him". I ignored it for a whole day...and i replied with "No."

Im done with this idiot. Anyways sorry for the off topic but to be honest I read somewhere: "You cant be friends with your ex if you still have feelings for them". It just doesnt work and when you hangout you'll get all the familiar feelings againt and feel nothing but shut down later. Move on and focus on yourself, its nice...sometimes.
IMO if a woman talks about a guy a lot, whether its negative or positive, shes into him
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