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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 01-12-2012, 12:03 AM   #26
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I'm currently in a long-d relationship and it's been good so far. Like everyone else said, don't be nosey, do your own stuff and the basic trust of she's not going to mess around with another guy the moment she's out of your sight. I wouldn't do surprise visits though and don't assume anything, it only makes an ass out of u n me.

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Old 01-16-2012, 02:50 PM   #27
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my tip: don't get into one. its doomed. sorry.

OR

break up NOW. if she comes back to town, start up again (if you still feel the same)
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Old 01-16-2012, 03:49 PM   #28
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^ So you date someone and then break up with them just because they have to temporarily leave town for work for 4 months? And then when they come back you're just gonna show up and be like "hey, couldn't handle you being away for a few months but now you're here, it's all good in the hood so lets redo"?

Really make you wonder why there's so many fucked up relationships these days.
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Old 01-16-2012, 07:00 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turbo E View Post
my tip: don't get into one. its doomed. sorry.

OR

break up NOW. if she comes back to town, start up again (if you still feel the same)
I'm just echoing what Nikko said. WTF man?

It's like you feel relationships aren't even worth the effort. I started this thread because I think my girl is worth expending the effort to keep in a relationship even though she will be away for a while and I wanted tips to keep it fresh and important things to remember.

If the girl that you're dating isn't worth waiting 4 months for, I think you'really doing it wrong.
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Old 01-16-2012, 07:24 PM   #30
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I was in one a long time ago, but it quickly fell apart.

My advice is, don't be preachy, don't check up on her all the time, don't assume anything, just keep yourself occupied.
Bury yourself in a video game or a TV series or something. Because essentially, there's really nothing you have control over while she's gone anyway, so don't stress yourself out.

Just do your own thing until she gets back, then pick up from where you left off. If she does happen to throw the relationship out the window so easily, then you probably didn't wanna be with someone like that anyway.

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Originally Posted by roastpuff View Post
If the girl that you're dating isn't worth waiting 4 months for, I think you'really doing it wrong.
To mirror what you said, consider whether or not she thinks you're worth waiting 4 months for.
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Old 01-18-2012, 06:00 PM   #31
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Four months is nothing.... and dude at least she's still IN BC. When my ol lady went away for six months, we communicated everyday. Whether it was through Skype or FB private messages. Keep in contact, but give her the time to find herself, and do a little bit of exploring on her own.

Think of all the things you guys will have to talk about when she does return. It'll be fresh.
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Old 01-19-2012, 12:22 AM   #32
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Also...keep us all updated
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Old 01-19-2012, 02:58 AM   #33
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OP: serious question, how old are you? you seem pretty mature yet she's your first girlfriend? i'm just curious, if you don't feel comfortable answering just ignore this sentence

also, this thread hits close to home and there's a lot of good advice in here. like dino said, keep is updated as often as possible - maybe more advice can be offered if any hiccups come along

good luck buddy
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Old 01-19-2012, 04:50 AM   #34
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Every girl is different, and most of the time, despite the best intentions, relationship advices rarely work in a one-size-fits-all manner. In that respect, for me it's really simple: "Who the girl is determines whether or not she's worth the trouble, the wait, and the patience."

Describe her to yourself, what she means to you, and how much you want to make this work. Usually your answer is right there. Whether this turns out to be a good decision or bad one in retrospect, either way it's going to be a life/learning experience and it's part of how we grow.

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Old 01-19-2012, 08:22 AM   #35
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Thanks guys. I'm currently traveling so I'm on my phone and can't do individual quoting, so excuse the rather general reply.

We are giving each other some personal space but still staying in contact through Skype, email etc. I'm trying to maintain a balance between talking and making sure each of us has some 'alone' time but it's hard when the two of you do want to talk to each other a lot, heh.

I'm 23 but she is my first girlfriend. Let's just say that I was.not the most confident guy in high school and I.had self esteem issues there. Not the best in interpersonal relationship though I had a lot of friends. The girls that I asked put weren't interested in me in high school.

Noir, what you said is good advice and something along the line of what I've been trying to think out for myself. So far the answers are "a lot" to both. Her answers seem to match mine as well.

She's coming back to town for Chinese New Year, and we're really looking forward to seeing each other this weekend. We're also planning a ski trip for Reading Break up at Big White.

I'll keep you guys updated.
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Old 01-19-2012, 01:05 PM   #36
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Just keep in mind it's reeeally easy to be over-attached to your first girlfriend. Not presuming it's not going to work out or anything, but just try and keep your emotions in check as well.

And as stated above.. 4 months is not very long..
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Old 01-19-2012, 01:40 PM   #37
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I'm 20 on my first gf too. I want to plan a trip to Big White too lol. Keep us posted.
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Old 01-19-2012, 06:42 PM   #38
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First girlfriend and a long distance relationship. Good luck bro.
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