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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...

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Old 01-31-2012, 09:24 AM   #1
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My friend is a drug addict, what should I do

So I've been friends with this guy since high-school...he smokes a lot of pot, always has, always will. It's gotten to the point now where that's all he does, he doesn't go to work so he can smoke, he doesn't like socialization with anyone, I try to get him to come to the gym, to the bar, where ever.

He's fucking stupid and forgets things immediately...talking to him is like talking to a fucking baby. The final straw came last night...he's at the point where he doesn't have a place to live tomorrow and I was trying to help him find a place to live. He just said "I cant meet people right now or look at houses because Im stoned" and went home to smoke more weed.

Should i try to help this guy anymore or tell him to go fuck him self? He's basically starting to be a fucking loser and I can't be bothered anymore...but hes been friends with me for many years

TLDR; My friend is a loser who doesn't do anything but smoke weed and lacks any sort of social skills to live in the real world. He lives with mommy. Do I ditch him as a friend because he has no desire to change?

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Old 01-31-2012, 09:34 AM   #2
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The saying that you can't save someone who doesn't want to save themselves is entirely true. Sadly.

What you can do first is contact someone at NA (or another soberiety group), and ask their advice & experience and get their information (you'll need this later).

Then you can talk to your friend. Be frank and up front about your concerns. Regardless of his willingness to get help give him the local NA group's information. He will possibly get very hostile, be prepared for this. He might get very yeah yeah what ever as well and dismissive about your concerns. Be prepared for this as well. This is the line drawing - I'm happy to be around you sober but I can't be around you stoned, kinda talk.

Regardless of how this goes, you should contact his family. Give THEM the sobriety group's information as well and tell them their son has a damned problem and they need to intervene before he kills more of his brain cells.

After that point you've done all you can really do. If he's willing to clean up hen be willing to provide sober spaces for your friend (gym good, bar not so much), if he isn't... well he isn't ready to help himself and maybe rock bottom will be tomorrow when he doesn't have a place to live.
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Old 01-31-2012, 09:39 AM   #3
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Hey there OP,

Props to you for making attempts to help your friend.

Judging from your friend's situation, he is more than waist-deep into his drug addiction. Of course, the only way for him to get better is to go cold-turkey and rehab. Since it's an addiction to chemical compounds, he's gonna have go through hell to break the nasty habit.

You sound really frustrated, as a caring friend most likely will be like. But in my opinion, I may not know what his family is like...BUT I think it's your friend's "MOTHER" that should be first to take some action.


You mentioned that he lives with his mother. The mother can for example:
-threaten to kick him out of the house
-check him into rehab
-take complete control/ limit your friend's finances


Telling him to screw off isn't really necessary, but in all honesty, just being there for him when he needs it; is all you can really do for him.



Props again to you OP,
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Old 01-31-2012, 09:54 AM   #4
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In regards to his mom, she is a very successful Lawyer, his younger sister is attending University to become a Lawyer as well. Because his parents are successful he feels entitled to have everything free in life and doesn't want to work. I believe his mom has offered to pay for his education, if he were to go, but nope...none of that.

Also, he currently lives with his mom and she wants him gone by the end of the month, so that's already covered. Lastly, he does have a job as sell but skips it regularly and finds it funny that he's missed 5 days of work at a job he's only been at for 2 months.
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Old 01-31-2012, 10:09 AM   #5
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cut him out of your life, he doesnt want help? dont give him any.

lifes too short to worry about other peoples problems man, live your own life
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Old 01-31-2012, 10:12 AM   #6
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You are not going to be able to change him until he gets what he is doing.

Tell him that you do not agree with the way he is living his life and you have nothing in common with him anymore. You are not going to sit there and watch him waste away his life. Until he wants to make a change in his life, you need to move on.

It sucks...I did the same thing....a couple of my friend got into coke...I wanted nothing to do with it and had to turn my back on them. I don't regret it for a second.
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Old 01-31-2012, 10:43 AM   #7
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It's not that your friend is addicted to pot. It's just that he's extremely lazy and entitled. Of course, the pot doesn't help, either.
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Old 01-31-2012, 11:37 AM   #8
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^ true lmao.

Holy your friend sounds like a huge loser.i believe you SHOULD let him bum on the streets for a lil bit SO he will come to realize the consequences. If u support him now he will feel entitled to support again.
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Old 01-31-2012, 12:23 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _Hotsauce_ View Post
In regards to his mom, she is a very successful Lawyer, his younger sister is attending University to become a Lawyer as well. Because his parents are successful he feels entitled to have everything free in life and doesn't want to work. I believe his mom has offered to pay for his education, if he were to go, but nope...none of that.

Also, he currently lives with his mom and she wants him gone by the end of the month, so that's already covered. Lastly, he does have a job as sell but skips it regularly and finds it funny that he's missed 5 days of work at a job he's only been at for 2 months.

I agree with the others, this guy is your friend and always well be. Painful as it may seems to watch him tumble and fall, there's very little that you can do to help him.

Maybe his addiction will land him in the hospital one day from some self-inflicted accident. But even then, he may still want to go back to his old ways.

poor attitude on life + a bad addiction =
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Old 01-31-2012, 03:10 PM   #10
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walk away
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Old 01-31-2012, 06:45 PM   #11
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This guy is only going to bring you down in life. Move along.
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Old 01-31-2012, 09:07 PM   #12
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shoots him before he shoots u

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Old 01-31-2012, 09:24 PM   #13
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If he doesnt want help , dont ditch him as a friend.

Let him know you will always be a bro to him whenever he needs someone.

This is just a phase

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Old 01-31-2012, 09:42 PM   #14
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rofl mom is a lawyer? i wish mine was on so i can follow roots of my parents. I fucking hate people not taking what their parents are for granted.... so many people in this forum pay fees by themselves and he has everything but is CLUELESS about his life
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Old 01-31-2012, 09:42 PM   #15
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The fact that there is no physical dependency addiction symptoms associated with marijuana means he's just a loser who doesn't want to stop because he's selfish.

Berz out.
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Old 01-31-2012, 10:19 PM   #16
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the mind is more powerful than the body in this case.
other drugs have physical dependencies but in probably the vast majority of addicts cases, its the psychological dependency that keeps them from quitting, not the physical dependency.

source: watched every episode of intervention
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Old 02-01-2012, 01:53 AM   #17
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^ after seeing 1000 episodes of intervention, OP's friend sounds like a straight up loser with no back story. Atleast intervention picks people with backstory like rape or introduced to something etc. etc.
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Old 02-01-2012, 01:59 AM   #18
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yes its a mental dependency which I think is just as bad as a physical dependency. I've been to treatment before but not for marijuana. You can't help him if he doesn't beleive he's in the wrong. All you can do is hope that he will soon see his wrong doings and change his lifestyle. Which will probably be sooner than you think because he has no friends, unless he finds friends that smoke pot.
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Old 02-01-2012, 02:04 AM   #19
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Wtf lol ur friend sounds like a lazy fuck, the weed just makes him a lil lazier, I guess it depends on the person, I am quite active when I'm high LOL and I'm high like half my days
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Old 02-02-2012, 08:54 AM   #20
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Thanks for the comments everyone. I'm basically watching his life go to shit and he's just like "oh, better smoke more weed".

The MAIN thing he complains about is how his Mom bought his little sister a car, who has a 3.6 GPA and is going to University. And him...who does nothing and has never done anything, feels like he should get a car too.

ARG, stupid mother fucker. One of his other friends told him "I can't see you for a month" I laughed about that...his Mom has kicked him out, I gave it one last try last night to try and help him find a place but he didn't want it.

I've basically told him to fuck off and stay out of my life until he's not a fucking loser and wants to achieve ANYTHING in life.

Cheers people
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Old 02-02-2012, 12:22 PM   #21
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make your case if that fails drop him like a bad habit and let his bleeding heart mom take care of his broke ass
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Old 02-02-2012, 12:23 PM   #22
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I had some friends like this, maybe not to the same extreme, after I graduated highschool. We were going in completely opposite directions in life, and although I tried to stay friends with them for a little while, there were just too many differences. Sometimes you just have to move on and surround yourself with people who won't drag you down.
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Old 02-06-2012, 07:45 AM   #23
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Depends how good of a friend he is.

Would he do the same for you? If not, it may be time to move on.

You don't wanna confuse your "true friends" with mere acquaintances who are holding you back.

It's a harsh reality.. but there's the quote.. "you can't fly with chickens."
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Old 02-06-2012, 05:39 PM   #24
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why are you being such an asshole?

sit down and blaze with him like a true friend

im totally kidding btw, props to you for being able to say that to him. its not easy when its someone youve known for so long.
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Old 02-07-2012, 01:47 AM   #25
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walk away before he ask u for money, lets admit, we are dealing with reality
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