Okay, so I was following a link last night on that Russian meteor story, to a site called "Russian Machine Never Breaks" :lawl:... like most news sites, there's the usual links at the bottom to other articles, and this one caught my eye:
This Team is Really Bad: Pens beat Caps 5-2
Holy crap, this may be the funniest game review I've ever read! A few gems:
http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks...ne-607x454.jpg
(Caption: "The Washington Capitals (Photo credit: Malcolm Browne)")
"Hoo boy. The Pittburgh Penguins handed the Washington Capitals their rear-ends in a greasy Primanti Bros. bag."
"Mike Ribeiro chipped in a loose puck while Marc-Andre Fleury moaned like a beached whale after taking a blue-on-blue hit from Brooks Orpik."
"The Capitals took four consecutive penalties. The PK gave up 3 goals on 7 shots through a combination of bad defense and really bad defense."
http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks...ads/laptop.gif
"There is nothing sadder than the third period Caps. Utterly without life, they played a perfunctory game of clock-killing punctuated by moments of feeble rage."
"Goaltending is actual human feces. Neuvy was just north of .800 Sv% (two goals on 11 shots), and Holtby seems dedicated to convincing everyone that last spring was a fluke. WE GET IT, BRADEN– YOU’RE HUMAN. Even humans can put up a .940 Sv% every once in a while."
"That was the first regulation loss to the Penguins in Pittsburgh since 2007, when gas cost a buck thirty a gallon, people played “video games” on something called an Xbox 360, and Skrillex was just a guy cooking meth in a shed behind a Wawa.
Man, I don’t even know."
"See you on Saturday night, when the Capitals will lose to the Panthers."
:lawl:
