Feeling Lonely? You're not alone.
 

Vancouver Foundation study finds Lotusland a lonely, isolated place | Daily Brew - Yahoo! News Canada


Not surprising.

A few months ago I attended a lecture on

Epigenetics - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

done by some of the top researchers in their field. The Canadian government is putting a lot of money into this.

And they mentioned that if their research is right, there is actually a correlation how income levels and environment may explain why Vancouverites have a higher cortisol levels than other Canadians.

And on the note of loneliness.

Add me to that list.

It has a lot to do with the density of the city, how cliquey the city has gotten, and how unfriendly people have become when you want to introduce yourselves.

I've slowly been working on it, but I have such difficulty keeping in touch with people.

Being in college sure helped though. But my weekends are still pretty empty.

It also doesn't help with you get a reduction of hours and I just don't have the money to go out!

So what is it? Multiculturalism? Cliqiueness?

:alone:

:alonehappy:

Sorta true but at the same time, you have to be proactive about it. Vancouver isn't quite as welcoming as a lot of other places I've been.

For example, if I was never on RS, I would've never known SkinnyPupp, and in turn, I wouldn't know many of the internet and social media crowd here in Vancouver through our friends...maybe.

People that complain about lack of social interaction can't just expect people to get to know you if you don't take that first step yourself.

Ed you know me. I meet alot of "hongers" simply by the fact that I try to penetrate their culture and I get invited out.

Then they just sit there the whole night and speak cantonese.

I have RS so I will never feel lonley:alonehappy:

:alonehappy: checking in

:alone:

Yah, if you didn't grow up here it can be hard to make friends; close friends. I agree that at times it's not the friendliest place if you don't already have some sort of establish roots here.

I'm not sure how the survey was done, but it seems like there are contributing variables that may have been overlooked. For instance, Asian cultures really keep to themselves, regardless of what's happening around them. Someone could get hit by a car and people may just watch and drive on by.. Another factor may be related to the rate of crime in the city. The pot culture here is pretty renown; with every 4rd or 5th house on the block being a grow show, anyone who looks remotely shady, people may keep away from. I don't know man.. This is just my observation.. tons of things can contribute to not wanting to interact with other people.

Epigenetics is an interesting field of study. The classic view of genetics is deterministic; it tells us that you are born with certain traits from ma and pap, and as you grow you’re bound to these genetic traits for life. This is true for the most part, but for diseases for example, ADHD, schizophrenia, rheumatoid conditions, autoimmune conditions etc. are supposedly not genetically predetermined. Epi means on top of; so epigenetics tells us that it’s not solely our genes that have an effect on who we are, but a large contributor is the environmental factor (how we’re raised, where, so forth). I’m not surprised that any of these people would engage in antisocial behavior or suffer from depression after being here for a long time.

ADHD is genetic.

Unless I garbled my biochemistry horribly, my understanding of it is, you may carry the gene, but you may never develop actual ADHD disease.

:seriously:

Why would someone desire the city to have less wildlife?

The hill thing is pretty odd too...

ADHD is a disorder, not a disease. But you are right, although

It needs to effect various parts of your life like, work, relationships, school and finances.

ADHD is a disorder where the prefrontal cortex is shrunken and there is either a lack of dopamine to fill the receptors or a lack of receptors themselves.

I would say society as a whole can play more of a role attributing to ADHD with the advances in communications, internet, gaming etc, career choice, life circumstances etc.

ahh, sorry; disorder. It's funny you say that about society contributing to ADHD. We're living in one of the most intensely stimulating periods ever! You've got video games, tv, internet, smart phones, advertisements that tell kids how to look and feel. Expectations from your peers and family. How can kids these days not be distracted? Especially while these kids are in school listening to boring subjects!

I actually really agree.

But as an adult it changes. Imagine how bad impulsivity in terms of finances?

I got diagnosed when I was 25. After I read a few books on the subject from researchers, you begin to understand more and more of what it really is.

It's a very real thing, but it's so taboo, that it's hard for people to take seriously.

Then again, we push all mental disorders to the corner anyways.

Sorry but this is a silly study done by VF. I used to work there and we would get hundreds and hundreds of applications from various fields of interest asking for money to help out their non profit org. Even bursaries go a very long way especially for single parent students. These requests can range from a few hundred dollars to thousands, so any money disbursed still helps out these organizations.

Who cares if people are lonely, buck up and do something about it. Everyone's lonely every now and then. How weak are people??

^I don't understand what you are saying?

Your saying this is a non-profit that distrubutes money for various bursaries?

I have to say.. that's pretty freaking rude. Your "friends" should have the decency to speak in English and include you in the conversation. Especially if they are the ones who invited you to come out in the first place.

I come from Alberta so I can say that people here in general are a lot colder, self-centered and selfish. This isn't to say everyone is like this, but the general feeling I got was that people here are mainly concerned about themselves first. There are a lot of good people out there though, you just have to find ways to meet more of them.

Having lived here since '96, I have seen a lot and grown a lot. One of the first things I did was learn Cantonese so I could make some friends as well as learn my "native tongue". It's very true that you need to be willing to put yourself out there in order to meet more people. I think the key is to find good friends rather than build up a large group of acquaintances who don't really value you as a friend.

I'll put this out there too: I've met quite a few good friends just by using revscene. Some of these friends I have yet to meet in real life but you can tell by their character that they are the type of people you'd want as close friends.

And of course, many people are guilty of just being plain lazy and isolating themselves. On top of this, many new immigrants choose to stay within their group of immigrants and completely block out the rest of us.

ADD = Attention Deficit Disorder
ADHD = Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder

Attention Deficit = cannot keep focussed, as in attention span of a gnat.......

What do these things have to do with being lonely in Vancouver again?




I um............ haven't taken my Ritalin in..........I forget. I think each time I'm off the meds, I end up logging in to RS, LOLOLOLOL

I have noticed that most of the hk forums I go to have meetings all the time. Like at LEAST once a week. RS has a couple regular huge meets but that's about it. I don't know if it's a Vancouver thing, or the English language hk forums are filled with lonely foreigners.

That might be something to think about... I'm sure it wouldn't take too much effort to do little get togethers, where you just go out for dinner and or drinks.

Actually it reminds me of the old #hk+van IRC channel back in the late 90s. I met many people I am still friends with through those meets, including SG and my wife.

It makes you wonder if we have gotten that much more disconnected in just the last decade

^hk is much easier to meet up tho, more things to do

I find it much easier to meet up with people in hk than vancouver, here meeting up people is like organizing a bday party. HK is 'hey, its happy hour, wanna go for a drink'.

I'm not sure how to put this without it coming across poorly, but as a race, are Asian people generally speaking a bit cold?

In complete honesty, I don't find Abbotsford or Langley to be cold at all. On my morning walk people always say "morning" or "hello" and smile as we pass; the door is often held open for me, and when I reciprocate, I always hear "thanks." The exception to the friendliness seems to be with most Asian people, which I don't quite understand...

Oh, to add, I hope no one complaining about the lack of friendliness is walking around with an unfriendly scowl. I smile and a quick "hello" to a stranger is infectious :)

When I first joined, there were never informal meets, but lately people seem to be getting together multiple times a week for random quick get togethers. It's a nice change, step away from the computer screen and speak to people in person.

I completely agree with you about the asian part. I'm Asian myself and living in Vancouver I've definitely noticed it. I'm not saying this to any individual Asian.. but the general population in the lower mainland as a whole.. When I go to school.. or out.. If I walk by an Asian or brown girl and smile, they'll look away quickly.. White girls always smile back at me.. Asian guys or brown guys.. all think I'm staring them down.. white dudes usually smile and nod or say, 'what's up?' Maybe asian south asian cultures are more timid.. fuck i dunno..

I could talk to you for hours about my theory of the Asian "bubble" (which probably happens to anyone growing up in an extremely crowded place) but I find that once you break the ice, everyone is open and social as they're going to be.

It just spawned in the thread, but we were talking about epigenetics.