[Confidential] Ever yelled at your significant other in front of your friends?
 

The following is a confidential post. If the member would like to reply to any comments please PM me

Back story...
My gf has this problem (I don't want to say what it is). It isn't something huge, but it is something we have discussed on at least three occasions in a calm and civil environment. Each time I have expressed my concern in regards to the problem and each time she has acknowledged the problem and has vowed to try to fix it.

What happened.
Over the weekend I had some friends over at the house and the problem came up. I took her aside and in a calm cool manner called her out on it (in a completely different room). She persisted with the problem and I again called her out on it (now in a more condescending tone). She persisted. Then I lost it. I started yelling and getting pissed off. By this point my friends knew something was up. So essentially, I was yelling at her in front of all my friends.

Now, I feel pretty guilty about yelling at her, especially in front of my friends.. But, I honestly couldn't contain myself because she refused to fix the problem even after I calmly confronted her about it. Which is why I feel somewhat justified in publicly calling her out on it.

We haven't talked about it since (two days ago), but we have texted each other a bit. But, the texts were not related to the incident at all.

I'm just curious what your thoughts on this is?

unfortunately you're going to have to spill what the problem is in order to get proper advice.

Can't help unless we know what the thing is.

If its she slurps soup at a dinner party, then you are an asshole for yelling at her. If she has this pesky little habit of smoking meth in your friends bathroom, then she's kind of the asshole.

As a general rule, yelling at your gf in public makes you an asshole...it also makes you 'that' couple and way too much drama to invite next time.

what was the problem?

Honestly, if my bf did that to me...all hell would break loose. I am not one to get irrationally angry about things, but if you demean or talk to me in a condescending tone, I'll fucking cut you.

But really....we gotta know what the problem is, it could have been worthy of what you did. This shit needs to be talked out either way though...

Hey Doc, it hurts. I need some pills
>where does it hurt?
It hurts I need some pills.
>where does it hurt?
I dont want to say where it hurts, just bloody hurts and I need some pills.
>well here is some asprin

Confidential post, yet unwilling to go into specifics. Make up your mind!

But for now, let's just say you are the cause of all the problems. :)

to be honest, men are very logical and sometimes it works cause girls are more emotional and need a few hours / days ot think it over
HOWEVER, it's also an issue because men are very logical, that we're unwilling and unable to work things out in a non-logical manner that kills us.

Yeah I agree with everyone else. We need to know the problem in order to give decent responses.

Can we change this to "most" men instead? There's a lot of guys out there that are pretty irrational and illogical when the obvious thing to do is right in front of them.

But to the confidential post, since we don't know who you are, you might as well tell us what your girlfriend did, because like what everyone else has said, it can be either party's fault. But it's not cool to yell at her in front of your friends like that unless it was something major that needed to be done.

You realize we don't know who you or your gf are, right?

Spill it already.

This is probably the root of why your boyfriend would do such a thing in the first place. Just sayin'.

:squint: im watchin' u

Big talk.


Would you still act that way even if you were in the wrong? Even if you were out of line? Is there no justification for public scrutiny? Or maybe perhaps the exception only applies to women as men are "supposedly" obliged to chivalry?

I mean seriously?

Have you ever done something that pissed someone off? Made someone angry to the point where they lost patience? Or enough to have caused someone to act unbecoming of themselves?

Are you that perfect?



Yes, we all must exercise restraint. We all must strive to be the "better" person. But are we as imperfect human beings, sometimes deserve what we get? Or do you really just "fucking cut" anyone who has acted out against you?




So to relate to the OP: Just like everyone already has stated, it relate depends on why you had to "publically" call her out. Some actions don't warrant it, but there are actions where it may be an "understandable" reaction.

OP u better update this thread, im really anxious as to what the problem is. If I had to narrow it down, it's something she does where she occasionally belittles your comments. That shit can drive a man mad.

:thumbs:

Cool it off a couple days and then talk it over again. This time seriously for the last time and solve it to a point where its going to stop where the discussion ends. It's been too many occassions that this is happenning meaning you didn't solve the problem yet.

Just as everyone said as well but as per above is my suggestion

The following is a reply from the anonymous member

if like you said the problem is small, why get so worked up on it...

cant you just ignore her?

Is she dumb? If you told her many times about it and she agreed to fix it because she was wrong, then she should fix it. Repeating the mistake three times in one night? even when you gave her warning twice? That seems like retardation to me...

I wouldn't have yelled at her, but I don't blame you for losing your shit.

dude, what if she isn't even aware of the problem....of doesn't think it is a problem.

maybe the OP is flipping the table for no reason.

She should be aware of the problem. If she didn't think it was a problem then she had many opportunities to have an honest discussion with OP. Instead, she vows to fix it verbally but repeatedly acts the same (annoying) way.

The following is a reply from the anonymous member

Sorry for the delayed response.

We ended up talking about the whole situation last night. Like I mentioned earlier, I didn't want to get into the details of exactly what she did. She isn't disrespecting me. It's just a personal thing that we have discussed many times.

So I started off the conversation by apologizing for my actions. No matter what the problem is, I agree that I should have not yelled at her in front of my friends. That was just inappropriate. Though, I did make it clear that even though my actions were not appropriate, I couldn't guarantee it wouldn't happen again if she did the same thing again. If the problem happens again, I hope I can show some restraint and discuss the matter in a more appropriate environment. I want to be realistic though, I know it is possible I might have another outburst, but I hope I can contain myself if it does happen again.

I also asked her if no one was around would it be appropriate if I yelled at her the exact same way. She said that if there was no one around then yes my actions would have been justified. So I guess that means I am right and she is wrong?

The only thing that got me annoyed was that during the entire discussion she didn't even acknowledge what she did or take responsibility for it. Again, I had to bring up the problem and pretty much spell it out for her. Then she acknowledged the problem again and once again said she would try to fix the issue.
I actually thought she was just pretending to acknowledge the problem this whole time so I asked her about it. And she says that she is not pretending and she actually thinks there is a problem and she needs to work on fixing it. So who knows what's going to happen.

Anyway, thanks for the replies.

No one knows who you are... Spill it!! We're all eager to know what the problem is!!!

pointless thread is pointless

I bet it's like, leg shaking, chewing w/ mouth open or something along those lines.