Seeing girl/dinner with ex? advice??
 

Ok, so broke up with my girlfiend of 6 months about 1 month ago, few days ago she asked if I wanted to go for dinner on this coming thursday, I agreed with the intent of being friends or atleast trying, I had nothing else going on at the time.

Heres where I get lost, since I agreed to dinner with the ex I went for a walk and coffee with another girl, she acually initiated it and we had a great time, was hard to part ways that evening.

Now this is a small town and there lots of mutual connections and I'm not sure if going for dinner with the ex might be bad for future chances with the new girl.

Opinions?

2 things, first of all its surprising how quick things can happen with an ex when you see her again, you guys already have broken the ice months/years ago, know what each other like/want and have a comfort level unparalleled with others. if she invited you to dinner she obviously wants something, if you go for it its up to you of course.

ALWAYS mixing girls up like that is a bad call when people know people, no one keeps their mouth closed so assume one will find out, if one finds out how that will play out might be a bit of a mess and then both are gone.

lose one or lose both.

I don't think is an issue if you see your ex as a friend. You guys are both mature enough I assume. I seen my ex pretty reguarlly and we hung out like frds but we both know the boundaries so is all good.

In fact my ex always give honest options LOL which is great.

why did you break up with your ex?

Thanks for the advice, I think it's early enough that I can cancel dinner in a gentlemanly way.

I would say we just werent a good match, cummunication was bad and there was things she expected me to change even tho she wouldn't admit it ad alot of things claimed about her personality that I learned wherent true once I got to know her. So basicly once the honeymoon stage was over, eachothers imperfections came out and they wheren't the type that we each where comfortable with.

don't do it, cancel the dinner and be honest with her about why you cancelled

nabs got it exactly right. fuck the dinner its not worth potentially loosing two girls over.

*sigh. Common noob/RS mistake: Giving girls too much authority over oneself.

Do what you want. Whether that means going to dinner or not.


Now, if you're in a relationship, that changes things. But you're not. So you're allowed to socialize, you're allowed to play the field, you're allowed to test the waters. Secondly, she's unattached. So that means she may be doing (or experiencing) the same complications herself, unbeknownst to you; which at the moment she has every right to.


Don't already assume a relationship behaviour with someone well before a relationship even materializes. Only desperate guys fall into that trap. So all in all, I say "nay" in placing social restrictions on yourself atm. -espcially considering how early in the game you are with this new girl.

Id say forget the dinner with the ex. Being broken up with the ex for a month, then meeting for dinner will probably spark up on the spot emotion of your relationship and probably have a soft spot for her. Then as the above posts state you probably will end up losing both in the juggling act.

Been there. Done that.

I agree with Noir.. dinner is just dinner, and it's up to you.

If the new girl isn't in to you because you had dinner with a girl you went out with for 6 months, then you probably don't want her anyways.

dude, there is a reason she is you ex. keep it that way.

This has really helped me gain perspective, thank you everyone!!

I now feel I should cancel the dinner with the ex because I feel its not beneficial to moving forward, not because of the other girl at this point. Also for the ex's sake, she should be moving forward too, but since we have mutual friends we may still cross paths at social gatherings and such and from my point of view thats ok, hopefully she'll feel the same, but 1 on 1 might not be good idea anymore.

Well, ex was there on the wednesday night with a gathering of a bunch of mutual friends, and it wasn't wierd at all, so I decided to do dinner with her the thursday anyways, it was basicly just like hanging out with a good friend, ate, joked and got caught up on stuff and gossiped, no big deal.

Haven't hung out with the other girl again yet, not too sure about her thoughts about stuff anyways, just in for the ride lol.

So you basically came here asking for advice, then took none of it.

Bravo!
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:seriously: You must be bored.

im kind of late to this party but i'm gonna reply anyway.

the way i see it, all things are fair until it's locked down or you guys have had the conversation that you're only seeing each other? or at the very least, a mutual understanding albeit unspoken.

dinner is nothing and that walk/coffee was also nothing.

relax and do your thing buddy. you're single. you're allowed to do whatever the hell you want.

next post will be FWB related :failed:

please just use the search function

Fuck it, life's short, do what you want. If you want to go to dinner with the ex, then do it. If you end up banging and the new girl finds out and is not cool with it, find another girl. No need to explain.

On the other hand, I never really want to see the girls I dump again, no if it was me, I'd call off the dinner =P

I would have went if you didn't have the new girl. Things change and you shouldn't do it! Personally I never want to see the EX again
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Thanks guys, btw, the new girl turns out to be crazy, so thats over with.

New issue tho, I get a text from the ex goes like this...

ex- hey, how are you?

me- Good, How are you?

ex- I've been okay. Can I ask you something?

me- Sure

ex- Just out of curiosity, are you finding it easy to deal with the breakup? Like, it doesn't make you sad/upset, or you're not thinking about it, or anything like that?

I have been unable to answer that text for a couple days, no idea what to say? I did try a no contact thing for a couple weeks after the breakup to avoid questons like this, but it was impossible with how small this town/social circle etc is, so I resorted to just riding it out, but now this ugh.

inb4 "should i get back with my ex"
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No words to describe. Here's a picture! :D

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-19HiKdEGyg...00/tired-2.jpg

Should I go put on my hotdog flame suit and expect it to be well cooked
when this is done lol

I am far from the best with relationships so my questions might seem funny, but I'm not trolling lol

so...lets just summarize here:

You solicit RS for advice about having dinner with your ex. Everyone who responds shouts a resounding "NO" but you ignore the advice you were given and went ahead to have dinner with her thinking that we didn't know what we were talking about and you knew better. Now, everything we all said would happen has happened.

Congrats buddy!! I wouldn't suggest starting a new thread titled, "My ex wants to get back together. What should I do?" because you are clearly on your own path to life drama.

Enjoy the ride!

There's a good reason why your ex is your ex. Keep it that way.