Hard time meeting new people and making new friends. Advises?
 

So its finally hit me that I realise i do not have many friends in general. I only keep in contact with about 5 friends and that is all. The problem is that I work full time 12pm-8pm 7 days a week and after work, I have to take care of my mom and drive her around to do grocery shopping and deeds etc because I am the only one at home whos available at that time. My brother has moved out and my Dad travels around for business trips so I am the only one left to do these chores and run errands.

I have tried to keep in touch with my close friends from before but since everyone is working fulltime right now since they all graduated, everyone is busy therefore our friendship have kinda faded away.

My close friends are also not really outgoing therefore they don't go to house parties or host one making it hard for me also to meet new people. Everyone time I chill with them, its always 1 on 1 (no homo).

I have tried to be "better" friends with my outgoing but not "close" friends but due to us not being very close or know each other well, they also never invited me to their parties or gatherings...

So my question to RS is what can I do to meet new people and make new friends? because I find it really hard to do...

I would prefer to meet more male friends (no homo once again) because they are most likely to share the same interests as me and the reason I don't want to meet more female friends is that they tend to distance away once they get a BF or their friends gossiping about me trying to date them and all that BS

I hope its not too late to form my "circle of friends" (ones who can share laughter and help you out through rough times or be there when you need to talk)

About me:
-25 years old
-work full time
-chinese
-not really outgoing but I don't mind trying new things
-Busy schedule due to me having alot of responsibilities for the family
-middle class (not broke but not rich)
-male

mature responses please and feel free to PM me if its better for you !

thanks so much guys !

Go to RS meets. Srs. I've hung out with friends I met through RS more than the ones I've befriended in high school in the last few months.

After I graduated from high school last year, I found myself drifting apart from most of my then close friends which feels pretty shitty but that's life.
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There's that thing they always advertise on the radio for single people in Vancouver. Maybe try that?

does it work for people who don't want to get into a relationship and only want to meet new friends?

*not looking for a girlfriend btw

You're looking at this like someone who is searching for a gf.

The kind of friends you want are the ones you grew up with since kindegarden, went to the same elementary school, and kept in touch with in highschool.

You can still meet 'friends', but its hard to make that bond.

Focus on saving those friends, than looking for replacements.
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I have been to RS meets and people I meet there are only a once thing in which they never really call me out to chill etc after and the thing is people you don't really know who not want to waste their time chilling with their "new" friend (they don't have any incentive to do that since they have their own friends etc) which makes befriending someone really difficult these days....

i have tried to connect with my older back then "close" friends but since they all have fulltime jobs, GFs, and their other friends, its hard for me to maintain the friendship with them because everytime I call them, they always say they are busy etc

12-8pm, 7 days a week is tough. Go out and get drinks with colleagues after work? Sign up for a night class in something you're interested in?

after I get off, i also have to drive my mom around to do grocery shopping etc

I work alone therefore no co-workers

don't really have time for night class since most night classes start at 7pm and I don't get off till 8pm....

bingo, hence the old saying "make new friends, keep the old, some are silver and the others are gold"

so you call them and they're busy...thats what text tag is for! just keep texting them and having text convo's. during weekdays when everyones at work, me and a few friends from highschool have a group imessage chat...about 6 of us in it. even if i dont reply for a few days, i still read and stay in the loop as to whats going on and if they're going out. we dont see each other every day, sometimes not for a week or two..but we still talk.



but if your looking for new friends, ummmm, try plentyoffish.com? meet guys/girls...im sure theres a thousand others in the same situation as you in this city.

the job you have now, is it a lifetime job? or just one for the moment? if possible try to find a new job with better hours so you can get your life back?

LOL i don't even have 6 friends to imessage with...If i had those 6 friends to imessage with, i wouldn't be so worried about my current situation right now.

The highskool friends I still connect with are all from different friend circles therefore we always hang out 1 on 1 and not in a group.

Is plentyoffish.com local or what?

The Job I am working for is a family business therefore we work as a family and no co-workers. Its what brings in most of the family income therefore I have to stick to it. I've been working there for 10 years now....and its those businesses where you cant hire people to do because of lack of experience and customers are always looking to get help from us only and no one else. Really complicated business...

plentyoffish.com is a dating site, you can choose what your looking for on it, dating, friends, intimate encounters, hang outs..etc..

its a great site, ive met tons of women off there, my current gf is a girl i met off there over a year ago.

if you cant find any guys to hang out with, then this will at least give you a chance to talk with women and meet some of them to kill boring nights.

Hard to build a friendship without time. That's all I am going to say.
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That's not really true. I moved out of province when I was 19. Never went back. Am I just destined to be friendless?

There are just some people that don't have a large group of friends, that hang out in volume together. The Op is is a bit introverted, meaning he's not going to be the glue that holds a group together. Not an insult, its a fact.

High school and elementary school are A source for friendships, but its not THE source. You work with people and find connections, and people that think like you and you end up going out after work.

I think your problem is, you need to spread your wings a little bit and let your family out on their own.

And working 12-8 has got to be the worst shift. I'd do full-on night shift instead of the mid-day one. At least you get to sleep and have an evening.

You should try going to the smaller meets....food meets, coffee meets, social meets. A lot are organized on RS Chat so maybe think about talking to some people on there. I don't think any of them are long-term friends or have known each other for a long time. They are pretty open to 'new' people and a lot of their meets are after 8pm.

And, you mention that they 'never call you'...how about you calling them?

No, its never too late. Every job I've ever have, I always meet a friend or two. I just have a feeling the OP is looking for a 'bro' too hard.

Given with his schedule and dedication to the family business, its going to be really hard to spark a tight relationship with a group of people that will embrace him how he hopes they will.

Another suggestion: find a gf, and you can befriend her circle of friends
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come find us on RS chat we are always going out for late coffees to shoot the shit you(and others) are more than welcome to join! hell even go into chat and start an invite that's usually how it begins anyways.

Ill be your friend :fullofwin:

yes he's the caucasian guy driving the corrolla :suspicious:

Try and go to the gym before work. I'm sure you will find many people who work similar hours there.

Is your work/family business more important to you than your ability to make friends? Maybe you need to ask yourself why you're investing so much of your youth in this family business? Are you going to run it yourself someday? Your 20s are a time for risk-taking and personal growth. It seems that you're stuck in neutral and you lack a bit of confidence in yourself. As a Chinese guy myself, I understand the whole family loyalty thing, but it comes at the expense of self-development. What happens if the business goes down due to no fault of your own? What happens when you decide that you want to settle down and have a family? You need to have social skills and you need self-confidence when life throws a wrench at you.

My advice to you is that you start taking some risks. Cut back your hours at your family business (even if it's just 1 or 2 days a week) and find something or re-discover a long lost passion of yours. Maybe it's a sport, or maybe it's writing poetry. Once you do this, you'll develop more confidence in yourself and from there, you'll be able to put yourself out there.
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Go to a bar on the weekends and sit down at the bar you are bound to have a conversation with a couple of people and go from there.

IT'S A TARP!

You work a 56hr week? I just couldn't stop focusing on that. Maybe take a day off?
Even if you meet some RS friends or POF girls or whathave you, when do you expect to hangout with them?