Originally Posted by Glove (Post 8123257)

I honestly think its an asian thing. Thats the way her whole family communicated all the time, with silent treatments to eachother for months on end, they would never work it out because the person who brings it up is the one who "gives up the silent war"

Originally Posted by nns (Post 8123403)

You know I think you're right. My mom is one of those people who doesn't talk when something bothers her or she's upset at you. When I was a kid growing up, I remember I made her mad and she stopped talking to me for around 4 months. No exaggeration. She wouldn't talk to me. I didn't know what I did wrong. I was maybe 12 or 13 years old. She stopped talking to me, so I stopped talking to her. Silence. I was a kid, I didn't know how to handle it.

Because I grew up with this shitty impression of how to deal with problems, now I've adopted that shitty personality. I can't deal with my problems well. If someone bothers me, I won't talk to them.

Again, when I was younger, early teens I think, my sister and I had a disagreement. Some dumb shit. I wouldn't admit to being wrong, wouldn't talk to her about it either, and we didn't talk for around 6-7 years. It got a little bit better after about the 8th year or so. Still weird to talk to her these days.

I absolutely hate how I've become like this. My default reaction is silence. It's horrible. What's worse, I can't seem to change either. I can't get out of this instinctive reflex. I resent my mom for this.

Everyone, take it from me. If you have this silent treatment, please don't pass it on to your kids. Think of it as a disease. It's poison. Don't let someone else's life turn out like mine.

Originally Posted by Glove (Post 8123257)

the next girl I date i'd prefer if she threw plates at me, and atleast hash it out right there on the spot

Originally Posted by Glove (Post 8123257)

this just seems so fucking odd to me,

when im upset I know exactly whats making me upset, and I know exactly what resolution I require to make myself un-upset.

I dont understand why a woman would need time to think about why she's upset, if you dont know why your upset, then why the hell even be upset in the first place?

and then if you need time to think, it might be understandable if it was like 1 day to mull it over, but then why do chicks take a week to mull it over?

my now ex gf and i always had this problem, we could never communicate properly because our personalities clashed like this.

When she would get upset, and like you, not even know why she's upset, would give me the silent treatment for a week!

it got to the point where whenever I knew she was upset, i would just say "ok talk to you in a week" then just not give a shit until she was cooled down, and THEN i would always have to probe her as to why she was mad in the first fucking place, then she would blow up at me a week later anyway because it was all bottled up. Then I would always say, why the fuck couldnt we talk about it right away and not waste a week of our time?

what a fucking nightmare it was for me, the entire time.

the next girl I date i'd prefer if she threw plates at me, and atleast hash it out right there on the spot, rather than just go mia for weeks at a time in a hissy fit of rage.

I honestly think its an asian thing. Thats the way her whole family communicated all the time, with silent treatments to eachother for months on end, they would never work it out because the person who brings it up is the one who "gives up the silent war"

whereas me coming from a euro family, we always hashed shit out right on the spot, yelled at eachother and my mom would yank my ears n shit, she still does. But atleast when its over that shit is settled and we eat dinner together and talk about current events.

fuckin childish retarded silent treatments.

I need me a white chick

Originally Posted by blue_noise (Post 8114333)

personally i think silent treatment is just passive aggressive tactic. it is just as worse as someone who is bitching you out. so how to deal with it.

Originally Posted by nns (Post 8123403)

You know I think you're right. My mom is one of those people who doesn't talk when something bothers her or she's upset at you. When I was a kid growing up, I remember I made her mad and she stopped talking to me for around 4 months. No exaggeration. She wouldn't talk to me. I didn't know what I did wrong. I was maybe 12 or 13 years old. She stopped talking to me, so I stopped talking to her. Silence. I was a kid, I didn't know how to handle it.

Because I grew up with this shitty impression of how to deal with problems, now I've adopted that shitty personality. I can't deal with my problems well. If someone bothers me, I won't talk to them.

Again, when I was younger, early teens I think, my sister and I had a disagreement. Some dumb shit. I wouldn't admit to being wrong, wouldn't talk to her about it either, and we didn't talk for around 6-7 years. It got a little bit better after about the 8th year or so. Still weird to talk to her these days.

I absolutely hate how I've become like this. My default reaction is silence. It's horrible. What's worse, I can't seem to change either. I can't get out of this instinctive reflex. I resent my mom for this.

Everyone, take it from me. If you have this silent treatment, please don't pass it on to your kids. Think of it as a disease. It's poison. Don't let someone else's life turn out like mine.

Originally Posted by Noir (Post 8123489)

bro, I don't think reacting to a disagreement/argument with silence is necessarily what the bad thing is here.

I think what the bad thing is here is the quality that some people like to hang onto grudges for an unreasonably lengthy amount of time; like 4 months long or 6 years long. :fulloffuck:

(unless it's something big that you've done something that would change how others will look at you forever, that length of grudge holding is just wayyyyyyy beyond reasonable IMO).