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You know what? This question gets asked over and over and over and over and over again. I'm kind of sick of seeing this come up over and over again. I'm not saying I haven't asked this question. Hell, I used to be the poster-child for this question which is why I feel I have some good points to make for those caught up in this situation.
This will be a long post but I assure you it will give you the answers needed to put this question to rest once and for all.
It's really simple and I wish I knew this about 15 years ago. It would have made my life a whole lot easier.
The good news is that woman want men (well most of them do) and if you're a man you've already got 50% of the job done already. As for the other 50%, you can only control so much since different woman like different men. This brings me to the first point.
#1. No matter who you are, you will get rejected if you put yourself out there. Even the hottest, wealthiest, famous man will get rejected by even an average woman. Maybe that man is not her type or she's already in a relationship. Maybe she's a lesbo. There is NOTHING you can do to prevent rejection. Accept this. The sooner you know that you will never bat 100% is the sooner you are able to move on. Knowing that you can't bat 100% doesn't mean you sit around and do nothing.
Think of it this way. If you strike out 10 times and then on your 11th try you score a hit, all you're going to think about is the hit. Each time you strike out, learn from it. Each time you win, learn from it. Know that no matter what, you will never bat 100%. It's life. Too many younger people today have this massive fear of rejection and failure. I think they haven't heard no enough. You will hear no a lot more than yes so deal with it. That's life and life isn't going to change for you.
#2. Improve your odds with woman. Some universal things are to get in shape, be confident, dress nice and smell good. You don't have to be super good looking and you don't have to be super rich. Have a good personality and be yourself. Reality is some guys will get more girls just like some girls will get more guys. This doesn't mean you have no chances, just that you might have to take a few more shots.
If a pro Hockey player and I were to shoot on goal, the pro is going to have a higher hit rate. If I'm really bad, I might only have a 1% chance vs the pro's 30% chance. The fact of the matter is I can either improve my game, take more shots, or do both. Guess what? The more shots you take, the better you will get and the more you will eventually score.
This is why when you work on yourself, woman are more likely to come to you. There is nothing more attractive then someone that has their act together and can make things happen. Men and woman both admire that about people in general.
I think this is why people that are very successful in business (not just school) have a good chance of scoring with woman. They know that in business you're going to fail, you're going to take a lot of shots and get shot down but if you keep at it, you will eventually get somewhere.
So why are you in the friend zone? You want to blame everything but take a look at yourself. YOU are the reason you are in the friend zone. YOU let yourself be in that zone.
Here is what you do.
#1 Be straight up with them from the get-go and tell the girl your intentions. If she says no, she says no. What are you going to do cry about it? Fine, go home and cry. You're better off to go home and cry now rather than waste time with that girl. The longer you wait the more you build this girl to be something she isn't. She becomes this dream woman and if you get her you will eat her shit and let her piss on your face. This is what happens. You create this fantasy and go to bed fantasizing that you're together and her vagina is going to be something that is only told in fairy tales. No offense to the woman on here, but that just isn't reality.
#2 Learn how to read people a little. You don't always have to verbally say something but don't waste too much time either. You have to make it CLEAR what your intentions are and again be prepared for her to say no. Grab her hand, touch her kiss her, whatever. Hugs DO NOT count unless you're naked, but by that point I'd assume you're past the friends zone.
This being the nice guy card doesn't work because you're full of shit. Stop saying you're a nice guy because you're not. You're being this girl's friend and you clearly don't want to be. You create the situation you're in and so you have NO right to complain.
You're lying to her from the beginning. If she dates you she's now dating a liar. Guess what? I did this so I know. It doesn't mean you have to sleep with a girl on day one or even kiss her.
What it means is that I'm straight up with a girl from the first day. I will ask her out right away if I like her. I will ask for her number and be straight up "Lets go out this week". Obviously there is an art asking and I won't get into that here but be clear. Guess what? There is a good chance she might say no. If she says no, then whatever.
Next.
What's the big deal? I've been told no so many times I've lost count. I'm not super good looking or super rich. I'm pretty much an average guy but I've never had a problem getting a date because I'm not shy about being straight up. I haven't dated gross woman either. All of them have been decent. If I get to know them and I don't like them, then I move on. Who cares. Nice guys end up with whoever will say yes to them then they turn around and complain a year later that their girlfriend doesn't do this or that or they complain.
Hey man, you picked her, it's your problem. Should have picked up on the golddigger qualities early on and ditched her.
In the end, be a REAL nice guy. Be straight with people. Vancouver guys (yes I'm one of them) are such a bunch of babies for the most part. Be straight about your intentions and then from there let it develop naturally. I've actually made a move on a girl after 4 dates and she was kind of like 'whatever' so I was up front "Look if you're not feeling this just be straight with me."
She said I'd rather be friends. I said, "cool". Guess what? I'm friends with her and I'm actually friends with her. Whatever, not how I wanted it to turn out but not an issue. Onto the next.
Being a pussy won't get you pussy. Simple.
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![[Confidential] Avoiding the friend zone](https://www.revscene.net/forums/iconimages/relationship-gender-discussion-17/%5Bconfidential%5D-avoiding-friend-zone_ltr.gif)
" lol jk
