Has anybody ever done this?
 

So long story short, I found out my gf (well now ex gf) kinda cheated on me. So I was telling the story to one of my cousins and it turns out she knows him and is willing to set up a meeting for us to talk one on one. I'm not mad at him, I don't hate him, I just wanna get some stuff off my chest and tell him that she had a bf all along. I don't expect or want him to apologize to me, it's not his fault, he didn't know. Anybody done this before? Good idea or bad? Thanks.

Are you sure that he wasn't aware that she had a BF at the time?

what does "kinda cheated" mean

Don't do it....especially if he did not know she was attached. It is not worth it....trust me.

Same thing happened to me....I didn't meet her per se, but I eventually met her in a different situation. She had no clue about me....in a way, I felt bad for her.

Nothing that the guy will say will make you feel better. You will spend the entire time 'sizing him up' and picturing them fucking.

Drop the girl, let it go, and walk away with your head held high.

Get your cousin to tell him if it's simply to give him a heads up. No sane person would meet up with you without knowing your motives.

sounds like a bad idea, what do you hope to achieve from doing so? If you say he didn't know, why involve him in stuff he probably doesn't need to know and/or doesn't care about?

If you want to get stuff of your chest, shouldn't you have talked to your ex-gf?

Thanks to everybody who replied. I don't think I was ever gonna go thru with it anyways. I'm not really too sure what talking to him will achieve. Probably nothing. This was more of my cousins idea than mine. Just needed a second opinion from the good people of RS. Thanks
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What good could possibly come out of meeting him? At best, he didn't know you existed. At worst, he purposefully fucked your GF to piss you off.

So at best, what good could come of it? Nothing.

Get over it

I'm not gonna do it. But maybe I'm completely alone on this thinking. But if some guy came up to me and told me I stole his girl and fucked up his life for a bit, I wouldn't be mad at him for letting me know that my actions indirectly fucked someone over. But like I said, I'm not gonna confront him.
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I don't think you are alone in thinking this....it flashed in my mind too when my ex cheated. I think it is just apart of the emotions that you go through when your relationship comes to a crashing halt. It sucks.

I wanted to know EVERYTHING because not know almost made my thinking more crazy. How did it happening, what happened, what does she look like, why did he do it, etc....literally every detail I wanted to analyze. Those feelings soon faded when I realized it would not change the outcome.

Regardless, sorry to hear that your gf (ex) cheated....sucks to go through...

ive done it, who cares.

my ex cheated on me....the guy had a gf and knew i was with her to.

(this was a few years ago)

i ended up meeting him a few years later, he was on a date with a really good friend of mine. they did a few dates, we ended up doing a double date. the whole time i bit my lip and didnt say a word. once the date was over i flat out asked him why he did it. he had nothing to say...like a deer in headlights...needless to say, my friend told him to never talk or call or message her again.

he fucked up my relationship, i fucked up his. do i feel guilty? not at all, he sure the fuck didnt when he fucked up mine.

Had a similar experiences with few of my ex's.

Move on/don't bother just be glad you're not with that piece of shit.
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I'd be way more pissed at my ex than whoever guy she fucked, I'd want an explanation from her. She's the one who let him fuck her, why would he owe you an explanation?
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I wouldn't talk to them, like everyone above said, there is no point. It's happened to me and I've talked to the girl involved and she didn't know at the time, but once she knew, she was so into him that she didn't give a rats' ass about me.
Some people will feign sympathy like "OMG I HAD NO IDEA, ARE YOU OKAY??? WHAT AN ASSHOLE/BITCH/ETC!" then you find out later that they still continued contact with the cheater........ and ain't that a bitch.

The only real reason you want to do it is probably find some closure about the situation because maybe you feel like you didn't get that with your ex. You want to find a reasonable explanation for why this happened to you so you don't turn inward and somehow manage to blame it on yourself on a cold, dark lonely eve when you miss your ex.

Here's your closure, pal:

She (kinda) cheated on you because she doesn't care about you or your feelings. He let her do it (albeit may have been unknowingly) because he doesn't know you and therefore owes you nothing. Even if you did choose to speak to him, he doesn't have to explain himself to you. If she actually respected you, if she had an issue with your relationship, she would have communicated them to you before acting out. She makes bad choices in how to deal with her relationships. You don't need that in your life and are making a good choice in moving on.

Unless the guy is your friend or someone who knows you are going out with her.

Meet him and tell him to get tested for HIV!
:fullofwin:


On a serious note, I have met the 'other man' and it didn't do any good. You'll start to wonder what this dude has that you didn't or what you did wrong to have this happen. I don't see a positive coming out of it.

:denied: