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-   -   A rant on Pink Shirt Day (https://www.revscene.net/forums/681069-rant-pink-shirt-day.html)

Graeme S 02-28-2013 12:23 AM

A rant on Pink Shirt Day
 
Well, it's over now, and I probably should have posted this earlier on but I forgot.


I fucking hate Pink Shirt Day. I think it's just as stupid and ridiculous as Earth Day. What happens on this day? Everyone wears a pink shirt, says 'WE HATE BULLYING!' and then life goes on. But you know what? Nothing changes. Sure, we have people in pink shirts, but fuck all else. Except now, people feel like they've "done something" to change bullying. Like a day of so-called solidarity will change these bullies' lives forever, and help the bullied kids stand up.

Two years ago, I was at Park Royal meeting one of my students to tutor him. I walked past a small group of high school kids, and heard this gem:

Quote:

What's the matter, huh? Too cool for a pink shirt? Think it's too gay or something? what's the matter, don't think bullying matters enough?
The irony was lost on them, plainly, but not on me.


I was bullied throughout elementary and high school. Picked on, made fun of, and targeted for all sorts of things I was (or wasn't). And days like this were just more examples of days that I would get picked on for no reason. You know those 'theme' dress days most people had and enjoyed? Pyjama day, and so forth? Yeah. Misery. Dress up, get made fun of. Don't, get made fun of. And guess what--there's fuck all you can do to stop it.



I, for one, am sick and tired of people proclaiming that they are going to end bullying by doing things like pink shirt day and this bullshit 'report bullies online' website. You want to know how to end bullying? Get rid of zero tolerance. You know what teaches a bully not to fuck with a kid? A kid who punches the bully in the face when he's getting picked on. Even if it doesn't hurt, and even if the kid himself gets beat up, he's made a point. But you know what happens with zero tolerance?

The good kid who's getting picked on gets punished. He gets suspended. He gets a parent-teacher-administrator meeting where his parents make sure to tell the administrators that THEIR children should know better and that it will be certain to NEVER ever happen again.

And then the bully's parents come in and yell and scream at the teachers and administrators that their child would never do such a thing and that he was OBVIOUSLY provoked because that's what all his friends said and there's no way that THAT many children could be lying, so of course it was the good shy kid with the perfect record who decided to provoke the jock and punch him in the face for no reason.





Maybe I just find it frustrating because in my experience, the more people have paid attention to bullying, the more bullies could turn around and say that it's obvious they aren't bullies because they've been involved in organizing events that "promote togetherness" and raise awareness for bullying. So this is my $.05. Discuss.

Noir 02-28-2013 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graeme S (Post 8172150)
I fucking hate Pink Shirt Day. I think it's just as stupid and ridiculous as Earth Day. What happens on this day? Everyone wears a pink shirt, says 'WE HATE BULLYING!' and then life goes on. But you know what? Nothing changes. Sure, we have people in pink shirts, but fuck all else. Except now, people feel like they've "done something" to change bullying. Like a day of so-called solidarity will change these bullies' lives forever, and help the bullied kids stand up.

I liked your post because of this. I strongly agree with it. However the rest of your post was just plain bitter.

I understand it's a rant, I understand what you're trying to get at, and I understand where you're coming from though.

RevYouUp 02-28-2013 01:13 AM

LOL I was ranting to my friends about this the other day. Apparently, they're having a pink shirt day with food trucks up at the mountain at SFU. What a joke. How is bringing awareness to an university going to help with bullying. :fuckthatshit: Let's have a party with pretentious university kids wearing pink shirts and eating japadogs. They should just go to some ghetto highschool and bring some awareness there instead.

Verdasco 02-28-2013 01:17 AM

dude grow up, yes, this isn't going to stop bullying but it might prevent some others to stop and realize that it is completely wrong.

QQ crying i see in this thread really :/

dark0821 02-28-2013 01:18 AM

just read your post, thankfully though, I was enough to belong to a group to not get picked on by bullies, lol, even though your "buddy" does like to give you a jab here and there, and sometimes they do cross the line, once in a blue moon though.

I agree with you 100% about how pointless this pink shirt day is. It is exactly like "facebook" likes, its a way for people to feel like they've made a difference, theyve done something to help society. In reality, we all know how much they contributed.

I am not really sure how bullying can be cured, I think its just a way of society, i mean if we still have bullying @ our work place, what makes you think kids know any better. Ya, bullying with adults are a lot more discreet, but we all see it happen. there will always be that Jock that is out there to prove something, and there sure will always be that shy guy who is to scared to do anything about it, regardless if its talking to your principle, your supervisor or your couch. Because we are taught at a young age that ratting someone out gets you no where fast, and more often than not digs yourself a bigger hole. The only solution is either learn to endure, or man up.

Your principle, supervisor, couch, parent, surrey cousins isnt going to be by your side 24/7.

//end rant. I figured long and hard, and there is no perfect system to prevent bullying. Just my take =P

bcrdukes 02-28-2013 02:45 AM

:gay:

Vansterdam 02-28-2013 03:11 AM

:gayfight: :gayfight: :gayfight:
Posted via RS Mobile

gdoh 02-28-2013 06:05 AM

one of the guys i train with has his daughter in judo, she is only in elementary and she was being picked on, so she told her dad and he said to tell the teacher. She told the teacher more than once and nothing was done about it, so he finally told her that she is in judo for a reason and the next time the other girl picked on her that she should defend herself. So the next day she was being picked on again by the same girl so she got slammed to the ground and left gasping for air. With this No tolerance thing they were both sent to the office for punishment and my friend was told that his daughter would get an in school suspension, but he was having none of it and told them they had their chance to intervene but did nothing and for the time his daughter had the suspension he would be bringing her lunch or taking her out for lunch and would not be punished at home.

just thought id share =]

Soundy 02-28-2013 06:53 AM

^I wanna buy that dad a beer :fullofwin:

You know what, if someone wants to do the Pink Shirt Day thing to show their support, I'm all for that. You have to remember where this comes from: kid wears pink shirt to school, just because (maybe he liked the color, maybe it was the only clean shirt he had - don't know, doesn't matter), gets bullied because of it, couple of classmates defend him... next day they wear pink shirts too to show their support for the kid. I think this was a fantastic gesture.

But now that someone's turned it into a "movement", it's gone WAY over the top, and I think the original message has been lost. Did anyone catch the front page of yesterday's Province, claiming that some of the nastiest people were the "Anti-Bullying Activists"? Ties to a Jon Ferry op-ed piece: Jon Ferry: Is Pink Shirt Day doing more harm than good in battling bullying?

Of course, it also doesn't help that the term "bullying" itself has been mis-appropriated, mis-used, and outright abused by basically anyone who has to do something they don't want to, particularly anyone who doesn't like a new law or government decision talking about how the government is now "bullying" them.

Anyway...

MG1 02-28-2013 06:54 AM

Bullying isn't just limited to schools. It happens everywhere....... moreso with adults. Take a look at the shit that happens here, for example. It hurts young kids more, for sure, but how do we stop it?

The workplace is full of bullying. I see it all the time. You're either with the cool people or you're just left out. At my workplace, we try to include eveybody in everything. Some people like to be left alone and we respect that, but even with things in place to prevent shit from happening, it still does.

Bringing up the fact that bullying is not cool is a good strp, but we also need to teach people how to deal with the situation. Prevent, adjust, whatever.

Bullying has been around since the beginning of time. It's brutal in other countries, like Japan. I don't think the kids here would survive the shit that happens in other countries. Anyway, this is an awesome thread........... let's brainstorm and come up with a list of steps one can take to deal with bullying. Awareness is just one piece of the puzzle.

Soundy 02-28-2013 07:20 AM

Oh, and by the way... I'm sick of hearing about how the worst form is "cyber bullying". You know what? THIS IS THE EASIEST TYPE TO AVOID. Facebook has a "Block" function. So does Twitter. You have filters in your email - you can bitbucket anything a person sends you without ever seeing it. Got a smartphone? There are all kinds of apps to block calls and texts from certain numbers. Take a little PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY and you can shut it out all by yourself. It's the modern way of simply turning your back on a bully and just walking away... except it's a lot harder for them to follow you!

VRYALT3R3D 02-28-2013 07:29 AM

Some kids have been raised to be coddled and insular. This created a house of cards built on a shaky foundation that set up the kid to not be able to handle confrontation.

A lot of kids are pushed pretty hard, some don't know when to walk away and others just can't handle the confrontation once the safety net is gone and let the bullying to continue.

A friend of mine was bullied in high school, the teachers and other people in my class just passively sat back and watched it unfold without a single care in the world towards my friend. I stood up for him and hung with him in gr11 all year and shown him to just blow it off and don't take it too seriously. It worked.

"The world is not an evil place because of those who do evil, but rather because of those who sit back and let it happen."

-Albert Einstein

Gridlock 02-28-2013 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gdoh (Post 8172240)
one of the guys i train with has his daughter in judo, she is only in elementary and she was being picked on, so she told her dad and he said to tell the teacher. She told the teacher more than once and nothing was done about it, so he finally told her that she is in judo for a reason and the next time the other girl picked on her that she should defend herself. So the next day she was being picked on again by the same girl so she got slammed to the ground and left gasping for air. With this No tolerance thing they were both sent to the office for punishment and my friend was told that his daughter would get an in school suspension, but he was having none of it and told them they had their chance to intervene but did nothing and for the time his daughter had the suspension he would be bringing her lunch or taking her out for lunch and would not be punished at home.

just thought id share =]

This is fucking key.

Listen to the kids.

If a pink shirt isn't going to solve a problem-it won't, maybe, just maybe it keeps the concept a little more visible than normal. Maybe a few extra kids decide to say something as opposed to keeping it to themselves.

It may not be enough, but its a start. Kids are dying out there. Let's make it a topic that we can discuss. Let's make it a topic that kids can discuss...with teachers AND parents and have them listen.

This parent got it. It's the parental equivalent of saying, "yo bitch...you going to come at me again?"

Any time I hear "zero tolerance" policies of any kind, all you are doing is setting up a system that throws the baby out with the bath water. You get to sit there and say proudly, "we don't condone violence of any sort...look how progressive we are" and the kids get to be ignored in a brand new way when they stand up for themselves..and you know full well that the bullies are the first ones to cry foul when they get their own actions back-and fully expect her to be the one in trouble. And isn't that exactly what the kid would want in the first place?

I say good on this dad...he got it.

drunkrussian 02-28-2013 07:51 AM

we have this same fucking thread and discussion every year on here. Stop wasting ur time on rants and go do something about bullying instead if its such a deep cause for you
Posted via RS Mobile

Soundy 02-28-2013 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drunkrussian (Post 8172275)
we have this same fucking thread and discussion every year on here. Stop wasting ur time on rants and go do something about bullying instead if its such a deep cause for you
Posted via RS Mobile

You obviously haven't been actually reading this thread - it's not about "doing something about bullying", it's about the futility of "anti-bullying campaigns".

Soundy 02-28-2013 08:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gridlock (Post 8172263)
Any time I hear "zero tolerance" policies of any kind, all you are doing is setting up a system that throws the baby out with the bath water.

Bullying babies now, are we?? :troll:

inv4zn 02-28-2013 08:03 AM

I'm going to voice the opposition.

The pink shirt, or as mentioned - Earth Day - isn't meant to be a direct solution to bullying, or saving the environment.

It's meant to raise awareness, and that, it's doing pretty well. It may have not have any lasting impact in the short term for whatever cause it's trying to promote, but it's embedding itself in the minds of people who are exposed to it year after year.

Bullying stems from childhood, at least in my opinion. If a child is walking with his parents and he sees many people wearing pink shirts, the child will ask why they're wearing pink shirts. The parent should explain to the child the concept of bullying, and what s/he can do as a child to stop and prevent it.

Now, if the parent were to say "it's nothing but a superficial and useless show of face for people to pretend like they care", then they've done nothing to help the cause; in fact they've probably instilled the idea that they're parents don't care about bullying.

I'm not saying OP, or anyone who agrees with him, should support pink-shirt day or whatever. But I don't think there's really any reason to HATE it.

Also, there is in fact another way to stop bullying. It's to stand up for the kid being bullied. It's unfortunate OP was bullied through school, but it's my experience that that's the easiest way. Some of my friends were bullies. Teachers don't do fuck all, I agree. But a few friends and I told the bully friends to stop, and that surprisingly worked. Looking back, the bullies were children from broken homes who didn't have lunch and wore 3 t-shirts through the school-year. But who knows that when you're in grade 5.

My point is, wearing a pink-shirt isn't going to solve bullying. But it's part of a movement to at least try, and I don't think it's justified to rag on it so harshly as this thread is doing.

That being said, I whole-heartedly agree with this garbage zero-tolerance thing.

MG1 02-28-2013 08:03 AM

Like Soundy stated, cyber bullying is the easiest to deal with. Just turn the computer off and do something else. The bully and their entourage will move on to another victim.

Having said that, the problem with cyber bullying is that it carries over into school and escalates. So many stupid kids putting up pictures of themselves and their friends on the Internet. Saying really stupid stuff without thinking it through. So many of these kids have no freaking clue what a friend or friendship is about. They just see each other in public and hug like it's a really cool adult thing to do and live in a fantasy world. Drama queens everywhere. The more drama, the better........ kind of like what they see on TV.

drunkrussian 02-28-2013 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soundy (Post 8172278)
You obviously haven't been actually reading this thread - it's not about "doing something about bullying", it's about the futility of "anti-bullying campaigns".

I know. Every single year people make this same thread bitching about pink shirt day. It's pointless. Go do something instead. That was my message
Posted via RS Mobile

MG1 02-28-2013 08:43 AM

^so, how's bullying in mother Russia?

Is it a problem over there?

fsy82 02-28-2013 08:45 AM

I remember when I was in grade 3 my sister and I would walk home from school and these two brothers would always poke fun at us everyday. Being the quiet indian children we were we didnt know how to deal with it and it was horrifying. My uncle during that summer registered me with his son into Karate Class. The following fall when school started again so did the bullying. The last straw was when they grabbed my sisters back pack and threw it on the road. At the point I took matters into my own hands and gave the bully a good old ass kicking. From that day on he never bothered us again.

I understand the logic with the pink shirt day but sometimes more is needed to rectify the situation.

Soundy 02-28-2013 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inv4zn (Post 8172282)
The pink shirt, or as mentioned - Earth Day - isn't meant to be a direct solution to bullying, or saving the environment.

It's meant to raise awareness, and that, it's doing pretty well. It may have not have any lasting impact in the short term for whatever cause it's trying to promote, but it's embedding itself in the minds of people who are exposed to it year after year.

Yeah, problem is, as these things roll along, you also get more and more of the "activist" types on board, who gradually make themselves the "faces" of the movements, and generally act like bullying assholes themselves, thereby giving the whole concept a bad name.

Talking about bullying, saving the earth, etc. is a great thing... but when you create a "rallying point" like Earth Day or this pink shirt campaign, that attracts those looking for a cause - any cause - to jam down people's throats with an "if you're not for us you're against us" attitude.

Spoon 02-28-2013 08:54 AM

I bet if they made it a stat holiday, there would be a lot less bitching about having an XYZ Day. :troll:

SkinnyPupp 02-28-2013 09:03 AM

Haven't heard about this until now, but I agree it's just as stupid as earth hour and "boycotting" gas stations for a day.

Raising awareness against bullying is not a bad thing, but to really get to the heart of the matter, you need to get these kids dads to stop beating them up.

inv4zn 02-28-2013 09:36 AM

^Pretty distasteful generalization there.


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