Dude, If I got married at 21, I'd be divorced at 27. Instead, I went home, said I'm moving out and never looked back.

Really think through if this is the path you want to lock in to for life.

OP, i know a couple who have been together at the age of 16 and 21, still together and engaged (not yet married) 10+ years later. No need to rush things.

lol just do what you want bro.

just get married... everything everyone else mentioned will be the same if you decide to get married at 21 or 40.

and you always have the same option if it doesn't work out... get divorced.

it's not locked forever eternity like the ring you put on is cursed and cant be removed.

if it truly sucks and you made a mistake, you divorce.
if you're gonna get divorced now, you'd probably get divorced from the same girl when you're older too.

you don't know until you try, and it seems like you can't try with her cuz of traditions, so the only way to try is to get married. and if it fucks up, well it fucks up, what can ya do?

just do it better the next time.

This is more of a general reply; OP, I apologize if you feel offended or anything but this is not to insult you or anything.

I don't see the rush in marriage. Not just for the OP but the younger generations of today. I remember when I was 18 I always saw myself getting married at 24, having 2 kids by 28. I'm 26 now and all I can think is how stupid I was to give myself a timeline on something as big as marriage and I wouldn't mind the idea if we decided to get married later on (30s etc).

I mean, I get it. Highschool sweethearts/getting married at a young marriage exists and there are success... but how often does it really turn out in their favour? I think people have this mirage that marriage is all about loving one another and how love will win at the end of the day. AHHH, sunshine and rainbows la la la. True, love is part of it...but there are far more than just one factor that makes a relationship work.

For me, being in a long term relationship that has a 99.99% of marriage possibility..I'd have to be content with myself before even considering sharing half of myself with someone else. Where am I with my career? Where do I see myself 3/5/10 etc years from now? What do I like and don't like (in relationships whether it's with family/friends/men)? WHO AM I!??!?!

And lets be honest. Money is important. It can ruin a marriage and for some...make the marriage (gold-diggers). If you're not on the same page on something as big as this...it can be hard.

Finances, do you know how expensive it is to live in general? ~$35,000 is the average household income and using the "expenses" you mentioned...you want to propose, get married, go on a honeymoon, have a (what I assume to be a decent wedding), find a place to live, support your spouse while she finishes school and probably still live a life (having fun, eating out etc etc). You'll be debt before you even say "I do." (this is for the average person...if you're from a wealthy family or wealthy yourself..please disregard this)

Sure, a divorce can be had..but what a waste of time imo to go through the whole marriage process only to try to delete it from your life later on. My niece's parents are the prime example of acting on impulse and not figuring things out when they had the chance. But of course, to each their own.

Now this is for the OP:
At 21..how much of yourself do you really know? How much of your partner do you really know? Especially if you both have been together since you were kids?! Once people start entering the "adult" stage of their life..they start to figure out shit that they never once thought about.

No offense, but to have some of these expenses even listed assures you aren't ready for this step in your life. Not saying it won't happen...but lets be real here. If she IS the one, you can afford to wait a few more years. You'll be surprised how much a persons life can change within 5 years.

But if you do decide to take the plunge, I wish you both the best of luck.


Again, simply my $0.02.

lol.. at least live together first for 2-3 years

Do you or her have any religious beliefs of your own?

when it comes to the wedding, family comes first.
Friends come after and that is where you will have to figure out who are your really good friends. This where you will have to start crunching the numbers b/c you can't afford to invite everyone you know. Or can you?

On the radio they other day, they said in a recent study 8/10 couples who had a huge lavish wedding end up divorcing within 5 years of marriage due to the FINANCIAL STRUGGLES they put on themselves.

Don't know how accurate this really is..but food for thought.

Don't get married young.

I did and it fucked me up financially like you would not believe. Grey hair at 30 now.

Woman created marriage to fuck you up, and men keep falling for that shit. Just ask any man with money if it makes sense. Ask Tiger Woods. Even Trump airmails his woman after he's done with her.

Ironically, I will probably end up getting married again because life is fucked up like that.

I find it funny when people blame the idea of marriage for their failed marriage. If it failed its because it was with an incompatible person, or one of you fucked it up. Not because the prospect of marriage was built to fuck you over.

Did someone hold a fucking gun to your head and force you to get married or are you just bitter now because you made a mistake and need someone to blame other than yourself?

Either way, this is a HUGELY attractive quality you have that will no doubt help you in your future relationships. Any lady would be lucky to pay for the sins of her significant other's ex.

Being 30 one would think you would have reached a maturity level where you could reflect upon your past decisions with constructive criticisms and not bitter slagging words against women.

I would agree with not getting married while young.

However, I think men interested in settling with a woman for the long term should settle with one that is their equal in terms of intelligence, wealth, social status, and capacity for future financial and personal growth. I think the problem with a lot of men these days is that they settle for women who might look good and be good in the sack, but lack the qualities that are really important over the long term.

if u get married, half ur shit is hers after u get divorced.
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dude...only works on stuff purchased together. and, its the same if you live together for 6 months....don't need to put a ring on it to get fucked.

It depends on the province as well.

Different provinces have different divorce laws.

When I read the above post about the 6 months common law issue... I was having doubts, so ...

I googled, and found that it is actually 2 years, not 6 months:

Common-law couples as good as married in B.C. - British Columbia - CBC News

As they say, you're betting 50% of your assets that you will be happy forever.

I've been in an 11-year relationship. I obviously haven't been ready to get married through my early, mid or late 20s, but it's all your call. Either way, it is a bit of a leap of faith.

Everyone is right about common-law relationships, however. The new Family Relations Act divvies it up 50/50 after two years. Plus, at common law, there's such a thing as an unjust enrichment claim, but that's for another forum.

You are way too young to get married

A lot of couples I know that married young are all divorced. You havent even fully experienced life yet. Not even a fraction of it.

Theres so much that can change over the next few years. Ive changed and grown so much since I was 21, the girl I dated then, looking back is someone that I would totally not date now.

youre still kids...Travel, Pursue your Careers, Live life....dont rush it!