[Confidential] Cosigning a loan for a GF
 

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Here is my situation. I had a long term relationship with my GF for over 9 years. She went to school in the States for the past 4 years to get a doctorate degree. Her family lets say isn't the brightest when it comes to investments and handling money. It's not that they are poor, it's just that they made many mistakes that would make you shake your head. Anyway, my plan was to eventually marry this girl and we both had our timelines in sync that after she graduated and came back we would marry.

I'm not the wealthiest individual myself, but my credit rating is excellent and I am financially stable. It came to a point that her student loans were being maxed out and she needed a co-signer for more loans to finish school. Her parents weren't getting approved because of their previous financial histories, she herself didn't have much of a credit rating herself to get approval. When her and her family approached me to co-sign her loan I obliged happily. When it came time to figure out the amount they were asking for me to sign for a ridiculous amount, let's say over 50% of what she actually needed to finish school. The sum that I signed for is still a hefty amount.

Lets fast forward now, even though she would come back and visit, and I would visit her, the long distance relationship was working. Or so I thought. I found out after she graduated that she ended up cheating on me with a classmate for a couple years. She strung me along all that time just for financial gain and to pay off her tuition. I initiated a clean breakup and I've been only emailing her asking her to get someone else to replace my name on the co-sign for the loan. She is now working full time for a year and has the means of even putting her name on it. I always got the bullshit response of "Oh we can't find anyone"

A year has passed, and now I can't even recall the last time I asked to get my name taken off. I want to clear myself from this situation so I can put everything behind me. I hear from friends of friends of bone head moves she's making with her and her families money. Some examples are, participating in pyramid schemes to get rich quick. It angers me that I find out she's throwing money away when she can pay off the loan.

I'm looking for advice here on what I can do, now that it's been a year is there any legal action I can take? I want to resolve this situation soon.

wow dude..... what a bitch

you signed your life away.

GG HF

ouch.

get her to sign a paper that excludes you from any liability arising from non payment of the loan and send it to the bank. might work might not. worth a shot.

You cosigned the loan willingly, a court isn't going to cancel that for you because you have cosigner's regret.

I don't think the bank will just remove your name unless there is someone who can replace you or somehow your ex's credit rating has gone up.

The best thing to do is to get her to pay off the loan or get someone else to assume your liability or get her to refinance the loan.

you can't do a god damn thing. trust me.

you are fucked until she pays. congrats on making a decision based on love.

this is coming from someone who FINALLY convinced their ex to pay off a joint bank account in overdraft.

never will i ever sign or co-sign anything until i am married and even then it needs to be something good....i suggest you start thinking the same way

I don't get how u could co-sign with a gf. Would make sense if you were engaged or something but a gf... SMH. The courts won't protect you for being stupid.

its hard to judge unless you have been there....9 years is a long time. mine was 9 years until he cheated out of nowhere. you don't expect shit to go down after that length of time.

also, bitches will be bitches.

you got played.

advice: you better make sure your future wife signs a prenup.

No advice here but I think I just learnt a very important life lesson. Unfortunately at OP's expense.

GL

not to school you on co-signing, but when you do it, its literally your debt. you should have asked yourself if you were/willing/can pay it off all on your own with or without your SO's help. i understand 9 years is a long time and you had trust, but its always safe to think a bit more selfishly. think of extreme ends.

the better question is, does she already have the full amount that you co-signed for? or is there some sort of cash flow left that you can stop and just use what you have left to pay off some of the debt back.

what. the. fuck....

Seems like the worse situation ever, I dont know what I would do.

But thanks for the heads up for situations like this, never fucking co signing a large amount of money to any gf or wife NO MATTER WHAT!

+1 Never ever co-sign anything in your life unless is family (even then it depends on the relations).

I personally will never co-sign just for a gf, maybe my wife but then at that point the relation is establish.

O and you just sign your life away unless she starts paying or is willingly to pay, be prepare to clean up her mess.

Unfortunately, the OP is completely screwed as many have mentioned.

He should have seen the red flags from a mile away ...

- Long distance relationship
- GF piling up debt
- Family has poor financial history
- Asked by her AND HER FAMILY to co-sign the loan
- Loan was well in excess of what she needed

I know some kids are not like the rest of their family, but most are. If her family is chalk full of people who are stupid with money, the smart bet is to assume she's stupid with money, too.

you are probably better off talking to a lawyer and see if there is anything that can be done since you have evidence (i hope) of her just recklessly spending her income when she could pay off the loan and explain the situation of how you were pressured into signing the contract and all that.

In my eyes, co-signing is the legal word meaning "I will unconditionally clean up this person's mess," so unfortunately OP is most likely SOL. I personally try to never lend anything out I can't afford to/are unwilling to lose except to (most) family.
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and you said she is a bone head? :derp:

Are you srs? this is the worst advice I have ever seen....yeah OP, go waste your time and money seeking out a lawyer who will sit down and look at your case (p.s. you won't find one). Then, spend time collecting "evidence" that she is spending money.

Pressured?? What, was there a gun to the OP's head?? The only pressure he had was wanting to get laid that night, ffs.

This is retarded.

You can't do anything. Trust me. The banks don't care about the story...they car about the money. They don't care who it comes.

As I said before, take this as a life lesson. Cross your fingers she pays and move on.

the first sign is the family not supporting their own daughter. there has to be someone, some relative that is able to co-sign.... never a bf.

what about taking her to be on Judge Judy? :badpokerface:

OP, your situation is such a tragedy.

I really hope there is a silver lining for you.

sorry you're SOL
trust no one but yourself when it comes to big financial decisions unless it's your immediate family
a good friend/gf/bf in need of a couple of hundred dollars for emergency sure okay but I would never co-sign.

I think she will not signed any paper for you that increase her liability because she is already in trouble but you can consult with a solicitor that will give you a good advice that what to do in this situation to get rid from that case according to your state laws.

Holy. Shit.

Came in here thinking OP was THINKING of co-signing. This just... wow.

I don't even... know what to say.

That is one messed up situation.

Based on the information given.. I think I'd go to her family and explain to them what's happening. It's a bit of a dick move on the surface, but if I put my neck on the line for a girl, and she cheats on me and lives lavishly like a moron when she should be paying off a debt, then she doesn't deserve any respect or sympathy.

But legally... You're outta luck, brother. Very, very, unfortunate situation. God damn, just reading that got me stressed.