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Relationship & Gender DiscussionTHIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE! The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...
I could understand if she didn't have dogs, but that double standard is just stupid.
I'd probably let it pass, but next time your at her house, and her dogs jump all over you. I'd act the same way she did. It might seem immature but it could also put into perspective how stupid she was acting and she might smarten up.
Just never forget:
Spoiler!
And that you did nothing wrong here.
not worth my time to make another argument out of something that I find so stupidly ridiculous and absurd. if her dogs wake me up, big deal, its annoying, but ill fall back asleep within 3 minutes. no need to stir the pot.
I talked to her this morning, told her that my dogs couldn't be the only reason for her to get that upset, so I told her to text me EVERYTHING that's been bugging her about me so I can see things from her point of view, and so I can improve things on my end, pick up my own slack that I don't realise is even there since im so comfortable with her.
she gave me a few paragraphs, the main problem from her is that she bottles shit up for so long to the point where one small thing will make her crash and act like a tool, so I made sure to tell her to quit fucking bottling shit up and call me out on things as they happen. she asked me to do the same for her...so I sent her a few paragraphs as well. all should be good, we've both got shit ot work on I guess lol
__________________ There's a phallic symbol infront of my car
Quote:
MG1: in fact, a new term needs to make its way into the American dictionary. Trump............ he's such a "Trump" = ultimate insult. Like, "yray, you're such a trump."
bcrdukes yray fucked bcrdukes up the nose
dapperfied yraisis
dapperfied yray so waisis
FastAnna you literally talk out your ass
FastAnna i really cant
FastAnna yray i cant stand you
Lol I saw that on the chive this morning!!! Was tempted to send her some of those pictures/put a few up in the fucked up shit thread Posted via RS Mobile
Dude no matter what anyone says honestly it doesn't make a difference. You have to compromise no matter what, I've grown to learn that. Arguing just makes it worse, even if you are right, she'll NEVER admit it. If I were in your shoes I would have suggested something like, "You're right my dog is still young and not trained very well, maybe your mom can give me some suggestions?"
By saying that you're steering the conversation away form the conflict, while finding a resolution. Then you must carefully continue to steer away from the conversation until you find something else to argue about, then repeat. Such is life.
I always argue with my GF when I'm away, and it's usually always dumb. We seldom argue when I'm here because I can usually avoid conflict by foreshadowing what's going to happen lol
give her a big hug, tell her you love her and it was your mistake to argue...tell her it happens and you will do your best to keep the dog away from her but you can't guarantee it.
Dude no matter what anyone says honestly it doesn't make a difference. You have to compromise no matter what, I've grown to learn that. Arguing just makes it worse, even if you are right, she'll NEVER admit it. If I were in your shoes I would have suggested something like, "You're right my dog is still young and not trained very well, maybe your mom can give me some suggestions?"
By saying that you're steering the conversation away form the conflict, while finding a resolution. Then you must carefully continue to steer away from the conversation until you find something else to argue about, then repeat. Such is life.
I always argue with my GF when I'm away, and it's usually always dumb. We seldom argue when I'm here because I can usually avoid conflict by foreshadowing what's going to happen lol
What I said lol.
I don't have a GF and yet I've learned all this from dealing with the women at my work. Little shit, just nod your head and move along.
But if it's something big, and you as the man need to take charge and make decisions, arguing will be worth it. Remember the two differences between men and women. One, women have a time of the month where they'll feel super uncomfortable that we'll never understand. Two, they have to give birth to our child, which is a pain I can for sure say that, none of us men can handle.
few pics from the chive today that I thought should be in here
Spoiler!
this one I can relate to lol, she gets mad at me for something REALLY small, and she goes quiet, so I stay quiet ignoring her and read the news on my phone...after 20 minutes she brings up why I haven't tried to ask her whats wrong about what I did lol
at this point she would have crossed the line for me already.
crying over this? WHAT?
she is clearly unable to see both sides of the story and is judging the scenario purely based on her own feelings.
you have to find a way to show her your side of the story. not just say it.
next time you're over at her place and her dogs do the same, you don't have to throw a hissy fit and be a bitch like her to show her... but you can kinda playfully go ... *nudge nudge nudge* see... look. dogs. on. bed. early. morning.
kinda get my drift? if all she can do is giggle about it and then go on. then you have to step it up and be more firm and show that you're serious.
you're letting her be a little whiny girl and letting her "win" when she has no grounds at all to even act like that.
in short dude... you're being a doormat almost.
when you argued with her in the car and she "almost started to cry" you should NOT have apologized. that only gives her more power and authority over you.
you should have stood your ground and let her fucking cry. just shake your head and shrug your shoulders. or you can just be a little girl and bitch about it next time it happens to you although i don't think that would help (unless it's carefully constructed so that the point gets across to her, a lesson).
you should NEVER fucking apologize for something that is CLEARLY not your fault.
another thing is, you should have never let the dogs in. there's a pattern of behaviour in you.
you're a doormat to her feelings and you're a doormat to your dogs feelings. you're letting them "win" in every situation even though they're wrong.
you know how they train dogs right?
humans are also mammals, they are "trained" the same way. you keep positive reinforcement when they slip up, they're gonna do more of it.
you have to train her the same way. don't give her any slack when it comes to this shit. you have to show her you're fucking serious and if things continue this way, it may not work out.
a man has to stand tall and hold his ground. it's all he has.
NEVER let a dogs whining destroy your intent. never cave in to their "needs" if it's a behavioural problem.
NEVER let a woman's tears control you (unless it really is your fault).
it's the same. they will never learn and you'll be stuck in the same cyclical pattern of negative interactions and behaviours.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mr_chin
On the GF's case, maybe you two should work something out like, training your dogs together. Making a commitment to get them to be obedient.
On your dog's case, maybe you should cut down on the days he sleeps with you, or don't let him sleep with you at all as this may continue to spoil him or getting in the habit of. I'm saying this even if you have or not have a GF.
i'm gonna have to agree with this.
I mean your gf's parents are dog trainers... lol what the fuck, shouldnt your dog be trained by them? it's almost like a no brainer to me. your dogs by default should be trained by her parents if they accept you as her bf right?
you guys should train them together.
and remember a dog is a dog. they've been domesticated for like 15 000 - 30 000 years. you CAN ignore their childish needs and they will learn that they can't just whine and scratch and get what they want. They're DOGS. they're soldiers. you bend their will to your liking through positive reinforcement.
right now you're being the dog. your dog is bending you. your dog is domesticating you (so is your gf).
I duno, from the info you have provided, she sounds very immature and well... her own selfish feelings control her actions.
If i were a parent and i saw my kid do that, they'd get a backhand to the face and a long lecture.
Last edited by Ulic Qel-Droma; 07-22-2013 at 06:14 PM.
^ her parents are divorced, just the mom used to be a dog trainer like 20 years ago.
id love to have her mom help train my dog, but she lives an hour away and works crazy hours to keep her nice house with all her nice toys that go along with it lol. I only see her mom on Friday nights for a few hours, and Saturdays.
I didn't exactly apologize to her, at most I said "im sorry but im not trying to make you mad".
I didn't want to let my dogs in, but if I didn't, my doors would be destroyed, which is why when nobodys home, hes gotta go in a kennel. my parents wouldn't hear him scratching, and if they did, all they would do is make him leave the area, and 2 minutes later he'd be right back wanting in.
I don't think im being a doormat, she knows she can try to pull fast ones on me, but in the end its always her who's the one who caves.
oh well though lol, to me this is just a pebble on the road, not even a speed bump.
^ her parents are divorced, just the mom used to be a dog trainer like 20 years ago.
id love to have her mom help train my dog, but she lives an hour away and works crazy hours to keep her nice house with all her nice toys that go along with it lol. I only see her mom on Friday nights for a few hours, and Saturdays.
I didn't exactly apologize to her, at most I said "im sorry but im not trying to make you mad".
I didn't want to let my dogs in, but if I didn't, my doors would be destroyed, which is why when nobodys home, hes gotta go in a kennel. my parents wouldn't hear him scratching, and if they did, all they would do is make him leave the area, and 2 minutes later he'd be right back wanting in.
I don't think im being a doormat, she knows she can try to pull fast ones on me, but in the end its always her who's the one who caves.
oh well though lol, to me this is just a pebble on the road, not even a speed bump.
well sounds like her mom is really busy and you'd probably only get to ask her for advice once in a while.
and it sounds like your dog isn't well trained enough to be able to him roam free (or the fact that he's young). I dunno man. maybe you just gotta keep him in a kennel.
either way, it doesn't matter what I said, and it doesn't matter what you did.
the reason you posted this is cuz she's being stupid over something really small for whatever reason or mentality/perception she has.
all you gotta ask yourself is this... is there anything you can do to make her change? does she want to change? is there anything anyone can do to get her to change?
do you want her to change?
if she doesn't change is this relationship sustainable? even if it's a pebble on the road... how many pebbles can you deal with before your shoes get fucked up and you have to start using your feet. then how many pebbles can you stand till your feet are fucked?
is this something you wanna deal with on a regular basis? if you get married... for the rest of your life? (assuming she doesn't change and you don't divorce)
lol obviously you are looking for a way to deal with this, preferably not just some temporary band aid right?
i duno man. you gotta think about the balance of how much you're willing to deal with this, and if she's willing/wanting to change... how hard that's gonna be, and if it's going to be worth it.
if you keep doing the same thing, if she keeps doing the same thing... nothing will ever change. you'll be walking on pebbles forever.
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