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exploration03 · 09-11-2013, 11:04 PM

I always love getting RS opinions on the most randomest problems so here's one:

I'm coaching in a league of women's volleyball. Ages 16+. This league had started since April and because we won both major tournaments we have advanced to nationals. The team is a close knitted team, friends and some are sisters.

So the problems lies not in the team itself but the coaching staff. I was given the previlage to coach so I took it. I had my own basketball league on the side that I also focus on. Now there are times when schedules would clash and I couldn't make it to practice so I delegated a long term acquaintance, someone I used to play volleyball with awhile ago to help me. He did that and more. He showed up. He was proactive with leading and setting up practices. He organized acitivites within the team and pretty much devoted his time for the team. He did everything outside of games to ensure everything went smoothly. I however made sure we won ever games by leading the charge during games. planning the plays and lay outs and taking ownership if we ever were down. I've coached a ton of teams in the past men and women's of all ages and was offered by a high school to pursue a coaching career with their help financially which I turned down. I didn't want to make it a living, was just a hobby.

Anyway were preparing for nationals now which means we are recruiting more girls. To cut to the chase, he wants to lead the recruiting and wants to make major decisions. He even made decisions without me lately that affected our plans. Over the last few days we've been trying to figure out how to resolve the responsibility issues and who is who. He came up with let's make the girls decide and I thought that was a great idea. What bothered me is how confident he was lol. In either case, the girls got the news and needless to say they all started fighting and arguing on who to choose. To me that a big no no, arguing within a team. My problem is how do I approach this without looking like a coward or a selfish prick.

I believe the voting was simple and was supposed to be anonymous but ended up being completely the opposite. It went as far as players texting me asking why we figured this was a good idea. Lol. Anyway I dint want to influence anyone's decision, I let them know it's a mutual decision that needed to be dealt with between the coaches to make sure we stay efficient. Currently all the girls are apparently pissed at each other and no one's talking. Decision is supposed to be made by this Friday as official practice begins this saturday for Nationals.

My beef is how the hell does.this guy come in and just try to replace me. We have 2 completely diff. Coaching styles and whatever we were doing was working hence why we are here. He decides and organizes practices, communicate to the girls and I let him do what he wants. Game time I take over and he shuts up. Simple. It works! I'm not gonna get into what I think good coaching is but I've heard him talk to the team during games and he lacks a certain motivational aspect of coaching and I really just don't have confidence in his coaching skills. He wants a bigger part it seems and feels he can do both and how he's learned a lot from observing. Did I mention winner of Nationals gets a free airfare and accommodations for the whole team and 1 coach to our international tournament next year? Maybe that's why? Secondly. I thought this whole time the girls were clear on who the head coach was and assistant but this voting thing sounds like it's more of a split. Is it normal that it bothers me that at least one girl on that team believes this assistant is a better coach than me even if I repeatedly coached them to 2 major tournaments as champions while the previous years they weren't even on the map.

I initially agreed to do this voting to put him in his place without being the one to do it but it's created a whole new issue for me. My wife is a good friend of one of the players and she thinks these girls are upset about choosing and hurting the others feelings. That girls are sensitive and emotional and blah blah. I know this! But as a team you need to learn to think as one and make a decision. They're not demonstrating that very well right now. I contemplated about ending this voting and letting this guy coach and see where it leads them. I coach because I love winning and seeing other players win. My coaching style had to be mutual and if some of these girls don't feel I stand out as the main coach the doesn't that raise a concern for me and my approach? Let's be real, I'm not 16 and I can take criticism and advices. Give it to me straight, I wanna know how you guys make our of this situation before I approach it.

Forgive my spelling and grammar. It's late. I'm tired and in doing this on a Z10 keyboard.
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bballguy · 09-11-2013, 11:15 PM

Are you shitting me? You put it in the girls hands to make the decision as to who gets to make the decisions? This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard and I find it hard to believe that you have coached for so long....I honestly have never come across anything more idiotic from a coaching standpoint than this in all my years of coaching, playing, or simply spectating any sport....Sounds like you should be going to P.E. classes as these girls' classmates rather than trying to coach them....

Spoon · 09-11-2013, 11:20 PM

If your best interest is for the team to win, the two of you should just find replacements. You're both responsible for splitting the room.

Whoever wins the vote doesn't even matter. Half the team won't even listen anymore.

exploration03 · 09-11-2013, 11:27 PM

Rough but I get it. I don't know why I agreed to this to begin with but let's face the fact that it's done and mistakes were made. How can this be approached.

Let's keep in mind that between me and this assistant. We had a mutual agreement to continue to support each other regardless the turn out but we needed a solid way to choose one over the other. We have a lot of recruiting to do and his idea of players are not within my expectations. In short the head coach gets to make that decision without the other questioning them. If you're asking, why not ask management or other staff to make that decision instead of the team. Well they won't and they don't care.
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exploration03 · 09-11-2013, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bballguy

Are you shitting me? You put it in the girls hands to make the decision as to who gets to make the decisions? This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard and I find it hard to believe that you have coached for so long....I honestly have never come across anything more idiotic from a coaching standpoint than this in all my years of coaching, playing, or simply spectating any sport....Sounds like you should be going to P.E. classes as these girls' classmates rather than trying to coach them....

Lol I love it. Exactly what I needed to hear. Question though. Why wouldn't the players who are the front line get to choose who they want coaching them going forward. Why do you think it was such an idiotic idea. Is it BC they Are girls or that they are immature in your opinion. I get its stupid in your terms but you never explained why.
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Nlkko · 09-12-2013, 12:07 AM

Although you want to get the team to think for themselves, the head coach is the only one calling the shots.

So what to do? Start calling the shots. Put your big swinging dick on the table and purge the shit disturbers. Show the assistant guy the door. You sound like you have lots of confidence in your abilities, why are you scared now? Enough of the kumbaya shits, mate.

Traum · 09-12-2013, 12:43 AM

Agreeing to letting the girls vote was definitely a bad move. This is a sports teams, not a democracy. The thing to focus on right now is how to move on and get back to business.

By now, I think it is too late to back out of the voting fiasco -- with the genie already out of the bottle, you'd be eating your words if you try to back out on it, and that would completely destroy whatever trust and respect your players have left for you as their head coach. So whatever you do, do not attempt to back out on the voting now.

Good luck with the situation.

exploration03 · 09-12-2013, 06:03 AM

You have no idea how badly I wanted to kick him to the curb but the deal is he has also found a spot in the team. He's organized and helped them and as much as I'd like to be the big boy and handle business its going to make me look like an ass if he gets thrown out. I needed a way to make it legitimate and fair.

Good advice Traum. Definitely won't be backing out of the vote.
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