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Old 09-17-2014, 11:00 AM   #1
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Domestic Violence

In light of the recent stories in the news, I thought it's high time we started a thread about this very important issue.

RS, being made up of mostly males, we should address the issues surrounding domestic violence.

I was just watching CNBC News and saw bits of Meredith Baxter's accounts of her husband abusing her. Amazing what kinds of shit women face in the hands of their husbands and boyfriends.

Question: Why don't they just leave?

Sad to hear why the victims still remain in an abusive relationship. Threats to their children, loved ones, promises it will never happen again, etc.

Anyway, I don't know what we can do here on RS, but a discussion to try to make sense of it all might be beneficial.
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:05 AM   #2
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I find it pretty humorous the whole ray rice thing #WhyIStayed

Hmm..why she stayed may have had somthing to do with the 10 million coming to him in the next 3 years?

Also if a chick, whether it be my spouse etc is going at me, if I'm taking blows or getting spit in my face like Rice was, she's probably going to get somthing back.
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:05 AM   #3
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It's fucken pathetic that a man would do that to someone he's supposed to love.. Why don't they leave? because they are so beating down physically and mentally they don't have the strength in it most of the time. It makes me so angry seeing when a man hurt's a women and if I saw that in public I would call the cops because I would be afraid if I did something to him it might come down on her when they are alone later.
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:18 AM   #4
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Whatever happens, I just hope awareness is created surrounding this serious issue with using more sensitivity and less hilariously-missing-the-mark videos like these internet famous ones

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Old 09-17-2014, 11:20 AM   #5
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I completely echo that sentiment in regular society. Terrible when it's going on behind closed doors and with women who can't get the help they need or are too scared to seek it out

However, I find the whole NFL situation kinda gross and it really almost does a disservice in shining light on the subject. In almost all these cases it's virtually the same story, multi millionaire pro athlete who came from nothing shacks up with some "hood" bitch and all of a sudden there's issues? No..couldn't be.. A couple people who are used to living below the poverty line now have millions of dollars at their disposal and there's problems? Let alone the lifestyle that comes along with being a pro athlete.
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:38 AM   #6
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I think some part has to do with the fact that a woman is ashame of whats happening to her and can't find the courage to talk to someone about it or ask for help.

This also plays into the fear that if the man finds out, it will only get worse. It also doesn't help that media (in movies and shows) that no matter where the woman goes, the man will find her. The fear is a downward spiral and it grows exponentially.

On top of all that, the love that the woman may have for the man still makes it that much harder. Then the possibility that no one would want her if their man is being so bad to them, they will probably wonder who is she really good enough for?

This shit just stacks on top of each other and it goes out of control.
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:44 AM   #7
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dad hit my mom once
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:50 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hondaracer View Post
I completely echo that sentiment in regular society. Terrible when it's going on behind closed doors and with women who can't get the help they need or are too scared to seek it out

However, I find the whole NFL situation kinda gross and it really almost does a disservice in shining light on the subject. In almost all these cases it's virtually the same story, multi millionaire pro athlete who came from nothing shacks up with some "hood" bitch and all of a sudden there's issues? No..couldn't be.. A couple people who are used to living below the poverty line now have millions of dollars at their disposal and there's problems? Let alone the lifestyle that comes along with being a pro athlete.
Your calling her a hood bitch because she is black or because you know her life story?
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:56 AM   #9
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Don't forget this stuff goes both ways, anyone can be abused either physically or emotionally and it should all be treated equally and seriously.

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half those dudes are hotter than ,my GF.
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reading this thread is like waiting for goku to charge up a spirit bomb in dragon ball z
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OH thank god. I thought u had sex with my wife. :cry:
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Old 09-17-2014, 12:01 PM   #10
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If I was on a computer id dig up the links I read from deadspin and ESPN

Multiple kids from neighborhoods players grew up in, living in projects and group homes and going to media about outstanding child support etc

Mistakes on both sides in most cases but it comes down to getting involved with the wrong people. Doesn't make up for some of the actions but in most of the cases I read it didn't seem like the females involved were outstanding citizens.

Janay Palmer, Ray Rices wife arrested and charged for shoplifting clothes, etc
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Old 09-17-2014, 12:02 PM   #11
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Dominating and possessive men are more attractive as partners than submissive and indifferent men


50 Shades of Grey was a controlling and abusive relationship that wet millions and millions of housewife panties. Why?

1. Billionaire
2. Very possessive
3. Dominating man

Yes some men are just total psychos and will abuse anyone that they can, but in general being an abuser, IMO, correlates with being a more attractive partner.

Fuck I met a ton of suitcase pimp boyfriends in porn and I have no doubt none of them would hesitate to slap their girlfriends if it got them back into line. It is just the way it is. Think Clay Morrow from SoA beating the shit out of Gemma, she still loved him afterwards. Now I know that's fictional but those characters still have an accurate portrayal of a very tough woman being dominated by an even tougher man. Just google Tori Black's boyfriend if you want an example.

Remember back when you were a teenager and a girl would be crying and saying what a jerk her boyfriend was and how you treated her so much better? You weren't getting laid by her, she was wet and willing to drop anything at anytime to fuck the guy who made her cry.


I know a couple who is married with 2 kids. Back about a decade they didn't have any children and they loved to party. The chick would get waaaaaaay too drunk and the guy would basically also be a dick. She was pretty domineering and would do things like kiss other guys and put herself in situations where her husband needed to react. She would provoke shit, basically. Anyways, one time we were partying she locked herself in a bathroom and started yelling. Nobody could calm her down despite half the people at the partying trying. Finally, the husband opened the door and ended up gettintg scratched by his wife for doing so. Right then and there he hauled off and slapped her like 3-4 times hard in the face. They have been happily together for like 12 years now!


Domestic violence is a super complex issue
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Old 09-17-2014, 12:46 PM   #12
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Quote:
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If I was on a computer id dig up the links I read from deadspin and ESPN

Multiple kids from neighborhoods players grew up in, living in projects and group homes and going to media about outstanding child support etc

Mistakes on both sides in most cases but it comes down to getting involved with the wrong people. Doesn't make up for some of the actions but in most of the cases I read it didn't seem like the females involved were outstanding citizens.

Janay Palmer, Ray Rices wife arrested and charged for shoplifting clothes, etc
She only has one kid and thats with Ray Rice . She did not live in group homes and went to prep school where she was class president. She also has a degree in mass communication that she got in December.

So what every you have been reading is B.S.

There?s more to Janay Rice than that video with Ray Rice - The Washington Post

Janay Rice: student, mother, friend - Baltimore Sun
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Old 09-17-2014, 01:30 PM   #13
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Domestic violence happens on both sides, fellows.

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Old 09-17-2014, 01:38 PM   #14
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Dutch oven = abuse
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Old 09-17-2014, 01:54 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by multicartual View Post
Dominating and possessive men are more attractive as partners than submissive and indifferent men


50 Shades of Grey was a controlling and abusive relationship that wet millions and millions of housewife panties. Why?

1. Billionaire
2. Very possessive
3. Dominating man

Yes some men are just total psychos and will abuse anyone that they can, but in general being an abuser, IMO, correlates with being a more attractive partner.

Fuck I met a ton of suitcase pimp boyfriends in porn and I have no doubt none of them would hesitate to slap their girlfriends if it got them back into line. It is just the way it is. Think Clay Morrow from SoA beating the shit out of Gemma, she still loved him afterwards. Now I know that's fictional but those characters still have an accurate portrayal of a very tough woman being dominated by an even tougher man. Just google Tori Black's boyfriend if you want an example.

Remember back when you were a teenager and a girl would be crying and saying what a jerk her boyfriend was and how you treated her so much better? You weren't getting laid by her, she was wet and willing to drop anything at anytime to fuck the guy who made her cry.


I know a couple who is married with 2 kids. Back about a decade they didn't have any children and they loved to party. The chick would get waaaaaaay too drunk and the guy would basically also be a dick. She was pretty domineering and would do things like kiss other guys and put herself in situations where her husband needed to react. She would provoke shit, basically. Anyways, one time we were partying she locked herself in a bathroom and started yelling. Nobody could calm her down despite half the people at the partying trying. Finally, the husband opened the door and ended up gettintg scratched by his wife for doing so. Right then and there he hauled off and slapped her like 3-4 times hard in the face. They have been happily together for like 12 years now!


Domestic violence is a super complex issue
Too ludicrous; didn't read.

Actually I stopped when you mentioned 50 shades of crap.

Domestic violence is not complex; it is just wrong.
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Old 09-17-2014, 02:08 PM   #16
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Because Stockholm Syndrome.

Traumatic bonding/Stockholm Syndrome - Domestic Violence Support Group

Not the best site I could find, but it gives a decent (albeit brief) explanation about the two.
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Old 09-17-2014, 02:12 PM   #17
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Too ludicrous; didn't read.

Actually I stopped when you mentioned 50 shades of crap.

Domestic violence is not complex; it is just wrong.
It is an interesting point though, that garbage book contains a horribly abusive relationship, as did twilight, and they both sold in massive numbers, with scores of people wishing for that kind of relationship.
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half those dudes are hotter than ,my GF.
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OH thank god. I thought u had sex with my wife. :cry:
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Old 09-17-2014, 02:13 PM   #18
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And, it's not just against women. It involves kids, other members of the family and even parents. Problems at work, addiction, money problems, stress in general. These are all contributing factors.
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Old 09-17-2014, 02:20 PM   #19
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She only has one kid and thats with Ray Rice . She did not live in group homes and went to prep school where she was class president. She also has a degree in mass communication that she got in December.

So what every you have been reading is B.S.

There?s more to Janay Rice than that video with Ray Rice - The Washington Post

Janay Rice: student, mother, friend - Baltimore Sun
My first examples did not have to do with Ray rice, they were from an article about 20+ domestic assaults in the NFL from various players.
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Old 09-17-2014, 04:54 PM   #20
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She only has one kid and thats with Ray Rice . She did not live in group homes and went to prep school where she was class president. She also has a degree in mass communication that she got in December.

So what every you have been reading is B.S.

There?s more to Janay Rice than that video with Ray Rice - The Washington Post

Janay Rice: student, mother, friend - Baltimore Sun
12 players in the NFL still currently playing under pending domestic assault charges, or charges that have been already layed and awarded suspensions or settled out of court since 2005:

























not sayin, just saiyen..

Still Playing: 12 NFL Players Have Domestic Violence Arrests - NBC News



cant find the deadspin article, but it basically broke down each of those players, their backgrounds, and relationships with the women involved.
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Old 09-17-2014, 05:27 PM   #21
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Old 09-17-2014, 06:30 PM   #22
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Old 09-17-2014, 07:02 PM   #23
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Cardinals running back Jonathan Dwyer also got arrested and charged today on assault/domestic violence charges against his wife. What's hilarious/ironic is that the player that will fill in for him Rainey was kicked of his NCAA college team and the Steelers for beating his girlfriends.
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Old 09-17-2014, 07:33 PM   #24
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Do you guys think it's more prevalant in asian cultures, where the wife must submit to the husband? Or is it common here as well (lets put aside the Ray Rice and Chris Brown for now)

Has anyone talked to an abuser to see wtf they were thinking when it went down?
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Old 09-17-2014, 07:59 PM   #25
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DV / rape culture is disgustingly one sided, if men are not considered in the equation, all you will notice are women's stories. In a case where a man's side is heard, the blame is mostly placed on himself in the eyes of the law. Both genders are important here, but you're fooling yourself if you think that the margins are so one sided. An 18 year old girl could rape a 14 year old boy, have the baby, and the boy would be required to pay child support when he came of age with no legal repercussion on the (now) woman's side.

Abusive relationships where it's the woman who degrades the man and makes him feel unsafe are not heard, because the man is expected to "man up". Perhaps we should start treating those with mental issues that way, and be shocked when a bullied and depressed boy shoots up a school?

I'm all for equal rights, but it will go both ways or not at all.

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