glad you had a chance to talk it out. Do her a favor and don't really put her on the spot.

1) Set a time, talk it out in a civil manner: We are talking about a future here so you better let her know ahead of time and sit down over a glass of wine and work it out. You want to be an adult, welcome to working shit out 1 on 1.

THINK this is hard, imagine those who get married and find out your wife / husband is cheating on you and you gotta work that out... what you have ot deal with is nothing.

2) parents and family, debt.
where i come from, when you marry, you marry their family AND their debt, but tha'ts another story. She seems to have a lot on her shoulders (in a good way. a girl that can handle her finance = fucking awesome with their money). Start by having a JOINT account when you get married and you work out your expenses.

"Honey, my family needs a bail out".... Sure... go take it out from your bitch only fund. You ain't touching my man cave money. "hey, we aren't balancing our budget this money, well then BOTH of us put more money in the family fund: