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Old 07-05-2016, 12:18 PM   #1
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Has anyone planned a wedding before? I'm looking for input

Hello RS.

I just proposed to my long time girlfriend. We are in the beginning stages of gathering information for our big day.

Has anyone planned a wedding before? I am looking for some tips and content/files if you have any.

We need a venue for at least 300. It may be more than that.
From what I gather, it seems we need a date and venue first.

If anyone has any information or any files they could send us, that would be appreciated.

Thanks!

edit: if you have any contacts or suggestions for photo booths, videography, photography, etc, I would be interested.
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Old 07-05-2016, 12:25 PM   #2
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Old 07-05-2016, 12:33 PM   #3
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Everything's a rip off, over priced because it has the word wedding attached to it

In a massive wedding like that you'll look back in 5 years and think of all the money you wasted inviting people you don't care about/haven't talked to since

No one looks at their pricey photo albums after the day they are turned over

Food is everything. I've been to some weddings where the venue probably cost 10-15k alone, but the food was shit, that's all I remember about the wedding. Paid out the ass for the venue but their catering was garbage, so thinking back the wedding was not impressive at all, if that's what you're going for.
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Old 07-05-2016, 12:34 PM   #4
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Old 07-05-2016, 12:39 PM   #5
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first off, congrats!

lots of ways you could go about it
but first, get the date nailed down...that will be huge when you're looking for a venue and when scheduling vendors (ie. photographers, videographers, photo booths, flowers etc.)
What season do you want the wedding in? Summer has obvious benefits but is significantly more expensive than Spring/Fall weddings.
Will your parents/her parents be contributing?
What is your budget?
If you can afford a wedding planner, i'd recommend one.
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Old 07-05-2016, 01:11 PM   #6
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Food is everything. I've been to some weddings where the venue probably cost 10-15k alone, but the food was shit, that's all I remember about the wedding. Paid out the ass for the venue but their catering was garbage, so thinking back the wedding was not impressive at all, if that's what you're going for.
Agreed on the food. That's the one item to not cheap out on. If you're Chinese, I would highly recommend against the traditional banquet. You've seen one Chinese banquet, you've seen them all. So predictable.

If we could do it again, we'd go small. Other than my close friends, and wedding party, I don't recall who was at our wedding. I just remember that I had a decent time, but it wasn't worth all the stress planning for one day.
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Old 07-05-2016, 01:11 PM   #7
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what other requirements?

i.e. do you need a church? if so, then you want to coincide the restaurant and church on the same day and book accordingly.
it's RS so are you booking a chinese restaurant? check restaurants on layout, prices, what AV system they have for you etc. they'll have different set meal price/packages per table so you can check that out and see what you like.

if you expect 300, unless you are VERY strict on keeping headcount, expect more (your parents will slide a bunch of additional invites in, bet on it). my plan originally was like 80-100 and went to 200 very easily, had to pull it back to 180 i think

flowers? personally other than the bouquet and whatever the groomsen wear i don't really see a need of it, or a need for fresh but what do i know.

photographer/videographer? camcorder on a tripod and a buddy video taping? figure that stuff out too. wedding slideshow? that eats time digging up pics and mixing in music.

wedding cake. fondant adds $$$$ b/c it's wedding. you can get creative, cupcake, or a fake cake that looks good for pics and a slab cake for guests later etc. i did a bunch of fondant slabs on different level tiers to make it look less plain while keeping costs down.

to add to yray's comment, yes it's your day - my mentality is like that too. but i also keep in mind it's your parents' time to be proud of you. ultimately whomever flips the bill has the final say/power.

decorations, table set up, depends on you guys what you want and what you expect. all depends on budget too.

don't forget to get someone to be your MC and if you don't have a wedding planner, to have someone steer the ship for you, you and your wife to be can't be bothered that day to manage things, a close friend/relative(s) will have to do that for you.

so when's the RS bachelor party meat happenin'?
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Old 07-05-2016, 01:13 PM   #8
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Oh that poor bride... Shes going to get a Revscene wedding!
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Old 07-05-2016, 01:30 PM   #9
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Oh that poor bride... Shes going to get a Revscene wedding!
LOL!

The cake will be like this:

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Old 07-05-2016, 01:53 PM   #10
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Old 07-05-2016, 02:05 PM   #11
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The bigger the wedding, the more likely it is that the two of you will need to delegate the tasks to others. Having an event planner will help, so either find someone in the family who's planned weddings before or be prepared to pay someone to do it for you.

As others have said, it's best to keep it simple and small. My wife and I had a small wedding in the off-season and everything, including our honeymoon in Hawaii, cost us less than 10K all-in. We had everything she wanted - a beautiful dress (tell your wife to hit a sample sale), a church ceremony, an excellent photographer, and an intimate and private dinner with family at a restaurant downtown. I got to pick up my wife on the big day with a new suit and shoes.

All of us who've been down the road before will give you advice, but in the end, your wife will decide what to do and you'll just whip out the credit cards and be left with a big bill. Good luck.
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Old 07-05-2016, 02:40 PM   #12
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Hi everyone,

Thanks for the replies so far.
We are having a Church ceremony. I believe it's only like $100 to rent our church, it used to be free, but now we have to charge.

My girlfriend hates the Chinese style wedding. So she doesn't want to do a Chinese restaurant.

It'll likely be a buffet style dinner.

Also, if you do have any contacts for photos/videos/photo booths, feel free to post or PM. I'm looking at all options right now. Thanks!
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Old 07-05-2016, 03:08 PM   #13
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You'll never watch your wedding video. Photobooths are fun for your guests, but once your wedding has its #2minutesoffame on Instagram/Facebook, renting one will seem like a waste of money in hindsight. You could always create your own photobooth with a selfie stick and some props from the dollar store. Tell your wedding MC and your AV guy to promote and display your hashtag.

Photos are important, so spend the money on a good photographer. Better yet, if you have a friend who does professional photography, use them.

Another way to cut down on costs and reduce the stress around logistics is to limit the size of your wedding party. If you can, limit it to a best man and maid of honour.

Buffet style is a bit tacky IMHO. As others have said, food is important, so food quality will suffer with a buffet style dinner. You'll also have to manage the order in which tables go up to grab their food, which you will not have to think about when you have to plated dinner.
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Old 07-05-2016, 03:10 PM   #14
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Check out the wedding packages at Mayfair Lakes golf club.

My friend just got married at that club last weekend.

If it's 300 guests, have you considered a cash bar for alcohol? Wine/booze can get really expensive it you are providing a few bottles of wine for each table.

My friend and his wife had cash bar only at Mayfair Lakes for their wedding reception.

http://www.golfbc.com/courses/mayfai...nning/weddings
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Old 07-05-2016, 03:15 PM   #15
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Buffet style is a bit tacky IMHO. As others have said, food is important, so food quality will suffer with a buffet style dinner. You'll also have to manage the order in which tables go up to grab their food, which you will not have to think about when you have to plated dinner.
Plated dinners are meh. Most of the time I don't even remember what I chose at the time of RSVPing, and there's usually stuff on the plate I don't care for. A buffet done right can be awesome. Everyone gets what they want to eat, and can go back for seconds. I remember that our buffet had a wide-array of food, and deserts, and 3 carving stations. Everyone got their fill, and then some. This was at the Brock House.

Booze-wise, we did drink tickets, and everyone got 2. If you wanted more booze, you could buy more tickets, or get them from other guests that didn't drink.
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Old 07-05-2016, 03:31 PM   #16
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Better yet, if you have a friend who does professional photography, use them.
Honestly in many cases don't even ask them, if they are close enough friends you probably would rather them enjoy your wedding, instead of it just being another day of work for them.

The other problem, I guarantee that person gets asked by "friends" to come shoot their weddings every day. If they shot these weddings at anything other than a slight discount, they are really shooting themselves in the head. There is only so many weddings a photographer can commit to in one wedding season, if they commit half their time shooting for free or a discount, they will effectively be killing their own income.
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Old 07-05-2016, 04:43 PM   #17
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youre not planning for the wedding. youre planning for the reception.
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Old 07-05-2016, 05:17 PM   #18
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Check out the wedding packages at Mayfair Lakes golf club.

My friend just got married at that club last weekend.

If it's 300 guests, have you considered a cash bar for alcohol? Wine/booze can get really expensive it you are providing a few bottles of wine for each table.

My friend and his wife had cash bar only at Mayfair Lakes for their wedding reception.

Richmond Wedding Venue - Mayfair Lakes Golf - British Columbia near Vancouver
Thanks, just checked Mayfair... But, it's not big enough. Thanks though.
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Old 07-05-2016, 05:41 PM   #19
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Westwood Plateau can do 250... if you can cut 50 guests. They are one of the better ones for "affordable" western style buffet food.

Its a bit far so you can expect some guests wont make the extra effort to drive up. And since it's far, feel free to have open bar cuz most people dont want to get smashed knowing they need to drive home (taxi fare will be expensive to Vancouver)
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Old 07-05-2016, 05:56 PM   #20
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had 2 different friends have their wedding at westwood. i quite enjoyed both. 1 had open bar on beer only there and another had a toonie bar (all drinks for 2 dolla each)

1 was buffet style there 1 was plated. food wise none were memorable so i can't really comment but the club house and the views from their balcony were awesome. can't see much of a view if it's cloudy though.
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Old 07-05-2016, 06:12 PM   #21
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having people pay for booze is so tacky imo

especially when people try to have this big grandiose ceremony and reception then you gotta pull your wallet out
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Old 07-05-2016, 06:22 PM   #22
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Congrats!

Some thoughts:
- My wife and I spent ~$40K on our wedding (~130 ppl), had a great time, and wished we spent even more. We also spent $10K on our honeymoon and wish we spent more. Our guests talk about how awesome it was 2 years later.
- My brother and his wife spent ~$12K on their wedding (~90 ppl), had a great time, and have no regrets. They spent ~$5K on their honeymoon and loved it. Many of their guests talk about the wedding to this day.

With the above as evidence I will say YMMV and it's what you want to make of it. My wedding was upper class-ish and memorable for the special details we had. My brother's was simple and was memorable for that. IMO, the ones who land in the middle tend to end up feeling cheap-ish - like the first Genesis sedan, they are not sure what they want to be.

For the size of wedding you're going to plan, I'd suggest a few things:
- A wedding planner is a must. Don't just get a day of coordinator. Let someone else run it for you. It will save you and your bride to be tonnes of stress, likely save you a bit of money, and ensure that things go smoothly. This was a top 3 regret we had with ours (not hiring a live band was #1).
- It's very hard to find a photographer that can shoot in many styles successfully. Some are great at posed, romantic shots, others are great at capturing candid moments etc. We opted for the latter and I was happy with the results, my wife was not so we ended up doing a reshoot with another photographer. Think about the style you want as much whether you get along with them.
- Small guest lists are better. Holding your ground here will piss off a lot of people (eg. the parents) so be prepared to trade other favours for this. The larger the guest list, the more impersonal your wedding will become for you. I had a friend who negotiated to have two separate banquets - one that was just for the bride's parents friends (several hundred people) so that the main wedding was more personal.
- If you want to pay for booze use drink tickets but be pretty generous with them. The heavy drinkers should pay their own way but anyone who wants to have 3-4 drinks will appreciate you making it "free" to them. Hand a stack of drink tickets to each of your groomsmen and tell them to keep people lubricated.

Good luck with your wedding!

P.S. Pick your groomsmen not just because they are great friends but because they will take care of shit at the wedding and will party all night.
P.P.S. Bridesmaids are there to keep the bride in one piece before the ceremony. Choose extremely wisely.
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Old 07-05-2016, 07:52 PM   #23
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Lol, ppl here are way too rich.

Brb. Time to go elope in Reno like my parents did
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Old 07-05-2016, 08:13 PM   #24
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Old 07-05-2016, 09:42 PM   #25
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I'm guessing that the size of the wedding means a lot of the guests are those of your parents which suggests they are funding a good chunk of it. If not and you really have close to 300 friends then I'd suggest not taking money from your parents.

My wife and I made the choice to not accept any money from our parents for the wedding so we had less obligations to deal with. They got to invite a small number of their friends (preferably their rich and generous ones!) but had no say on what we chose to do with the wedding (we still listened to them though). Our parents respected this and stayed out of the way for nearly all of the wedding.

If you can do that it can also take away what is normally a major point of bad stress.
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