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-   -   What do you call your in laws??? (https://www.revscene.net/forums/716078-what-do-you-call-your-laws.html)

PeanutButter 05-04-2019 09:58 PM

What do you call your in laws???
 
I guess this is a question more for Asian families...

What do you call your in-laws? I'm supposed to call them, Mom & Dad, but I feel super awkward calling them that since they're not actually my Mom and Dad.

For those married, do you just suck it up and call them Mom & Dad or do you call them something else?

I'm open to suggestions. Thanks.

320icar 05-04-2019 10:21 PM

White guy here: in-laws are separated, and live in penticton/salmon arm so I don’t see them often in person. I try and say mom or dad to my wife but she 100% of the time thinks I mean my own parents so I’ve sort of given up

EmperorIS 05-04-2019 10:24 PM

I still call them auntie and uncle. I tried calling them mom and dad once and it was weird for both of us lol

Mikoyan 05-04-2019 10:33 PM

Ask them what they're comfortable with you calling them.
My in-laws wanted "mom and dad."

NKC ONE 05-04-2019 10:41 PM

Grandma "Por Por" in cantonese.

fliptuner 05-05-2019 01:14 AM

We're not married but have a kid together. In her mom's eyes, we're married.

I would've been fine calling her, Mrs. Xxx but it's too formal for her.
I was raised not to call elder family members by their first name.
She's not my mom and I'm not her son.
We all settled on poh-poh.

Nvasion 05-05-2019 01:24 AM

I'm chinese. I call them mom and dad

SkinnyPupp 05-05-2019 01:30 AM

I'm white, wife is chinese, I call them mom and dad. They've actually been more like my parents than my own parents LUL

Spoon 05-05-2019 03:27 AM

Auntie & Uncle prior to marriage. Mom & Dad post-marriage.

Quote:

Originally Posted by NKC ONE (Post 8946870)
Grandma "Por Por" in cantonese.

You're calling her that because that's what your kids call her, right? Or is she that old?

asian_XL 05-05-2019 04:48 AM

didn't call them for 5 years after the wedding lol. Now I have a kid, I started calling them Por Por and Gung Gung

Badhobz 05-05-2019 05:31 AM

its Ah-Ma, and Ah-Dad

Why do i always feel like i just insulted my shanghainese self by constantly using cantonese more than my own dialect :( :( :(

coneZONE 05-05-2019 05:39 AM

i'm sure after you have kids (i guess this only applies if you do plan to have children), you'll start calling them the way your kids call them...
Like my parents call each other mom and dad, and call my grandparents gung-gung, por-por, mah-mah, yeh-yeh. lol

BIC_BAWS 05-05-2019 07:13 AM

My mom calls her in-laws (my grandparent) "ah-ma" when speaking directly to her and "mah-mah" when referring to her.

My dad calls his in-laws (my grandparents) "ah-gong/ah-por" when speaking directly to him/her, "lei goh (your) ah-ba / ah-ma /" when referring to him but talking to my mom, "gong gong/por por" when referring to him but talking to us (his kids).




On a slightly off topic but relevant (doesn't warrant starting a new thread for it),

I call my gf's parents auntie/uncle, just because of the way I was raised. But they typically call others ah yee and ah sok. Which one is correct? And do I change it to what they're accustomed to? Don't want to be rude.

coneZONE 05-05-2019 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS (Post 8946890)
My mom calls her in-laws (my grandparent) "ah-ma" when speaking directly to her and "mah-mah" when referring to her.

My dad calls his in-laws (my grandparents) "ah-gong/ah-por" when speaking directly to him/her, "lei goh (your) ah-ba / ah-ma /" when referring to him but talking to my mom, "gong gong/por por" when referring to him but talking to us (his kids).




On a slightly off topic but relevant (doesn't warrant starting a new thread for it),

I call my gf's parents auntie/uncle, just because of the way I was raised. But they typically call others ah yee and ah sok. Which one is correct? And do I change it to what they're accustomed to? Don't want to be rude.

just my opinion, or take on it... calling them uncle/auntie is ok because we're generally pretty westernized lol. And all the uncles and aunties I've met accept that way of being address. I don't know all the proper terms in Chinese (more than ah-yee, ah-sook/baak), and there's the thing if they are younger/older than your parents... etc... so it's a pretty safe bet to call them uncle/auntie. No disrespect here imo. But like mentioned above, you could ask if there's another way they prefer to be addressed.?

Presto 05-05-2019 08:47 AM

It's a preference thing.

My Chinese mom insists on "mom and dad"

My Arab mother-in-law is just fine with first names. I asked about calling them "mom and dad", but she was weirded out. On the other hand, her sister is like my mom, and likes being called "mom"

Bouncing Bettys 05-05-2019 08:51 AM

It comes down to age difference sometimes. My son's mother is 12 years younger than me and his grandmother is just 6 years older than me. It would have been super awkward to call her mom. What added to that awkwardness is that his great grandmother is 10 years younger than my parents (his grandparents).

cdizzle 05-05-2019 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikoyan (Post 8946867)
Ask them what they're comfortable with you calling them.
My in-laws wanted "mom and dad."

This.
They were okay with me calling them whatever my wife called them (although calling them with the Chinese version of mommy and daddy is kinda weird lol)

quasi 05-05-2019 04:02 PM

I call them by their names, ie: Dennis and Charlene

winson604 05-05-2019 04:03 PM

Chinese here I call them "lo dao" and "ma" where as I call my own parents "daddy" and "ma or mommy"

Oddly enough I never greeted my dad with the canto version I called him daddy my entire life.

will068 05-05-2019 04:51 PM

My mother: mom

MIL: ma

For my father and FIL: dad

PeanutButter 05-05-2019 04:54 PM

Oh man, THANKS SO MUCH RS, you guys pull through again!

Ah-Ma & Ah-Ba will work!

Her parents explicitly told me NOT to call them aunty and uncle as that isn't right and they wanted Mom & Dad, but I couldn't wrap my head around calling them that. There is no way I could call them by their first names, they are older school Chinese.

I talked to the wife and she said Ah-Ma & Ah-Ba would totally work. She will talk to them about it, but that should work.

Finally, I can greet them without saying, "Helllllllllllllllllo" hahaha.

Thanks RS

PeanutButter 05-05-2019 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by winson604 (Post 8946920)
Chinese here I call them "lo dao" and "ma" where as I call my own parents "daddy" and "ma or mommy"

Oddly enough I never greeted my dad with the canto version I called him daddy my entire life.

I thought "Lo Dao" would work, but I am told that "Lo dao" is too "harsh" and "snappy", so "Lo dao" wouldn't be appropriate.

Thanks though.

spoon.ek9 05-05-2019 07:14 PM

i'm surprised no one suggested lei lo mo. what has RS become?

SkinnyPupp 05-05-2019 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeanutButter (Post 8946924)

Finally, I can greet them without saying, "Helllllllllllllllllo" hahaha.

This I can relate to LUL

murd0c 05-05-2019 08:00 PM

I call gf's mom Mimi with is what her granddaughter(gf's daughter) calls her instead of grandma


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