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Vancouver Off-Topic / Current EventsThe off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.
Lots of judgement and assumptions in this thread. The cellphone is something you are accustomed to having on you at all times, a baby is not. Simple as that, nobody is suggesting a phone is more valuable than a baby.
Judgement that is entirely justified.
The fact that the media and people alike are suggesting that parents place objects that they deem important to their every day life in the back seat (wallet, keys, phone, etc) as a reminder that their small child is in the back is absolutely ludicrous.
Maybe the only explanation that would absolve parents is if they did not know and it was the nanny or something. But that just transfers the disgust to whoever it was that was so stupid and negligent.
At the end of the day, it is the parents who lost a child and not us. Us pointing fingers and making assumptions isn't going to be any where near the world of hurt they are going thru. Unless it was intentional, no punishment given to them will be equal to their loss. RIP little one.
Every time this happens the pitchforks come out for the parents and while there are definitely cases of parents deliberately leaving their children in their cars there are plenty of cases where it's not negligence. Each year about 37 kids die in these circumstances (https://www.cnn.com/2018/07/03/healt...rnd/index.html) - this isn't new and the Washington Post won a Pulitzer for their story on understanding why it happens (https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifes...=.85b22f010342)
This is really sad stuff but I think it's hard to be outraged after you get educated on the circumstances behind how it happens.
37 kids in 2 countries that have almost 400 million people :/
Tbh I installed services for a couple junkies with a few kids and a baby who fits this age range who live very close to this location and I was concerned it was them tbh..
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Dank memes cant melt steel beams
and the 29yo old who blew a stop sign and killed a bunch of young hockey players was an honest mistake too (not DUI or distracted by a phone)
was that not negligence? you don't think he's scarred for life and will live every day with guilt?
Exactly.
Nothing stopped some of the very same people in here from saying he should be burned at the cross.
But now that it is a parent, and their own toddler all of a sudden I should feel sympathy for the parents? Nah, im cool. They were ignorant, and an innocent child they didn't deserve suffered. So yeah you can lock the parents up and throw the key away.
Also, it's doubtful we'll know the identities of the parents but to observe them for five minutes should be indicative enough for us to know if they are already serving a life term...of guilt and regret. The type of guilt that will erode their bodies from the inside out. They will stew in their own suffering.
But who knows. The child was taken far too soon and under stupid circumstances. I always do a 360 of my car after I park it and return to it and I don't even have children.
Oh shit, I don't have children. Disregard EVERYTHING I just said.
you know leaving your kids in the back seat has gotten bad when my 2018 truck has a feature "rear seat reminder" that i assume will ding at you a bunch and give a message on the dash saying to check the rear seat when you turn it off...
I was listening to Charles Adler on the way home from Vernon last night and he was discussing these cases. Some points he made:
- These cases took a sharp increase in the 90's. This is when child seats were moved to the back seat due to the inclusion of air bags. Then it was recommended to have them rear-facing. This makes it difficult to even see your child without more than a glance.
- over 40% of cases in North America have no charges pressed against the parent because of it being considered a tragic accident and the loss of the child being a lifetime of punishment.
- People of all walks of life, incomes, professions, the absentminded, the meticulous, the most loving/caring, etc are susceptible to this phenomenon.
My parent's old car used to have a chunk of the dashboard missing right in the middle because they mounted my child seat rear facing in the front middle of the bench seat. As I got older, we used to point at that missing chunk and laugh at how unsafe that was in light of more modern safety regulations. You should see some of the early child seat designs, especially in the pre-seatbelt days.
I know with my son's first daycare, after they mixed up the days I had booked off, they called by 10:30 asking if he was still coming in or not. That is over 2.5 hour from when he would have been dropped off until I was notified by them that he was not there yet. On a hot day, 2.5 hours is more than enough time to make a car interior fatal. He was of course safe on vacation with me. But at least there was a check.
Keeping attendance records and knowing the whereabouts of a child should be one of a daycare's highest priorities. Not only for the purposes of child care, but from a business perspective so they can get paid and to know how many staff are required for the day. I have to wonder why the daycare in a lot of these cases was not prompted to call the parents when the child had not shown up for the scheduled time. Perhaps they too should face consequences for not doing their due diligence.
Keeping attendance records and knowing the whereabouts of a child should be one of a daycare's highest priorities. Not only for the purposes of child care, but from a business perspective so they can get paid and to know how many staff are required for the day. I have to wonder why the daycare in a lot of these cases was not prompted to call the parents when the child had not shown up for the scheduled time. Perhaps they too should face consequences for not doing their due diligence.
How many daycares do you know, that charge by the day? Why would it be their responsibility, for a child that's not old enough to get there on their own? They have enough to worry about.
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How many daycares do you know, that charge by the day? Why would it be their responsibility, for a child that's not old enough to get there on their own? They have enough to worry about.
It's the parents fault, pure and simple.
Are you referring to drop-in daycares? I have no experience with them and wasn't speaking of them as I never really considered them to be an option for someone working an 8 hour day. I'm discussing long term daycare services: where there is a long wait list to get in, where the child is expected to be dropped off and picked up at certain times on certain days, where prior notice is required when there is a change in plans, where parent's must call by a certain time to let the daycare know they aren't coming and staff would call the parents to find out what is going on should that call not come, where parent's must notify staff when someone other than themselves is going to be picking up the child, etc. I would indeed be concerned in the practices of a daycare if they didn't inquire to my son's whereabouts if he was expected to be in their care that day.
One of the stories Charles Adler mentioned had a parent get into their vehicle after work and drive to the daycare expecting to pick up their kid, only to learn the kid was still in his rear-facing car seat and dead. How many of these deaths, where the child was expected to go to a daycare, could have been prevented if staff had made a call to a parent?
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Last edited by Bouncing Bettys; 05-21-2019 at 11:16 AM.
I think it's reasonable for any service industry where they are expecting people/persons to inquire about whereabouts.
ie. I was running late to a massage appointment and got a call from the reception asking where I was.
At school if my cousin didn't show up, there would be a call to the parents.
I would expect the same thing at a day care. Though, I feel calling is more of a systematic thing for a business and not necessarily warranted.
I can see this being less likely if people are on a monthly prepayment option. In that case, why would the establishment care if you showed up or not. The fact that you paid gives the business less of an incentive to inquire about participants.
i suggest those quick to criticize or judge smugly ('it could never happen to me', or 'jail the motherfuckers')
to first google search 'forgotten baby syndrome' and then second,
(this is a must) read the many heartbreaking stories with an open mind..
here i'll make it easier: have a look and read ,scrolling right down the many titles
it's an eye opener for sure: https://www.google.com/search?q=forg...hrome&ie=UTF-8
it was an eyeopener for me when i first started, as i was like many, with the fire torch at hand to condemn them quickly.
some parents involved were lucky and came away shaken but aware with their kid still alive,
while others sadly were not and paid for it with a lifetime of PTSD, shame, guilt and depression etc.
Seems that there is a scientific reason as to what and why this horrible experience can occur
(not excusing it, but just to be more vigilante and warn others esp parents of newborns)...
even simply putting your cell/wallet in back seat beside your kid, or something you know you can't leave the car without can be
an effective strategy to avoid this potenitial life changing experience of endless heartbreak.
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