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-   -   Tying the knot with gf next month (https://www.revscene.net/forums/716110-tying-knot-gf-next-month.html)

Mr.HappySilp 05-13-2019 08:22 AM

Tying the knot with gf next month
 
So finally tying the knot with gf next month. Excited, anxious , happy, stressful at the same time lol. Wedding planning is all done same with most of the stuff.

Right now I am a bit nervous the whole moving in together thing. We both have our own place and the longest we been living together is at my place for about 40lish days before she move back to hers. I know our habits are somewhat different while other habits are very similar. Overall I think it was a good experience. But that was for only 40lish days. How does fellow RS deal with living their other half in the beginning? Was it smooth sailing or there are going to be lot's of issue right off the get go? IE sleeping at night I like to sleep on the side and just have the bed to myself while she likes me to sleep close to her and hug her during sleep. She also tends to grab all the blankets... or she doesn't like to watch TV and would rather to work out/swimming which I also go with her but there are times I wish I could be watching Netflix or TV. I also try not to use my computer when she is around.

Overall I am super happy but feels strange to have someone in your life all of a sudden. Is not I don't like the change but knows there are going to be some bad habits that I have that will need to change.

SkinnyPupp 05-13-2019 08:28 AM

Congrats dude. Can't imagine what it would be like to move in with someone permanently, having never lived with them before. I'd be scared too... you might want to divorce her in 41 days! LUL jk good luck (but kinda not kidding...) but mostly kidding 4Head

Mr.HappySilp 05-13-2019 08:38 AM

^^ Thanks! I do feel bad especially in the mornings since she works late so doesn't have to get up early while I like to get up at 6am get ready enjoy breakfast, watch the news then leave work around 7:20am She usually gets up at like 7:30 when she lives alone. When she was here she would actually get up before I do get ready and then make breakfast so I can stay in bed a little longer.

I am sure it will be fine just me overthinking about it. In some cases she actually changes me for the better lol.

SkinnyPupp 05-13-2019 08:41 AM

yeah stuff like that you guys will get used to and accommodate. It's the little things that can be problems.. People tend to have these little things that bug each other without really knowing.. Seemingly insignificant things, like the way they leave dishes around, or leave soaking wet towels, or don't ever clean the toilet, stuff like that. There are more significant things, but if you've ever traveled or live with someone, you know what it's like. It will take some adjustment, but it'll be worth it to be with the one you love for the rest of your lives. Good luck and enjoy this time!

underscore 05-13-2019 10:08 AM

40 days is a decent start at least, how did you handle things during those times? It seems a bit late to just be thinking of this stuff but if you love each other and communicate well I'm sure you'll sort everything out.

yray 05-13-2019 10:12 AM

you learn to enjoy your morning shit if she wakes up later than you

:ifyouknow: :jizz:

Hondaracer 05-13-2019 10:23 AM

That’s not very long living together to just get married and move in together permanently lol.. wife and I lived together for 3 years before getting married

Stuff like sleeping etc id make concessions right off the bat and it will be better for you both. The cuddling or sharing a comforter thing will get old really quick if you guys just play a tug of war all night. Wife and I have two separate queen sized comforters on a king sized bed works great

320icar 05-13-2019 10:27 AM

My wife and I lived together for about 5 years before we got married. Every person is different so it’s hard to give advice. Really the only goal is to be mindful of what habits you have and vice versa. If one person has pet peeves, try your hardest to not do those things. If she hates it when you leave dishes in the sink, then make it your job to control the dishwasher etc. That kinda stuff

Traum 05-13-2019 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.HappySilp (Post 8947719)
She also tends to grab all the blankets...

Dude,

If this is what you are not used to, you ain't seen nothing yet... PogChamp

I'm sure you've heard of the motto "Happy Wife Happy Life". There is definitely a period of mutual adjustment and transition where you get used to each others' quirks and routines. Some stuff are going to irk either of you -- why does the wife take up more than 3/4 of the bed when you are physically bigger? Why does she need 20-thousand bottles of "stuff" in the washroom / counter top when all I need is a bar of soap? Why does she think loud burping, farting, or swearing is unacceptable when we are at home??? A lot of it is cliche, but you'll see why they continue to stick around despite having been repeated ad nauseam.

You'll quickly learn to pick your fights too (if you are smart, that is), and most of the time, it'll end up / feel like you're the one making the greater compromise. If you can't find a way to deal with that, you'll most likely end up at the divorce court.

Good luck with the fun times ahead. :badpokerface:

underscore 05-13-2019 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hondaracer (Post 8947760)
Stuff like sleeping etc id make concessions right off the bat and it will be better for you both. The cuddling or sharing a comforter thing will get old really quick if you guys just play a tug of war all night. Wife and I have two separate queen sized comforters on a king sized bed works great

I forgot about this, we changed to a similar setup (king sized comforter on a queen) and it made everything so much easier. 7 years dating with a queen on a queen and 2 years married with a king on a queen, we definitely sleep better now.

Mr.HappySilp 05-13-2019 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by underscore (Post 8947750)
40 days is a decent start at least, how did you handle things during those times? It seems a bit late to just be thinking of this stuff but if you love each other and communicate well I'm sure you'll sort everything out.

To be honest everything seem fine. She cook while I clean and mostly she does the cleaning expect cleaning up her hair. She hates it for some reason and would not clean the tub. Routine seems good we got along fine.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hondaracer (Post 8947760)
That’s not very long living together to just get married and move in together permanently lol.. wife and I lived together for 3 years before getting married

Stuff like sleeping etc id make concessions right off the bat and it will be better for you both. The cuddling or sharing a comforter thing will get old really quick if you guys just play a tug of war all night. Wife and I have two separate queen sized comforters on a king sized bed works great

Yea we starting using 2 comforters and that made things a lot better. There are some things we try to avoid doing (me just farting whenever or eating in front the computer while watching Netflix). She trying to be faster when we were going out. One thing I was really surprise she likes to sleep naked and even when in the house she only puts on a pair of shorts....... She finds it strange I sleep with my old baggy t shirts and shorts @@

Quote:

Originally Posted by Traum (Post 8947767)
Dude,

If this is what you are not used to, you ain't seen nothing yet... PogChamp

I'm sure you've heard of the motto "Happy Wife Happy Life". There is definitely a period of mutual adjustment and transition where you get used to each others' quirks and routines. Some stuff are going to irk either of you -- why does the wife take up more than 3/4 of the bed when you are physically bigger? Why does she need 20-thousand bottles of "stuff" in the washroom / counter top when all I need is a bar of soap? Why does she think loud burping, farting, or swearing is unacceptable when we are at home??? A lot of it is cliche, but you'll see why they continue to stick around despite having been repeated ad nauseam.

You'll quickly learn to pick your fights too (if you are smart, that is), and most of the time, it'll end up / feel like you're the one making the greater compromise. If you can't find a way to deal with that, you'll most likely end up at the divorce court.

Good luck with the fun times ahead. :badpokerface:

We got the washroom cover since there are 2 washroom around she gets her own washroom and I get mine own. She is the quiet one when it comes to fights usually she just let me what I want unless is a principle for her. Her reasoning is that she is pretty much ok with everything unless it bothers her a lot and if it bothers her a lot I will need to change or it will piss her off really badly.

The fun part is happening lol. She is slowing moving her stuff over. Never knew girls have so much clothings and shoes......

TOS'd 05-13-2019 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.HappySilp (Post 8947719)
IE sleeping at night I like to sleep on the side and just have the bed to myself while she likes me to sleep close to her and hug her during sleep.

Hug and roll.

hi-revs 05-13-2019 12:19 PM

Compromise, compromise and compromise. When u cant compromise anymore, bite your fuckung tongue. Itll work out as long as you pretend you're a neutered puppy.

GabAlmighty 05-13-2019 04:40 PM

Just curious what your reasoning was for not moving in together before tying the knot?

If you don't wanna answer that's perfectly fine, just purely curious is all.

320icar 05-13-2019 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GabAlmighty (Post 8947806)
Just curious what your reasoning was for not moving in together before tying the knot?

If you don't wanna answer that's perfectly fine, just purely curious is all.

I know with my brothers wife, she’s Taiwanese and the family is quite Christian. My brother and her didn’t care. But her parents said it was a HUGE no no because their church friends would be judgemental about a non married couple moving in. True story lol.

Thankfully my brother is chill af and didn’t much care

ilovebacon 05-13-2019 05:36 PM

I am very happy to hear that you found the love of your life, this is exciting news. I am inexperience from this but what happens if you try doing 40days together and 40days alone and do another 40days together and see what happens.

SkinnyPupp 05-13-2019 06:17 PM

First thing you want to set straight is that you're cool with her farting whenever and wherever, so she's cool with you doing the same. SeemsGood

rsx 05-13-2019 07:19 PM

Never lived with my wife before we got married (strict parents) adjustment was easy. Just talk through it. You're allowed to have time to alone (reasonable amount of time) to watch tv/computer stuff. Having independent lives and hobbies is healthy!

rsx10 05-13-2019 07:37 PM

Who says you need to move in with each other? We slowly went from seeing each other every 2-3 to 4-5. Made things more comfortable. Soon we started living with each other after a year. I would suggest getting a King size bed.....2 blankets..... if it really bothers you. Good luck and enjoy being with each other 24/7 :)

punkwax 05-13-2019 08:04 PM

If you guys love each other you’ll both adjust/compromise and figure things out as they come. Don’t stress about the things you can’t control now and just go about things the right way with what you can control.

Congratulations! SeemsGood

Mr.HappySilp 05-13-2019 09:02 PM

We didn't live together before was because she had her own place and I have my own. So it was a bit odd for one of us to not live at our own place for long periods of time.

I guess I was just over stress with the wedding planning. Even planning who sits at what table with who is driving me crazy. Also so many place are book before we even asked. Didn't know this many people is getting marry in Vancouver.

DragonChi 05-14-2019 05:43 AM

Congrats!

Zedbra 05-14-2019 06:23 AM

Statistically, marriages where the people only move in together after tying the knot have a 50% higher chance of not ending in divorce. Living together prior while dating comes with a mindset that you can leave at any time, which then mentally rolls into the marriage years. Silly trivial fact I picked up along the way.

Compromise, enjoy each others' love, and remember how the old timers did it: when something is broken, you fix it - don't throw it away.

roastpuff 05-14-2019 08:28 AM

Hair. Hair everywhere. :ohgodwhy:

lowside67 05-14-2019 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zedbra (Post 8947880)
Statistically, marriages where the people only move in together after tying the knot have a 50% higher chance of not ending in divorce. Living together prior while dating comes with a mindset that you can leave at any time, which then mentally rolls into the marriage years. Silly trivial fact I picked up along the way.

Unless you can provide a source, I would say that statistically that statement is 50% likely to be true, and 50% likely to be false...

-Mark


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