Congrats man, it's gonna be great!! :D

Welcome to the club!

I just celebrated my stubborn little princess's 7th birthday a few days ago

pass on the tips and wisdom...
i feel like i'm in AA now.

Can't get closer to you guys if I don't start off being vulnerable.
I'm mid 40s, wife is 41, took us 3 yrs, 3 IVF, broke as F and now just suddenly when we gave up, she got preggo.

Now I gotta deal with all the new reno with man cave just to find out i have ot take it all down for baby girl.. FML LOL.

I'm blessed to have grandfathered a lot of hobbies, so I guess i can re-pick them back up again in 30 yrs LOL.

So a natural pregnancy? Congrats man!

You guys don't have an extra bedroom for the baby? Either ways you got time to enjoy the man cave. Our first one moved to his own room at 6 months old and that's considered early.

Really? We put our 2 in their own rooms at like 2 months or so. Didn't think it was considered early.

Day 1 my kids got their own room... at the very least we would put a foam mattress in their room, but no sleeping in the parents' room! We were fortunate that the first kid slept on his own pretty quickly. Second kid didn't sleep as well so very early, we just put a double-sized mattress on the floor where two of us could sleep on.

With that said, do what works for you. Gather advice from others, but don't feel obligated to follow their advice.

I think the AAP recommends keeping them in your room til 6 months to help reduce risk for SIDS.

On that point though, esp now that we're on our 2nd, here's my takeaway to 6793026:

Take care of yourselves! There's an infinitely long list of things that are "best" for your kid. Stuff like SIDS prevention, breastfeeding / pumping, how / when they sleep, what kind of music you even have playing, how / how much you talk to them and sing to them.

But if you guys push so far on some of this stuff that you're on the brink, it's actually so much worse for the kid and the family overall. So just do what you can, and try to stay positive for each other and the kid.

Also, "every baby is different" will be a handy phrase to keep in mind, and also to say to parents / in-laws / anybody else being pushy with you. It really is true. We just had our 2nd boy and with only 18 months apart, I can compare them back to back, and I can definitely say they are very different in needs and behavior. Take all wisdom with a grain of salt, and feel free to determine what works best for your kid and your situation.

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In terms of gear: look into getting a baby carrier!! I have a Lillebaby and my wife has a Bobawrap. It'll save your sanity because when the baby is screaming and screaming, and you've done everything you can (they're fed, diaper's changed, temperature OK, etc) and really they're just grouchy for no reason - which will happen all the damn time - holding them to you and bouncing them is the only thing you can do. And that gets tiring after a while, as well as ties up both arms so you can't do anything else. With the baby carrier, you keep them happy while you're freed up to go do other things. Like post on RS!!! :D

And on car seat - stroller compatibility: I put a huge amount of priority on our infant car seat being able to latch directly to our stroller w/o adapters, and it just really wasn't necessary in the end. You're not even supposed to leave a baby in a car seat for more than an hour continuously, they're not that comfortable, and car seats aren't really that heavy to carry by hand: so often we didn't even bother for e.g. visits to the pediatrician.

Whatever works for you, and makes you guys happy/have an easier time then it's the right way, unless it is outright dangerous.

Which neighbourhood is this? Brampton? Jane & Finch? :heckno:

it's so funny, i was looking at this, and being a dude for so long.. i'm like.. wtf is Bobawrap. Is this bubble tea????? so yeah.. i bought one.

i'm going ot so beat my kid lol

You all are right, do what you need to do.

We just reno-ed and have guest bedroom and when everything is said and done, wife wants to rip it out and put in baby stuff.. so i'm just bitter and sad lol.... 1st world problem. I also go a basement room so i'm sure i'll just suck it up.

What I find funny... there are literally NO SUPPORT for men's group. GO dig up mama for baby groups, you'll see 5-10 groups. For dudes.. NOTHING. Hilarious.

We'll be your support group lol

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1603325766532604

There are some unofficial ones around, but I'm not sure how helpful they actually are.

There is/was? A dad and baby storytime program hosted by the Vancouver Public Library specifically aimed at male parents. It was usually on weekends or evenings, so there wasn't that "let's stroller together for coffee" vibe the daytime mommy groups had. The group was usually pretty small back when I went.

If you didn't already know, sign up for all the pregnancy baby sample packs.

Back then, we signed up for all the ones we can find, and I'm pretty sure that between breast feeding and formula top up, we didn't have to buy any baby formula in the first 4 - 6 weeks. One of the packs included a baby items tote, and I am still using it today to carry my laptop LOL~

Another really funny observation was -- the baby poop from having different baby formula look SUPER different. Nestlé, in particular, always resulted in extra large piles :lawl:

Also, in case you didn't know, Amazon gives you a 15% discount on anything you have on your baby gift registry that wasn't purchased for you. Heck, you don't even have to open up your registry to anyone else if you don't want to. And you can keep adding items to the list + have your discount for months after your kid is due.

Granted it's mostly baby stuff that's eligible for discount, but we always try putting stuff through it anyway just in case.

We've saved hundreds of dollars this way.

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Agree 100% that the Dad resources and community is severely lacking. But yeah, at least you got us :p

Re: Dad support groups - after your baby arrives your wife will be offered all sorts of support groups and through that she can ask about ones for men. I was able to join a group of new dads for a couple meetings through that - it's very handy to speak to other dads who are at the same stage as you especially the first few months (most of us have foggy memories of what the hell actually happened during those first few months b/c those memories are stored in the same place that you store memories of having gone to war)

I have one product suggestion: https://www.babybjorn.ca/products/ba...-carrier-mini/

This was, by far, my favourite baby product that we owned - it's designed for newborns and smaller kids so you won't get a lot of use out of it (my kid was petite so I got about 18 months out of it). It was so incredibly easy to use and so comfortable - if my daughter fell asleep on me I was usually able to safely (ie. not wake her) get her off me while getting the carrier off.

Quick follow up -- these are the 4 that I have managed to find, but there are probably more if you dig deeper:

https://www.enfamil.ca/account/register
https://goodstartbaby.ca/pages/baby-club
https://similac.ca/en/similac-club
https://www.nestlebaby.ca/register

You should be getting full size samples, coupons, goodies, and whatever else they decide to throw in. I seem to recall most brands giving us a mix of a full size tub of baby formula powder, a couple bottles (or cans) of ready-to-feed formula, coupons with big discounts, and in one case, we received a few bottles of lactose-free ready-to-feed formula in addition to the regular ready-to-feed formula. At today's retail prices, each newborn starter pack probably contains $50 - $70's worth of products. I was really surprised by how much stuff they include.

Some parents frown upon switching between different babay formulas; some babies like certain brands better, or a particular brand might not agree with their digestive system at all (even when there are no lactose-free requirements). My little person didn't seem to care as he would happily gulp it all down. The only thing I noticed was, as I was saying, feeding on different brands made him poop out shxt that was drastically different, but he never had a problem with any of them.

+1 on poops being strangely different. Color, smell, viscosity lolol

We went through a lot of formulas because our kid kept explosively puking / diarrhea each time we tried something. In the end it turned out to be a cow milk protein allergy and we finally picked the right formula to sidestep that. (he's fine now and drinks tons of regular milk every day. I guess babies are just weirdly sensitive to random things)

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On diaper pails: we've tried a few, and in the end we found Ubbi by far the best. It seals the poopy smell in extremely well. It also takes regular garbage bags.

Oh different colours and viscosity LOL~ Now you are bringing up all these wonderful memories lol~

Smell was never an issue for us until he started eating stuff beyond milk.

But yeah, this is apparently what dads talk about...? LUL

Wait til you get multiple pics sent daily from your MIL while you're at work. Of poop.

I had to take a lot of poop photos in the early days for record keeping (and for the doctor) and my Photos app will randomly surface them here and there as a "Memory".

Related: Anyone else's kid ever poop in the bathtub during bath time? Happened to me twice. She's squatting in the water, gives me a cute smile and next thing I know there's poop in the water! Fuck!

Never, but I did get peed in the face once.

Oh this was not medically required, and well past the early days when you needed to check the poo. But yeah, I had to go back and scrub my photos history as well to stop "on this day" poop galleries.

At least that's at home. We've been at lessons at the public pool where they've had to evacuate everyone out of the kiddie pool due to bio releases.

Yep. A cheap aquarium net makes it easier to scoop the log out.

I've kept them cause I like to show my friends (and wife) once in a while. "Hey, you wanna see some poop?", "Wanna know what I think of you? Look at this"

Oh yea my kids both went in the bath multiple times, hilarious the first time I will say.

Congrats, now that’s a feel good story after what you went through leading up to this!! I’ve got a couple friends/family members who have been trying IVF with mixed success and heartbreaks, it’s not an easy road so really happy for you!