Parental Thread

[westopher]

If you guys need resources about things like breast feeding education, postpartum physio, psych, etc. I can ask my wife about resources. If you feel like your partner needs it, you should definitely bring it up.

[supafamous]

Originally Posted by westopher

I don’t agree with that at all. Your reactions to the disagreements and your handling of the parenting are going to be a big part of dictating whether you meet in the middle or keep drifting apart in terms of parenting.
You need to consider in the first months of parenting your partner is going through massive hormonal changes and could be dealing with postpartum depression.
If you think you’re that far off on the parenting from each other I strongly suggest you have a frank discussion about it or seek therapy before it strains the relationship beyond something that’s tolerable.

My wife was barely tolerable during those early months and the grandmas were not helping. I highly recommend using a therapist even if things aren't really bad - it's useful to have a sounding board. Perspective is hard to find during those early months - the change in life is so big and there's so little time to decompress and reflect.

[supafamous]

Just sharing this as it's presently the best part of my day.

So I drop off my 6y.o kid at school every day - we usually walk, sometimes drive and seeing her grow up has been such a blast. She doesn't need me to walk her right to the door anymore, she just gives me a peck on the cheek, cheerfully goes, "Bye Dad" and runs off to her classroom.

[Traum]

Lucky you. My kid is at the "Go away, Baba" stage most of the time now. I wasn't expecting this to happen for another 2 - 3 years.

[EvoFire]

Originally Posted by Tapioca

Pro life tip - if she's disagreeing/combative with you now when you're barely into your journey as parents, she will never agree with you about parenting when the stakes are higher.

I'm gonna disagree with that.

My wife and I went through rough patches with post partum with both kids. With the first one, she was combative for about 6 months, then it slowly eased up. Of course our relationship took a hit but it recovered as we both evolved in our beliefs on how and what to do with the baby and each other.

Before we had our second one I brought up the issues we had but we went ahead anyways.

Lo and behold, much more of the same combative stance from her. I reminded her that we went through the same thing and she was at least conscious of the problems may be due to her hormones and overall lack of sleep (second baby slept extremely poorly compared to the first)

I don't remember how old 6793026's baby is, but there's a good chance it'll pass with the hormones changing and also both of your beliefs changing, and setting clear boundaries with people who affect you guys

Originally Posted by supafamous

Just sharing this as it's presently the best part of my day.

So I drop off my 6y.o kid at school every day - we usually walk, sometimes drive and seeing her grow up has been such a blast. She doesn't need me to walk her right to the door anymore, she just gives me a peck on the cheek, cheerfully goes, "Bye Dad" and runs off to her classroom.

Same, we have had a goodbye handshake/routine since he was 3, and we still do it everyday for school and at drop offs for classes. Wife is a little miffed she's not in on it but my son also doesn't let her drop off.

We'll see how long that lasts before he's too embarrassed

Originally Posted by Traum

Lucky you. My kid is at the "Go away, Baba" stage most of the time now. I wasn't expecting this to happen for another 2 - 3 years.

My daughter is at that stage right now, and she's not even 3. She told me the other night, "Go to work, Baba."