Parental Thread

[supafamous]

Originally Posted by 6793026

how do you all deal with kids jetlag?

We went to Australia when my kid was 4 and didn't really find it to be a problem that had to be managed. If anything she adapted better than we did as she slept more on the flight than we did and once on the ground the only adaptation we had to deal with was that she needed a really long afternoon nap for the first couple days. That was fine as we had her in the stroller and just kept at our activities. I can't recall how it was on the return side as it was pretty much a non-event.

Your mileage will of course totally vary based on age and the way your kid is though.

[EvoFire]

Originally Posted by 6793026

how do you all deal with kids jetlag?

Go to work go to school.

My 5yo at the time, was completely fine with jetlag, he knows he needs to sleep and he went to school and survived it.

The 2 yo kicked our ass as she still naps, so the nap became the overnight sleep. Cranky af before and after. Wakes up in the middle of the night cause that was nap over in Asia. First night back she was up from 1am - 6am. We took turns with her at night but we both wanted to die for a month.

[supafamous]

If this is the bar then I'm doing great as a parent.

https://youtu.be/Z-GkTg1LrCw?si=8qVwd_xwuh_X_yDq

[bcrdukes]

Wow, the Camry behind her stopped just in time. Hope the kid is ok.

[6793026]

holy.. this is why people need to not hold on to their kid and have them strapped onto their seats.

[bcrdukes]

Isn't the kid supposed to be sitting in the back as well?

[EvoFire]

It seems like no one was even holding the kid, the kid was crawling around the car by themselves as the mom drove and he opened the door and fell out.

[supafamous]

Originally Posted by EvoFire

It seems like no one was even holding the kid, the kid was crawling around the car by themselves as the mom drove and he opened the door and fell out.

In the 60's that was every day though.

Reminds me of when I was 7 and my parents drove me and my 4 year old brother to Disneyland but we made a stop in Reno so they could play slots. Security told them kids weren't allowed in the casino so my parents thought about it a bit and decided the best thing to do was to leave me and my brother outside the casino. I remember having my hands on the glass looking into the casino seeing my parents play slots while me. Back then it was kinda normal, today that gets you arrested.

[6793026]

holy crap that's a lot of trauma, please tell me more type shit if this happened today LOL

what pussies of generation of kid we are bringing up.

[supafamous]

https://apple.news/A-HThIc1hQqmO96RzYYnSag
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/2...divide/684466/

Really good read about the gap that exists between fathers and daughters - 28% (!!!) of daughters are estranged from their dads (in the US). Sons aren't far though and I can understand that - I'm way closer to my mom than my dad (I'm not really close to either though).

I'm very aware that my daughter shares more with my wife than she does with me - my wife is more nurturing for one thing and my hearing loss make it more challenging for my daughter to talk with me (it's why I carry her a lot now so she's closer to my ears). I'm told the balance does shift as children get older but I'm very mindful of being present for her and stuff like this is a good reminder - I very pointedly have regular daddy-daughter days and have optimised my semi-retired life around her schedule.

Evidence of a dad-daughter divide crops up in more recent research on families, too. Fathers and daughters are more likely to become estranged than other pairs within the nuclear family. According to a 2022 study of national longitudinal data, roughly 28 percent of women in the U.S. are estranged from their dad; that’s only slightly higher than the 24 percent of sons estranged from their father but significantly higher than the 6.3 percent of children of any gender estranged from their mother. Even in cases where contact isn’t completely cut off, father-daughter relationships tend to be less close than other familial bonds.

In a 2010 study, adult daughters reported feeling less comfortable discussing personal issues with their father than they did with their mother, and relying on their dad for “instrumental support” rather than emotional care. Linda Nielsen, a professor at Wake Forest University who has studied father-daughter relationships for much of her career and written five books on the topic, has called it the weakest parent-child relationship. Of course, plenty of women have a close and loving relationship with their father. But the research is clear: Many do not.

...

As kids reach high school, the discrepancy in how much time dads spend with their sons versus their daughters balloons. The 2012 study found that by age 17, girls were averaging less than 30 minutes a week one-on-one with their dad, while boys got more than an hour; fathers and teen daughters hung out less than any other familial combination. Part of the time gap seems to stem from the fact that teen boys tend to want to spend more time with their dad, and teen girls largely gravitate toward their mom. But Will Glennon, a writer who interviewed hundreds of fathers for his 1995 book, Fathering, told me that many dads also distance themselves from their adolescent daughters.

Most of the fathers he spoke with were uncomfortable watching their girls go through puberty. That stage felt volatile, and the dads had “no idea” what their daughters were dealing with—so they withdrew. This was a reaction that Glennon said he understood: He’d also struggled when his daughter was a teen.

[underscore]

I'm interested in the stats for other countries for comparison. I'm not super surprised by this in the US at least since they're very right wing and have a looooot of sexism going on down there.

[bcrdukes]

Somewhat related but Stock & Noob Meet 2026 - Details To come.

This is a chance for dads here to bring your daughter(s) [or kids haha] to this year's event.

[supafamous]

Originally Posted by underscore

I'm interested in the stats for other countries for comparison. I'm not super surprised by this in the US at least since they're very right wing and have a looooot of sexism going on down there.

Yeah, I agree. I imagine the more religious a country or the more there's an immigrant population (due to the culture clash between the old world and new) the higher the number. Semi-related: There's a theory that's been tossed about that the more lead poisoning one experiences the more it leads to personality problems with kids born in the 60's and 70's being the most affected (it me!) - that could cause some of the numbers to go up as well.

Generally I was surprised at how high the numbers were - in my friend circle I don't have only 1 friend who is estranged from her parents. Everyone has some relationship with their parents with most being reasonably healthy relationships.

[6793026]

i read the book strong fathers strong daughters; ping me nad i'll send you a copy.

I learned to provide them with more love, care, and most importantly confidence. For sure my daughter will learn to cook, ride bikes, motorcycles and shoot guns with me to increase that bonding time... (yes who can see the future but we'll see), it's also a very diff generation boomer versus us being dads now.

[RabidRat]

Originally Posted by underscore

I'm interested in the stats for other countries for comparison. I'm not super surprised by this in the US at least since they're very right wing and have a looooot of sexism going on down there.

It's 28% for girls, vs 24% for boys though! Sure, 4% spread is sexism maybe, but the remaining 24%?!

So 1 in 4 kids aren't in contact with their dads anymore after they're grown. Super sad .

Originally Posted by bcrdukes

Somewhat related but Stock & Noob Meet 2026 - Details To come.

This is a chance for dads here to bring your daughter(s) [or kids haha] to this year's event.

This is the key to restore The Great Rift. Even after my grown kids won't talk to me anymore, they'll still be on RS so we can trash on each other and fail each others' posts.

[Traum]

Originally Posted by 6793026

i read the book strong fathers strong daughters; ping me nad i'll send you a copy.

PM-ed. Thank you!