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-   -   "Selfish" man turns down being a godparent (https://www.revscene.net/forums/717286-selfish-man-turns-down-being-godparent.html)

Presto 05-31-2021 11:09 AM

"Selfish" man turns down being a godparent
 
https://vancouversun.com/news/world/...he-fine-print/

Quote:

A man is being labeled “selfish” for refusing to become the godfather of his best friend’s newborn after being handed a legally binding contract filled with “ridiculous demands.”

The anonymous man said he and his wife met a couple almost nine years ago and formed a bond. So when he was asked to become the godfather, he said it made sense and he was “honored” to accept. That was until the friend surprised him with a legal contract stuffed in an envelope. While the man thought that was a “bit overboard,” he decided to give it a read.

The contract started out reasonably enough, said the man, with requests to visit “every” Catholic event for the child, from christening, confession and confirmation. Yet it also included that he should convert to Catholicism and gift the child, referred to as ‘Jane,’ $30,000 over 18 years.

In the post made on Reddit, the man said the couple had no family of their own and that he and his wife were reminded by the friend that he’s “the only family they got.” The friend’s wife and his are both from the Philippines and talked often. The man felt obligated to accept being godfather, at least for a little while.

As the man describes, the request soon caused a rift: “The husband asked me if I could be Jane’s godfather… I was honored. My friend was thrilled and the next day he dropped off an envelope with some papers in it.”

“After he left I looked and it was a legal contract that I needed to sign in order to be the godfather. Obviously I thought it was a bit overboard but gave it a read anyways. It has many things I MUST do as a godfather.Such as I must go to every catholic event in which Jane attends, such as christening, confession, confirmation…etc. Which I know are normal events for a Catholic child’s life.”

“Then we get into ridiculous things. I have to consider ‘becoming Catholic’. I must give a gift of at least $500 for each of these events. And on birthdays/Christmas, gifts must be cash only and over $250. I am expected to save at least $25,000 (over Jane’s 18 years) and set it aside for Jane’s future college tuition. Her parents will provide the rest. Seriously?!?

“The list goes on to include various things such as being willing to cancel any plans I have if they need me to watch Jane or if they go on vacation (apparently Jane can’t go?). Many of the other things on the list were silly or not a big deal (like spending time with her once a week).”

The man said he told his friend there was “no way” he would agree to those demands, which caused the friend to lash out.

The friend “essentially told me he thought I was a ‘good guy”’but it was apparent I was selfish. He has since blocked my number and my email. His wife has too. Mind you his wife and mine talked nearly every day,” he explained.

“Since he ended things, I shredded the papers he gave me and left them in a bag and put it in his mailbox for him … telling him it was a shame he ruined a friendship over ridiculous demands. I told him I forgive him regardless.”
Lucky for this guy that he was informed what the parents were expecting. Glad he got out of that clusterfuck.

Is this a Filipino-Catholic thing or does this happen with Catholics in general? I know they have some weird traditions.

vitaminG 05-31-2021 11:17 AM

a forum post about a news article written about a reddit post...

jesus the vancouver sun has gone to shit. i guess the merger with the province isnt helping the cause.

quasi 05-31-2021 11:29 AM

I wish I saved the email, I received an email years ago from my friends wife. They were in the process of doing their wills and at the time they had a 1 year old son. She didn't really have any family and they wanted my wife and I to be the guardians of their son should anything happen to them.

Like this guys contract it wasn't that simple. She was like, we don't want his life interrupted so you would move into our house so he could continue to go to school with as little interruption as possible. There was a ton of other conditions as well I can't even remember them but keep in mind my wife and I own our own house, we have our own child lol.

I was so blown away I'm like how do I say fuck off not interested without insulting them? Eventually I was just like sorry, we can't.

Didn't affect our relationship, he's still one of my best friends and honestly that was all his batshit cray cray wife not him 100%.

mikemhg 05-31-2021 11:41 AM

It's extremely common with Filipinos. Often times there will be a dozen "god parents".

My friend got looped into that crap with her sister in law. I told her to say no, but she accepted to be one of the god parents. I don't think there was any contract or anything, but there is definitely an expectation to throw some $$$.

Fuck that :lol

Great68 05-31-2021 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Presto (Post 9028991)
https://vancouversun.com/news/world/...he-fine-print/

Is this a Filipino-Catholic thing or does this happen with Catholics in general? I know they have some weird traditions.

Definately not a general thing, really depends on the group and how devout they are.

I was raised Catholic (although not really practicing since I became an adult), I always thought of godparents as simply a ceremonial thing. My godmother is my mom's sister who I do actually see all the time because she lives on the island. My godfather was my dad's best friend who moved with his family to Edmonton when I was young and I've only ever seen him a handful of times.

For my kid we just made my sister his godmother and my wife's brother his godfather. Easy peasy. There was no "contracts" or "strings" beyond "Show up and stand next to him through the ceremony"

I do seem to notice that Catholics from third world/developing countries tend to be a LOT more devout and traditional and the expectations of what a godparent "does" might be much higher and so my experience is quite different. We only really did the baptism thing to please our parents, I really couldn't care less about sending him to sunday school and all that bullshit.

CivicBlues 05-31-2021 11:56 AM

Remember back in the day when all the AzNs were "Godbrothers" and "Godsisters" to each other? :lol

Anyways if I was the guy I'd just strike through all the stuff I didn't like and make initialed changes to everything else like "Parents will compensate godparents at an hourly rate equivalent to the $xxx/hrs indexed to inflation of course.

Fight back with the same level of insanity.

Hondaracer 05-31-2021 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CivicBlues (Post 9029003)
Remember back in the day when all the AzNs were "Godbrothers" and "Godsisters" to each other? :lol

Anyways if I was the guy I'd just strike through all the stuff I didn't like and make initialed changes to everything else like "Parents will compensate godparents at an hourly rate equivalent to the $xxx/hrs indexed to inflation of course.

Fight back with the same level of insanity.

Guaranteed a bunch of those “god parents” don’t even have a relationship with those families/kids anymore :lawl:

yray 05-31-2021 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quasi (Post 9028995)
Like this guys contract it wasn't that simple. She was like, we don't want his life interrupted so you would move into our house so he could continue to go to school with as little interruption as possible. .

A free house eh? :ifyouknow:

StylinRed 05-31-2021 12:32 PM

Yeah god parent contracts can get intense from what I've seen/heard

I'm more surprised by the sun writing articles about reddit posts though

quasi 05-31-2021 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yray (Post 9029008)
A free house eh? :ifyouknow:

More like care taker for said house till kids of age, even if it was a free house hard pass.

donk. 05-31-2021 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vitaminG (Post 9028994)
a forum post about a news article written about a reddit post...

jesus the vancouver sun has gone to shit. i guess the merger with the province isnt helping the cause.

Hence why i avoid reading any "news articles"
Add in reddit, and its an instant "close window" most of those reddit guys write juicy garbage just so they can get more karma (male version of instagram)

fliptuner 05-31-2021 08:59 PM

When "to the best of your ability" isn't enough and they hand you a contract, time to peace out.

snowball 05-31-2021 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quasi (Post 9029020)
More like care taker for said house till kids of age, even if it was a free house hard pass.

of age eh? :ifyouknow:

PeanutButter 05-31-2021 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by quasi (Post 9029020)
More like care taker for said house till kids of age, even if it was a free house hard pass.

Wait a sec. If it were a free house and all you would have to do is take care of them until they're 18?

Hmm... I still probably wouldn't do it, but I feel like a lot of people would.

I know people who take in foster kids just so they get the monthly benefit from the government. I suppose they actually care for these children, but the monthly benefit is quite good. If I recall correctly, one family was getting about $4k monthly for taking care of one foster child.

GS8 05-31-2021 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vitaminG (Post 9028994)
a forum post about a news article written about a reddit post...

jesus the vancouver sun has gone to shit. i guess the merger with the province isnt helping the cause.

To be fair, that's typical of modern journalism. Very pseudo, subjective and lazy. My favourite articles are where half the body is just a large handful of embedded tweets from randumbs.

As for the OP, I stopped reading once I saw Catholicism. Like we really need more assurance how 'awesome' that religion is :fuckthatshit:


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