The Modern Dating Thread

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by MarkyMark

This new dude was the reason she got "the ick" with her man, he didn't just conveniently stumble into her life as soon as she started getting annoyed by her boyfriend. Someone she liked better and gave her attention came into her life and she needed a reason to cheat on him so "the ick" was her excuse.

women operate on emotions and stability, so one day for whatever reason if a light switches, she'll decide you're not the one for her. any good that you've had will suddenly be forgotten. if you'd asked her 2 weeks ago before she met the dude in the elevator, she would have swore she was going to marry you, has never been happier.

after she switches, she feels as though she hasn't been happy with you for a long time and justify to herself that she never loved you.

hard to conceptualize but brings peace

[roastpuff]

Originally Posted by bcrdukes

What is solo living?

Has their own place without roommate/not living with parents presumably.

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by Razor Ramon HG

TBH, there is nothing wrong if you want to spend hundreds of dollars on a first date. I think it's when men expect to get something back in return -- nothing is guaranteed.

The issue is when you start date one at $100-200, and you see them weekly, that ends up being close to $600-800 depending on what you do. That's just for dinner, add activities, and weekend long trips.


I'm at this odd stage where there's 4 people that I've had good vibes with, but I have zero energy or desire to spend $$ on more than 1-2 dates a week, so now that I've given up, I'm getting max attention from all 4. Funny how dating works.

I also concluded if I'm not down to spend money on them, maybe I'm not into them like that? Probably cause some of them told me they prefer a 80-100 / 0-20 dynamic for paying for dates. and i have no capacity atm to want to plan dates like that.

Originally Posted by roastpuff

Has their own place without roommate/not living with parents presumably.

basements are okay if you're 6'1+ and built like ohtani, otherwise cooked if you want a pretty girl

Originally Posted by spoon.ek9

The problem is who they tell each other to aim for (top 1-3% of guys).

If you manage to find a girl who listens when you call out her bs, she's got a better head on her shoulders than most. Chances are, that one's a keeper. The ones who continue to be delusional in the current market will find themselves alone or doing IVF to have a baby on their own (I've got stories about this too).

single girls love keeping other single girls single

[HonestTea]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

single girls love keeping other single girls single

Misery loves company lol

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

I also concluded if I'm not down to spend money on them, maybe I'm not into them like that? Probably cause some of them told me they prefer a 80-100 / 0-20 dynamic for paying for dates. and i have no capacity atm to want to plan dates like that.

I realized that I don't mind spending some money on someone that I actually vibe really well with, ie. paying for brunch with no expectations to (she did cook me dinner so i guess it evens out?), picking them up and driving them everywhere, hanging out with them doing silly things (like shopping I normally hate shopping), holding their bags/jackets (weirdly it did not make me feel emasculated).

But it's when they *expect* a specific structured dynamic of 80-110 / 0-20, is when that pisses me off or when they expect that dynamic, right off the rip and I don't even know who tf you are LOL.

I also realized my AuDHD (internet diagnosis) has an impact on dating - I'm either 0 or 100. If I don't vibe with them, I'm bored and out. If I vibe with them, I'm down to be all in (and then also over invest lol). My problem is that I find it so difficult to find someone I vibe with. Tbh, all I want is someone who I can be shamelessly stupid and silly with, and not have glaring red flags LOL

[spoon.ek9]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

there's a lot of good girls locally. and I think I could find one at any moment. as my friends would say, I'm only experiencing the delulu one's cause I'm tryna go for the prettiest girls. I will pay the price though at least until I'm 32ish, then be more realistic



difficult in the sense that they want
- taller than them
- health/fit
- non smoker/vaping/occasional drug or weed / non excessive alcohol
- makes more than them masked as ambition
- car (optional if you live in DT)
- solo living (optional for some girls)
- provider + considerate + consistent


^
me?? I want a pretty girl who treats me well, family oriented, makes over $60K, then doesn't have to work after 40.

1. There was this 4'8 girl on Subtle Asian Dating that had 6'+ as a requirement. She got roasted in the comments lol. Girl is almost legally considered a midget but she absolutely has to have a guy that tall, no exceptions. Other girls of course tried to defend her saying she can have whatever expectations she wants but the problem generally is that women don't think what men want is important or a factor at all. IE, I can expect the world, YOU should be thankful anyone wants to be with you at all.

2. Very often they want a man who is fit/physically active while they themselves could be 20-50lbs overweight. I shit you not, this is common. Just shows how obvious the double standard is.

3. Absolutely insisting on the man making more money than her is how they try to weed out those who are "beneath" them. In reality, if someone makes the same money as you, you are equal. But girl math will tell you, no that means you're less than her. All the talk about being independent and "I don't need no man" but when it comes time to pay the bill? Yeah, you better be paying 80-100% of everything at all times.

4. Always asking for traditional aspects of a man in a relationship while they themselves are free to hoe around with zero accountability. They'll tell you things like body count doesn't matter because in the end they chose YOU This is an actual quote from my co-worker. She contradicted herself because right before that comment she was agreeing with me how neither one of us were the type to sleep around with a high number of partners before finding the one.



Man, this shit never ends. There are so many more things I haven't told you guys about dating in the past 10 years. I'm in a long term relationship now but all of this is still fresh in my mind. I'm in the same boat as others, if this future marriage doesn't work out, I'd rather be on my own. I just want peace and a dog (or several dogs).

[Gerbs]

Originally Posted by BIC_BAWS

I realized that I don't mind spending some money on someone that I actually vibe really well with, ie. paying for brunch with no expectations to (she did cook me dinner so i guess it evens out?), picking them up and driving them everywhere, hanging out with them doing silly things (like shopping I normally hate shopping), holding their bags/jackets (weirdly it did not make me feel emasculated).

But it's when they *expect* a specific structured dynamic of 80-110 / 0-20, is when that pisses me off or when they expect that dynamic, right off the rip and I don't even know who tf you are LOL.

The expectation throws me off too, I love the illusion of me providing but it's okay if I don't. It's so weird

Maybe it's because in the back of my mind, if I stop paying for shit they'll leave, idk. Also maybe it's the lack of reciprocity

[BIC_BAWS]

Originally Posted by Gerbs

I love the illusion of me providing but it's okay if I don't. It's so weird

This.

Originally Posted by Gerbs

Also maybe it's the lack of reciprocity

And this.

Reciprocity is nice tho. Never had a girl offer to cook for me after hanging out all day. That was nice xD

LOL sometimes I think I like the illusion/appearance/attention of dating more than actually dating.