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01-12-2009, 09:13 PM
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#1 | | I STILL don't get it
Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: vancouver
Posts: 485
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| And then the fight started...
I found this on another site. I thought it was pretty funny so ill pass it on....
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping
channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that
goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to
apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened
my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my
experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You
might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare,
please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad
cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
------------ --------- --------- ---
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her
husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near
perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- ------
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light
for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night
than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....
------------ --------- --------- --------- -----
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.
I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday
and then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise
came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at
the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped
out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom
and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you
running?'
And then the fight started.....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ----
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back
out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the
garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped
back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my
stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
anniversary? "
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet
appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....
------------ --------- --------- - - - -
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying
"Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife
kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the
house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said,
'you might as well sweep the driveway.'
and then the fight started...
__________________
:D
Last edited by -kish-; 01-12-2009 at 09:15 PM.
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01-12-2009, 09:22 PM
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#2 | | I Will not Admit my Addiction to RS
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 592
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Hahaha...brilliant.
__________________
1992 GS-R
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01-12-2009, 09:28 PM
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#3 | | DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 11,037
Thanked 2,572 Times in 690 Posts
Failed 578 Times in 161 Posts
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hahaha
some of those are pretty clever
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01-12-2009, 09:28 PM
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#4 | | I bringith the lowerballerith
Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: voncouver
Posts: 1,188
Thanked 32 Times in 15 Posts
Failed 26 Times in 7 Posts
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nice. there's never a dull day when you have a wife. 
__________________
asian parents, "i want five cows for your son"
brown parents, "FIVE COWS?! HAVE YOU GONE COO KOO? five cows... noo to much... two cows."
Go WINGS GO 1997,1998,2002 & 2008
#2 #5 #13 #14 #16 #19 #30 #40 #91
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01-12-2009, 09:29 PM
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#5 | | Need my Daily Fix of RS
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 257
Thanked 22 Times in 7 Posts
Failed 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Hilarious. good find  | |
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01-12-2009, 09:34 PM
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#6 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: vancouver
Posts: 1,742
Thanked 179 Times in 76 Posts
Failed 189 Times in 70 Posts
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lols good stuff!
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01-12-2009, 09:35 PM
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#7 | | God of Unce
Join Date: May 2008 Location: ASOT
Posts: 7,828
Thanked 167 Times in 43 Posts
Failed 285 Times in 103 Posts
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LOL good laughs
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01-12-2009, 09:38 PM
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#8 | | I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Van.
Posts: 2,929
Thanked 1,967 Times in 290 Posts
Failed 536 Times in 92 Posts
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i laughed out loud....
__________________
RIP JN
UNCE UNCE UNCE! Quote:
Originally Posted by strykn  Comparing A&B with deadmau5? Really? I should fucking slap you | 2007 Acura TL 2005 Acura TL....RIP 2003 Honda Accord Coupe V6....RIP | |
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01-12-2009, 09:39 PM
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#9 | | Where's my RS Christmas Lobster?!
Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 805
Thanked 574 Times in 129 Posts
Failed 42 Times in 13 Posts
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hahahah.. hope none of these are true cuz that would be hilarious
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01-12-2009, 09:40 PM
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#10 | | ESKETIT
Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Shambhala
Posts: 23,360
Thanked 9,694 Times in 2,326 Posts
Failed 997 Times in 240 Posts
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and then the fight started lol
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01-12-2009, 09:45 PM
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#11 | | Revscene.net has a homepage?!
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: RICHMOND
Posts: 1,299
Thanked 200 Times in 76 Posts
Failed 56 Times in 20 Posts
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My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying
"Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
HAHAHAH
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01-12-2009, 09:48 PM
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#12 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Richmond
Posts: 503
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Failed 0 Times in 0 Posts
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i had agood laugh lol ty
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01-12-2009, 09:50 PM
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#13 | | OWNER/C.F.O./MONEYMAN
Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 16,486
Thanked 2,253 Times in 626 Posts
Failed 6 Times in 3 Posts
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it be awesome if you could have a wife or a sig other that had a sense of humour like that...
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01-12-2009, 09:51 PM
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#14 | | Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Earth
Posts: 227
Thanked 44 Times in 11 Posts
Failed 14 Times in 2 Posts
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rofl those were awesome
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01-12-2009, 10:03 PM
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#15 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: vancouver
Posts: 10,849
Thanked 291 Times in 122 Posts
Failed 20 Times in 8 Posts
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hahahah, not bad.. lol..i guess the make up sex is good? ahaha
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01-12-2009, 10:10 PM
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#16 | | Wunder? Wonder?? Wander???
Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 243
Thanked 68 Times in 13 Posts
Failed 70 Times in 3 Posts
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LOL, the who wants to be a millionaire was the best  | |
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01-12-2009, 11:22 PM
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#17 | | RS controls my life!
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Funky Town
Posts: 711
Thanked 1,037 Times in 94 Posts
Failed 62 Times in 11 Posts
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they are all pretty clever =]
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01-12-2009, 11:43 PM
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#18 | | MoD
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: a rainy city
Posts: 3,486
Thanked 1,805 Times in 227 Posts
Failed 124 Times in 20 Posts
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the fishing one got me to "ohhh" lol
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01-13-2009, 06:20 AM
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#19 | | I don't get it
Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Surrey
Posts: 403
Thanked 65 Times in 19 Posts
Failed 21 Times in 5 Posts
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hahaha those were pretty funny
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01-13-2009, 07:47 AM
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#20 | | Everyone wants a piece of R S...
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 344
Thanked 14 Times in 7 Posts
Failed 20 Times in 5 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by navi187 My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying
"Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
HAHAHAH |
__________________ Quote: By Valour
- Small victories... tasty like salty peanuts. Peanuts, the proper diameter of your anus. Protect it well my friends!
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01-13-2009, 08:10 AM
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#21 | | Willing to sell a family member for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Surrey
Posts: 12,760
Thanked 689 Times in 376 Posts
Failed 61 Times in 38 Posts
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pretty good stuff
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01-13-2009, 09:07 AM
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#22 | | OMGWTFBBQ is a common word I say everyday
Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Vancity
Posts: 5,480
Thanked 28 Times in 14 Posts
Failed 22 Times in 3 Posts
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hahha....thats dope stuff
__________________
Redlining Beaters For A Living........
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01-13-2009, 09:20 AM
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#23 | | Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: burnaby
Posts: 753
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Failed 0 Times in 0 Posts
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ROFL! thnx for good morning laugh lol
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01-13-2009, 09:47 AM
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#24 | | Proud to be called a RS Regular!
Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 118
Thanked 65 Times in 13 Posts
Failed 1 Time in 1 Post
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Read this stuff before. Always good for a laugh...
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01-13-2009, 09:50 AM
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#25 | | Everyone wants a piece of R S...
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 390
Thanked 545 Times in 74 Posts
Failed 31 Times in 8 Posts
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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back
out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the
garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped
back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my
stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ...
I like that one!!
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