[Traum]

No, man. No amount of hammers, expensive tools, or the touch of God's hand can fix this one.

You would be doing a huge disservice to a bro. :lol
Yeah, none of what you've mentione would be able to "fix" this, but would getting some D be able to cure that? :ifyouknow:

[bcrdukes]

Yeah, none of what you've mentione would be able to "fix" this, but would getting some D be able to cure that? :ifyouknow:

If you want an STD, sure. :inoutugh:

[Badhobz]

Umm...She was someone I had in mind, but I was thinking of someone else. :pokerface:

WutFace oh shes beyond redemption. WutFace

just a black hole of despair, insanity, and stupidity rolled into a neurotic, superficial, basic bitch exterior

and top it off shes fucking poor!!!

actually all these old cunts are kinda middle class to lower middle class singles.... the rich ones are only available upon special request.

[68style]

Rich old cunts are your gateway man, they gave up trying to limit what they got and down for literally anything, yolo life. You can suggest almost anything to them and they'll be like "fuck off how dare you!"... and as long as you just act non-chalant and shrug your shoulders all like 'suit yourself then', which you're good at, a couple days later surprise surprise they're calling you or texting you back all like "so that thing you were talking about... how does it work" BAM you got an anal party

Getting old has its perks!

[EvoFire]

getting noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bitches!



Should I add a date counter too until I find a gf
- 2 first dates from talking to strangers after TWICE
- 1 first date via hinge
- 1 dropped
- 2 referrals from friends in upcoming weeks

That sounds like my interview schedule.....

[Badhobz]

Rich old cunts are your gateway man, they gave up trying to limit what they got and down for literally anything, yolo life. You can suggest almost anything to them and they'll be like "fuck off how dare you!"... and as long as you just act non-chalant and shrug your shoulders all like 'suit yourself then', which you're good at, a couple days later surprise surprise they're calling you or texting you back all like "so that thing you were talking about... how does it work" BAM you got an anal party

Getting old has its perks!

You had me at anal party

[Gerbs]

whats your requirements again? let me know.

i got a stable of half demented whores who are late 30's to 40+ and emotionally / psychologically sad

YOU WANT ONE OF THOSE?!?!!

ooops... im not selling this very well.

According to my friends, my current type is girls who look like TWICE but better.

Can you sponsor the LC for a date plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

That sounds like my interview schedule.....

I'd rather do tech interviews, get lowballed $90K in-office all week than listen to another girl say "are you a provider" and "as you should"

[Tapioca]

According to my friends, my current type is girls who look like TWICE but better.



Are you afraid of non-Asian girls, or something? Maybe that's what your problem is.

Guy who's over 6', lives on his own, is somewhat vain (but in a good way, which matters to people under 30), travels a lot, makes 6 figures and can't "find" a woman - it doesn't add up. Speaking from experience, all of these things should result in the rizz that is probably the most important thing in finding someone.

Like, good on you for focusing on your health and achieving your goals, but do it for yourself, instead of chasing something/someone.

[Badhobz]

Yeah it doesnt add up. You must be a total weirdo in bed…. Thats what it is…

Plus having an LC doesnt help on dates, it’ll only bring out the gold diggers. You should instead ask to borrow the camry. If that bitch can handle you driving a 20 year old camry, then shes a keeper. Make sure to anal her first.

Edit: my stable of old hags dont look like twice, they look like thrice or more…… all advanced aged and shrivelled up….. personalities. Does that interest you? Middle age hoes pre menopausal ? They probably need their instruments tuned and adjusted. You could be their hummmmm heeenn (clam) guy

[bcrdukes]

Are you afraid of non-Asian girls, or something? Maybe that's what your problem is.

Guy who's over 6', lives on his own, is somewhat vain (but in a good way, which matters to people under 30), travels a lot, makes 6 figures and can't "find" a woman - it doesn't add up. Speaking from experience, all of these things should result in the rizz that is probably the most important thing in finding someone.

Like, good on you for focusing on your health and achieving your goals, but do it for yourself, instead of chasing something/someone.

Yeah it doesnt add up. You must be a total weirdo in bed…. Thats what it is…

Plus having an LC doesnt help on dates, it’ll only bring out the gold diggers. You should instead ask to borrow the camry. If that bitch can handle you driving a 20 year old camry, then shes a keeper. Make sure to anal her first.

Edit: my stable of old hags dont look like twice, they look like thrice or more…… all advanced aged and shrivelled up….. personalities. Does that interest you? Middle age hoes pre menopausal ? They probably need their instruments tuned and adjusted. You could be their hummmmm heeenn (clam) guy

Probably poor hygiene, not well put together, and cannot string two sentences together. After all, he is on Revscene, sooo.....

[supafamous]

According to my friends, my current type is girls who look like TWICE but better.

That's a high bar man - most of those girls are 8s-9s.

Do they also have to dance as well as them and have good jobs like them?

[68style]

Gerbs needs to date a stripper

[spoon.ek9]

so.... back to the point of this thread lol.

I had mentioned I had gained back a few pounds but now I'm happy to report I've gone back down thanks to some food discipline. Also starting to increase my exercise as I have been a tad lazy following xmas break in that area.

[Badhobz]

Im happy to report im fatter than ever and feeling great!

Gym for 4-5 times a week for the past 2+ years.... absolutely buckus result. zero. zip. zilch. yes i can run 5mph for 45 minutes, so what big whoop. yes i can bench 240lbs, so what big whoop. i havent improved or surpassed these numbers for over a year.

Whatever, i dont even care anymore. eat my dick bitches, or not, i got shit to do.

[spoon.ek9]

Your stats are better than mine haha. I sure as shit can't run for 45mins straight, no matter how slow.

[Badhobz]

I got decent cardio but I cursed myself. As soon as I wrote that shit I twisted my knee doing the run at the gym today. Now my knee cap hurts like peter griffin

[noclue]

I got decent cardio but I cursed myself. As soon as I wrote that shit I twisted my knee doing the run at the gym today. Now my knee cap hurts like peter griffin

Incline treadmill or stairmaster lower impact no?

[red kryptonite]

lol make sure u do the stairmaster and not the stepmaster, that shit is hella :gay:

cheat day!!! god i miss chinese food.

https://tnstatic.net/attachments/screenshot-2026-01-26-233110-png.1181542/

[bcrdukes]

Holy, which restaurant is this?

I will be in Victoria from June 25 to July 8! RS Meet in Victoria!

[red kryptonite]

golden city, hit me up and we'll go !!

[donk.]

According to my friends, my current type is girls who look like TWICE but better.



Go to thailand, i think you might be g a y

[donk.]

Gerbs needs to date a stripper

You want him to experience batshit crazy?

https://www.revscene.net/forums/624518-halloween-coming-soon-37.html

Posts 913 and 931

[BIC_BAWS]

I'd rather do tech interviews, get lowballed $90K in-office all week than listen to another girl say "are you a provider" and "as you should"

Holy fuck relatable. I gave my friend a lift from Surrey to NVan and she asked for a lift for her friend too. Her friend (bitch) said smt that annoyed me, following up with both those things and I'm like... I didn't have to drive you. The bus stop is right there. She STFU real quick.

This bitch is like mid-to-late 30s, ran through with 2 kids who she doesn't have custody of, cheated on her ex-husband, and is saying shit like "as you should"? LMFAO. Get a grip lady. She also mentioned how she wants to date a provider, as all her money should go to her kids (which is valid, but gl with that). Yapped about how her makeup and "looking this good" is expensive, but also conveniently forgets how men usually take care of all the driving, which is also expensive.

I recently found out that she matched with this guy on Hinge and they talked about going to the Philippines together. But she had the expectation that he would pay for everything incl her airfare.. from a dude she hasn't met IRL yet lol. Bro got the ick and GTFO.

If this is what dating outlook looks like in your 30s... I'm already over it.

[EvoFire]

The later 30s chick, that's definitely not the norm. Some of you guys might be hanging out with the wrong crew and meeting the wrong chicks.

[Badhobz]

as you get older, the left overs are often flawed, bruised, or blemished products that are not appealing and refunded clearance items.

Therefore date younger! not epstine kinda younger, but young enough that its still good pickings. nobody wants a middle age cunt.
Try and not blow your brains out when they start using their young people jargon... on fleek?

[RabidRat]

Uh yeah. You guys need to be screening out these outlier crazies.

By mid-late-30s the pool should be mostly the ones who ultra-focused on their career and/or fairly introverted. And now realizing "oh shit, time's ticking to have kids. it's now or never."

[Badhobz]

those career women are a gong show. often something seriously wrong with them and likely will step on you and anyone else to get ahead.

they'll micromanage your life just like they do their underlings at work. no fun

[Gerbs]

Plus having an LC doesnt help on dates, it’ll only bring out the gold diggers. You should instead ask to borrow the camry. If that bitch can handle you driving a 20 year old camry, then shes a keeper. Make sure to anal her first.


The LC is for me and donk to zoom around :awwyeah:

Go to thailand, i think you might be g a y

We love tall white guys in corvettes

That's a high bar man - most of those girls are 8s-9s.

Do they also have to dance as well as them and have good jobs like them?

I haven't had trouble finding them recently and I've dated a few handfuls now. What's crazy is we're dipping into 2000's babies, but only 4-6 year age gap.

[Gerbs]

Are you afraid of non-Asian girls, or something? Maybe that's what your problem is.

Guy who's over 6', lives on his own, is somewhat vain (but in a good way, which matters to people under 30), travels a lot, makes 6 figures and can't "find" a woman - it doesn't add up. Speaking from experience, all of these things should result in the rizz that is probably the most important thing in finding someone.

Like, good on you for focusing on your health and achieving your goals, but do it for yourself, instead of chasing something/someone.

I'm recently single, we'll worry when we hit 2 years haha.

We're tryna find a good partner, if we're tryna find average and above women, you can have a date everyday for a year with those stats lol.

[mikemhg]

My GF's Asian girlfriends all started indoctrinating all that "provider", "traditional Asian style cost arrangement" narratives in her head as we've been going through our issues. The funny thing, all of these women are single and can't keep a man for more then a few months at a time based on their unrealistic expectations, it's like the blind leading the blind.

Gerb's problem is that he only likes Asian chicks, and specific kind at that, which is silly.

A positive relationship is a partnership, not someone having a dependent, especially when both parties make good income and have commensurate earning potential. It's the only way you can get ahead in a city like Vancouver in 2026.

Run away from women with those unrealistic expectations, it will only result in resentment.

[unit]

man im so glad im not single hearing about the dating scene these days.

[GS8]

All these 'strong, independent female girl-boss career women' types start biologically rusting out in their 30s and by their 40s, the rust has spread far and wide.

And as car guys, we know it isn't worth restoring something when the rust has taken over.

Now if they become escorts, sure, drive it till their wheels fall off :awesom:

[bcrdukes]

I would reframe "escorts" to "professional companions." Let's not forget the value basis of paid companionship! :D

[MarkyMark]

Any chick that's 35+ years old and wants to leave a good dude in a long term relationship to go chase some bullshit dream of being treated like a princess better look like Ana De Armas or she's going to have a rough go out there. Dudes that can provide that lifestyle are looking at chicks 10 years younger than you for any serious relationship.

Women logic of listening to their single friends for any kind of dating advice is hilarious.

[RabidRat]

All these 'strong, independent female girl-boss career women' types start biologically rusting out in their 30s and by their 40s, the rust has spread far and wide.

And as car guys, we know it isn't worth restoring something when the rust has taken over.

Now if they become escorts, sure, drive it till their wheels fall off :awesom:

:lol dang

[unit]

All these 'strong, independent female girl-boss career women' types start biologically rusting out in their 30s and by their 40s, the rust has spread far and wide.

And as car guys, we know it isn't worth restoring something when the rust has taken over.

Now if they become escorts, sure, drive it till their wheels fall off :awesom:

thats the most savage thing i've read on RS wow

[Badhobz]

Somebody call a bunch of feminists and get their opinions on this….. oh wait their opinions don’t matter.

[Gerbs]

My GF's Asian girlfriends all started indoctrinating all that "provider", "traditional Asian style cost arrangement" narratives in her head as we've been going through our issues. The funny thing, all of these women are single and can't keep a man for more then a few months at a time based on their unrealistic expectations, it's like the blind leading the blind.

Gerb's problem is that he only likes Asian chicks, and specific kind at that, which is silly.


A friend of mine got back together with their fiance after realizing she didn't care about the "provider" and "as he should" movement. Realized it was all his single gf's + social media brain washing her to obtain a certain type of dude.


I'd date all asians + white if I could pull. Historically it's been only 80% chinese/korean

[quasi]

man im so glad im not single hearing about the dating scene these days.

The last time I was single, No Digity, 1979, and Ironic were on the top 100 Billboards. If anything happens to my wife I'll just live the rest of my days alone, it seems crazy out there.

[GLOW]

redscene - single women keep other women single

[EvoFire]

So back on topic.

I did my Dexa today and it came back at 24.8% body fat, which is within expectation for me as I was guesstimating 25-28%.

I'm below average for all metrics (towards negative side of the scale) but within range. Only outlier for me was bone density which took me by surprise a little.

Here's where I have certain reservations. On the image included I could very clearly see between my legs it was reading my scrunched up shorts as fat. I already chose a less baggy pair of shorts but it still read like that. I also have questions on how well calibrated the machine is as I am of the mind that this is like a dyno for a car. Every machine is going to read differently and it probably isn't good idea to compare your results across different machines.

Another bit I thought was interesting was it read me as 162lbs. On a scale I weigh in at 172 (yesterday at the gym) with shoes and a sweater and my phone. Even if you take everything off I'm not carrying 10lbs of dead weight, maybe 5lbs. My friend who went with me registered 4-5lbs below his scale weight, but I think he weighs at home without shoes. So the DEXA scan is reading about 5lbs avg below a typical scale.

At first we were like, we'll do this again in a year. But we might do it in a shorter time frame. They said they are looking to open one around Brentwood soon so hopefully less sketchy part of town.

So while I have the mentality of taking the data with a bit of salt, I think I am going to focus on bone density as it's a strong determination of health as I age.

[spoon.ek9]

I totally forgot what thread I was in reading all the previous posts lol. We need a modern dating thread :lol

I have lots to say on the topic still haha




Minor news but I have done some exercise for 3 days in a row now. I'm making the commitment I used to when we had a gym at the hospital. Do a little each day (plus my usual walking).

[BIC_BAWS]

It's supposed to be SIO, but very few of us stick to topic of thread title lol.



Sent from my CPH2655 using Tapatalk

[supafamous]

So back on topic.

I did my Dexa today and it came back at 24.8% body fat, which is within expectation for me as I was guesstimating 25-28%.

I'm below average for all metrics (towards negative side of the scale) but within range. Only outlier for me was bone density which took me by surprise a little.

Another bit I thought was interesting was it read me as 162lbs. On a scale I weigh in at 172 (yesterday at the gym) with shoes and a sweater and my phone. Even if you take everything off I'm not carrying 10lbs of dead weight, maybe 5lbs. My friend who went with me registered 4-5lbs below his scale weight, but I think he weighs at home without shoes. So the DEXA scan is reading about 5lbs avg below a typical scale.

Was it more or less barebones than what I described? Haha

FWIW, re: weight - they reported me at 170lbs with a "machine scanned weight" of 168.6lb which matched my expectation (my at home morning weigh in had me at 169 that day). I was wearing a pair of khaki pants and a t-shirt and re-looking at my scan mine looks alright.

[Traum]

I totally forgot what thread I was in reading all the previous posts lol. We need a modern dating thread :lol

I have lots to say on the topic still haha

Isn't this thread what you are looking for?

https://www.revscene.net/forums/538959-speak-out-1017.html

[djstyles]

Just go to Thailand and become a full blown sex tourist like I did last November :lawl:

[Gerbs]

So back on topic.

Another bit I thought was interesting was it read me as 162lbs. On a scale I weigh in at 172 (yesterday at the gym) with shoes and a sweater and my phone. Even if you take everything off I'm not carrying 10lbs of dead weight, maybe 5lbs. My friend who went with me registered 4-5lbs below his scale weight, but I think he weighs at home without shoes. So the DEXA scan is reading about 5lbs avg below a typical scale.


Complained about the same and he said use it as a before/after tool and not a conclusion.

But I had half my head cut off, the machine can only read up to 190CM lmao

[spoon.ek9]

Isn't this thread what you are looking for?

https://www.revscene.net/forums/538959-speak-out-1017.html

That thread was started ages ago. Modern dating is so much worse than how it used to be! Thus, I think a new thread discussing modern issues would be more relevant. That's just my opinion though.

[Badhobz]

Just go to Thailand and become a full blown sex tourist like I did last November :lawl:

:fuckyea:You're doing it right! :fuckyea:

[djstyles]

:fuckyea:You're doing it right! :fuckyea:

Thailand unleashed something in me I didn't know was there :awwyeah:

[spoon.ek9]

sounds like you should start a thread in NSFW for that :lol

[EvoFire]

Was it more or less barebones than what I described? Haha

FWIW, re: weight - they reported me at 170lbs with a "machine scanned weight" of 168.6lb which matched my expectation (my at home morning weigh in had me at 169 that day). I was wearing a pair of khaki pants and a t-shirt and re-looking at my scan mine looks alright.

Sketchy AF just as Mike said. They keep the doors locked I'm guessing cause too many people just barged in. My lean body mass honestly was lower than I expected, and I'm questioning if I need to start taking calcium supplements now :pokerface:

Complained about the same and he said use it as a before/after tool and not a conclusion.

But I had half my head cut off, the machine can only read up to 190CM lmao

Tall ppl problems. There's a dad in my son's TKD class who doesn't fit through doors without bending down around it. I can't imagine bed shopping.

[donk.]

Just go to Thailand and become a full blown sex tourist like I did last November :lawl:

No thread?

Ban

[mikemhg]

Thailand unleashed something in me I didn't know was there :awwyeah:

The love for ladyboys?

[djstyles]

The love for ladyboys?

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20260128/b8c6d0982d956328d904653c6685314e.gif

[ssjGoku69]

djstyles discovered he wanted to become the asian girl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uDL2KCiQjg

[Gerbs]

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/55067816056_4b8c1aa1bd_z.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2rU9Xbq)


- Wanted to quit after 1KM
- 1mm rain
- already tired from pickleball + gym
- didn’t hit protein yesterday
- caloric deficit
- fasted + poor sleep
- Tried to sprint the last KM, had the energy to do so, so maybe had another 5-10KM in the tank.

Did my first half to celebrate 40 runs lifetime, did seven 10km runs before this.

[unit]

gj dude. seems a little mad to do a half just doing circles around a park. how many loops?

[EvoFire]

That's a brutal run with the pollution right next to major roads though. I ran around the Killarney community center and never again. Running along Rupert/Kerr was so bad, any gains you had from exercise you lose from breathing in all the fumes.

[spoon.ek9]

I want to throw up just looking at the distance you ran :Puke:

[Badhobz]

just thinking about you running around for no reason makes me tired.

All this so you can get laid !?!? the energy expenditure alone isnt worth it.

man the amount of food $$ it costs to replenish that energy deficit is more than banging hookers.

[spoon.ek9]

I remember being asked (while at work) if I was working out because I'm ready date again. I actually lol'd because that is absolutely NOT the reason I was lifting weights at all. The idea itself seemed absurd and still seems ridiculous to me now. IMO your health is about you and it's for you. But I guess if it helps motivate you then sure go ahead but I don't think in the long run this mentality will benefit you.

[noclue]

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/55067816056_4b8c1aa1bd_z.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2rU9Xbq)


- Wanted to quit after 1KM
- 1mm rain
- already tired from pickleball + gym
- didn’t hit protein yesterday
- caloric deficit
- fasted + poor sleep
- Tried to sprint the last KM, had the energy to do so, so maybe had another 5-10KM in the tank.

Did my first half to celebrate 40 runs lifetime, did seven 10km runs before this.

Admiring your bpm, did you do lots of zone 2?

[Tapioca]

I hear the Lululemon Seawheeze is back.

Are you training for that, Gerbs?

[Gerbs]

Admiring your bpm, did you do lots of zone 2?

I tried doing the zone 2 thing, but because I'm a beginner my HR was stuck at 155-170 for 6:30-7:00 easy runs. My friends said just run as fast as you want as long as it's easy and it feels like you can go forever.

HR went down around run 33 to 149-159. But also cardio for all my sports feels like I have unlimited energy now.

I hear the Lululemon Seawheeze is back.

Are you training for that, Gerbs?

I just started running 3 months ago, not training for anything lol. Only doing it because I hate running and I get softer by the day if I don't do difficult things.

I'll collect all the local race medals once I clear
- 25min 5KM
- 50min 10KM
- 30KM casually

I want to throw up just looking at the distance you ran :Puke:

Gymmed after too! Surprisingly not sore or tired at all, perks of being young I guess.

[unit]

hate to break it to you but race medals for 10k don't start till like sub 40m even for the smallest races! you should try the parkrun 5k tho. its timed and free.

[Gerbs]

Sorry, race for medals as in casually join a full marathon and finish with a mid time. Running will always be for heart health.

I hate running and don't care for it. The amount of volume and dedication to get sub 45min 10KM or sub 22 5KM is insane. My neighbour placed pretty well at an ultra recently and she barely touches 40Min 10KM



Golf and volleyball is #1 priority!

Maybe, we'll hyrox one time to kick off 30s.

[unit]

i was running sub 50 with about 3-4 months of dedicated training in my 30s, maybe about 46-47m or so... a lot of 5k speedwork to get there, i don't think i could do that again.
still some people with natural athleticism would wipe the floor with me who don't even run. running has so much to do with natural biomechanics than it has to do with cardio, its crazy.

[Tapioca]

i was running sub 50 with about 3-4 months of dedicated training in my 30s, maybe about 46-47m or so... a lot of 5k speedwork to get there, i don't think i could do that again.
still some people with natural athleticism would wipe the floor with me who don't even run. running has so much to do with natural biomechanics than it has to do with cardio, its crazy.

Yeah, some people are just gifted.

For what it's worth, I ran a half-marathon in 1:47 in my 30s. My quickest 10K time was 47:xx.

Sub-50 10K would be phenomenal in my 40s.

[unit]

me too, 1:47 at the bmo half. it's not crazy impressive but it's still my uncle rico / al bundy moment

then there's my friend who literally doesnt run but can run a low 40s 10k any time he wants

[Gerbs]

i was running sub 50 with about 3-4 months of dedicated training in my 30s, maybe about 46-47m or so... a lot of 5k speedwork to get there, i don't think i could do that again.
still some people with natural athleticism would wipe the floor with me who don't even run. running has so much to do with natural biomechanics than it has to do with cardio, its crazy.

I will chase sub 60min and then sub 50min 10KM on your behalf. Running at 220-230lbs vs 199lbs atm is night and day difference, joints feel so much better. Although, it does start creaking after 15KM.

Gonna spam leg days + tempo to push my pace down. I've been having outer meniscus knee pain until I started doing split squats again. Had to cancel vball cause I couldn't even jump for 2-3 days after a 3KM run

[SSM_DC5]

....

... volleyball is #1 priority!

... .

Ever need a sub?:peek:

[mikemhg]

https://i.ibb.co/kgG2kSj2/Dexa.png

No wonder I sink in the water like a lead brick :lol

This is kind of cool about the Dexa Scan, it reveals if you have mild scoliosis :lol

Supa, what did yours look like?

[EvoFire]

I have the curved spine too. Almost feels like everyone would have it unless you are ambidextrous

[SSM_DC5]

Not sure if trolling..... No blue BONEr and no golden FAT dong. I don't think that's you in that pic!

[Gerbs]

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/55070600422_991f17a10e_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2rUpdSJ)

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/55070603657_1aa1273431_b.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2rUpeQv)

Thought it was only me with that spine tilt.

Gonna re-scan again hopefully in March, if I hit 189 or look leaner. Hitting protein + deficit in the last 10 weeks, visually looks like I re-comped 3-4% of body fat even at 205lbs.

Haven't done leg day in close to 2-3 years but all the fat loss has been legs first. Just want mike's traps and shoulders, yes homo

[unit]

I have mild rotational scoliosis, it actually wreaks havoc on my life.
If i dont stretch just about daily then my side gets really tight and eventually its so uncomfortable and even painful. Sucks!

[EvoFire]

More like a, do you guys have any input type of post.

Ever since I hurt my hand in April of last year, on a suggestion of a workout buddy I've taken collagen as a thing to help with joints and soft tissue and cartilage health. Since the whole low bone density discovery with the DEXA scan I kind of dove into it a little more and on a bit of a whim yesterday, bought the organika marine collagen powder since it was on sale.

I haven't started using it and just put it away but it's a collagen/protein powder, and it needs to be mixed with stuff. I just feel all of a sudden I am at this next stage of life where I can't just leave my body be anymore and actually need to go out of my way to help it. Also looking at calcium supplements and looking into the whole bit where you need to take enough magnesium with it so you don't end up with inflammation.

[Badhobz]

You hurt your hand ?

Roast puffery hurt his hand too

……

Stop jerking each other off you bunch of faggots

[Traum]

I don't have any good recommendations or input on collagen supplements -- I just tend to buy whichever cheapest collagen supplement product that is on sale at Costco when I start to run short. And I am only doing it for the super vain reason of trying to have better skin / less wrinkles LOL~ No idea how well that is working, since I am still gradually getting old LOL~

On the other hand, I quite firmly believe that NMN supplements have been working very well for me. Since I started taking it, I noticed that my energy level and mental clarity have improved. I wouldn't say it is a night and day difference, but it certainly felt like a noticeable difference, so it might be something other RSers could try as well.

[EvoFire]

I don't have any good recommendations or input on collagen supplements -- I just tend to buy whichever cheapest collagen supplement product that is on sale at Costco when I start to run short. And I am only doing it for the super vain reason of trying to have better skin / less wrinkles LOL~ No idea how well that is working, since I am still gradually getting old LOL~

On the other hand, I quite firmly believe that NMN supplements have been working very well for me. Since I started taking it, I noticed that my energy level and mental clarity have improved. I wouldn't say it is a night and day difference, but it certainly felt like a noticeable difference, so it might be something other RSers could try as well.

Where are you getting your NMN? That's the first time I've heard of it.

[Traum]

My current batch (of NMN) is just purchased from Costco -- made by Webber Naturals. It was on sale, so I stocked up LOL~

[Badhobz]

Da fuck is nmn ?! Some sort of penis cult ? Nxvm ??

[EvoFire]

My current batch (of NMN) is just purchased from Costco -- made by Webber Naturals. It was on sale, so I stocked up LOL~

I'll do some research and keep an eye out.

[bcrdukes]

I'm starting to think this thread is revealing who here is a hypochondriac more than anything. :inoutugh:

[Gerbs]

Got convinced to register for the seawheeze, I am now a future track star.


Knees and ankles hurt though, can't run and play vball, so gonna drop vball lol

[donk.]

Got convinced to register for the seawheeze, I am now a future track star.


Knees and ankles hurt though, can't run and play vball, so gonna drop vball lol

Careful with Vball, had a coworker play indoor (not sand), and according to him one of his knees had some issues due to it, ended up going for surgery, his recovery has been double what it should have been, he is still in the office and not field (hvac) due to that

Its all downhill from 30 :okay:

[bcrdukes]

Anecdotally, two of my high school friends went through a similar experience as described by donk. Both grew up playing vball but they both went on to play recreational league on sand for many years. Both ended up needing surgery at around the same time, 8 months apart from each other. Last I spoke to them, their lives aren't the same.

Just food for thought.

[unit]

another thing to be careful with mike and gerbs, if you have scoliosis then compressive exercises like squats might be something to be careful with, especially when going heavy.
consider talking to your doctor or physio about it.

[Badhobz]

consider talking to your doctor or physio about it.

Consider asking your Doctor or health care professional about it. Ask if squatting is right for you. Side effects may include flatulence, irritable bowel syndrome, anal fissures, bowel movements, and other undesired social stigma related to looking like a chinaman or woman in a parking lot.

Consistent usage of squatting may lead to further medical conditions such as nammer-itius, squattypotty, and other complicated asian and occasional Slavic in an Adidas jumpsuit based connotations.

[68style]

Squatting leads to smoking at the back door of shady restaurants too

[Gerbs]

Careful with Vball, had a coworker play indoor (not sand), and according to him one of his knees had some issues due to it, ended up going for surgery, his recovery has been double what it should have been, he is still in the office and not field (hvac) due to that

Its all downhill from 30 :okay:

Gg, yesterday a girl on my team rolled her ankles into the post where the net is. Out for unknown, potentially dropping outta BMO marathon, peak 30's. Might have to take her bib.

I'm going to reduce play within the next 1-2 years down to max 1x a week and maybe phase out completely, it's a young mans sport. I don't wanna do an ACL or Achilles surgery, already tore a pec.

another thing to be careful with mike and gerbs, if you have scoliosis then compressive exercises like squats might be something to be careful with, especially when going heavy.
consider talking to your doctor or physio about it.

I've stopped squatting in 2022ish, hit 385lbs, then realized I don't care enough for 405lbs. Haven't done a leg day since lool

[mikemhg]

I have to squat with my heels elevated due to tight calves, hips, and wear and tear from track and field, and lifting for a little over 20 years now, all that crap.

I find a band around the quads while squatting also helps with knee pain, I'm sure my slightly curved spine could be the culprit, but more likely tight hips.

I don't go higher than 315lbs (3 plates) anymore when going heavy, and usually hang around 225-275lbs for higher rep work (12-15 reps).

No need to wag the cock about anymore, lower weight with higher reps still elicits good size gains without the risk of injury and pain.

I always tell older guys who ask me shit at the gym, don't chase these stupid 20 year-olds doing 1RMs all the time.

Fuck em, do you.

[Gerbs]

I always tell older guys who ask me shit at the gym, don't chase these stupid 20 year-olds doing 1RMs all the time.

Fuck em, do you.

Chasing 1RMs was fun though, lifting inflation is nuts these days with how solid programming is these days. Compared to spamming starting strength, 5x5 or 5/3/1


315lb - > new 275 bench

455lb - > new 365 sqwat

600lb - > new 405 DL

[EvoFire]

Chasing 1RMs was fun though, lifting inflation is nuts these days with how solid programming is these days. Compared to spamming starting strength, 5x5 or 5/3/1


315lb - > new 275 bench

455lb - > new 365 sqwat

600lb - > new 405 DL

I did that before, it was fun when I was 30. The risk is much higher now that I'm closing on 40 with me noticing injuries happen more often and take longer to heal.

[bcuzracecarz]

Finally broke the 200lb barrier for the first time in probably 10 years. 199.4lbs. This counting calorie thing actually works, stronger all together, feeling much better.

[68style]

Congrats!!

[underscore]

At what age did you guys start getting your cholesterol checked if you have a family history of it being high?

[red kryptonite]

keep up the hard work :thumbs:

i switched out bike and stairmaster for swimming. i havent swam lanes in like 20 years, forgotten all the proper breathing techniques, after 150m i was gasping for air.

[Badhobz]

At what age did you guys start getting your cholesterol checked if you have a family history of it being high?

10 years old

keep up the hard work :thumbs:

i switched out bike and stairmaster for swimming. i havent swam lanes in like 20 years, forgotten all the proper breathing techniques, after 150m i was gasping for air.

Don’t drown before Chinese new year. Berry Brad juju

[bcrdukes]

10 years old

Asians should have it checked the day they are born, along with diabetes and blood pressure. :badpokerface:

White people are generally ok. :lol

[supafamous]

At what age did you guys start getting your cholesterol checked if you have a family history of it being high?

Not cholesterol in my case but my family has a history of type 2 diabetes so I started annual blood tests at age 45. I did get checked around age 40 for cholesterol as my optometrist noticed more build up in my eyes than expected during my exam and suggested that I may have high cholesterol (she was right).

[winson604]

I have to squat with my heels elevated due to tight calves, hips, and wear and tear from track and field, and lifting for a little over 20 years now, all that crap.

I find a band around the quads while squatting also helps with knee pain, I'm sure my slightly curved spine could be the culprit, but more likely tight hips.

I don't go higher than 315lbs (3 plates) anymore when going heavy, and usually hang around 225-275lbs for higher rep work (12-15 reps).

No need to wag the cock about anymore, lower weight with higher reps still elicits good size gains without the risk of injury and pain.

I always tell older guys who ask me shit at the gym, don't chase these stupid 20 year-olds doing 1RMs all the time.

Fuck em, do you.

Since I go to the gym late at night the group of regulars is much smaller and everyone sort of knows everyone. Even though the young lads who go at this time think I'm young and get shocked when I tell them I'm in my 40's I'm seen as one of the older wiser dudes that get asked about workout advice. That and despite me not lifting max I'm still lifting more than anyone else (at least for push exercises) and I just constantly remind them don't bother ego lifting and if they're serious about lifting it'll be a life long thing so what's the rush? I'm not saying don't challenge yourself but those guys who try cranking out 1 rep maxes on every single work or the ones who ego lift with terrible unsafe form there's no need for that. Having been in the gym for years I can tell you nobody really give a shit how much you lift, yea you'll get the odd holy shit man that's impressive but really nobody gives 2 shits.

[bcuzracecarz]

Hobz did you go to fat camp as a kid?

[Badhobz]

fat camp!?!? i stole fucking slurpees from 7/11's growing up bro. you think my parents had money for FAT CAMP!?!!?

our family sentra didnt even have power windows or door locks... fucking useless parents.

[red kryptonite]

Don’t drown before Chinese new year. Berry Brad juju

If a lifeguard had to jump in for me, I would die from embarrassment and not for drowning.
I see a lot of grown ass cha los have the lifeguards jump in for them.

[Gerbs]

I did that before, it was fun when I was 30. The risk is much higher now that I'm closing on 40 with me noticing injuries happen more often and take longer to heal.

Yeah, once you hit anywhere remotely close, it's meh.

Now it's all about how long I can keep myself healthy to enjoy my day 2 day life.

Finally broke the 200lb barrier for the first time in probably 10 years. 199.4lbs. This counting calorie thing actually works, stronger all together, feeling much better.

bruh sub 200 feels so good on the joints / tendons, cardio gains too

Counting calorie is the only true way

[EvoFire]

I'm not genetically predisposed to be that big, and I don't have the height that makes me heavy. As long as I'm not eating ridiculous I really can't go over 200lbs, and I eat plenty of junk. Chips all the time, fried chicken at least once a month, sodas whenever I feel like.

[spoon.ek9]

I can't imagine eating myself into being 200lbs+ lol

Absolute worst I've done is this year at 166lbs (end of day, full of food and fluids)

[Badhobz]

O hai !!!

[noclue]

my cousin got one of those continuous glucose monitors and what an eye-opener of regular things we eat that affects blood sugar. Sushi and anything rice and rice-related (mochi, rice noodles etc) are quite the spike. brown rice didnt really make a dent either.

[red kryptonite]

I can't imagine eating myself into being 200lbs+ lol


i would love to eat myself to 200+ lbs.
been swimming for a week and im able to do 200m continuously.

[RabidRat]

my cousin got one of those continuous glucose monitors and what an eye-opener of regular things we eat that affects blood sugar. Sushi and anything rice and rice-related (mochi, rice noodles etc) are quite the spike. brown rice didnt really make a dent either.

Oh didn't realize brown rice made such a difference.

Did you find the same with whole grain bread?

[Traum]

been swimming for a week and im able to do 200m continuously.
Good for you to be able to do 200m continuously!

I took my family to swim last year, and while they were playing around in the water, I sneaked off to see how many lengths I can still do. I used to swim a LOT when I was in HS and ugrad, which of course, was eons ago LOL~

- first 50m felt great
- felt the energy levels dropping fast over the course of the 2nd 50m
- lungs were absolutely burning up in the last 50m, and my arms, shoulders, and legs were all really, really tired. That only made my form even more ugly, which in turn made it more difficult to swim through the final 50m LOL~

That last 50m was done simply out of sheer will LOL~

My old swimming coach would have been sooooo disappointed in the slob that I have become LOL~

[Traum]

My current batch (of NMN) is just purchased from Costco -- made by Webber Naturals. It was on sale, so I stocked up LOL~
FWIW, it's on sale at Costco until Feb 15:

https://west.cocowest1.ca/2026/02/WEBBER_NATURALS_NMN_150_MG_100_CAPSULES_20260206_2 42827.jpeg

[N.V.M.]

At what age did you guys start getting your cholesterol checked if you have a family history of it being high?

when my surgeons cut into my left thigh to rob an artery to replace the 4 big ones around my heart.

[red kryptonite]

Good for you to be able to do 200m continuously!

I took my family to swim last year, and while they were playing around in the water, I sneaked off to see how many lengths I can still do. I used to swim a LOT when I was in HS and ugrad, which of course, was eons ago LOL~

- first 50m felt great
- felt the energy levels dropping fast over the course of the 2nd 50m
- lungs were absolutely burning up in the last 50m, and my arms, shoulders, and legs were all really, really tired. That only made my form even more ugly, which in turn made it more difficult to swim through the final 50m LOL~

That last 50m was done simply out of sheer will LOL~

My old swimming coach would have been sooooo disappointed in the slob that I have become LOL~

i was only able to add another 50m at the cost of speed, which is fine by me.

week 10 check in: only down 4.6lbs, kinda disappointed but not surprised. i lost a week to bad diet and less time at the gym. i had friends visit from out of town so the routine went to shit. oh well, still gotta live my life.

after they left i got back on track!

diet: not tracking calories but roughly reduced to 1600/day. no sugar no snacking. 2 meals within a 8 hour eating window.
workout: eased up abit because i dont want to risk injury before vacation.
morning: 30 mins lighter weights superset style, 1000m swim 5 rounds of 200m continuous laps, 1 hour sauna.

15lbs to go in 4 weeks.

https://tnstatic.net/attachments/screenshot-2026-02-08-222743-png.1185072/

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[Badhobz]

Look at all that delicious gym food !!!! Did you eat that at the gym too ?!

[bcrdukes]

15lbs to go in 4 weeks.

Perfect for your China trip and marriage proposal! :D

[Traum]

week 10 check in: only down 4.6lbs, kinda disappointed but not surprised. i lost a week to bad diet and less time at the gym. i had friends visit from out of town so the routine went to shit. oh well, still gotta live my life.

That does not look like a bad diet at all! You've got fish; you've got greens and eggs; you've got a little bit of carbs as well. It looks balanced enough to me!

[6793026]

props to you. You're also spending a ton of nice fish and fish and fish.

I guess if i eat what you did, i'll really cut down on oil / carbs as well.

chinese new year is coming up and it's -35 here in toronto and boy carbs is just too good... LOL
https://casuallypeckish.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Nuo-mi-fan-Chinese-sticky-rice-1.jpg

https://www.seriouseats.com/thmb/DWy-hlEMk3b0pmlsdLwfRMojh_s=/1500x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/20230601-SEA-Claypot-AmandaSuarez-Step7-33e274b305eb499fa7561bbce4f7b4fa.jpg

https://cdn.store-assets.com/s/332265/i/68632884.jpeg?width=1024

i gotta eat all these to stay warmmm...

[RabidRat]

props to you. You're also spending a ton of nice fish and fish and fish.

I guess if i eat what you did, i'll really cut down on oil / carbs as well.

chinese new year is coming up and it's -35 here in toronto and boy carbs is just too good... LOL
https://casuallypeckish.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Nuo-mi-fan-Chinese-sticky-rice-1.jpg


Is this from somewhere local?? That looks hella good.

[Badhobz]

CRUNCHY RICE BOTTOM FAN JUUUUUUU !!!!!!!!! PUT IN MA STOMACH NAO!

[bcrdukes]

Is this from somewhere local?? That looks hella good.

I think he pulled that from a blog, but if you're into clay pot rice, we found a neat HK cafe that does a good job in North York (Bayview/Finch area) called Cheeky Chat Eatery (https://maps.app.goo.gl/FNzXfo2y9R8JHTR28) (If you can read Chinese, the name is pretty neat.)

Disclaimer: We only tried their clay pot rice once. :D

[red kryptonite]

Look at all that delicious gym food !!!! Did you eat that at the gym too ?!

If only I was lucky enough to have bitches feed me at the gym.

That does not look like a bad diet at all! You've got fish; you've got greens and eggs; you've got a little bit of carbs as well. It looks balanced enough to me!
That’s me being on track last week. The coming 4 weeks I really have to dial it in. Seafood and chicken breast and lots of veggies and cutting out processed carbs completely.

[RabidRat]

I think he pulled that from a blog, but if you're into clay pot rice, we found a neat HK cafe that does a good job in North York (Bayview/Finch area) called Cheeky Chat Eatery (https://maps.app.goo.gl/FNzXfo2y9R8JHTR28) (If you can read Chinese, the name is pretty neat.)

Disclaimer: We only tried their clay pot rice once. :D

Holy crap, thank you!!

We pass by that plaza allll the time. I never knew there was anything there beyond Maxim!

[EvoFire]

I got a giant pink bruise on my triceps today, and last week when I last went to the gym. I didn't hit anything and it doesn't hurt, probably just blood vessels bursting. Guess I'm just old now.

[6793026]

Sorry those are just blog pics.

I exclusively make rice in clay pots cause we don't own a rice cooker and yes at times we make it on a lecruset and it's epic. Nice and slow does the trick.

Persians also makes these as well but it's not the same without the oil and fat from the sausages... I've tried making Tahdig and it's just as epic. (can't find my pic but it's the one below)
https://ottolenghi.co.uk/cdn/shop/files/Herby_tahdig_with_trout_and_preserved_lemon_yoghur t.jpg?v=1731411023

[spoon.ek9]

^ I had that in a Persian restaurant in North Van. Chinese claypot rice is 100x better tasting lol.

[Gerbs]

Hurt my foot from landing, feelings like a mini fracture today + my knees decided to turn off and bucket again at vball, thought that was gonna be a life ending injury but nothing happened.




PR'd on my 10KM 1:04 - > 58:40 on a 15KM run.

[6793026]

^ I had that in a Persian restaurant in North Van. Chinese claypot rice is 100x better tasting lol.

it's cause of all the fat. YOu can't feed a family of 10 on clay pot but you can do it for Tardig. can't dig up a picture of my le cruset but you get the drift.

[spoon.ek9]

clay pot rice in asia is way cheaper than here, you could potentially feed the fam lol. but yeah, they pour oil down the sides to give the rice an extra crisp to it. super unhealthy but hella tasty!

[EvoFire]

Cause I am out of job, so that means two things.

1) I have more time than usual
2) I have no money

Which means I don't want to have to pay for the gym everyday but I could experiment with different exercises. I started running last week even though I hate it but it's uh.... mostly free last time I checked.

With that said I also have a water rower at home. I struggled to hit 2.5km in 10 mins when I was consistently rowing 3 days a week before Christmas. Somehow with running my cardio has improved so quickly that 1) when I started running I was struggling at around 800m, today I hit 1.5km on my first stint and managed 4km in 20mins. 2) I ran today, then did some calisthenics, again cause free, then I rowed. I hit that magical 2.5km in 10min mark. I wanted to die after but I made it.

So running really works? At least for me it does.

[Traum]

How long have you been running? Sounds like it couldn't have been more than 6 or 7 weeks.

Seeing results that quickly is very encouraging. Good stuff!

[Gerbs]

4KM in 20 mins is cracked haha

[EvoFire]

I ran for 3-4 weeks? The improvement week over week has been very impressive. The first week I could barely run more than a block to now running 10 blocks in one stint.

Ok I embellished a little and rounded up after checking on google, it was more like 3.6km lol. I'm hoping to hit 5km/20mins by the time I fly to Japan.

The telling thing for me is being able to row 2.5km/10m which I was trying and trying and trying before and couldn't hit.

EDIT: The thing that drives me crazy is, all this and it burns barely anything. 4km is maybe 150 calories. 10mins of rowing is about 100ish. My calisthenics workout is maybe another 80 calories? I burnt 300 calories if I am lucky.

[68style]

That seems off, what’s telling you that 4km is only 150 calories?

[N.V.M.]

Apple health tells me 20 minutes of rowing is about 80-90 cals.

[spoon.ek9]

y'all killling yourselves to burn similar amounts I can do with walking lol

[Badhobz]

jesus how fast do you walk!?!?

https://youtu.be/7PrRw5xSqF8?si=pK7bkUUq51sIjV4g&t=21

[EvoFire]

That seems off, what’s telling you that 4km is only 150 calories?

It's all ballpark, but hear me out. When I use a treadmill, 10-12mins gives me about 150 calorie burned. Everyone and everything tells me that's very optimistic, so I halved it to 150 calories burnt to 20 mins of running.

Rowing again is hard to validate, but I've read it going from something like 80-150 calories based on your intensity (reps and also resistance and stroke length). I was rowing pretty vigorously so I put it at 100 calories for 10 minutes.

Calisthenics is a hard one as it varies by exercises, but typically seems like 50-100 seems like a good ballpark. Out of all three the calisthenics exercises probably give me the hardest heartbeats after.

After all that said, I decided to total it up to a more conservative approach. Most people typically overestimate how many calories they are burning so I want to not do that so I don't end up patting myself on the back and go eat a box from fried chicken from LA chicken after every workout :lawl:

[red kryptonite]

agreed, calories burnt really depends on the person and fitness level. i use my tracker to see if i burnt more or less than yesterday, i dont trust the number. it says i burnt 400 calories sitting in the sauna for an hour, ya i wish.


been swimming for a week and im able to do 200m continuously.

i was chatting with the lifeguard today. she noticed ive been swimming alot and asked how im liking it. i told her its my 2nd week swimming and im having trouble breaking 200m and asked for a few pointers. she said first of all this is a rec center and the pools are 25m so youve only been doing 100m not 200m. :lawl:
well that was embarrassing :pokerface:

garlic rosemary lamb kabobs

https://tnstatic.net/attachments/screenshot-2026-02-13-004849-png.1186106/

https://tnstatic.net/attachments/screenshot-2026-02-08-222422-png.1186105/

[unit]

Apple health tells me 20 minutes of rowing is about 80-90 cals.

that seems insanely low... even 5 minutes of riding an average effort on a bike trainer is at least 40-50 calories

[68style]

Is there an option for resistance rowing on apple health? If it’s just tracking the motion that’s one thing but might not be factoring in the amount of resistance.

[RabidRat]

Subaru gives you a $750 rebate on a car, if you're willing to go do a triathlon.

Behold, the cheapest triathlon I have found:
Subaru Triathlon Series, Milton - June 7th
Try-A-Tri race: 375m Swim, 10km Bike, 2.5km Run
https://raceroster.com/events/2026/113062/subaru-triathlon-series-milton

lol who the fuck does Subaru think they are making you jump through hoops for $750 rebate.

Training for a Triathlon, Day 1
Subaru Triathlon Series, Milton - June 7th
Try-A-Tri race: 375m Swim, 10km Bike, *2.5km Run*

Conditions: -8°C, slushy
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Completion: 2.52 km
[xxxxxxxxxx]x

Pace: 7.4 km/h
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Mental Anguish: peak HR 191 bpm
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Athletic Condition: very obesity
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Weeks Remaining til Race Day: 15/16
[xxxxxxxxxx]

[whitev70r]

Curious ... this thread is about health & wellness. Much of it has to do with working out, physical, nutrition, weight, etc. Where and how do folks keep your mental health in good shape? Many companies now have counselling as a benefit (they pay 80%, you pay 20%) but if it is just high stress period or something not at the level of going to see a counsellor ... what do you all do?

Come to RS ... it's a stress reliever? :lol

[bcrdukes]

RS is my mental health space and has been for 20+ years.

Outside of that, I just shoot the breeze with friends I've made here over the years. I made 68style nearly choke on his drink after he saw my comment to Badhobz "Death to Shanghai." Works for him? Works for me. :D

I haven't tried any of these counselling services but from those I have met through work who have tried it, they end up being more weirder than they were, and they go coo coo for cocoa puffs after. So, yeah. :inoutugh:

[EvoFire]

Curious ... this thread is about health & wellness. Much of it has to do with working out, physical, nutrition, weight, etc. Where and how do folks keep your mental health in good shape? Many companies now have counselling as a benefit (they pay 80%, you pay 20%) but if it is just high stress period or something not at the level of going to see a counsellor ... what do you all do?

Come to RS ... it's a stress reliever? :lol

My mental health is in shambles.

RS is not a stress reliever, it's a procrastination enabler.

[bcrdukes]

garlic rosemary lamb kabobs

Where was this from? Gotta add it to my list when I'm in town later this summer! :)

[whitev70r]

True, coming onto RS, can be a cause of stress ... :lol.

[bcrdukes]

Yeah, I’ve somehow become a sexual deviant.

[Badhobz]

i talked to my dog before... good sounding board.

Lousy guangdong bastard!!!

ruff ruff!

yeah you tell your mama moochi!

IM NOT CRAZy, YOURE FUCKING CRAZY!!!

https://media.tenor.com/yiloFXMVk7gAAAAM/simpsons-maggie.gif

[68style]

Yeah, I’ve somehow become a sexual deviant.

Become? Isn’t that why you left BC?

[bcrdukes]

Deported

[Traum]

Except for the 2 week Christmas / New Year break, my mental health has been in shambles for the last 2+ months too.

Just too many things happening at work, at home, in life... and it doesn't help that my favourite escape -- the driving season -- is still 2 months away...

[6793026]

I'm married, mid 40s and now have a 7 mth kid so my mental health is non existent esp dealing with a wife. Glad i'm not 20s or else i woudl have ran away.

[BIC_BAWS]

RS is my mental health space and has been for 20+ years.

Same with RS as my mental health space LUL

But also going out to be social etc, plenty of free events around like networking/socials/meet-ups. Just getting out there to do anything and having a human interaction with someone goes along way - something that I wasn't doing before.

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday who was going through a crisis, similar to my last one about career/life and how behind he felt, so I pushed him to go to a networking event. Then he hit me with the "woe is me" and how salty he felt about the transactional nature of networking - but I think that's a mindset thing. If you reframe it about community building and empowering the ecosystem (for your industry/passion), you'll have a significantly more impactful and enjoyable time. Vancouver is incredibly collaborative and most people are happy to talk about themselves/their projects/lend a hand (show their expertise), lean into it instead of being a bitch about it is what I told my friend.

Anyway, I got my friend out of the house, and he ended up having an awesome time and "networking has begun to heal my workplace trauma"

[Gerbs]

Curious ... this thread is about health & wellness. Much of it has to do with working out, physical, nutrition, weight, etc. Where and how do folks keep your mental health in good shape?

Come to RS ... it's a stress reliever? :lol

My #1 2026 goal is to fix my chronic fatigue.

I told my doctor this week, I've been seeing him for fatigue for annually for 8 years, and at this stage, I'm pretty sure I am dying. My energy levels for 5 years is near 0, never felt awake, sleep 8.5 hours and still dead, can't stay asleep, keep waking up.
- eat healthy 5-7x a week
- exercise 6x a week
- 30 years old
- tons of good friends, hobbies, social circles, and ways to vent stress and talk about feelings
- emotionally stable
- sleep duration is good, quality is low
- travel + tons of leisure time
- life is low stress relative to what world has to deal with
- grew up in a tough life, so I am very grateful for all lifes comfort
- gratitude journal
- stretch daily
- blood test is fine + sleep test
- don't feel depressed, life is too good to even feel this way
- low anxiety


It has lead to a split fork-road where I am 99% sure I am MEGA burnt out from spending 20-30 productivity maxing my entire life or I am depressed.

- Spent 8/15 years working life either working 2+ jobs, or FT School + 32hours+ of work in tandem
- exercising 2-6x a week
- trying to eating well
- build a social life
- side hustles
- travel, hobbies, interests and be a interesting person


This low energy has even got me turning to spirituality and praying

tldr; I am dying, napping 24/7 and tryna fix it finally, tba

[bcrdukes]

True, coming onto RS, can be a cause of stress ... :lol.

The amount of times I've procrastinated on my assignments since starting my program has lead to many stress-inducing moments. Definitely not healthy. :heckno:

[Gerbs]

What I am currently planning to do to fix it, and open to suggestions
- likely quitting day job
- tryna reduce fixed costs to 0 - Mortgage, move home, etc
- do nothing
- dopamine detox
- going to try to exit my co-owned health and supplement store for 6 months,


take my 75 year old mom and see the world, idk at this point what will fix me?

I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of taking a year off, having no income then spending $50-70K to travel with my mom, spend time on myself and family. Cause it takes so long to save $50-70K. But if I am dying, I need to do it

[Badhobz]

My #1 2026 goal is to fix my chronic fatigue.
- exercise 6x a week
tldr; I am dying, napping 24/7 and tryna fix it finally, tba

well there's your fucking problem bro...

have you tried my eat fried chicken skin and NOT do exercise ...... exercise? might just cure what ails you

[BIC_BAWS]

Stop saying you're dying - your brain reads into that and actually believes it. There was some kind of brain dr that came to my last workplace that preached about never tell urself you're dying and to eat walnuts. Sounds like hocus pocus, but you could start with that.

Also, I too cannot stay awake, but I am very unhealthy LOL. I think a large component of this is the WFH thing - I've noticed that being WFH, I feel more tired. I don't feel tired or sleepy when I'm out at events in DT for several hours. I hear its good to get 20 mins of sunshine when you wake up, so don't coup yourself up in your office.

[Gerbs]

ate fried chicken yesterday, 5 pieces


sports + exercise is the only time I feel awake and present, the bouts where I stop exercising completely because routine breaks due to travel or work, we go to a worser place.

that's why i picked up running, if I walk / run 20 minutes, it's the rare time where I feel similar to being awake in 2015-2019 for an hour

Stop saying you're dying - your brain reads into that and actually believes it.

Todays the first day I said it, recognized it and somethings wrong.

Threw me off that I went to the doctor for fatigue annually for 6 years, sleep sucks, and I wake up tired af 24/7 and nap all the time

I hear its good to get 20 mins of sunshine when you wake up, so don't coup yourself up in your office.

my wake up and sleep time is same time daily, I wake up and stare at sunshine to start the melatonin / circ rhythm.


I feel like I'm doing everything right

[Gerbs]

but yeah, all this I realized as of 12:00 PM today, it's not normal to see a doctor for fatigue for 6 years.


I started by reaching out to all close friends just now for help. Maybe they see something I don't

[RabidRat]

What I am currently planning to do to fix it, and open to suggestions
- likely quitting day job
- tryna reduce fixed costs to 0 - Mortgage, move home, etc
- do nothing
- dopamine detox
- going to try to exit my co-owned health and supplement store for 6 months,


take my 75 year old mom and see the world, idk at this point what will fix me?

I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of taking a year off, having no income then spending $50-70K to travel with my mom, spend time on myself and family. Cause it takes so long to save $50-70K. But if I am dying, I need to do it

Even if it doesn't fix you, how could you possibly regret that? :)

[Badhobz]

if i take my old bat around the world, id probably drown her and then shoot myself in the head. That'll cure all my psychological issues as the bullet travels through my skull.

why cant you be more like your cousin... hes an ACTUAL LAWYER... youre just some drop out boat guy
why are you so fat? OH HERES SOME MORE WHIPPED CREAM and strawberries.. STOP EATING FATTY!!!
why dont you listen to me more!? OH DID I TELL YOU ABOUT how the CHINESE GOVERNMENT IS POISONING all of Shanghai !?!?

FUCK. YOU. AH. MO !!!!!!!! i swear to god if i could, id crawl back up your old snatch and suffocate myself... why the fuck did you create me!?!??!

========

Hehe as he reads this : BrokeBack loves his mom

thats why im also immune to 99% of cantonese swears... Diu my lo mo? go ahead!!!

[mikemhg]

Curious ... this thread is about health & wellness. Much of it has to do with working out, physical, nutrition, weight, etc. Where and how do folks keep your mental health in good shape? Many companies now have counselling as a benefit (they pay 80%, you pay 20%) but if it is just high stress period or something not at the level of going to see a counsellor ... what do you all do?

Come to RS ... it's a stress reliever? :lol

RS to a degree for sure.

My company actually has a pretty generous and robust mental health coverage so I've been utilizing counseling quite often here to help get through this whole breakup and its recent fallout.

It does help just blabbing to a stranger in a more clinical sense, as opposed to just getting therapy all the time from your buds :lol

[EvoFire]

What I am currently planning to do to fix it, and open to suggestions
- likely quitting day job
- tryna reduce fixed costs to 0 - Mortgage, move home, etc
- do nothing
- dopamine detox
- going to try to exit my co-owned health and supplement store for 6 months,


take my 75 year old mom and see the world, idk at this point what will fix me?

I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of taking a year off, having no income then spending $50-70K to travel with my mom, spend time on myself and family. Cause it takes so long to save $50-70K. But if I am dying, I need to do it

Financial health is a big driver of mental health. Same with work health.

I've brought this up before and it bears to bring it up again, I was depressed and on the verge of committing suicide. A life changing job change suddenly turned that dark hole I was in to a bright and cheerful place.

I went from a depressing toxic workplace full of politics to an office that appreciated everyone. I no longer had a 5 day commute through slogging traffic instead I had a hybrid schedule where I could take the train to work. Work is something you spend the majority of your life doing and if it's a terrible slog or toxic it's going to affect you tons.

The second part is the new job paid more, we are talking about 64% more pay. I went from paycheque to paycheque to being able to actually safe money, and splurge a little here or there on life's luxuries.

[Gerbs]

RS to a degree for sure.

My company actually has a pretty generous and robust mental health coverage so I've been utilizing counseling quite often here to help get through this whole breakup and its recent fallout.

It does help just blabbing to a stranger in a more clinical sense, as opposed to just getting therapy all the time from your buds :lol

time to run the sinclair gym sesh :ilied:


The second part is the new job paid more, we are talking about 64% more pay. I went from paycheque to paycheque to being able to actually safe money, and splurge a little here or there on life's luxuries.

Gonna take the leap of faith and hope this is what I need

[unit]

try a digital detox, at least from the social media platforms that force you to endlessly scroll.

[CivicBlues]

RS to a degree for sure.

My company actually has a pretty generous and robust mental health coverage so I've been utilizing counseling quite often here to help get through this whole breakup and its recent fallout.

It does help just blabbing to a stranger in a more clinical sense, as opposed to just getting therapy all the time from your buds :lol

Aw shit did you actually break up after all that drama? That sucks man, but sounds like it was for the best.

Can we go after Vlad now?

[spoon.ek9]

Yeah, I’ve somehow become a sexual deviant.

could be all the constant yammering about plowing poop chutes around here. mostly from one person but who's counting?

[BIC_BAWS]

try a digital detox, at least from the social media platforms that force you to endlessly scroll.

This for sure, I also think by using IG/Tiktok less, my mood has gotten so much better.

[noclue]

time to run the sinclair gym sesh :ilied:



Gonna take the leap of faith and hope this is what I need

HowÂ’s your posture? Are you a back or side sleeper? Compressed/pinched nerves can affect sleep that wont get caught in a blood test. Or if you had bad posture, it could have accelerated osteoarthritis in your spine. Have you tried a different mattress or a pillow? What does your sleep score say on your smartwatch?

Hokey pokey science but dry needling/acupuncture might help with your sleep.

Edit: splurge and go to an asian country that offers a full medical checkup like mri/ct scan, colonscopy/endoscopy etc that you can buy for a second opinion.

[EvoFire]

RS to a degree for sure.

My company actually has a pretty generous and robust mental health coverage so I've been utilizing counseling quite often here to help get through this whole breakup and its recent fallout.

It does help just blabbing to a stranger in a more clinical sense, as opposed to just getting therapy all the time from your buds :lol

I would becareful with company provided mental health support. No judgement sure, but they will know that you accessed help and it may be detrimental to your chances to move up in the future. That was second hand info.

[EvoFire]

My #1 2026 goal is to fix my chronic fatigue.

My energy levels for 5 years is near 0, never felt awake, sleep 8.5 hours and still dead, can't stay asleep, keep waking up.

Just picking up on the sleep thing.

How old is your mattress? How old is your pillow? Last year (or was it two years ago now) I was looking for a new mattress because I realized my existing mattress had aged out.

I am an all over the place sleeper, so basically depending on the day and physical state I could sleep on my side or front or back. My mattress no longer let me sleep on my front without a ton of pain, which sometimes I just need if I have a very busy brain, something about sleeping on my front calms me.

Anyways. I spent a ton of time doing research and trying out mattresses. I wouldn't say I sleep like a baby right now, but it's definitely improved.

Pillow wise I am using a bamboo pillow from Costco a few years ago. It's probably time to get a new pillow but I haven't come across anything that's good.

I sleep with a heavy old school blanket from China. IIRC my blanket is an 8lb double. Wife uses a 10lb double. Might be worthwhile to look into a weighted blanket or just something old school.

[supafamous]

I would becareful with company provided mental health support. No judgement sure, but they will know that you accessed help and it may be detrimental to your chances to move up in the future. That was second hand info.

Technically it's not company provided, its provider provided mental health support.

While I'm sure that there are companies out there that find ways to get access to the records or even look at them I've never in 20 years in management heard of this happening in any of the companies I've worked at. Nor has use of benefits ever been a consideration in any promotion or performance evaluation I've been a part of - this is covering hundreds of employees (probably well over a thousand).

OTOH, the "anonymous" employee satisfaction/engagement survey is not truly anonymous. There's enough demographic data that we can narrow stuff down pretty good if we wanted to - I know of one person that was fired for their comments in the survey.

[spoon.ek9]

I get dry needling from my physio, really helps loosen things up. Also getting RMT once per week which is nice. Back when I went to chiro, that would also make me sleep quite well.

I don't tend to have trouble sleeping on a normal basis, but these things all make me wanna nap lol.

[Gerbs]

HowÂ’s your posture? Are you a back or side sleeper? Compressed/pinched nerves can affect sleep that wont get caught in a blood test. Or if you had bad posture, it could have accelerated osteoarthritis in your spine. Have you tried a different mattress or a pillow? What does your sleep score say on your smartwatch?

Hokey pokey science but dry needling/acupuncture might help with your sleep.

Edit: splurge and go to an asian country that offers a full medical checkup like mri/ct scan, colonscopy/endoscopy etc that you can buy for a second opinion.

Thanks for your suggestions.

Not good, lean to one side due to uneven hip seen on the dexa. I typically start back and move to the side and alternative back and forth discomfort. I'm very fidgety too.

I'll look into the pinched nerve, I recall I did have a back pop when I was 20 - 23 twice during squats. No major issues but there were 2x I had insane back spasms for a month out of nowhere.

Mattress is really good, optimized that, same with pilows, going to try the custom airsleep.jp ones that ohtani uses in Japan next time. My friend has a mattress store and I've been tryna see if he can wholesale/export it over here.

Open to pillow recs, I have 4 different ones on my bed.

I also dry needle / acupuncture a specific area in my mid back that's consistently tight



I just told my family, I might go to Taiwan/Korea/China to do that foreigner full check-up for $1,300-3,300.

My dad died from cancer at 48? His brother just died from cancer at 79. 2 Uncles in that side also died from cancer in last 5 years in early 70s. Don't think it's a hereditary thing but at this stage, I should check.

[Gerbs]

Just picking up on the sleep thing.

How old is your mattress? How old is your pillow? Last year (or was it two years ago now) I was looking for a new mattress because I realized my existing mattress had aged out.

I am an all over the place sleeper, so basically depending on the day and physical state I could sleep on my side or front or back. My mattress no longer let me sleep on my front without a ton of pain, which sometimes I just need if I have a very busy brain, something about sleeping on my front calms me.

Anyways. I spent a ton of time doing research and trying out mattresses. I wouldn't say I sleep like a baby right now, but it's definitely improved.

Pillow wise I am using a bamboo pillow from Costco a few years ago. It's probably time to get a new pillow but I haven't come across anything that's good.

I sleep with a heavy old school blanket from China. IIRC my blanket is an 8lb double. Wife uses a 10lb double. Might be worthwhile to look into a weighted blanket or just something old school.

Got current mattress when I moved out, 5 years old, I read swap every 10? Pillows are 1-5 years, will also swap out again now.

I have a bedjet, going to buy a 8sleep pod to ensure I don't wake up from running hot.

There's an odd case that if I had a bigger than King sized and run 2 Queens, I could sleep better, my neck prawns on the top of the headboard so my feet don't fall off the bed.


https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/55094875053_fa2f1a3f79_b.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2rWxCSR)

This was a few days ago - > snowballed into a nap - > 2:30AM fall asleep time day after.

These wakeups are killing me, I'm getting crazy ass dreams where I'm being killed. I've had sleep paralysis 200-300+ times, where I don't get scared anymore. BibleThump


Regardless, in 6+ months time, I hope to re-read this and not be dead lool

[Traum]

Not good, lean to one side due to uneven hip seen on the dexa. I typically start back and move to the side and alternative back and forth discomfort. I'm very fidgety too.

If you have an uneven hip, have you looked into / tried chiropractic treatment? Granted, IMO the effectiveness of chiropractic treatments is highly dependent on how skillful the chiro is, a lot more so than other forms of paramedical treatments like physio / massage, and I don't have a good recommendation for you anymore since my chiro is retiring the end of this month. But if you can find a good chiro, it can be life changing and soooo liberating. I swear to god every time I see my chiro, I come out feeling like a fresh new person.

[whitev70r]

My #1 2026 goal is to fix my chronic fatigue.

I told my doctor this week, I've been seeing him for fatigue for annually for 8 years, and at this stage, I'm pretty sure I am dying. My energy levels for 5 years is near 0, never felt awake, sleep 8.5 hours and still dead, can't stay asleep, keep waking up.


Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear of troubles. I don't usually like to offer 'suggestions' but your sleeping, have you got tested for sleep apnea?

[red kryptonite]

Training for a Triathlon, Day 1
Subaru Triathlon Series, Milton - June 7th
Try-A-Tri race: 375m Swim, 10km Bike, *2.5km Run*

Conditions: -8°C, slushy
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Completion: 2.52 km
[xxxxxxxxxx]x

Pace: 7.4 km/h
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Mental Anguish: peak HR 191 bpm
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Athletic Condition: very obesity
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Weeks Remaining til Race Day: 15/16
[xxxxxxxxxx]

wow welcome to the party!
swimming sucks, bike ride should be breeze, running sucks.

Where was this from? Gotta add it to my list when I'm in town later this summer! :)

red k's kitchen :thumbs:

[EvoFire]

2.5k run is nothing, 10k bike is nothing. The only thing I would be worried about is swimming cause I can't swim worth shit.

[RabidRat]

lol who the fuck does Subaru think they are making you jump through hoops for $750 rebate.

Training for a Triathlon, Day 2
Subaru Triathlon Series, Milton - June 7th
Try-A-Tri race: 375m Swim, 10km Bike, *2.5km Run*

Conditions: -1°C, clear
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Completion: 2.5 km
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Pace: 8.9 km/h
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Mental Anguish: peak HR 197 bpm
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Athletic Condition: very obesity
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Weeks Remaining til Race Day: 15/16
[xxxxxxxxxx]

[mikemhg]

Aw shit did you actually break up after all that drama? That sucks man, but sounds like it was for the best.

Can we go after Vlad now?

Ya we broke up in the worst way possible, I never would've thought it would end the way it did.

I have a high EQ and can read through bullshit very easily with people, it's always been a strength. I spent months having this "feeling", an inclination that something else was going on, the "peeing on my feet and telling me it was raining". I leave to Mexico for a few weeks next Friday, and I had to get a final confirmation of what my gut instinct was telling me this whole time.

I finally broke last week and went into her phone, as I had known the password, I've never done that with a GF before, I've always believed in the adage that if you go digging, you'll find dirt.

Boy did I ever find dirt. A bunch of things that were happening behind my back, of which I don't want to post about on this forum. Needless to say, what I read and saw made me sick to my core, and broke my heart utterly, the stuff that was going on was diabolical, lying to my face this entire time in full confidence.

I never would've believed she'd do this to me, and to that degree, we were lovers and best friends, but here we are. The confrontation did not go well, it was like a mask came off to reveal the true person I had been with, it was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when the mask came off. She was more concerned with how I found out, as opposed to what she had been doing to me all this time behind my back. Then came the insults, emasculation, provocation, it all escalated very quickly, I ended up having to call the police to de-escalate. We haven't spoken since.

I'll be in Mexico when she moves all her stuff out, who knows if we'll speak again. Part of me does want some closure to all of this, I want to understand it all, why did she do all this. I hate ending things on these terms, and don't want to walk away thinking she's this evil, vile being, and second guess the person she ever was in the first place. It's fucking with my head to a degree, and I don't want to believe that.

Perhaps closure will never come, in hindsight this might've been the best way to have ended this 6-year relationship, and to allow me to move on. She moves into a new place 5 minutes down the street from me, and this breakup could've strung me along for months more thinking we were working on things from apart, trying to "reset", when clearly that wasn't the case. She had other intentions not known to me.

[spoon.ek9]

damn dude, sorry to hear all that. you can always PM if you want my opinion.

[SSM_DC5]

Wild!

Makes me sad...... Sad because Gerbs and bic baws dating scene just got a whole lot harder!PJSalt

[mikemhg]

Man I have no intentions to jump into the pool as quickly as she did, we were still living together, cuddling in the same bed while she was out in the streets going crazy.

Besides, Gerbs, BIC, and I are going after different demos, I honestly don't think I want another Asian chick anytime soon, hate to say it. Cultures matter, I might be better with the whites :)

I adopt a dog from a rescue the week I'm back from Mexico in March, she will be my new muse for the foreseeable future :lol

[red kryptonite]

Dude sorry to hear that but better to find out sooner rather than later, especially before kids are involved.
To quote Eminem. “bitches they come they go… not a jealous man but females lie”
Time to go rescue some lonely hoes tonight Superman Mike!!!

Anyways!
PSA to my gym bros: eat the crab tonight crab is calories free.

[MarkyMark]

Sorry to hear Mike, it's disheartening when you think you know someone and they are capable of doing shit you never thought possible. I always look at my relationship as being good "right now" because you never know what can happen, people change over time, someone new comes into their life and all it takes is a weak moment from someone and it can fall apart.

[Badhobz]

Man I have no intentions to jump into the pool as quickly as she did, we were still living together, cuddling in the same bed while she was out in the streets going crazy.

Besides, Gerbs, BIC, and I are going after different demos, I honestly don't think I want another Asian chick anytime soon, hate to say it. Cultures matter, I might be better with the whites :)

I adopt a dog from a rescue the week I'm back from Mexico in March, she will be my new muse for the foreseeable future :lol

Good for you my brother. Better to know now than to oblivious to the true person behind the mask. Especially when she was basically forcing you into marriage and creating a family.

Doggio will be your true love. They always are

[68style]

It’s crazy to me when you bust someone for something and all they care about is getting to how you figured it out and THAT is the despicable part to them. Happened with my ex-wife. Definitely made it easier to say hey at least I don’t have to worry about thinking I made a mistake when literally the only thing they cared about and are angry about is how they got caught.

[GS8]

Ya we broke up in the worst way possible, I never would've thought it would end the way it did.

I have a high EQ and can read through bullshit very easily with people, it's always been a strength. I spent months having this "feeling", an inclination that something else was going on, the "peeing on my feet and telling me it was raining". I leave to Mexico for a few weeks next Friday, and I had to get a final confirmation of what my gut instinct was telling me this whole time.

I finally broke last week and went into her phone, as I had known the password, I've never done that with a GF before, I've always believed in the adage that if you go digging, you'll find dirt.

Boy did I ever find dirt. A bunch of things that were happening behind my back, of which I don't want to post about on this forum. Needless to say, what I read and saw made me sick to my core, and broke my heart utterly, the stuff that was going on was diabolical, lying to my face this entire time in full confidence.

I never would've believed she'd do this to me, and to that degree, we were lovers and best friends, but here we are. The confrontation did not go well, it was like a mask came off to reveal the true person I had been with, it was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when the mask came off. She was more concerned with how I found out, as opposed to what she had been doing to me all this time behind my back. Then came the insults, emasculation, provocation, it all escalated very quickly, I ended up having to call the police to de-escalate. We haven't spoken since.

I'll be in Mexico when she moves all her stuff out, who knows if we'll speak again. Part of me does want some closure to all of this, I want to understand it all, why did she do all this. I hate ending things on these terms, and don't want to walk away thinking she's this evil, vile being, and second guess the person she ever was in the first place. It's fucking with my head to a degree, and I don't want to believe that.

Perhaps closure will never come, in hindsight this might've been the best way to have ended this 6-year relationship, and to allow me to move on. She moves into a new place 5 minutes down the street from me, and this breakup could've strung me along for months more thinking we were working on things from apart, trying to "reset", when clearly that wasn't the case. She had other intentions not known to me.

I'm no expert but it sounds like you're experiencing ambiguous loss which in simplest terms means your mind doesn't have the closure it craves. There's 2 types which in my Phoenix University phantom graduate expertise tells me you're experiencing both kinds of ambiguous loss: physical and psychological.

Physical because the relationship is physically over but you're racking your brain over what happened. Where did it begin to go south? Was it one event? Was it me? Her? Etc etc. Your mind wants control over this situation but it cant because there's too many variables, leaving a conclusion to be ambiguous in nature. Also, you know she'll still be around but what willll she be like moving forward. Will she miss you? Will she regret it? Or will she move on like a Road Runner? From her perspective it's irrelevant because your mind is concocting all these questions.

Psychological because you're feeling the loss of how the relationship was at its best. The memories, the planning and just overall moments when you 2 felt indestructible together.

In the chapters we write in our mental autobiographies, we always seek a closure to that chapter before starting the next one. It's just how our brains process order in our world. But when it comes to ambiguous loss, it's like putting items in a box but you lost the lid and now have no way to seal the box because it requires that one specific lid and without it, your box isn't as ordered as you want because it can fall, get crushed etc.

Anyway, sorry to hear but deep down, I knew this would be the result. It sounded like the tension was already there. The gasoline was already spilt. Question isn't who had the match, it's who dropped the match.

Physically and biologically, women are awesome. Socially? Fucking venomous. Being gay would be easier (except for monkey pox).

[EvoFire]

Ya we broke up in the worst way possible, I never would've thought it would end the way it did.

I have a high EQ and can read through bullshit very easily with people, it's always been a strength. I spent months having this "feeling", an inclination that something else was going on, the "peeing on my feet and telling me it was raining". I leave to Mexico for a few weeks next Friday, and I had to get a final confirmation of what my gut instinct was telling me this whole time.

I finally broke last week and went into her phone, as I had known the password, I've never done that with a GF before, I've always believed in the adage that if you go digging, you'll find dirt.

Boy did I ever find dirt. A bunch of things that were happening behind my back, of which I don't want to post about on this forum. Needless to say, what I read and saw made me sick to my core, and broke my heart utterly, the stuff that was going on was diabolical, lying to my face this entire time in full confidence.

I never would've believed she'd do this to me, and to that degree, we were lovers and best friends, but here we are. The confrontation did not go well, it was like a mask came off to reveal the true person I had been with, it was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when the mask came off. She was more concerned with how I found out, as opposed to what she had been doing to me all this time behind my back. Then came the insults, emasculation, provocation, it all escalated very quickly, I ended up having to call the police to de-escalate. We haven't spoken since.

I'll be in Mexico when she moves all her stuff out, who knows if we'll speak again. Part of me does want some closure to all of this, I want to understand it all, why did she do all this. I hate ending things on these terms, and don't want to walk away thinking she's this evil, vile being, and second guess the person she ever was in the first place. It's fucking with my head to a degree, and I don't want to believe that.

Perhaps closure will never come, in hindsight this might've been the best way to have ended this 6-year relationship, and to allow me to move on. She moves into a new place 5 minutes down the street from me, and this breakup could've strung me along for months more thinking we were working on things from apart, trying to "reset", when clearly that wasn't the case. She had other intentions not known to me.

Best to just rip off the bandaid then being strung along.

We can go grab a beer if you just want an ear. I want to meet the resident big guy anyways, missed you at the meet last time.

[Badhobz]

STOP TRYING TO STEAL MY ONRY BRACK FRIEND!!!!!! :rukidding:

[68style]

Come to Calgary, I’ll wingman you to all the blonde-filled bars your heart can desire

[GLOW]

Good for you my brother. Better to know now than to oblivious to the true person behind the mask. Especially when she was basically forcing you into marriage and creating a family.

Doggio will be your true love. They always are

word, mask off is a true gift. when people show you who they are, believe them.

better late than never. you don't have the complications of kids or marriage. it will hurt for now b/c she sold you on an illusion of what she was, and what you 2 were. move forward with quiet indifference.

[GS8]

Come to Calgary, I’ll wingman you to all the blonde-filled bars your heart can desire

I'll be the McLovin to that triad :derp:

[bcrdukes]

Holy shit, just read mikemhg's post. I am at a loss for words!

1. Sorry this all happened.
2. Hope things get better for you.

Selfishly, come out to the next meet with the dog this summer. We're always welcoming awesome people. :)

[Traum]

I'll be in Mexico when she moves all her stuff out, who knows if we'll speak again. Part of me does want some closure to all of this, I want to understand it all, why did she do all this. I hate ending things on these terms, and don't want to walk away thinking she's this evil, vile being, and second guess the person she ever was in the first place. It's fucking with my head to a degree, and I don't want to believe that.

Perhaps closure will never come, in hindsight this might've been the best way to have ended this 6-year relationship, and to allow me to move on. She moves into a new place 5 minutes down the street from me, and this breakup could've strung me along for months more thinking we were working on things from apart, trying to "reset", when clearly that wasn't the case. She had other intentions not known to me.
Sorry to hear about how it ended, Mike. And the way it ended sounded absolutely crazy.

With at least a few ex-es, I had gone through a similar mental state as you are doing now, although my past relationships mostly only ended bcos of incompatibility or that we were looking for different things. Still, there were parts of me that wanted closure, parts that wanted to understand how it came to happen, why she found it necessary to end our relationship, etc. In most cases, I never got the closure or answers I wanted, and closure only came when enough time has passed, or that I had let go myself. But in most cases, full closure never came. I'd like to believe that this sort of thing in life is what makes us human, that help us mature, and give us the desire to do better than what we weren't able to do in the past.

Take care and hang in there, bro.

[CivicBlues]

That sucks bro, I got nothing else to add but stay strong and you'll get through this. In any rate a guy like you probably won't be single for long...or at least without companionship for very long.

[rb]

Mike's ex sounds like some sort of an avoidant to me. Look it up, (attachment theory), it might help you with closure and an understanding that you might not get from her. I got wrecked after many years with one and am still sorting out the ashes of my world that she set on fire and then pissed on. 2-years of therapy and I
'm still trying to rebuild myself. Once they get exposed from their prim and proper ways that they show the world, they simply wont give a fuck about you

[donk.]

Mike is going to mexico? Single?

I can hear the SIIIII PAAAAPPPIIII all the way from here

[noclue]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXRN_LkCa_o&list=RDJXRN_LkCa_o&start_radio=1

[Tapioca]

It sucks to hear Mike.

But you should be able to move on pretty quick... I mean, you're not like your typical 40-something guy who's balding, overweight, and sleeping on his mom's couch who finds himself single after a divorce. You've already locked in on the gym, you have a 6-figure income, and you have your own place. You're doing better than 90-95% of the single men in their 40s. It’s all mental for you now.

[quasi]

I turned 50 in December, my work outs have been fairly consistent 5-6 days a week but I can't seem to lose fat or put on muscle. I've probably gained 10 pounds over the last year, not good weight and almost all of it one my belly.

I understand that age and diet have a lot to do with it and if I'm being honest with my self my diet is probably the main issue. I know for sure I'm not getting enough protein, problem is I'm not a big meat eater and having trouble getting enough. I also have an issue with snacking after dinner, this has always been an issue but the 2 years before this last one it was sustainable with exercise and kind of the one thing that keeps me sane knowing I'm not depriving myself of things I enjoy.

I'm seriously considering getting my Testosterone tested and if low going the TRT route. Has anyone here done this, did it help?

[CivicBlues]

Wait hol up, doesn't your ex get half your stuff Mike? Since you're probably common law I'm guessing.

[red kryptonite]

not necessarily, theres alot of details and fine print, reason for separation, and how you want to get lawyers involved.

[EvoFire]

I turned 50 in December, my work outs have been fairly consistent 5-6 days a week but I can't seem to lose fat or put on muscle. I've probably gained 10 pounds over the last year, not good weight and almost all of it one my belly.

I understand that age and diet have a lot to do with it and if I'm being honest with my self my diet is probably the main issue. I know for sure I'm not getting enough protein, problem is I'm not a big meat eater and having trouble getting enough. I also have an issue with snacking after dinner, this has always been an issue but the 2 years before this last one it was sustainable with exercise and kind of the one thing that keeps me sane knowing I'm not depriving myself of things I enjoy.

I'm seriously considering getting my Testosterone tested and if low going the TRT route. Has anyone here done this, did it help?

You've pretty much hit most of the issues right on already.

Snacking after dinner is a big problem, if you must, pick something that's less calories like plain popcorn.
Not eating enough meat is not the main issue there's plenty of ways to get protein, the bigger issue is being heavy on easy carbs like rice and noodles and pasta. You might want to move on to quinoa, or cut the amount of easy carbs. The chicken and broccoli diet works and that's why so many ppl are on it.

[RabidRat]

Sorry to hear Mike. Sounds really messed up :/.

---

Training for a Triathlon, Day 3


lol who the fuck does Subaru think they are making you jump through hoops for $750 rebate.

Subaru Triathlon Series, Milton - June 7th
Try-A-Tri race: 375m Swim, 10km Bike, *2.5km Run*

Conditions: 0°C, clear
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Completion: 2.55 km
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Pace: 8.3 km/h
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Mental Anguish: peak HR 192 bpm
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Athletic Condition: very obesity
[xxxxxxxxxx]

Weeks Remaining til Race Day: 15/16
[xxxxxxxxxx]

[Tapioca]

not necessarily, theres alot of details and fine print, reason for separation, and how you want to get lawyers involved.

Half of the assets accumulated during the relationship.

If they rented, it's just pensions and other savings. It all depends on who accumulated more assets during their relationship. People just assume it's the man, but not always.

[68style]

^It's nowhere near that simple actually...

but they were renting anyway if I remember what Mike said correctly

[CivicBlues]

Well given what Mike's told us about his ex's spending habits, I'm pretty sure most of the remaining financial assets will be in his name.

sorry Mike, we probably shouldn't be speculating about this without your permission

[red kryptonite]

mon-fri ive been keeping calories super low (under 900) in anticipation of vday and cny weekend.

post workout: protein shake 120 cal
meal 1: 1 cup chicken broth 20 cal and 3 eggs 150 cal
snack: fruit of some sort, lets call it 100 cal
meal 2: 1 cup chicken broth 20 cal and 4oz hotpot steak 300 cal
post 2nd workout: casein shake 120 cal

https://tnstatic.net/attachments/img_7510-jpg.1186880/

https://tnstatic.net/attachments/img_7515-jpg.1186881/

[EvoFire]

Dude that's not sustainable.

[N.V.M.]

the word "hotpot" is on every single page of Revscene

[bcrdukes]

the word "hotpot" is on every single page of Revscene

We need a politician to outlaw hot pot. I find it culturally repulsive and an abomination to society.

Will you be that leader?

[6793026]

Ya we broke up in the worst way possible, I never would've thought it would end the way it did.


Been there, done that. Been on both sides. I cheated, gf found out. She forgave me and then i foudn her cheating.

ANYHOO. Like some of you said, better to know rather than 'what if' it was me type feeling. 5 yrs is going to rough and on the other hand, you'll never feel the same esp with the Iwas in my bed whole time while...

purge and let it go. it's a new day i guess. best of luck to ya. I think the best revenge was "how the hell did he know" is always the best feeling cause she'll always wonder why, what, where.. and the ghost will haunt her for good.

[supafamous]

I turned 50 in December, my work outs have been fairly consistent 5-6 days a week but I can't seem to lose fat or put on muscle. I've probably gained 10 pounds over the last year, not good weight and almost all of it one my belly.

I understand that age and diet have a lot to do with it and if I'm being honest with my self my diet is probably the main issue. I know for sure I'm not getting enough protein, problem is I'm not a big meat eater and having trouble getting enough. I also have an issue with snacking after dinner, this has always been an issue but the 2 years before this last one it was sustainable with exercise and kind of the one thing that keeps me sane knowing I'm not depriving myself of things I enjoy.

I'm seriously considering getting my Testosterone tested and if low going the TRT route. Has anyone here done this, did it help?

I had my testosterone checked at my last blood test as I'm the same age as you and was following the advice here about it getting it checked but turned out mine was fine. Turns out the difficulty in adding muscle and losing fat at 50 is just old age.

Besides your diet (which is definitely THE main issue) I wonder if you're working out too much and not allowing enough time for recovery. 5-6 times is a lot for a 50 year old unless you've always worked out that much or the workouts are pretty light/broken down. Is your cardio high enough to push hard with weight training? At our age the V02 max expectations are surprisingly low - an average 50 y.o male's can get pretty gassed (cardio wise) lifting.

[spoon.ek9]

Keep the workouts, add in daily walking (aim for 8-10k steps daily), increase protein/fibre to keep you feeling full, stop/decrease post dinner snacking entirely if you can. You need to get the calories under control if you want to start losing fat. The main culprit is usually an excess of carbs as mentioned above.

[GLOW]

It sucks to hear Mike.

But you should be able to move on pretty quick... I mean, you're not like your typical 40-something guy who's balding, overweight, and sleeping on his mom's couch who finds himself single after a divorce. You've already locked in on the gym, you have a 6-figure income, and you have your own place. You're doing better than 90-95% of the single men in their 40s. It’s all mental for you now.

Mike's in his financial prime, and physically more prime than most out there. he'll be fine. like most guys (i know a few going thru divorces last year or 2), it's mostly mental - getting over it and being strong and moving on. easier said than done. 1 acquaintance after almost 2 years is finally in a good mental state which is great b/c at 1 point he was close to rock bottom.

Wait hol up, doesn't your ex get half your stuff Mike? Since you're probably common law I'm guessing.

outside of complications, i recall he said she makes pretty decent bank. assuming they're fairly even financially, hopefully he won't get taken to the cleaners and can split as fair & amicably as possible. hopefully she's not the type that likes drama and dragging it out, b/c only lawyers win in those cases.

i think the best revenge is to live a healthy/happy/prosperous life, show indifference and zero interaction. ignore and move on, as if she meant nothing and already forgotten. i think a lot of people have main character syndrome and like seeing the impact they have on people.

[SSM_DC5]

...
outside of complications, i recall he said she makes pretty decent bank. assuming they're fairly even financially, hopefully he won't get taken to the cleaners and can split as fair & amicably as possible. hopefully she's not the type that likes drama and dragging it out, b/c only lawyers win in those cases.

i think the best revenge is to live a healthy/happy/prosperous life, show indifference and zero interaction. ignore and move on, as if she meant nothing and already forgotten. i think a lot of people have main character syndrome and like seeing the impact they have on people.

You are remembering some wrong details.
She's got massive debt.... I don't think it was loc, I think it was credit card debt.
She lied about making bank unless she's working multiple jobs because her earnings are public knowledge.
How she even going to afford legal aid with no money.
Best case scenario is she hides in shame so Mike doesn't have to deal with her crappy financial situation.

[GLOW]

ugh, old man memory, thx for correcting me.

[spoon.ek9]

IIRC she's an RN which means fulltime is a six figure job. Debt is another issue.

[Gerbs]

Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear of troubles. I don't usually like to offer 'suggestions' but your sleeping, have you got tested for sleep apnea?

- Already doing chiro
- No for sleep apnea, re-testing this year again

I have a huge list of things to test for to figure this out, can't wait for the day I'm not sleepy 24/7.


https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/55099650833_29886af414.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2rWY7xT)

PR'd on my 10KM after running 5.5KM, 1 hour prior at the run clerb. Kinda fucked how the only time I'm awake is when I'm exercising or outside.

If I'm single at EOY, I'll do 100KM's on my bday


Besides, Gerbs, BIC, and I are going after different demos, I honestly don't think I want another Asian chick anytime soon, hate to say it. Cultures matter, I might be better with the whites :)
l

Send me your asians

[SSM_DC5]

IIRC she's an RN which means fulltime is a six figure job. Debt is another issue.

She was claiming raking in 10g's a month or something! That's normal for RS baller, but no way is it RN normal.

[mikemhg]

I'm no expert but it sounds like you're experiencing ambiguous loss which in simplest terms means your mind doesn't have the closure it craves. There's 2 types which in my Phoenix University phantom graduate expertise tells me you're experiencing both kinds of ambiguous loss: physical and psychological.

Physical because the relationship is physically over but you're racking your brain over what happened. Where did it begin to go south? Was it one event? Was it me? Her? Etc etc. Your mind wants control over this situation but it cant because there's too many variables, leaving a conclusion to be ambiguous in nature. Also, you know she'll still be around but what willll she be like moving forward. Will she miss you? Will she regret it? Or will she move on like a Road Runner? From her perspective it's irrelevant because your mind is concocting all these questions.

Psychological because you're feeling the loss of how the relationship was at its best. The memories, the planning and just overall moments when you 2 felt indestructible together.

In the chapters we write in our mental autobiographies, we always seek a closure to that chapter before starting the next one. It's just how our brains process order in our world. But when it comes to ambiguous loss, it's like putting items in a box but you lost the lid and now have no way to seal the box because it requires that one specific lid and without it, your box isn't as ordered as you want because it can fall, get crushed etc.

Anyway, sorry to hear but deep down, I knew this would be the result. It sounded like the tension was already there. The gasoline was already spilt. Question isn't who had the match, it's who dropped the match.

Physically and biologically, women are awesome. Socially? Fucking venomous. Being gay would be easier (except for monkey pox).


Damn you really encapsulated everything in one post, I'm quite impressed.

That is exactly how I'm feeling.

Thinking about everything is keeping me up at night, sleeping issues and everything. I feel naked right now. I know I need to let it go, but without proper closure it's tough. I just keep wondering what was real and what wasn't, how long all this stuff was going on? I'm finding even some of her friends have reached out to me indicating how they found her social media usage to be problematic and unbecoming of someone in a relationship. Now it all makes sense, all the sexualized story posts, the photos, it was the obvious masquerading for all the men she was secretly talking to.

I already know she's going on another date with some old Italian dude this weekend when I'm in Mexico, he owns a restaurant downtown and looks like Jeff Bezos. I can't even think of going on a date or entertaining another woman right now, it guts me to think she can be so cavalier and callous and move on so quickly and easily, it hurts a lot. I suppose she feels at 38 she has to hit the ground running and find that wealthy guy that will pay all the bills and give her that baby.

I've sent her a message a few days ago about coordinating her move out with a friend of mine to get the keys, and so I can settle on any things we've purchased together, complete radio silence. That part really sucks.

She de-activated her Instagram for now, I went for coffee with her sister last week and apparently the only thing she was worried and focused on was whether I'd try to ruin her reputation by posting about her on Facebook or some website and air her out, which is the last thing I'd ever do. We've known each other for 6 years, she knows I'm the last person to ever be so messy and do something like that to her, not a chance. I don't even want to convey what I read and found out about even on this forum, for that very reason. I guess I sort of wished she cared more about what she was doing and what she did to me, as opposed to that, but that's how it goes. I can't help but wonder if she's hurting as bad as I am right now?

As for the financials, I think that one is a moot point -- we both earn well and have pensions, we'd both likely equally lose the same on that one, so I doubt there's any intentions there. I'll give her that credit, I don't think she's that type, but rather the "twist the knife in and show you I don't give a fuck about you", borderline personality disorder in many ways, with the ease of going frigid cold.

She still has the keys to my place to move her stuff out while I'm away, my friends keep saying she'll trash it or do something. I don't think that's her character, so I'm not worried about it, coming home will certainly be a surprise to see what I'll need to replace, though :lol

I really do hope her and I can speak at some point so I can just understand things better and get some closure as to why she went so far off the deep end, there wasn't a need for all these lies and deception, we're both grown ass adults.

Anyways, Revscene has been quite cathartic during this whole thing, and I really do appreciate the words from everyone.

Mexico this Friday, a good group of 7 of us. I need to turn around all this damn depression.

[MarkyMark]

Women generally mourn the relationship far before they let you know it's over. She was probably hurting at some point, but chances are it was before she decided to start doing whatever inappropriate shit you caught her doing.

Regardless, she's not helping the stigma female nurses seem to have, maybe steer clear of them when you decide to start seriously dating again.

[SSM_DC5]

Do you need the RS beat down crew to supervise the move out? We could see if Berz is up for it. Or hobz, but he might empty your fridge in the process.

[Badhobz]

me helrp Mikey! me good at standing there looking soft... like a pillsbury doughgay.

very intimidating cuz i look like i can bake valentines day cookies.

https://digital.loblaws.ca/PCX/21306854_EA/en/1/21306854_en_front_v2_400.png

HE HE (poke me and die motherfucker!!!!)

[68style]

I can't help but wonder if she's hurting as bad as I am right now?

Dude believe me, the amount of unhealthy behavour she's exhibiting toward people in her life she cares about nevermind the damage she's doing to her own self shows she's hurting really bad inside... she just hasn't figured out how to deal with it yet.

She's too focused on herself right now, full on narcissistic tendencies... when time passes and she takes a moment to think back she's going to feel hella bad for what happened.

[Traum]

Mike,

Again, I'm sorry to hear the wave and mixture of emotions that you are going through right now, and your mere description of them is reminding me of the very same demons that I have fought through in the past. If I am hearing you correctly, you seem to be saying -- intentionally or not -- that you are going through some amount of self-doubting as well. I remember what that was like, and it was some very dark times that I'd never want myself or any of my friends to go through.

You may or may not be aware of this already, but I'm gonna say it out anyway -- in hindsight, my mind was not in the right place and wasn't capable of thinking things through properly because of all the emotional turmoil. I wasn't aware of this it at the time at first, but when the clouds cleared a lot later down the line and in subsequent relationships where the relationship had collasped again, I gradually came to the realization that it wasn't just my emotional thinking that got all screwed up; my logical thinking also got all screwed up bcos the emotional side got all screwed up. I supposed we'd all have to find our own ways to deal with this, but at least I want to stress the importance of knowing that you are probably not thinking straight on many different fronts right now.

Take care, and I wish you a speedy rediscovery of your balance again.

[mikemhg]

^I appreciate it Traum, I do.

I'm a confident and outgoing guy, but as of late my self-esteem has been in the dumpster.

Both my uncle and aunt passed away 5 days apart from each other in November, she was with me at the funeral in Gibsons. In December, we had to finally put my mother into long-term care due to her late stage dementia, she's really only with us in the physical form, and not so much mentally anymore. She knows I've been in the dregs the last few months due to all of that, and with this breakup I feel like I'm losing 4 close loved ones all in quick succession. That's what messing me up the most, how did she feel so comfortable doing all this behind my back while I'm going through so much grief and pain?

For the last two months it's been "I want a man that will pay for all the bills", "my ex paid for this and this for his new girl, bought her a car, pays for all their vacations, bought them a house" (he's a drug dealer), "I want a more traditional Asian dynamic in my relationship, and you don't offer that", "it won't be hard to find a man that pays for everything."

Even a week before the big blow up, she'd be going out, coming home late, then telling me the next day how one of her Asian friend's boyfriend paid for everyone's dinner and drinks, a massive bill, and how "that's Asian culture".

I've always been generous with friends and happy to grab the bill, but I'm not going to go out every weekend and drop $2k on a bunch of ungrateful random chicks, it's simply not feasible. All this obsession with money has made me feel lesser than, and brought out some serious deep seated insecurities.

As a kid, I was raised by a single mother, we didn't have much. My HK buddies in school all had nice houses, and I used to wish I was Chinese when I was a kid, so we could be wealthy like them. They used to clown that we lived in a co-op, and I'd get my mom to drop me off up the street from school because our brown beater car embarrassed me.

As an adult I've done well for myself, and I've never had a woman make me feel so small. I find myself second guessing myself, "should I have bought her that $10,000 ring she wanted, "should I have agreed to pay all the bills and have a baby", all this stupid self destructive shit. I'm not going to lie, I even held by shotgun one night contemplating some seriously dark thoughts.

I'm slowly trying to get better now, once she's moved all her stuff out, I'm hoping that will help, and the new pup I'm rescuing will open a new muse to focus on.

I've probably been way too honest here, but alas a trauma dump for Traum :lol

[MarkyMark]

It's gonna take a good amount of time Mike but one day you'll look back and be greatful you dodged that bullet. Even if you gave her what she wanted she would keep upping the ante from the sound of it.

[Gerbs]

I cover my friends for hotpots or random events when I host. Do it 5-6x a year and it's around a decent local vacation a year. Always pondered how much you'd have to have to consistently cover a $1-2K+ bill a few times a year like girlfriends friends.


A new dating issue that's been arising the last 6 months amongst friends is girls comparing their man to social media's idealization of "as he should"
- buying $200-1000+ flowers
- buying cars
- nice dinners weekly
- international vacation paid


It seems like "provider" these days means they want you to pay for her shit as if you've already had 3 kids and wived, but at year 0-3 of dating.

[bcrdukes]

What is the difference between dating and paid companionship these days?

[Badhobz]

Paid companionship is better sex

[Vancouver240sx]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZDVSyEIrwM

Rich

[CivicBlues]

^I appreciate it Traum, I do.

I'm a confident and outgoing guy, but as of late my self-esteem has been in the dumpster.

Both my uncle and aunt passed away 5 days apart from each other in November, she was with me at the funeral in Gibsons. In December, we had to finally put my mother into long-term care due to her late stage dementia, she's really only with us in the physical form, and not so much mentally anymore. She knows I've been in the dregs the last few months due to all of that, and with this breakup I feel like I'm losing 4 close loved ones all in quick succession. That's what messing me up the most, how did she feel so comfortable doing all this behind my back while I'm going through so much grief and pain?

For the last two months it's been "I want a man that will pay for all the bills", "my ex paid for this and this for his new girl, bought her a car, pays for all their vacations, bought them a house" (he's a drug dealer), "I want a more traditional Asian dynamic in my relationship, and you don't offer that", "it won't be hard to find a man that pays for everything."

Even a week before the big blow up, she'd be going out, coming home late, then telling me the next day how one of her Asian friend's boyfriend paid for everyone's dinner and drinks, a massive bill, and how "that's Asian culture".

I've always been generous with friends and happy to grab the bill, but I'm not going to go out every weekend and drop $2k on a bunch of ungrateful random chicks, it's simply not feasible. All this obsession with money has made me feel lesser than, and brought out some serious deep seated insecurities.

As a kid, I was raised by a single mother, we didn't have much. My HK buddies in school all had nice houses, and I used to wish I was Chinese when I was a kid, so we could be wealthy like them. They used to clown that we lived in a co-op, and I'd get my mom to drop me off up the street from school because our brown beater car embarrassed me.

As an adult I've done well for myself, and I've never had a woman make me feel so small. I find myself second guessing myself, "should I have bought her that $10,000 ring she wanted, "should I have agreed to pay all the bills and have a baby", all this stupid self destructive shit. I'm not going to lie, I even held by shotgun one night contemplating some seriously dark thoughts.

I'm slowly trying to get better now, once she's moved all her stuff out, I'm hoping that will help, and the new pup I'm rescuing will open a new muse to focus on.

I've probably been way too honest here, but alas a trauma dump for Traum :lol

Betcha all those HK guys you grew up wish they were you now :fullofwin:.

But wow, she sounded like a real piece of work. Bullet. dodged. Expected to drop 2k for her friends at dinner is insane I don't even know what I'd say I think I'd probably just get up and walk out the door. So sad how the latest generation has regressed with female liberation, I mean I suppose age 38 is still my generation but it sounds like she's reading off the Gen-Z tradwife playbook. It used to be "equal pay for equal work!", now it's "hon you betta pay if you wanna play". At that point what's the diff between that and paying for regular escorts?

[red kryptonite]

Dude that's not sustainable.

i know but its just to offset some extra calories ill be consuming over the weekend.
im all about unsustainable crash diets.

sat: i skipped food/shakes entirely until dinner on vday. steak, lobster, mashed potatoes, dessert, that's well into the 2xxx calories.

sun: under 900 cal.

today: dim sum with the fam, who knows how many cal. light dinner, 3 eggs and some broccoli 200 cal.

tomorrow: family dinner, who knows how many cal... probably skip lunch.

[red kryptonite]

Even a week before the big blow up, she'd be going out, coming home late, then telling me the next day how one of her Asian friend's boyfriend paid for everyone's dinner and drinks, a massive bill, and how "that's Asian culture".

I've always been generous with friends and happy to grab the bill, but I'm not going to go out every weekend and drop $2k on a bunch of ungrateful random chicks, it's simply not feasible. All this obsession with money has made me feel lesser than, and brought out some serious deep seated insecurities.



is that really asian culture though?!?!
im ok with playing the "provider" role but why the fuck would i "provide" for her friends too? is she gonna give me a free pass to bang them too?

[BIC_BAWS]

Even a week before the big blow up, she'd be going out, coming home late, then telling me the next day how one of her Asian friend's boyfriend paid for everyone's dinner and drinks, a massive bill, and how "that's Asian culture".

How convenient she left out all the downsides of "Asian culture". I just watched a movie about 40-50 year olds (so most of u guys on RS) who moved to Canada for a better life and all the shit they had to endure. It highlighted the toxicity between their parents and them, all the bickering and comparing, all the negativity and not being able to stand up for yourself because it's within the culture.

"Asian culture" is largely showing off who's a bigger baller for face. I know someone who dropped G65 AMG money on a wedding and complained about the guests who "only gave $100" for red pocket lol. I also know someone else, who's bf at the time "paid for everyone's dinner and drinks - a massive bill", but it was really the gf's money and her CC lol.

You don't want that bullshit anyway. She's stupid for thinking she'll be treated well long-term with that mentality. That quickly turns into dependency on your man for purchases, needing permission to buy things/do things, pretty much my childhood before my mom started her own business. You'll get your revenge when "my mans paid for everyone" turns into "my man is the man of the house so I have to listen and stfu" :eyeroll:

As a kid, I was raised by a single mother, we didn't have much. My HK buddies in school all had nice houses, and I used to wish I was Chinese when I was a kid, so we could be wealthy like them. They used to clown that we lived in a co-op, and I'd get my mom to drop me off up the street from school because our brown beater car embarrassed me.

I relate to the growing up in a co-op so much. Recently I had an acquaintance ask about how I can afford to have a house - you guys know the truth to this. And then they said some shit, in which I replied with, I wish I had your kind of privilege to just pay rent at home and have the freedom to move out whenever I want to without worrying about how my parents are gonna pay their bills.

[bcrdukes]

That's some weird ass Asian culture but not unheard of.

When I go out with my friends here in Vancouver, we just take turns covering the bill. Mandatory fight for the bill because Asian, but otherwise, there's no dollar amount being tallied or anything like that. We get together to celebrate our friendship and talk shit about people on RS. Then again, it's like, three or four guys and their spouses, not a huge gaggle of people and $2000 dinners. I should be on BrokeScene.net. :heckno:

Any how, happy lunar new year, you freeloading elderly abusing jerks! :D

[whitev70r]

I think Mikey means Filipino culture which is definitely a lot more showy, BIG, live on debt than other Asian cultures like Canto or thrifty Chinamen ... but then what do I know, I could be wrong.

[Badhobz]

^yah..... what the hell do you know about it ya.. white guy spy guy you!?!??!?

Asian culture, like most cultures are full of idiotic stupidities.

The whole filial piety thing can suck a dick.
So much for family values, you should see the infighting about money and properties back home in shanghai when grandma or grandpa goes and their house is now worth 30 million CAD... all of a sudden all these people come out of the woodworks claiming how much they cared for the dead corpses and how they deserve a share too. I DIDNT GET SHIT!!!!! where the fuck is my god damn share!?!? (p.s i also didnt do shit, i havent seen my grandparents since i was ... 10? whatever, i carry our last name!!! GIVE MONEY NAO!!)

Whatever, she's just using culture as a crutch for her shitty behaviour. Goooood luck finding a guy willing to pay for all your shit, idiots like that are long taken and nobody wants a nearly 40 year old bitch.

[bcrdukes]

Weaponizing culture as a means = :nono:

[CivicBlues]

Mike you should have responded: "Why don't you go date an Asian guy instead?" and see the look on her face. :lol

and wtf is "Asian culture" anyways? Don't lump my culture in with those heathen North Koreans and Azerbaijanis !!

[Gerbs]

What is the difference between dating and paid companionship these days?

Been thinking the same since dating has went up 100% in costs since 2021 vs 2026. Younger girls 19 - 25 offer to pay at least 25-33% of the time, when I was previously single. Now I at 25-28 range, out of 7 girls recently, only 2 offered. Maybe in their head they're like oh, he has two cars, business and his own place, he should pay cause he has money. Which is not fully true!

Wrote it off as cost of being 30, pay 2 play like Porsche.

Also noticed
- more ghosting
- OLD Vancouver 24-28 asian pool is dead
- Toronto pool looks 10x better, but 3x population
- talked to 7 girls in person in the last month, 4 turned into numbers, success rate is pretty high
- expectations from social media retardedly high, but valentines day content + delulu friends don't help
- Is expecting $35-75+ dinner + drinks or activity weekly a dating norm, I already miss turtling at home lol

[unit]

picking up a 2k tab for your girlfriends friends... miss me with that shit.
thinking asian culture means 'crazy rich asians' is not normal asian culture.
treating your friends is one thing but treating a big group of people you barely know is ridiculous.