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09-14-2009, 10:57 AM
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#1
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RS controls my life!
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Burnaby
Posts: 731
Thanked 82 Times in 30 Posts
Failed 45 Times in 9 Posts
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superuseless superpowers
don't let superman hog all the spotlight
Laser Pointer Eyes
Your gaze isn't strong enough to burn through anything, just strong enough to point things out. Makes prolonged eye contact particularly awkward and painful during romantic dinners and job interviews.
Healing Punch
Float like a butterfly and sting like the bedside manner of Mother Teresa. As a superhero, sometimes you have to resort to violence. Too bad your ferocious fists instantly heal the damage you inflict. Whereas most punches would deliver a crushing Ivan Drago-like knockout. Yours leave your opponent feeling amazingly refreshed and rejuvenated. At least until he counters with an uppercut to your esophagus.
PreMOMnition
The power to see what your mother is doing at all times. PreMOMnition cannot be turned off and operates similar to picture-in-picture technology, so your mom is ALWAYS in your field of vision. Oh, and good luck trying to get laid. Even viagra can’t combat real-time images of your mom waxing your father’s back.
In-Flight Flight
Being able to soar through the air still won't save you from recycled oxygen and endless stories from complete strangers. Known as the "Cabin Sparrow," this so-called power lets you fly, but only within the confines of an airplane. At least you can leapfrog the beverage cart when explosive diarrhea strikes at 30,000 feet.
Turn into a brick wall... Forever
The power to transform into a brick wall is truly awesome. Except when you can only do it once and can’t ever change back. And while Larry’s powers did momentarily save his village from the barbarians...they came back later with a ladder.
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09-14-2009, 11:19 AM
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#2
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I subscribe to Revscene
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,940
Thanked 320 Times in 123 Posts
Failed 349 Times in 74 Posts
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this is retarded, thread fail
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09-14-2009, 11:38 AM
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#3
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14 dolla balla aint got nothing on me!
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Van
Posts: 636
Thanked 301 Times in 67 Posts
Failed 70 Times in 19 Posts
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^
NO!
i laughed, op good post.
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09-14-2009, 11:46 AM
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#4
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無敵
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 4,320
Thanked 407 Times in 151 Posts
Failed 33 Times in 17 Posts
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That's pretty lame. =S
__________________
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09-14-2009, 11:58 AM
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#5
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Hopeless Romantic
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Surrey
Posts: 2,544
Thanked 989 Times in 232 Posts
Failed 12 Times in 7 Posts
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I thought it was alright... I lol'd at the laser pointer eyes
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09-14-2009, 12:00 PM
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#6
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RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,858
Thanked 2,420 Times in 669 Posts
Failed 530 Times in 136 Posts
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Those cannot even be considered "super" powers. Those are curses.
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09-14-2009, 12:22 PM
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#7
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I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Van.
Posts: 2,929
Thanked 1,967 Times in 290 Posts
Failed 536 Times in 92 Posts
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wtf? who ever came up with mom-vision that's stupid
__________________
RIP JN
UNCE UNCE UNCE!
Quote:
Originally Posted by strykn
Comparing A&B with deadmau5? Really? I should fucking slap you
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2007 Acura TL
2005 Acura TL....RIP
2003 Honda Accord Coupe V6....RIP
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09-14-2009, 12:39 PM
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#8
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Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: May 2008
Location: B.C.
Posts: 2,039
Thanked 101 Times in 57 Posts
Failed 44 Times in 20 Posts
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............................ gross on MOminiton
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09-14-2009, 01:09 PM
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#9
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Unofficial Tin Foil Hat Specialist.
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,150
Thanked 1,529 Times in 604 Posts
Failed 326 Times in 125 Posts
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^ Hey, keeping a "watchful" eye on your mom isn't a bad thing. But in that case it's horrid!!!!
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09-14-2009, 01:11 PM
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#10
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Banned (ABWS)?
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 19,501
Thanked 4,142 Times in 1,788 Posts
Failed 434 Times in 211 Posts
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hahah worst powers ever.
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09-14-2009, 01:17 PM
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#11
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My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Richmond
Posts: 2,345
Thanked 736 Times in 159 Posts
Failed 89 Times in 25 Posts
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i lol'ed a the mom thing
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09-14-2009, 01:22 PM
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#12
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Zombie Mod
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Langley
Posts: 9,956
Thanked 5,279 Times in 1,592 Posts
Failed 120 Times in 54 Posts
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The rest are here:
http://superuseless.blogspot.com/
My favorite is the healing punch.
__________________
Romans 10:9
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09-14-2009, 01:35 PM
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#13
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SFICC-05*
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 7,135
Thanked 545 Times in 127 Posts
Failed 107 Times in 33 Posts
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I lol'd
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hyde
nammer don't listen to me, they listen to money. do you know how cheap it is to have someone killed in vancouver? let alone a beat down
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09-14-2009, 01:42 PM
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#14
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I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: East Vancouver
Posts: 2,605
Thanked 966 Times in 248 Posts
Failed 39 Times in 17 Posts
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The healing punch could be useful though if it can heal other injuries also.
Then if you wanna hurt somebody, use those kicks and elbows.
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09-14-2009, 01:54 PM
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#15
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Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 1,411
Thanked 217 Times in 71 Posts
Failed 98 Times in 39 Posts
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lol post more plz
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09-14-2009, 02:06 PM
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#16
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RS.net, helping ugly ppl have sex since 2001
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Vancouver
Posts: 8,858
Thanked 2,420 Times in 669 Posts
Failed 530 Times in 136 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shead
lol post more plz
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http://superuseless.blogspot.com/
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09-14-2009, 02:37 PM
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#17
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I contribute to threads in the offtopic forum
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: ur sistrs pants
Posts: 2,656
Thanked 606 Times in 105 Posts
Failed 342 Times in 57 Posts
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zzzzzzz
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09-14-2009, 02:51 PM
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#18
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RS controls my life!
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Funky Town
Posts: 711
Thanked 1,037 Times in 94 Posts
Failed 62 Times in 11 Posts
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09-14-2009, 03:07 PM
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#19
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RS controls my life!
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Burnaby
Posts: 731
Thanked 82 Times in 30 Posts
Failed 45 Times in 9 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by you!
zzzzzzz
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got that covered too
super slumberjack
After awaking from an especially violent dream, the "Slumberjack" finds his bedroom, house and entire zipcode in utter shambles. At least it's a good excuse to forgo post-coital snuggling.
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09-14-2009, 04:49 PM
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#20
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F**K YOUR HEAD
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: vancouver
Posts: 8,719
Thanked 8,153 Times in 1,251 Posts
Failed 643 Times in 181 Posts
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This thread was the product of a superuseless superpower
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09-14-2009, 04:51 PM
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#21
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RS controls my life!
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Burnaby
Posts: 731
Thanked 82 Times in 30 Posts
Failed 45 Times in 9 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ilvtofu
This thread was the product of a superuseless superpower
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i have the superuseless superpower to create threads
and you also have the superuseless superpower to reply
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09-14-2009, 05:22 PM
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#22
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MOD
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: VANCOUVER
Posts: 26,850
Thanked 7,553 Times in 1,957 Posts
Failed 153 Times in 85 Posts
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09-14-2009, 06:06 PM
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#23
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I STILL don't get it
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: burnaby
Posts: 460
Thanked 70 Times in 26 Posts
Failed 29 Times in 3 Posts
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09-14-2009, 06:17 PM
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#24
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ESKETIT
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Shambhala
Posts: 23,379
Thanked 9,705 Times in 2,331 Posts
Failed 998 Times in 241 Posts
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w t f
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09-14-2009, 07:02 PM
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#25
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Banned (ABWS)
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MacLeod
Posts: 7,298
Thanked 542 Times in 289 Posts
Failed 1,639 Times in 418 Posts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vansterdam
w t f
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oh shit! you're back! I thought you vanished before you're giving your 420th thanks.
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