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The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... |
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09-01-2009, 01:11 PM
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#1 | | NEWBIE ACCOUNT!
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| Do you ever feel like this?
After a pretty rough week of work I find out that one of my buddies is dating one of my girlfriends. You're thinking so what?
Well, this girl and I hung out lots; we did the movies , the dinners, the never ending convo's via msn/txt/call etc, you know, the usual stuff you do when you hang out. I never felt anything for this girl, she was just a very good friend. She was a person i could call on at all times - and 98/100 she'd be there.
For whatever reason - i feel like this wont be possible anymore. A part of me is happy that she is hooked up ; however, the other part is sad cuz I wont get to hang out and do stuff with her again. She hasn't told me anything yet - the info just came down the grapevine..
She's an easy person to talk to so I see myself talking to her about this, but I don't want to initiate the first move...
Till that happens, has anyone else ever felt like this?
/Verb OutZ
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09-01-2009, 04:05 PM
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#2 | | DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Vancouver
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I can totally sympathize, it's really shitty feeling.
It's almost like losing her entirely, except you didn't really lose anything.
You can talk to your buddy about it--casually of course.
P.S. how long have they been dating?
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09-01-2009, 04:24 PM
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#3 | | Banned (ABWS)
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since you really didnt feel anything for her, then it shouldn't really matter.. shes single and can do whatever she wants. your in the friendzone anyways, so just ride it out now.
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09-01-2009, 05:23 PM
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#4 | | NEWBIE ACCOUNT!
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by Physixx  I can totally sympathize, it's really shitty feeling.
It's almost like losing her entirely, except you didn't really lose anything.
You can talk to your buddy about it--casually of course.
P.S. how long have they been dating? | exactly , i've never had anything to lose but seems like i lost something very close.
He had asked her out sometime last week?
I dont know what I'd say to my buddy though - He's pretty chill but I cant say that "hey i wanna hang with ur gf as usual" I'm sure there'll be some give and take... Quote:
Originally Posted by 03aspec since you really didnt feel anything for her, then it shouldn't really matter.. shes single and can do whatever she wants. your in the friendzone anyways, so just ride it out now. | well, she was more in my friendzone than I in her's. I got a feeling she had a thing for me , but i didnt act on it ; cuz i didnt wanna screw up the friendship.
You are exactly right , she is single and can do whatever she wants. But the feeling is pretty bad , everytime i think about it my heart just sinks...
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09-01-2009, 05:25 PM
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#5 | | I WANT MY 10 YEARS BACK FROM RS.net!
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well, you should think at the bright side...you can now hang out and talk with your buddy and her at the same time.
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09-01-2009, 08:08 PM
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#6 | | Banned (ABWS)
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^ i lol'd
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09-02-2009, 06:38 AM
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#7 | | NEWBIE ACCOUNT!
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by asian_XL well, you should think at the bright side...you can now hang out and talk with your buddy and her at the same time. | haha u r too funny man....
i think this pic describes my feelings , even though i do not realize it... 
so how the fuck do u ride out this feeling
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09-02-2009, 04:03 PM
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#8 | | Banned (BBM)
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by 03aspec since you really didnt feel anything for her, then it shouldn't really matter.. shes single and can do whatever she wants. your in the friendzone anyways, so just ride it out now. | +1
no need to feel guilty
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09-02-2009, 06:37 PM
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#9 | | noob
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Vancouver
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life goes on...
plus you said yourself you didn't have those kind of feelings for her.
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09-02-2009, 08:41 PM
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#10 | | NOOB, Not Quite a Regular!
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i think its like after you lose it then you start to appreciate
its like losing someone close i know *pats*
dont worry just be cool you'll be fine
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09-02-2009, 09:21 PM
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#11 | | NEWBIE ACCOUNT!
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by AsRealAsItGets life goes on...
plus you said yourself you didn't have those kind of feelings for her. | yes it does go on, but its hard. Quote:
Originally Posted by conerychen i think its like after you lose it then you start to appreciate
its like losing someone close i know *pats*
dont worry just be cool you'll be fine | exactly, but how do you 'be cool'.
i've been thinking about this shit all day long. I dont know if i like her or If i just like the hanging out / talking. is there some criteria i check my self against for liking someone ?? i know it sounds like a dumb question - but i'm seriously confused ...
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09-02-2009, 09:30 PM
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#12 | | I WANT MY 10 YEARS BACK FROM RS.net!
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So...how come you don't have a gf?
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09-02-2009, 09:36 PM
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#13 | | Proud to be called a RS Regular!
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how do you not like her but feel jelous? dicks before chicks man you just gotta find more guy freindz yo
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09-03-2009, 12:20 AM
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#14 | | My AFC gave me an ABS CEL code of LOL while at WOT!
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yeah what asian XL ask
why not get a girl friend of your own
she'll be the next close buddy and lover
win and uhh win win
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09-03-2009, 12:40 AM
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#15 | | I bringith the lowerballerith
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sounds like you might like her man. but like some other poster said, you appreciate it once it's gone. just gotta move on now. find other stuff to do, keep yourself busy.
you can't go wrecking your friends.
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09-03-2009, 02:24 AM
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#16 | | Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
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Originally Posted by verbatim i've been thinking about this shit all day long. I dont know if i like her or If i just like the hanging out / talking. is there some criteria i check my self against for liking someone ?? i know it sounds like a dumb question - but i'm seriously confused ... | well ask your self this...do you feel jealous that she is now dating somebody? (doesn't matter if that somebody is your friend or not)...
To tell you the truth, the fact that you are feeling crappy tells me that you like her.
if she is just in the 'frienzone', you can't possibly feel as crappy as you are feeling right now.
like others mentioned, nothing much you can do about this right now...just ride it out...going to meet other girls will help.
Last edited by albert116; 09-03-2009 at 02:44 AM.
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09-03-2009, 07:29 AM
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#17 | | F**K YOUR HEAD
Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: vancouver
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I had the same situation as you, and the guy told me not to talk to her,
They broke up in less than a month  asshole
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09-03-2009, 09:21 AM
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#18 | | Hypa owned my ass at least once
Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Japan
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Maybe you don't like her but subconciously, you just don't like people trespassing on your resources 
(whether those resources are currently being used or not)
edit:
There's no shame in this if you find that there's partial truth to it. We guys can be a selfish lot sometimes.
Last edited by Noir; 09-03-2009 at 09:27 AM.
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09-03-2009, 09:26 AM
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#19 | | NEWBIE ACCOUNT!
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by asian_XL So...how come you don't have a gf? | I guess i didnt really care for other girls, cuz she was there to hangout with. i mean we did everything bf/gf would do except getting physical and having an official title. Quote:
Originally Posted by GoateeMe how do you not like her but feel jelous? dicks before chicks man you just gotta find more guy freindz yo | I'm not sure if its jealousy or if i'm just gonna miss her not being there for me. like i said she was a person that i could always count on to be there... Quote:
Originally Posted by Durrann1984 yeah what asian XL ask
why not get a girl friend of your own
she'll be the next close buddy and lover
win and uhh win win | ever since i hear this news, no matter how many 'hunnies' i see , i just dont seem to care for them and that is very unlike me. i'll be the first to point out some poon walking down the street , or jb sittin at starbucks etc.. Quote:
Originally Posted by ebee sounds like you might like her man. but like some other poster said, you appreciate it once it's gone. just gotta move on now. find other stuff to do, keep yourself busy.
you can't go wrecking your friends. | what kind of other stuff is there to do. i work , and i go to school - thats all i do. before it was work , school , and hang with her / friends ( friends = that guy + our mutual friends .
I dont wanna go wrecking things.. or have him go on a tirade saying i stole his gf or anything... Quote:
Originally Posted by albert116 well ask your self this...do you feel jealous that she is now dating somebody? (doesn't matter if that somebody is your friend or not)...
To tell you the truth, the fact that you are feeling crappy tells me that you like her.
if she is just in the 'frienzone', you can't possibly feel as crappy as you are feeling right now.
like others mentioned, nothing much you can do about this right now...just ride it out...going to meet other girls will help. | i did ask my self that, and i guess i feel a little lonely knowing that we cant spend the same amount of time together. Does that equate to feeling jealous???
Though i'm feeling crappy, i dont think i see my self getting physical with her. one my friends said if i dont see my self getting physical , there is no attraction...
meeting other girls might help , but for some reason , like i said above , i dont seem to care for them as much anymore... Quote:
Originally Posted by ilvtofu I had the same situation as you, and the guy told me not to talk to her,
They broke up in less than a month asshole | how did you approach it? did you talk to the guy or the girl? how did you ride it out?
did you see your self getting physical with the girl?
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09-03-2009, 09:34 AM
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#20 | | NEWBIE ACCOUNT!
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Originally Posted by Noir Maybe you don't like her but subconciously, you just don't like people trespassing on your resources
(whether those resources are currently being used or not)
edit:
There's no shame in this if you find that there's partial truth to it. We guys can be a selfish lot sometimes. | I guess. When I thought about it I also felt a little selfish, wanting her all for my self. I didnt care about her happiness just mine. I felt like a jerk after that thought process.
So how do you fix it? How do you be happy when someone is "using" "your resources"?
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09-03-2009, 09:45 AM
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#21 | | Banned (ABWS)
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want to know how to fix it? GROW A FUCKING PAIR!
there are far too many women out there, to be hung up over one stupid broad. you gotta turn your cock into "jasons shank" and pretty much try to stick it in anything that moves.
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09-03-2009, 09:45 AM
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#22 | | Hypa owned my ass at least once
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| Quote:
Originally Posted by verbatim I guess. When I thought about it I also felt a little selfish, wanting her all for my self. I didnt care about her happiness just mine. I felt like a jerk after that thought process.
So how do you fix it? How do you be happy when someone is "using" "your resources"? | You don't. Selfishness is a natural part of anyone and everyone. Just rely on self-control and ride the feeling out. The selfishness will not go away. One can just hide it in privacy so as to spare others of the inconvenience.
Sorry bro but that's the truth. We gotta man up some and take it.
Last edited by Noir; 09-03-2009 at 09:51 AM.
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09-03-2009, 10:25 AM
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#23 | | Diagonally parked in a parallel universe
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: vancouver
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Originally Posted by Noir You don't. Selfishness is a natural part of anyone and everyone. Just rely on self-control and ride the feeling out. The selfishness will not go away. One can just hide it in privacy so as to spare others of the inconvenience.
Sorry bro but that's the truth. We gotta man up some and take it. | QFT
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09-03-2009, 01:43 PM
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#24 | | NEWBIE ACCOUNT!
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Originally Posted by 03aspec want to know how to fix it? GROW A FUCKING PAIR!
there are far too many women out there, to be hung up over one stupid broad. you gotta turn your cock into "jasons shank" and pretty much try to stick it in anything that moves. | sure there's alot of fish in the sea but its hard to find someone who gets you. you can't develop a ~5year friendship in 5 nights... Quote:
Originally Posted by Noir You don't. Selfishness is a natural part of anyone and everyone. Just rely on self-control and ride the feeling out. The selfishness will not go away. One can just hide it in privacy so as to spare others of the inconvenience.
Sorry bro but that's the truth. We gotta man up some and take it. | so in my case, would it be better to cut all ties with her , or be there for her incase things dont work out for her.. if i cut all ties , i exclude my self from group activities cuz both of them are there ; if i keep connected , it'll be that much harder to suppress the feelings...
this shit is insane, the more i think about it the more i get confused...
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09-03-2009, 01:55 PM
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#25 | | VLS Pet Forum Mod
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Originally Posted by verbatim I guess i didnt really care for other girls, cuz she was there to hangout with. i mean we did everything bf/gf would do except getting physical and having an official title.
I'm not sure if its jealousy or if i'm just gonna miss her not being there for me. like i said she was a person that i could always count on to be there...
i did ask my self that, and i guess i feel a little lonely knowing that we cant spend the same amount of time together. Does that equate to feeling jealous???
Though i'm feeling crappy, i dont think i see my self getting physical with her. one my friends said if i dont see my self getting physical , there is no attraction... | I don't think you ever gave it a chance to become physical. I think you answered it above. Your significant other should be someone who "I could always count on" and "did everything bf/gf would do"
Sometimes when there are no time pressures and you don't have to make a move the transition from friend to couple can take awhile. Now you will get to see her in another light. I don't think you've lost her completely, unless she decides that being you never made a move that she is done with you.
you snooze you lose.
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