[Confidential] How important is sex? (Mature discussion only. NSFW dialog)

[El Bastardo]

The following is an anonymous post. If the original poster would like to reply to any comments, please PM me

how important is sex in your relationship?
if it was against your significant others religion or morals, what would you do with it?
or if you slowly stopped having it so often because of their religion,
what would you deal with the situation since as humans we all have needs?

[Isaiah11]

It's important but not very. As long as I get my weekly dose, I'm happy.

if it was against my SO's religious views, I wouldn't date them in the first place, a person that demonizes sex

[snails]

i see a few flaws in the post, seems like it contradicts itself.

if it was against your significant others religion or morals, what would you do with it?
if it was somehow against morals or even religion its not something you should change, assuming she... (lets face it, its a girl) is a virgin and plans to stay that way till presumably marriage

or if you slowly stopped having it so often because of their religion

if it was agasint religion/morals i dont think she would have done it in the first place buttt if that is the case she is feeling guilty about it and obviously is having regrets. ask yourself, do you want to have sex with someone who will probably regret it??


what would you deal with the situation since as humans we all have needs?

FAP... if the girl is the one you plan to stick with, im sure you can get by. that being said, it depends on your personality, are you someone who is constantly sexually active?? is it something that you will miss within days??

for me it is very important, if you cant show your affection in all sorts of ways then she may not be any more to you than a best friend, because what really separates a best friend who is always there and a girlfriend... sex and affection.


so, whats worth more, her as a gf, or sex?

[BrRsn]

Leave the person, seriously.

You got enough limitations in your life. From the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep there is someone or something telling you what to do.

You can't drive too fast because there's a speed limit, you can't wear what's comfortable because your job has a dress code, you can't drink before a certain time because its not socially acceptable, you have to groom yourself in a certain way because otherwise you don't look professional, you can't spend your day doing what you want because you gotta work to pay to live under a roof. It's just asinine if you step back and think about it -- you spend the entirety of your life dictated by limitations rather than possibilities. And now you've chosen voluntarily to be with someone that restricts you further ... what?


How old are you? Sounds like you're with someone who isn't even old enough to realize what their own views on life/morals/principles are -- "Ok we can do it" -- then she goes home and reads a page in whatever religious book she reads and --"ok we gotta stop". Doesn't that seem a little off? Maybe there's other reasons and 'religion' is just a copout -- it's the best copout because you can't really argue with it lol


Age?

[Noir]

No sex? Might as well be best friends.

[El Bastardo]

The following is a reply from the anonymous original poster

as a virgin all my life until her, my 3rd girlfriend and first person I've had sex with,
after i first had sex we had it almost every time we spent time with each other,
but as the months passed she slowly wanted to have less and less sex,
i crave for affectionate sex, not fucking.
but we never really have affectionate sex a lot because she gets extremely horny and never really include affection and intimacy in our sex.
and btw I'm becoming 19 this up coming year and she is my first girl I've ever had a serious relationship with.

also, she is very religious and after she started going to church more she didn't want to have it as much anymore because sex is a sin and she doesn't feel holy in the eyes of the lord.

and lately i been feeling that my needs have not been met recently and that i don't feel as motivated or happy lately,
not to say sex is what i only think about, but it is quite a big percentage of what i believe a relationship is.

[Excelsis]

.......

seriously? if you're going to fall under a belief trap it's going to be a hell of a journey to get back

the choice still lies with you, if you want to stick around but no sex you can choose to stay if you can handle it, if you know you won't then you probably won't last with her long which is your case atm

have you talked to her about this? or just nodded it off?

[melloman]

A big percentage of the population goes through this, the questions been asked time and time again.

The only real answers:

A) She puts out more
B) You control yourself and decrease the need for it
C) You leave her

[gdoh]

once/twice a week is good for me, for some guys tho they aren't really bothered by not having sex. maybe she should go find one of those guys.

do not forget that it is a two way street, if you do things for her that keep her happy then she will be more inclined to put out.

have you tried telling her straight up?

[mr_chin]

Imagine the lion cannot have sex with the lioness in the pride, will the lion allow the lioness to stay in the pride? No.

The worst part is, it's due to a religious belief. We're humans, we have feelings, we have urges and needs. If it's some imagination that is the cause, then I would say that's just ridiculous. Leave this girl or else you will end up cheating on her. Hopefully she is lucky to find a guy to accept this fact.
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[snails]

or


/thread



if her religious values are higher than yours and you find this difficult/impossible to face and carry on with then she needs a guys with the same religious values, and you need a more sexually active relationship.. cant changes someones beliefs even if you find them silly just to get laid

[Hondaracer]

You sound like the woman in the relationship..
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[El Bastardo]

The following is a reply from the anonymous original poster

yes i have tried to talk to her about it but, she said that whatever i say she will not lower her morals to change her mind about sex.
we both have high sexual drives, but she tends to shy away from it because of her religion.
and i do, do everything for her, i believe i'm the ideal boyfriend because i do everything for her and i always try to find ways to make her happy but i expect a little sexual reward at the end of the day..

[snails]

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

The following is a reply from the anonymous original poster

yes i have tried to talk to her about it but, she said that whatever i say she will not lower her morals to change her mind about sex.
we both have high sexual drives, but she tends to shy away from it because of her religion.
and i do, do everything for her, i believe i'm the ideal boyfriend because i do everything for her and i always try to find ways to make her happy but i expect a little sexual reward at the end of the day..

that may be your problem right there, people want what they cant have, you make everything to easy for her, shouldnt she be working for you? same way you sacrafice to make her happy maybe she should as well, take a step back from the relationship... you dont wear the pants, just have something more casual, enjoy your life, if you are giving her your 100% maybe lower that till 60% because at this point you are just best friends who can kiss

maybe find a loop hole! anywhere in the bible say BJ's and anal is a sin?

[Excelsis]

when you're putting in more effort than you receive pleasure in return, perhaps would be the time to move on

[Qmx323]

Bro, you're 19.

If you want it and you aint gettin' it from her, look elsewhere.

Lack of sexual intimacy was about 1/3 of why I broke up a few months ago. Combine that with the lack of closeness she showed it was really clear that at this point we were not right for each other.

[Tapioca]

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

The following is a reply from the anonymous original poster

yes i have tried to talk to her about it but, she said that whatever i say she will not lower her morals to change her mind about sex.
we both have high sexual drives, but she tends to shy away from it because of her religion.
and i do, do everything for her, i believe i'm the ideal boyfriend because i do everything for her and i always try to find ways to make her happy but i expect a little sexual reward at the end of the day..

The fact that she is horny, but still won't cave into her desires means that her religious beliefs have consumed her. From my experience, I will say that if you're not religious yourself, it's not worth pursuing a long-term relationship with this girl.

I know it's hard as this is the girl you've lost your virginity to. You probably think that you love her. But, you're so young. You shouldn't even be concerned about the long-term with this girl - you should be out there experimenting with different women so when you're 32, you know exactly what you'll want and you'll have no regrets.

[murd0c]

This is a tough situation in a way since she is your first. That being said I think your best bet is to break it off with her. Yes it will be hard but you can't lie to yourself and being at your age which is a males highest part of the sex drive you shouldn't have to worry about this BS.

You are young so go experience life, you guys are in completely different head frames and in a way it's selfish trying to convince her since religion plays such a large part in peoples lives even tho it's foolish the way shes going about things.

[dinosaur]

Just another case of religion fucking shit up...

[6793026]

first of all, sex is NOT a sin. Church and religion is trying to teach people to hold out for the husband / wife. long story short, it should be something important to share with someone you love and not use it as a tool to meet people.

[El Bastardo]

The following is a reply from the anonymous original poster

update:

i talked to her countless times about it and she just came up that she doesn't want to get intimate anymore because she feels dirty and she follows the bible quite thoroughly, and i respect that,
and i am no one to challenge her religion but i read in the bible that the ones that are sexually immoral will be damned,
but i believe that sexually immoral means when you sleep with someone to meet them, as what 6793026 said,
but in my opinion i believe that it isn't sexually immoral if you got intimate with the one you loved,
i don't want to be "that guy" to break up with her because of lack of intimacy but it seems to be pushing me to it because i feel like we're nothing more but friends that just do coupley things excluding the sex.

[gdoh]

if you need a thread like this to justify staying with her because of lack of sex then you pretty much answered your own question.

[dinosaur]

dude....please be that guy who breaks up with her because of it.

if not, you will have a looooooooooooong life of never being able to live up to her religion and not getting laid. this is just the start...i promise you.

you are young-find someone with similar beliefs.

[Ri2]

Really important. If I don't get laid, I catch an attitude quick.
I don't ask for much besides QT so dick on the regular would keep me happy.


I knew a couple who was just like you and they dated for 6+ years and were engaged to be married..except the guy was in your chicks' position.
They broke up a few months before the wedding and now are in much happier, fulfilling relationships. She gets the guilt free intimacy/sex she needs and he got a chick with the same beliefs he has.

[Razor Ramon HG]

Sexual intimacy is as important in a relationship as trust. Dump her.
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