[Confidential] How important is sex? (Mature discussion only. NSFW dialog)

[mr_chin]

I can't seem to grasp the understand of a no sex relationship. Do the couple never touch each other? Do they never hug, kiss, or cuddle? If they cuddle they gotta have sex. When the guy gets a hard on and the girls feels it, I'm sure it's game time.
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[fliptuner]

[dark0821]

i think sex is pretty important...and you are 19... when i was 19 i was horny as fuck. ive dumped a couple of girls because the one has put me in the same situation as you...

in my opinion it just comes down to your decision, but just out of curiosity, i assume you both were virgins before you two hooked up, right?

another tip though...
I use to be like you ALOT, I would do everything for my SO, but I would also COUNT EVERY LITTLE THING Ive done for her...at the end of the day I will always feel like I got short handed...and in time feel stressed/unhappy etc etc

Learn to let go and stop counting. I honestly think I still do the same amount or even more for my fiancee nowadays, but since I stopped counting, I find myself happier more often. (=P but ya I defn think in my current status I am getting alot more than what I deserve)

[stewie]

extremely important!

me and my gf had to have a discussion about this last weekend...slowly over time we were having less and less sex.

i'd try when we sleep together and she'd push my hands away...tried at night..in the morning...when she got out of the shower...and then when its her time of the month it seemed as if there was no point in even attempting..

so last saturday morning she tried to initiate sex with me and i pulled her line on her "im not in the mood". an hour later we were driving and i flat out asked her about it cause its been bugging me, everytime i try, shes not in the mood...she didnt even realize that we were only having sex once or twice a month...told her about it all..ever since then we've been having great sex almost every day, which i dont expect, but shes starting to initiate a loooot more now.

so if your gf doesnt want to have sex...let her go man. your 19...you should just go on a bang spree for the next year or two, just get all the partying and etc out of your system, then look to settle down. (well, thats my opinion on it at least)

[6793026]

^ don't you dare to marry a gf without evening solving this issue... if you open up van sun today, it says
1) guys focus on long duration of sex and positions
2) girls focus on location, the flirting, the different places aside from being in the bedroom.

you GOTTA figure out the sex part first and the girl has to initiate. i'm going to hvae that talk with my gf again very soon.

[dinosaur]

^ and just to add a little bit to this, but you gotta warm her up. Yes, I know some of you dudes know this, but as the frequency of sex drops there is also a drop in "wooo'ing" her. You guys can deny it, but its true. Let's face it, you guys don't have to 'work' or impress us anymore when you are in a committed relationship.

Don't understand this a me blaming the dude for the decline in sex, there is obviously slacking on both sides, but to peak her interest there needs to be a pre-game...whether that pre-game is foreplay, compliments, flowers, making her dinner, cuddling on the couch and watching a movie, putting away the laundry, etc it all makes her thinks, "aww, my SO is great...I love him so much", etc.

I know you dudes are rolling your eyes now, but what I said above is true

[El Bastardo]

The following is a reply from the anonymous original poster

stewie i wish it was that was that easy
you my friend, are living in the perfect world i wish i was in
and in response to 6793026 and dinosaur,
I'm always the one who initiates sex,
she only initiates it once in a blue moon,
and i already do everything for her,
the only thing i can do more is to buy her a car and house on a silver plater LOL
and i never thought of counting the things I've done for her
but when i think about it i feel like I'm getting less than what I'm giving.
all i want in reward for all my hard effort is sex
and since we stopped having less and less sex,
my effort have dropped by a lot,
in addition,
whenever I'd try to initiate sex by starting off by a sensual massage,
she'd push my hands away and tell me its annoying when i do
and recently i just told her i was starting to find her less sexually attractive and not seeing her sexually anymore in effort to not get so sexual around her lol
i want her but then again a part of me don't even want to bother anymore because we'll just end up having about a fight that all i want is sex lol

[stewie]

^ from saying that, it seems as if shes using you basically...

you spend money and break your back for her, and in return, you get nothing.

believe me, im not living no fairy tale relationship...but i do talk to her about things that concern me, and you should be talking to yours more. you probably want her cause you've invested so much time and effort into her and it sucks to see it go to waste..but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do..

just remember, theres plenty of fish in the sea, if shes not grateful for what you have to offer to her, theres a million more women in this city who would jump on you in a heart beat.

[Gridlock]

Originally Posted by dinosaur

^ and just to add a little bit to this, but you gotta warm her up. Yes, I know some of you dudes know this, but as the frequency of sex drops there is also a drop in "wooo'ing" her. You guys can deny it, but its true. Let's face it, you guys don't have to 'work' or impress us anymore when you are in a committed relationship.

Don't understand this a me blaming the dude for the decline in sex, there is obviously slacking on both sides, but to peak her interest there needs to be a pre-game...whether that pre-game is foreplay, compliments, flowers, making her dinner, cuddling on the couch and watching a movie, putting away the laundry, etc it all makes her thinks, "aww, my SO is great...I love him so much", etc.

I know you dudes are rolling your eyes now, but what I said above is true

[6793026]

stweie: just cause a girl is NOT having sex doesn't mean she is using you.

my girl is not using me but yes, she has a low sex drive. i instantly took her off the pill and it was a bit better; she admits the pill does make a difference (at least for her).

as for OP; fuck yeah, i agree with you, i CAN do everything for her and ALL i fooking want is to be fucked good, i need her to initiate at least once a week? or 1 out of every 5 times.

i tell my girls all the fooking time, if you want ot control a man, give him sex and you will get ANYTHING you want. it's direct, effective and the ONLY thing you need to give. If you're a guy, you have alike 20 billion options to choose from to make her happy ....

[dinosaur]

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

and recently i just told her i was starting to find her less sexually attractive and not seeing her sexually anymore in effort to not get so sexual around her lol

You need to stop playing games and deal with this shit already. If you think for one second using reverse psychology or telling her you are not sexually attracted to her is going to work, you are fucked.

Also, she doesn't "owe you" sex. Nobody owes anyone sex. If you are using sex in exchange for buying her shit, she is a prostitute.

Also, maybe you are way too pussy whipped and acting too desperate. It is a HUGE turn off to have a guy dripping all over you, buying you shit, driving you places, picking you up all the time, and being at your beck and call.

Act like a confident MAN and stop putting the pussy on the pedestal. Maybe you should work on yourself rather than blaming her for not fucking you.

OR,

You can move the fuck on.

[Gridlock]

Originally Posted by El Bastardo

having about a fight that all i want is sex lol

So the truth. You'll fight about the truth.

I don't know, I'm not a lady, but if a guy was doing everything in his day towards me solely to get me into bed, and I had half a brain, I might think its a turn off and not want to put out.

You stink of desperation.

[Puck Luck]

there has to be give and take in relationships. Compromising. If one person is doing all the giving (ie: you doing everthing for her) and you feel nothing is coming back your way (doesn't even have to mean sex, but it would help), resentment is sure to build. And sounds like it already has.

You're only 19. You have sooooo much time. Too many other fish inthe sea. Throw her back in the sea and find one better matched for you. (What i wouldn't do to be 19 again. don't tell my wife that!!) She needs to find herself a jesus loving dude for herself.
If you're still feelin bummed about her, go out and party, tap some other asses. You'll forget her about in no time