Relationship & Gender Discussion THIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE!
The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex... |
 | | 
06-06-2013, 06:23 PM
|
#1 | | Official Texas Ambassador
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 10,333
Thanked 5,671 Times in 1,324 Posts
| [Confidential] Cosigning a loan for a GF
The following is a post from an anonymous Revscene member. If the anonymous original poster would like to reply to the thread, please PM or email me your replies
Here is my situation. I had a long term relationship with my GF for over 9 years. She went to school in the States for the past 4 years to get a doctorate degree. Her family lets say isn't the brightest when it comes to investments and handling money. It's not that they are poor, it's just that they made many mistakes that would make you shake your head. Anyway, my plan was to eventually marry this girl and we both had our timelines in sync that after she graduated and came back we would marry.
I'm not the wealthiest individual myself, but my credit rating is excellent and I am financially stable. It came to a point that her student loans were being maxed out and she needed a co-signer for more loans to finish school. Her parents weren't getting approved because of their previous financial histories, she herself didn't have much of a credit rating herself to get approval. When her and her family approached me to co-sign her loan I obliged happily. When it came time to figure out the amount they were asking for me to sign for a ridiculous amount, let's say over 50% of what she actually needed to finish school. The sum that I signed for is still a hefty amount.
Lets fast forward now, even though she would come back and visit, and I would visit her, the long distance relationship was working. Or so I thought. I found out after she graduated that she ended up cheating on me with a classmate for a couple years. She strung me along all that time just for financial gain and to pay off her tuition. I initiated a clean breakup and I've been only emailing her asking her to get someone else to replace my name on the co-sign for the loan. She is now working full time for a year and has the means of even putting her name on it. I always got the bullshit response of "Oh we can't find anyone"
A year has passed, and now I can't even recall the last time I asked to get my name taken off. I want to clear myself from this situation so I can put everything behind me. I hear from friends of friends of bone head moves she's making with her and her families money. Some examples are, participating in pyramid schemes to get rich quick. It angers me that I find out she's throwing money away when she can pay off the loan.
I'm looking for advice here on what I can do, now that it's been a year is there any legal action I can take? I want to resolve this situation soon.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by MG1  She taught me right from wrong and always told me to stay positive and help others no matter how small the deed - that helping others gives us meaning to carry on. The sun is out today and it's a new day. Life is good. I just needed a slap in the face. | | 
|  | |
06-06-2013, 06:27 PM
|
#2 | | Rs has made me the man i am today!
Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 3,031
Thanked 2,148 Times in 262 Posts
|
wow dude..... what a bitch
| |
| | |
06-06-2013, 06:30 PM
|
#3 |
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 3,929
Thanked 3,772 Times in 1,001 Posts
|
you signed your life away.
GG HF
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by jasonturbo Too bad it isn't about flipping cars to lose money, I'm really good at that. | Quote:
Originally Posted by SkunkWorks This wouldn't happen if you didn't drive a peasant car like an Audi... | Quote:
[14-05, 14:59] FastAnna You tiny bra wearing, gigantic son of a bitch
[15-05, 10:35] FastAnna Yeah I was dreaming of those big titties in that tiny bra
| Quote:
Originally Posted by westopher I'd probably blow someone for that 911 | | |
| | |
06-06-2013, 06:36 PM
|
#4 | | MiX iT Up!
Join Date: May 2006 Location: vancouver
Posts: 8,133
Thanked 2,066 Times in 865 Posts
|
ouch.
get her to sign a paper that excludes you from any liability arising from non payment of the loan and send it to the bank. might work might not. worth a shot.
__________________
Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them.
Make the effort and take the risk..
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." - Eleanor Roosevelt | |
| | |
06-06-2013, 07:23 PM
|
#5 | | #savethemanuals
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Richmond
Posts: 3,980
Thanked 2,551 Times in 950 Posts
|
You cosigned the loan willingly, a court isn't going to cancel that for you because you have cosigner's regret.
I don't think the bank will just remove your name unless there is someone who can replace you or somehow your ex's credit rating has gone up.
The best thing to do is to get her to pay off the loan or get someone else to assume your liability or get her to refinance the loan.
| |
| | |
06-06-2013, 07:42 PM
|
#6 | | Banned By Establishment
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: bedroom
Posts: 3,112
Thanked 3,492 Times in 1,176 Posts
|
you can't do a god damn thing. trust me.
you are fucked until she pays. congrats on making a decision based on love.
this is coming from someone who FINALLY convinced their ex to pay off a joint bank account in overdraft.
never will i ever sign or co-sign anything until i am married and even then it needs to be something good....i suggest you start thinking the same way
Last edited by dinosaur; 06-06-2013 at 09:48 PM.
| |
| | |
06-06-2013, 08:20 PM
|
#7 | | I Will not Admit my Addiction to RS
Join Date: May 2011 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 552
Thanked 429 Times in 121 Posts
|
I don't get how u could co-sign with a gf. Would make sense if you were engaged or something but a gf... SMH. The courts won't protect you for being stupid.
| |
| | |
06-06-2013, 09:50 PM
|
#8 | | Banned By Establishment
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: bedroom
Posts: 3,112
Thanked 3,492 Times in 1,176 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by van_city23 I don't get how u could co-sign with a gf. Would make sense if you were engaged or something but a gf... SMH. The courts won't protect you for being stupid. | its hard to judge unless you have been there....9 years is a long time. mine was 9 years until he cheated out of nowhere. you don't expect shit to go down after that length of time.
also, bitches will be bitches.
| |
| | |
06-06-2013, 09:56 PM
|
#9 | | I keep RS good
Join Date: May 2001 Location: Cosmos
Posts: 28,661
Thanked 5,539 Times in 1,502 Posts
|
you got played.
advice: you better make sure your future wife signs a prenup.
| |
| | |
06-06-2013, 10:24 PM
|
#10 | | McFogg The Dawg is my homeboy
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 2,007
Thanked 1,130 Times in 286 Posts
|
No advice here but I think I just learnt a very important life lesson. Unfortunately at OP's expense.
GL
| |
| | |
06-07-2013, 12:29 AM
|
#11 | | I *Fwap* *Fwap* *Fwap* to RS
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 1,518
Thanked 1,536 Times in 427 Posts
|
not to school you on co-signing, but when you do it, its literally your debt. you should have asked yourself if you were/willing/can pay it off all on your own with or without your SO's help. i understand 9 years is a long time and you had trust, but its always safe to think a bit more selfishly. think of extreme ends.
the better question is, does she already have the full amount that you co-signed for? or is there some sort of cash flow left that you can stop and just use what you have left to pay off some of the debt back.
| |
| | |
06-07-2013, 07:23 AM
|
#12 | | Where's my RS Christmas Lobster?!
Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Richmond
Posts: 1,116
Thanked 903 Times in 285 Posts
|
what. the. fuck....
Seems like the worse situation ever, I dont know what I would do.
But thanks for the heads up for situations like this, never fucking co signing a large amount of money to any gf or wife NO MATTER WHAT!
| |
| | |
06-07-2013, 08:20 AM
|
#13 | | reads most threads with his pants around his ankles, especially in the Forced Induction forum.
Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 10,645
Thanked 2,191 Times in 1,131 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by dinosaur you can't do a god damn thing. trust me.
you are fucked until she pays. congrats on making a decision based on love.
this is coming from someone who FINALLY convinced their ex to pay off a joint bank account in overdraft.
never will i ever sign or co-sign anything until i am married and even then it needs to be something good....i suggest you start thinking the same way | +1 Never ever co-sign anything in your life unless is family (even then it depends on the relations).
I personally will never co-sign just for a gf, maybe my wife but then at that point the relation is establish.
O and you just sign your life away unless she starts paying or is willingly to pay, be prepare to clean up her mess.
| |
| | |
06-07-2013, 11:34 AM
|
#14 | | Willing to sell body for a few minutes on RS
Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Duncan, BC
Posts: 10,127
Thanked 5,568 Times in 2,107 Posts
|
Unfortunately, the OP is completely screwed as many have mentioned.
He should have seen the red flags from a mile away ...
- Long distance relationship
- GF piling up debt
- Family has poor financial history
- Asked by her AND HER FAMILY to co-sign the loan
- Loan was well in excess of what she needed
I know some kids are not like the rest of their family, but most are. If her family is chalk full of people who are stupid with money, the smart bet is to assume she's stupid with money, too.
| |
| | |
06-07-2013, 01:10 PM
|
#15 | | Who's naughty? I___i
Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: GVR
Posts: 805
Thanked 173 Times in 73 Posts
|
you are probably better off talking to a lawyer and see if there is anything that can be done since you have evidence (i hope) of her just recklessly spending her income when she could pay off the loan and explain the situation of how you were pressured into signing the contract and all that.
| |
| | |
06-07-2013, 01:27 PM
|
#16 | | Proud to be called a RS Regular!
Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 135
Thanked 81 Times in 27 Posts
|
In my eyes, co-signing is the legal word meaning "I will unconditionally clean up this person's mess," so unfortunately OP is most likely SOL. I personally try to never lend anything out I can't afford to/are unwilling to lose except to (most) family.
Posted via RS Mobile
Last edited by aznkev03; 06-07-2013 at 01:38 PM.
| |
| | |
06-07-2013, 01:27 PM
|
#17 | | RS has made me the bitter person i am today!
Join Date: May 2005 Location: 604
Posts: 4,501
Thanked 1,726 Times in 546 Posts
|
and you said she is a bone head?  | |
| | |
06-07-2013, 02:15 PM
|
#18 | | Banned By Establishment
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: bedroom
Posts: 3,112
Thanked 3,492 Times in 1,176 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by Szeto you are probably better off talking to a lawyer and see if there is anything that can be done since you have evidence (i hope) of her just recklessly spending her income when she could pay off the loan and explain the situation of how you were pressured into signing the contract and all that. | Are you srs? this is the worst advice I have ever seen....yeah OP, go waste your time and money seeking out a lawyer who will sit down and look at your case (p.s. you won't find one). Then, spend time collecting "evidence" that she is spending money.
Pressured?? What, was there a gun to the OP's head?? The only pressure he had was wanting to get laid that night, ffs.
This is retarded.
You can't do anything. Trust me. The banks don't care about the story...they car about the money. They don't care who it comes.
As I said before, take this as a life lesson. Cross your fingers she pays and move on.
| |
| | |
06-07-2013, 02:50 PM
|
#19 | | I subscribe to the Fight Club ONLY
Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: BC, HK, USA
Posts: 7,343
Thanked 2,345 Times in 973 Posts
|
the first sign is the family not supporting their own daughter. there has to be someone, some relative that is able to co-sign.... never a bf.
| |
| | |
06-07-2013, 02:52 PM
|
#20 | | I told him no, what y'all do?
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 9,844
Thanked 5,814 Times in 2,502 Posts
| Quote:
Originally Posted by dinosaur Are you srs? this is the worst advice I have ever seen.... | what about taking her to be on Judge Judy? 
__________________ Feedback
http://www.revscene.net/forums/showthread.php?t=611711 Quote: Greenstoner
1 rat shit ruins the whole congee
originalhypa
You cannot live the life of a whore and expect a monument to your chastity | Quote:
[22-12, 08:51]mellomandidnt think and went in straight..scrapped like a bitch
[17-09, 12:07]FastAnna glowjob
[17-09, 12:08]FastAnna I like dat
| | |
| | |
06-09-2013, 09:20 AM
|
#21 | | My homepage has been set to RS
Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Burnaby
Posts: 2,190
Thanked 2,752 Times in 700 Posts
|
OP, your situation is such a tragedy.
I really hope there is a silver lining for you.
| |
| | |
06-09-2013, 07:53 PM
|
#22 | | I WANT MY 10 YEARS BACK FROM RS.net!
Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 22,033
Thanked 9,822 Times in 3,903 Posts
|
sorry you're SOL
trust no one but yourself when it comes to big financial decisions unless it's your immediate family
a good friend/gf/bf in need of a couple of hundred dollars for emergency sure okay but I would never co-sign.
| |
| | |
06-16-2013, 09:30 PM
|
#23 | | Oh goodie, 5 posts already!
Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: NY
Posts: 6
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
|
I think she will not signed any paper for you that increase her liability because she is already in trouble but you can consult with a solicitor that will give you a good advice that what to do in this situation to get rid from that case according to your state laws.
Last edited by Morkal; 07-22-2014 at 02:02 AM.
| |
| | |
06-17-2013, 08:58 PM
|
#24 | | Ready to be Man handled by RS!
Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: vancouver
Posts: 97
Thanked 191 Times in 55 Posts
| | |
| | |
06-17-2013, 09:48 PM
|
#25 | | My name is PJ and I like dogs.
Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Vancity/Toronto
Posts: 3,180
Thanked 1,683 Times in 532 Posts
|
Holy. Shit.
Came in here thinking OP was THINKING of co-signing. This just... wow.
I don't even... know what to say.
That is one messed up situation.
Based on the information given.. I think I'd go to her family and explain to them what's happening. It's a bit of a dick move on the surface, but if I put my neck on the line for a girl, and she cheats on me and lives lavishly like a moron when she should be paying off a debt, then she doesn't deserve any respect or sympathy.
But legally... You're outta luck, brother. Very, very, unfortunate situation. God damn, just reading that got me stressed.
__________________ Studies show 100% of people die.. Might as well have some fun.
Hello my name is PJ. Buy/Sell Feedback 1-0-0 | |
| | | |
Posting Rules
| You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
| | |
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 07:28 AM.
|
You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!
The banners on the left side and below do not show for registered users!
![[Confidential] Cosigning a loan for a GF](https://www.revscene.net/forums/iconimages/relationship-gender-discussion-17/%5Bconfidential%5D-cosigning-loan-gf_ltr.gif)
