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Vancouver Off-Topic / Current EventsThe off-topic forum for Vancouver, funnies, non-auto centered discussions, WORK SAFE. While the rules are more relaxed here, there are still rules. Please refer to sticky thread in this forum.
I worked at cypress mountain during the winters when I was in Highschool.
I went up early one day to get a couple runs in before my shift.
I see some douche nozzle guy cut like 20 people off in the lift line (when it wasn't even busy), I don't think much of it. Then at the top he like trips up some poor kid on skis (who must have been like 5 years old).
At this point I'm watching this kid just make a mockery and acting like a complete moron, he tries to ollie over one of the slow signs and ends up ripping the entire thing out of the snow, and it goes sliding down the hill, he almost hits some old person, and was absolutely tearing down collins where the slow section used to be.
Near the bottom of the hill I approached the guy, and showed him my pass and told him to take it easy on the slow sections, or just move to another run. He gave me some attitude and told me to fuck off.
Almost immediately after that display him and his little cronies ducked the lines into the midway terrain park where buddy bailed on a rail and proceeded to break his arm.
Still in utter disbelief I ride over, radio ski patrol, steady him up, and make sure everything is cool. And as ski patrol is getting ready to carry him out to where the ambulance is waiting he turns to me and apologizes.
Wayyyyyyyy back in the day when I worked at Earls, we would often get tough guys coming in on wing wednesday. They would pose a challenge to the kitchen staff that we couldn't make a buffalo sauce that was too hot for them.
Well....... that was a challenge that 16 year old hypa was made for. In a small sauce pan I would mix habanero peppers with buffalo sauce and kung pao spice letting it simmer while adding all sorts of various chilis and jalapenos. Once we were done, you needed to shield your eyes because the steam rising out of the sauce pan was like pepper spray. I would toss the wings in the sauce, plate it, and then we would watch as the fun went down.
It usually ended up with the tough guy ordering twice as much from the bar as he normally would in order to calm the fire. We would cheer for him while he gave the thumbs up, and all was good. But one time it went south......
I'll let Lloyd and Harry show you pretty much what went down on that fateful night.
Needless to say, even though tough-guy douche nozzle ordered them this hot, AND the wait staff warned him, he couldn't handle it. He complained to the management, and from that point on, we were no longer allowed to make our own death sauce.
This happened at a Ford dealership I was working at a while ago as a lot attendant.
The service advisors would sometimes ask us to "do a little extra" when cleaning a car that was in for it's first service. I was cleaning a F450 platinum in for it's first service when the owner comes and asks if I could clean the interior.
So I start vacuuming it and grab a cloth to wipe down the interior, the customer then asks me to use the wash mit instead, I tell him that could damage his new truck and that I don't want to be responsible for it. He asks if he can wipe it down himself, I let him do it and he took the wash mit and completely soaked the interior of his brand new truck, all over the navigation system, everything. Then takes the hose and sprays it all down and thanks me for letting him do that.
I told the advisor what happened and he was confused but the customer was happy so he kind of just shrugged it off. A few months later the same advisor tells me that the customer filled out the customer survey to Ford Canada as "Completely satisfied". I guess the customers always right
Wayyyyyyyy back in the day when I worked at Earls, we would often get tough guys coming in on wing wednesday. They would pose a challenge to the kitchen staff that we couldn't make a buffalo sauce that was too hot for them.
Well....... that was a challenge that 16 year old hypa was made for. In a small sauce pan I would mix habanero peppers with buffalo sauce and kung pao spice letting it simmer while adding all sorts of various chilis and jalapenos. Once we were done, you needed to shield your eyes because the steam rising out of the sauce pan was like pepper spray. I would toss the wings in the sauce, plate it, and then we would watch as the fun went down.
It usually ended up with the tough guy ordering twice as much from the bar as he normally would in order to calm the fire. We would cheer for him while he gave the thumbs up, and all was good. But one time it went south......
I'll let Lloyd and Harry show you pretty much what went down on that fateful night.
Needless to say, even though tough-guy douche nozzle ordered them this hot, AND the wait staff warned him, he couldn't handle it. He complained to the management, and from that point on, we were no longer allowed to make our own death sauce.
Dude I fucking love you and all the earls cooks from that generation. I was one of those guys that ordered them, and every time I ate them they were the best wings I'd ever had. Earls death wings were hot as fuck and so delicious. I hope the guy that ruined the tradition ends up in jail for his crimes against food.
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98 technoviolet M3/2/5
Quote:
Originally Posted by boostfever
Westopher is correct.
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Originally Posted by fsy82
seems like you got a dick up your ass well..get that checked
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Originally Posted by punkwax
Well.. I’d hate to be the first to say it, but Westopher is correct.
Used to work at a sporting good store DT. One day I was working cashier and a guy came in with full kappa suit, beater, multiple gold chains around his neck, wearing puma's and holding a huge pit bull on a leash.
The guy grabbed a few hundred dollars worth of stuff and brought it to the register:
me: Your total is $xxx.xx, how would you like to pay?
guy: cash
You would assume the guy would reach for his wallet or reach into one of his pockets.
Instead, he:
Pulled the waist band of his track pants forward with the hand that's holding the leash
Reached into his junk area with his other hand
Fished around
Pulled out a fat roll of hundreds
The guy then unrolled the roll, dropped a few bills on the counter and then repeated the above steps in reverse order.
Then there's me standing there looking at the bills, hesitant to pick them up. I looked at my manager who happened to be beside me at the time, he just smiled and gave me the gesture to pick the money up. I eventually picked up the bills, finished the transaction and ran to the back and scrubbed my hands to the length of 2 happy birthday song from beginning to end as recommended by the CDC.
what ever happened to that Los Bastardos dude on rev who used to work in a porn store
anyone remember those stories?
I have another good story about strange customers when I worked my first summer job in a Chinese supermarket back in the day. Yes, it does involve porn, in a really strange way.
A Chinese supermarket, on the top floor of this strip mall that is not the T&T supermarket, had a job opening for meat packing assistant. The market was located at the First Avenue Marketplace on 1st avenue and Nanaimo in east Van.
My job involved packing Chinese barbecue meat (barbecue pork, roast pork, barbecue duck, all the good stuff) after the butcher chopped up the meat for the customer's orders.
My first week at work was really strange. All the Chinese housewives kept giving me dirty looks, as I was packing their pork or chicken order with wrapping paper. Sometimes Chinese guys, young and old, would order meat, at least two or three times a week from the butchers at the supermarket. These guys would always be smiling, and laughing while they ordered their meat.
I could not figure out why until the head butcher explained to me what item was capturing all the customers' attention when they ordered their meat.
One of the butchers, a brave and horny guy, hung a racy calendar on one of the side walls that points to my left side.
When I saw that calendar, I was shocked. It was a Japanese XXX calendar with full frontal nudity of these babes in bed or taking a sponge bath or a hot shower.
Apparently, the store manager was okay with the nude calendar. Somehow, that calendar brought "extra business" for the supermarket because some customers, mostly men, would order their barbecue meat at the market just to get some eye candy from looking at that calendar.
Who knew that racy calendars could attract more business for Chinese super markets.
Good god, I could type for hours about the shit I deal with working in the restaurant industry... westopher is probably in the same boat.
I'm still a strong believer, in that I think everyone should have to work in customer service at least ONCE in their life. I think there would be far fewer cunts in society this way lol
i dont even know where to begin on this one though. 8 years of working in a "warehouse style" big box store...
- woman freaks out because she keeps asking me for sea salt and getting mad at me when i brought her to the salt.... turns out in her very strong accent she was saying soy sauce. how the fuck am i suppose to know.
- woman keeps asking for the dog food. and also freaked out when i took her to where we keep all our pet supplies. well, apparently again, in an accent, she was asking for tofu.
- customer was at the book table with his child (maube 1.5years old) in the buggie. parent walks away and is completely obvious to their child. i am working across the isle in the freezer area and can see this kid standing up and leaning over to the books. i started walking that way and a few feet away, BAM the kid starts falling out of the buggie. i do a superman leap and catch the kid mid-fall and save him. WELL, the dad walks over and starts screaming at me about why im touching his kid and almost punches me. thankfully a bunch of other members were around to witness this.
- multiple multiple fights in the parking lot... like, during december we call the cops about every second day. its hideous.
- some guy who kept breaking into our warehouses would hide in the steel until everyone went home for the night. break into the cellphone kiosk or whatever, trip a fire door and escape. well this one time i guess he couldn't hold it. nothing got stolen but our alarms went off. all we found was some guys shit-filled pants in the middle of the furniture isle.
- had a member complaining about how a set of tires he had were road hazard, and he needed to get them replaced with our tire centre warranty. the tire had a tiny chunk out of the sidewall but there was no structual damage to the tire, no threads showing and no curb rash. so we told him its not a road hazard. then he goes on about how he was at a bellingham store and they told him it was a road hazard and to come to richmond and get it dealt with. but he drove here on the bad tire??? the other warehouse is not allowed to let any road hazard tire leave on a car. it either needs to be on the spare wheel or on a tow truck. so he bitches and complains etc etc. i call a manager and HE JUST GIVES HIM THE ROAD HAZARD. but then it turns out he didn't even buy the tires from our warehouse. he got them in BELLINGHAM!!! so why the fuck did he come back here. and of course because its an audi quattro on pilot sport 2's (which arent made anymore) he pays a tiny bit of the damage tire, but then he gets THE OTHER 3 FOR FREE!!!
that last one pissed me off so fucking much. and all this stuff i typed was maybe 5% of the shit ive dealth with.
Good god, I could type for hours about the shit I deal with working in the restaurant industry... westopher is probably in the same boat.
I'm still a strong believer, in that I think everyone should have to work in customer service at least ONCE in their life. I think there would be far fewer cunts in society this way lol
Absolutely true. I had so many rude, condescending, jack ass, mother fucking retarded, donkey humping customers who treated you like shit simply because you were in customer service and it made them feel better about their sad, pathetic, miserable little lives.
It's no wonder I chose a profession that doesn't require dealing with the general public
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spoon.ek9
Absolutely true. I had so many rude, condescending, jack ass, mother fucking retarded, donkey humping customers who treated you like shit simply because you were in customer service and it made them feel better about their sad, pathetic, miserable little lives.
Yup. Having been in call centres, I think it's even worse over the phone. Being on the other side of the line seems to remove the last shreds of decency from some people.
This is one of my favorite Payphone calls from back in the day:
<incoming to 0>
Me: Hi, How can I help you?
Bob: Hi, I'd like to make a collect call. (I can hear in the background: "Fuck you Asshole!")
Me: Ok, to what number?
Bob: To...403... (Background: "Yeah You, Asshole. Fuck you!") Can you excuse me for a sec?
Me: Uhhh.. Sure...
*handset gets put down*
<faintly in the background> Bob: FU buddy. You want to go? Voice: FU! Asshole etc...
Next thing I hear is; *thwack* thwack* thwack* thwack* and then dead silence.
I bring up the details to see where the payphone is. Calgary somewhere.
<phone gets picked up and I hear heavy breathing>
Bob: *panting* Shit, I just knocked some guy the fuck out!
Bob clears his throat and says in a normal tone of voice like nothing happened: My name's Bob, I'd like to make a collect call to 4035551234. And then waits.
Me: Uh..... okay......
I put the call through, put the convo on "hold" and call Calgary 911. I fill in the 911 dispatcher what happened. She's was stunned as I was that he just carried on so normally. They rolled PD to the payphone location to check it out. I wonder sometimes if they found the knocked out guy or not.
Prank calls from kids was an every day occurrence. I've lost track of how many times I've been asked to look up, "Coholic, Al" or "Mike Hunt," etc.
They usually expected a female op though, it usually threw them off when it was a guy.
A common call would be male preteen/teen kids calling the operator and asking if the op wanted to have sex with them. Ugh. Female operators got harassed way more than the guys did. But it did lead to this call:
<call beeps in with giggly kids in the background>
Me: Hi How.....
Kid: Doyouwanttocomeoverandhavesex?!?
Me: <running the number and finding the name and address> Mmm, you
sound cute.
Kid: OMG ITS A GUY!!!!!
Me: <found address info> Sure, this is the Jones house on 12th Ave right?
Kid: Uh.... no! *whispers from his friends* OMG HE KNOWS THE ADDRESS
Me: Really? it's not the Jones at 1234 12th Ave? I'm off work in 30 mins. I can be there in an hour.
Kid: ....I'm sorry Operator. I was joking around.
Me: Uh huh.
Silly kids thought they could block their caller ID from the telephone company.
Silly kids thought they could block their caller ID from the telephone company.
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Originally Posted by Vansterdam
that sounds delicious
It's wing wednesday tomorrow night at the Baron in Port Kells.
I think I may get a plate of 10 death wings for old time sake.
Quote:
Originally Posted by westopher
Dude I fucking love you and all the earls cooks from that generation. I was one of those guys that ordered them, and every time I ate them they were the best wings I'd ever had. Earls death wings were hot as fuck and so delicious. I hope the guy that ruined the tradition ends up in jail for his crimes against food.
I have to say, we loved those kind of orders.
To get an opportunity to use our imagination was greeted with an enthusiasm mostly unseen in the average line cook. The death wings were my last order one night before my shift ended, and I got an invite to have beers with the table that we made the wings for.
Unfortunately I was only 17. Those guys were so cool too.
i sell wine in china, use to have a shop in a restaurant resort
guys orders 6 bottles of wine at $600 each (rmb), has great time in till he sees the bill & is outrageous
at this point he starts yell & saying how the quality of my wine is bad, then starts asking for refund which i told him he cant
now at this he yell "if u dont give me a refund for your garbage then im gonna ruin your name"
then i got mad & started yelling "fuck man how the fuck can i give u a refund when u fucking finished 6 bottles a wine with nothing left period, seriously i give the refund when u piss out those 6 bottles of wine "in red" thank u very much"
also a friend that works in a cell phone store in china, i was just sitting around BS-ing with him & then this guy walks in
guy: hi do u guys have screen protectors sale
friend: ya what u looking for
guy: goes also looking for iphone case as well & hoping u can bundle it together for discount
friend: umm ok i see what i can do
guy: im looking for iphone 7s case & screen protector
friend: ????????? excuse, u mean iphone 5s, 6 is not even out yet buddy
guy: *pulls out phone* no really see the phone says iphone 7s from apple with certificate
I went up to a cute chick and asked her if she'd let me take a photo of her for $30 she slapped me, she said to me that "I AIN'T A WHORE!"
But other than that I have seen every car on display in DTP just by cruising about in Richmond, thank you very much for collecting them together and get someone to sing a cover for "fuck you".
OH FUCK YOU OH OH OOOOH~
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neva
wtf man? what the hell kind of women do you go for? spca is for animals not dates...
I worked at grocery distributor during school and I still work there on weekends now. We have a "walk-in" sales session every morning from 8-12 for smalls sales that don't meet delivery minimum. We also deal with a few other fellow distributors.
Usually the "walk-in" sales paperwork are handled by a receptionist working full time, but I had been doing it because she was on holiday. A driver comes from another distributor to pick up some stuff, and he starts watching porn on his phone in front of me. He was so into it that he didn't even hear me yell at him to sign the bill.
about 12 years ago i worked for Lordco as a delivery driver in Langley, driving around the stupid geo metro's etc. obviously got looks in itself, and at the time i was the only guy driver among 10 chicks, which wasnt a bad thing
Anyways, coming out from where chapters is there i was stopped waiting to yield going north on 200th, right beside me theres a brand new escalade packed with EI guys, kinda typical gangster type guys at the time. They all looking at my and the passenger kinda gives a "what up" motion to me, then he says "lets see you light em up!"
meh, didnt care about the job, otherwise clean driving record, and these guys werent gonna report me, Had the little geo metro bouncing off the rev limiter and dropped the clutch spun the tires for about 5 feet then seemingly lost traction.. wtf.. slowly putt away.
All the guys in the escalade were howling and giving me thumbs up, and i swear one of the 3 guys in the back flashed a hand gun like it was fucking east LA. May have been fake or may have not been a gun at all but it sure looked like it at the time lol
roll up a few blocks and all i smell is fucking burnt popcorn.. hmm..
do a few more stops, head back, and on the way back i couldnt even get the fucking thing into any gear but first lol, clutch was fucking doneeeeeee
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Dank memes cant melt steel beams
about 12 years ago i worked for Lordco as a delivery driver in Langley, driving around the stupid geo metro's etc. obviously got looks in itself, and at the time i was the only guy driver among 10 chicks, which wasnt a bad thing
Anyways, coming out from where chapters is there i was stopped waiting to yield going north on 200th, right beside me theres a brand new escalade packed with EI guys, kinda typical gangster type guys at the time. They all looking at my and the passenger kinda gives a "what up" motion to me, then he says "lets see you light em up!"
meh, didnt care about the job, otherwise clean driving record, and these guys werent gonna report me, Had the little geo metro bouncing off the rev limiter and dropped the clutch spun the tires for about 5 feet then seemingly lost traction.. wtf.. slowly putt away.
All the guys in the escalade were howling and giving me thumbs up, and i swear one of the 3 guys in the back flashed a hand gun like it was fucking east LA. May have been fake or may have not been a gun at all but it sure looked like it at the time lol
roll up a few blocks and all i smell is fucking burnt popcorn.. hmm..
do a few more stops, head back, and on the way back i couldnt even get the fucking thing into any gear but first lol, clutch was fucking doneeeeeee
All I can say is thank you to you and the other drivers for destroying the metros and sprints. Now we gets accents to drive
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"Can you match my resolve? If so then you will succeed. I believe that the human spirit is indomitable. If you endeavour to achieve, it will happen given enough resolve." -- Monty Oum
I work as an insurance agent on the island and had a customer literally tip the other morning over a Vancouver toll bridge debt.
LSS: I advised him of the outstanding debt, he started getting very verbally upset and his body language was seemingly aggressive so he was asked to stop or security would be called because he was clearly emotionally unstable and it wasn't clear what he would do next. Security came, asked him to leave which resulted in him throwing a massive wad of cash on the ground along with himself and hysterically crying and then doing a total 180 and start running towards the street and threatening to kill himself. Then the police had to come and I have no idea what happened next because we were never told, (sorry!).
The guy clearly has some shit to sort out, but wow. Not what you expect for your first client on a Sunday.