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Old 09-20-2015, 01:23 PM   #1
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The Official Bad/Strange Customers Thread

I had a strange encounter at work yesterday that prompted me to make a thread on RS. I'm sure most of us who deal with customers have a strange story (or three) that we've always wanted to share with others. You don't have to put in where you work or even what city it's in. Just share your stories if you feel inclined.




As for mine...

I work for an office supply company. I normally travel the country and help manage renovations and store openings/closures, but during certain times of the year I am based out of a home location where I refer to myself as the General Store Bitch. I know the workings of the store in and out, so I just help out where ever is needed for the day. This particular day I was helping out on the sales floor, switching over end caps when a cute girl in her late 20's comes over to me.

Customer: "Excuse me, do you have any cocks?"

Me: *paused for a moment, thinking I misheard her* "Sorry, could you repeat that?"

Customer: "Cocks. I heard you have them here."

Me: *Thinking she was talking about caulk* "Sorry, I think I misheard you the first time. We normally don't carry caulk in store, but sometimes an online order gets returned and finds it way to the sales floor instead of being sent back to the vendor. Let's just check the fastener section to see if there happens to be anything like that there."

After taking her to the fastener section, the customer pipes up.

Customer: "That seems weird. Why would wall cocks be put in with the glue and bulldog clips?"

That's when I realized all the words that contain the letter "L" have been mispronounced and she has a speech impediment that prevents her from saying the word.

Me: "Oh! Wall clocks! They're right over here..."

I've had some strange customers, some good, some I just wanted to boot kick out of the store, but that was definitely one of the most awkward ones I've had in a while.

inb4 talk of giving her the D.
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Old 09-20-2015, 01:29 PM   #2
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Valeted an R8 for a guest and he called back the hotel complaining about the check engine light that just turned on and try to put the blame on us. He was given the number of the valet company and made threats to pursue further legal action when he finds prove we did something to his car
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Old 09-20-2015, 01:34 PM   #3
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Sometimes with things like that, i've known people who have just legitimately pronounced things wrong their entire lives. Not so much as you grow older and hopefully correct your mistakes lol, but for instance i had a friend in highschool, who until about 17 years old always thought to "grab" somthing, as in pick it up etc. was "grav" with a v

i guess just whenever he wrote it or spoke it, it sounded similar or was corrected where he thought it was still correct etc. lol
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Old 09-20-2015, 02:36 PM   #4
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While helping at parents shop, I had one customer that said cock instead of coke. He was a cbc so we both cracked up laughing and high fived each other.

One fob lady asked me if we sold dog meat. Wasnt sure if she was being serious or racist.

Not really "customer" but work related I guess : Few years back when I used to teach little kids, I wore these devil's horns Halloween prop (because it was Halloween duh). My kids started calling me "Horny teacher". Keep in mind they are like 3-5 years old and have no idea what horny really means.

They brought some weird items too like human key chain with chain hanging off the dick area of the doll. And another kid had pencil with gambling addiction helpline written on it.
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Old 09-20-2015, 02:37 PM   #5
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This is a strange customer that I used to see at a bank branch when I worked in the financial services industry. He was an senior who came to the branch on the same day each week to get access to his safety deposit box. His visits to the branch were a regular event over a five year period.

Then the customer did not come to the branch for over a month. One day the senior's son came to close his account as his father passed away. The son also wanted to claim all contents of the safety deposit box and close the account.

When the son went to a private area of the branch to open the box, he yelled "Oh my God! What the heck is this doing here???" The customer service manager and I rushed to the private area to ask if the son needed help.

He was in shocked at the contents of the box as he showed us what was in the box besides some personal valuables.

The senior kept all of his finger nail and toe nail clippings in that deposit box for five years!

He rented a very large box too.

The first thought that came to my head was "Wow, that is fucked up!"

That's what this senior was doing every week with his safety deposit box for the past five years. He was cutting his finger and toe nails inside the bank and putting the clippings into that box.
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Old 09-20-2015, 02:44 PM   #6
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^That's a pretty epic prank to pull on your kids
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Old 09-20-2015, 02:48 PM   #7
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^That's a pretty epic prank to pull on your kids
Hmmm, I gotta think of a prank to pull on my kids as part of my bucket list one day.
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Old 09-20-2015, 04:08 PM   #8
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Worked in retail from high school until I was 28. Too many fucked up stories to tell.

One of the crazier ones was when I was working at Staples one lazy summer evening. There weren't any customers in the store and it was on a Friday, so a bunch of us were chatting about our weekend plans at the front.

Up drives this old man in a 1970s Lincoln boat and he parks crooked in the handicapped spot in front. He had no handicap tag in front. He opens the door and trips as he gets out. I hustle out to help him get up.

When I got to his car to help him, there was a very strong smell of alcohol and vomit. I nearly threw up, but managed to keep my shit together.

I brought him inside and sat him down on one of our office chairs and called my manager, who was on her lunch break at the time, to ask her what I should do. She said to keep an eye on him, don't call the cops.

When I turned around, Buddy was passed out in the chair. Okay, at least he's not hurting anyone.

About an hour later, he wakes up. I walk over to him and ask him how he's feeling. He responds, "You got any smokes?"

Me - "No sir, we sell electronics and office supplies."
Him (heavily slurred) - "Well aren't you bloody useless!"

He starts to walk towards the door, I ask him where he's going and he says he's going to get some smokes. I tell him he can't drive in his condition and he says, "like hell I can't."

At this point, I tell him I can call him a cab, but if he gets into his car, I'll have to call the police. He tells me, "I've been drinking drive since before you were born in diapers."

He gets in his car, I call the cops. He drives next door to Shoppers Drug Mart, presumably to get some smokes.

Police arrive at our store just as he's leaving the parking lot. I point him out to the officer and the officer jumps back into his car.

The drunken old man turns left and heads the wrong way down a road with a center barrier, cop turns on the lights and siren and chases after him.

I didn't read anything in the newspaper, so I'm guessing no one got hurt, but it certainly could have ended poorly.
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Old 09-20-2015, 04:16 PM   #9
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In my place of work I have seen 3 different Asian toddlers piss in the middle of the isles.

I have also seen one grown Asian woman take a piss in a plastic bag in the laundry detergent isle.

And as an escalation, a few employees witnesses another Asian woman take a shit on a flatbed in the parking lot that had a piece of cardboard on it. Then obviously just get in her car and leave.

Oh the joys of being close to YVR and getting many international customers...
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Old 09-20-2015, 04:37 PM   #10
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Had a old lady try to get gas 3 different times. 3 time she hit a post with her car. She was never able to get gas.
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Old 09-20-2015, 04:58 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 320icar View Post
In my place of work I have seen 3 different Asian toddlers piss in the middle of the isles.

I have also seen one grown Asian woman take a piss in a plastic bag in the laundry detergent isle.

And as an escalation, a few employees witnesses another Asian woman take a shit on a flatbed in the parking lot that had a piece of cardboard on it. Then obviously just get in her car and leave.

Oh the joys of being close to YVR and getting many international customers...
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Old 09-20-2015, 05:25 PM   #12
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Working at a cafe, we had this old lady customer who complained about everything. Latte not hot enough, the latte art didn't show in her take out cup after drinking a few sips from the lid. Pastries that were delivered an hour prior wasn't fresh enough for her. Our display of the sandwiches wasn't to her liking.

Probably owned a nearby cafe
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Old 09-20-2015, 05:27 PM   #13
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IN on potentially epic thread
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Old 09-20-2015, 06:51 PM   #14
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Few years ago customer and his family come in to purchase an r8. Kid is 16. Mom comes in and yells in Chinese "why the hell do you want this cheap car" i will buy you lamborghini instead". They picked up the 6 speed r8 later that evening. Kid has no license so mom has to drive it home for him. She stalled 10 times leaving the dealership. When she got on the road all you could smell was clutch while she jerked all the way down the street. I cringed so hard.

Probably drove to the lambo dealership right after to have both cars.
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Old 09-20-2015, 07:26 PM   #15
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I have a ton of stories to share, most notably from working at McDonald's and Value Village. Some of you old school RS chat fiends might remember my poop stories..

I'll give you a short story:

Working the cash at McDonald's and a white lady walks up to my till

Her: Hi, I'd like a cheeseburger with no cheese.
Me: So, you mean a hamburger?
Her: *look of disdain* No, I said a CHEESEBURGER with NO CHEESE.
Me: Uhh oooookay then.

As I punched this in, my buddy working in the kitchen sees it and asks in all seriousness "Is this a joke?" and I explained that this is exactly what the customer wants...

So in the end, this weirdo paid for non-existent cheese when she could have just had a freaking hamburger. I also didn't much appreciate the attitude she gave me
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Old 09-20-2015, 10:35 PM   #16
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I worked at a hospital in Victoria a few years back doing some repair work on their HVAC system. Basically, I had to access the attic in each room to recalibrate the air dampers.

Fucked up shit happened this one time. Because the access point to the attic in one of the room was located right above the toilet in the bathroom, I proceeded to place my ladder over the toilet and went up the attic for the repairs.

While I was working up there, the patient walked in the bathroom and had to use the toilet but couldn't because my ladder was placed over it. Anyways, I continued working quickly to get the job done fast (thinking she would look for another bathroom to use) but the next thing I know, a strong stench of shit odor filled up the whole attic. I looked down and there she was, with her pants down, taking a shit on the floor like nobody's business.

Fuck, I was trapped in the attic. I thought about coming down but that would be really awkward as she was still shitting and she doesn't know I was watching her from above lol.
Oh god, that rancid smell almost made me puke. I still remember that smell till this day.
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Old 09-20-2015, 10:46 PM   #17
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I used to work at the staples on 3 road, i worked in the copy centre, there was this old guy who came in almost everyday and he would always use the self serve area.

One time i was closing up and he was the last person to leave and when i was checking to see if anyone left anything behind, the old guy had left cutouts of those lingerie ads. Turns out he was enlarging them for his own personal reasons.

The worst part...he scribbled out the eyes of all the originals before making copies.
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Old 09-20-2015, 11:26 PM   #18
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Kind of weird I guess, but when I worked at the theatre downtown there would always be this 70 year oldish guy who would come in around 10pm about 2-3times a week to watch a movie and he would pay cash...from a stack of hundreds. Like I mean this stack was HUGE. I'm willing to bet he had around 10 grand with him and he would just grab a hundred dollar bill each time he paid. He wasnt shady or anything either...Just real strange to be carrying that much at night...in downtown
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Old 09-20-2015, 11:35 PM   #19
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Similar to OP's mispronunciation incident.
I work in a supermarket, a Chinese customer once came in and asked:
She: Do you have black paper?
Me (thought I heard her wrong): Pardon me?
She: Black paper.
Me: I'm sorry, we don't carry any paper here.
She raised her eyebrows then takes her phone out to show me a picture.
Me: Oh! it's pronounced black "pepper".

Another story, accusing us of selling expired product:
She: This yogurt is expired!
Me (looking at the date on the product): No it's not.
She: It says MA 20! It's April now!
Me: FYI MA is May and MR is March.
She puts the yogurt down and just walks away w/o even apologizing.


Quote:
Originally Posted by spoon.ek9 View Post
I'll give you a short story:

Working the cash at McDonald's and a white lady walks up to my till

Her: Hi, I'd like a cheeseburger with no cheese.
Me: So, you mean a hamburger?
Her: *look of disdain* No, I said a CHEESEBURGER with NO CHEESE.
Me: Uhh oooookay then.
Maybe she thought hamburger meant a burger with ham?
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Old 09-21-2015, 12:12 AM   #20
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I'm a chef and my wife is a nurse. If you can imagine something stupid, we have probably dealt with it.
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seems like you got a dick up your ass well..get that checked
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Old 09-21-2015, 12:29 AM   #21
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From when I worked at a medium sized supermarket years ago:
Cashier: Price Check Lane 4!
Me: Hey, what do you need?
Cashier holds up a carton of Tropicana OJ: Scans at $3.59, she says it's the wrong price.
Customer: THE PRICE IS WRONG! THE SIGN SAYS $1.89!
Me: Ok, I'll check...(I come back trying not to smirk)
Me: Yup, scan's right. $3.59.
Customer: NO! IT'S $1.89 ON THE SIGN!
Me: It's $3.59. The carton is 1.89l.
Customer pays for her order and stomps off without another word. Thing was, the sign had $3.59 in inch and a half high letters, and 1.89l was written in the corner, less than a centimetre tall.

This happened at least 2-3 times a week, keep in mind the ceiling was 2 stories up and you could see across the entire store, nothing was obstructed:
Customer: Excuse me, I can't find the tofu. Where do keep it?
Me: It's right over there under the 'TOFU' sign. (I always said it straight, never made fun of the customer about it.)
The tofu sign was 4'x3', green with 'TOFU' written in white in 2.5' tall letters. You couldn't miss it.

I worked as a telephone operator for a while too, 0/411, not sex lines, and you dealt with the weirdest people on the phones. If you can think of it, it's probably been asked of an operator. I have tons of stories from that job.
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Old 09-21-2015, 12:30 AM   #22
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Customers wanting a well done steak.
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Old 09-21-2015, 08:15 AM   #23
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Worked in a grocery store and you always had to face your section,(ie move all the products to the front of the shelf so everything lines up).

This lady used to come in and I guess she had some serious OCD with cheese and yogurt only and she would spend hours and hours rearranging the cheese and yogurt till everything was nice and neat. She'd make sure every product was in it's right spot. If you got assigned to the dairy section and saw her come in, you knew you had an easy day
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Old 09-21-2015, 08:41 AM   #24
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Some good reads here for stories about the restaurant industry.

behind closed ovens - kitchenette
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Old 09-21-2015, 10:41 AM   #25
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nothing special but another bad language story.

-coworker is spanish and was bent over organizing donuts
-old guy comes in to the counter with her back to him bent over
-he goes and says "culo...honey culo..." (culo being slang for ass)
-she immediately turns around and is like
-he looks her straight in the face and says it again
-she realizes he was asking for a honey cruller donut
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