Hesitating, not taking the intiative and being the P-word!

[unidentified]

Like some of the girls here said, are you sure you're BOTH ready? Since the farthest you've gone with this girl is kissing, I would suggest that you see how she reacts to foreplay before jumping into sex. I think you'll stress a little less over actually having sex once you've gone through all the stages before it.

[BoneThug]

if you have not at least stuck your hands into her vagina and had her lick your fingers, you will not hit it. there. now you know.

[penner2k]

Originally Posted by vmec

You need to worry less about making it mind blowing and more about making it special.

no.. he needs to worry less about making it mind blowing and just make it happen..

the easiest way to make it happen is to just watch a movie.. have her lying between your legs.. while you are watching the movie start rubbing her stomach a bit.. if she seems to like that slowly make your way down with your hand.. as long as she doesnt stop you just keep moving down.. at this point I'd start to kiss her neck a bit.. graze the snatch and see if its wet.. if it is slowly work a finger in.. if she still doesnt stop you then move your hand back up.. move both hands to the top of her pants and just pull them down..
just keep progressing and eventually you are both naked and then just put a condom on and stick it in..

[stewie]

Originally Posted by Los Bastardo

Making your $80 go a long ways, eh?

hahaha nah :P never paid for sex yet...lol

was at a party, some random girl threw a pair of "sex dice" at me, so i whipped em back at her, and apparently once i threw them..the game started hahaha.

[rslater]

This is ridiculous. You have to have seen her vagina at least once before you have sex for the first time. You have to at least see her breasts without a piece of cotton over them. You probably have to have her feel your penis a couple times. Having sex, without any sort of sexual experience even in relations to first second and third base is setting you up to have an erect penis pocking around her vagina for like 3 minutes without landing into any sort of usable territory.

Your rushing into sex, without even understanding the female anatomy from a sexual point of view.

[Grandmaster TSE]

both of you guys need to get naked, and examine each other, see what is what

or go read an anatomy book

[yuusha]

Your fingers and mouth are your two best assets (aside from your penis). Don't be afraid to touch, lick, nibble, squeeze, etc.

Hell, even just breathing on the nape of her neck can be hot.

[underscore]

Originally Posted by bradfordchow

Gfd and I have been affectionate but only to the point of kissing, hugging and snuggling.

and you're trying to have sex with her? jesus man.... one step at a time here. progression is key.

you sound fairly young so here's what you do. start off like you normally do, snuggling and making out. slowly progress the hands down to her ass. squeeze her ass a little bit then move one hand back around to the outside of her shirt. fondle her boobs for a bit then slide you hand back down to her ass. now move your other hand slowly up her back and run your hand back on forth along the back of her bra strap. eventually unhook it but keep sliding your hand over her back a bit. then move your hand around to the front and start playing with her boobs, squeeze them a bit, rub her npples etc. if she's liking this take your shirt off, or just lift your arms a bit and she might take it off for you. hers will (typically) soon follow. kiss down her neck and start kissing and sucking on her boobs for a little bit, one hand playing with the one your mouth isnt on, and the other hand on her ass, under her pants. slowly move the ass hand under her underwear, and progressively slide it around to the front, work some finger magic and once you've done that for a little bit take her pants off for better access. after a while kiss down her body and incorporate some tongue lovin' too. do that for a bit then move back up to kissing her and start grinding the goods together (usually easier if you're on top, also put a rubber on first, practice putting them on a few times beforehand so you can do it easily). eventually progress to penetration, if she's a virgin it's usually easier if she's on top as she can control how quickly it goes in so it doesn't hurt her, don't force it. some water based lube might make it easier for her as well (oil based kills condoms). eventually maybe flip around to you being on top or whatever, don't try to get too freaky on your first time tho.

now of course don't try to do this all in one night if you've only kissed and snuggled before, take things slow and if she pushes your hand away or stops you at any point don't force her, back off and wait a while then consider trying the next move again if you're getting good vibes. if she stops you from doing the same thing twice don't push it, stop where you're at and stay there for a while.

as far as deciding to have sex always make the decision BEFORE you're lying on top of each other naked grinding into each other, if you can't have a mature discussion with her beforehand about whether or not the two of you are ready for sex then you most definately aren't.

[poweredbyph]

Originally Posted by rslater

This is ridiculous. You have to have seen her vagina at least once before you have sex for the first time. You have to at least see her breasts without a piece of cotton over them. You probably have to have her feel your penis a couple times. Having sex, without any sort of sexual experience even in relations to first second and third base is setting you up to have an erect penis pocking around her vagina for like 3 minutes without landing into any sort of usable territory.

Your rushing into sex, without even understanding the female anatomy from a sexual point of view.

He is right. How long have you guys been going out for and is she comfortable going to the next level? Try to touch her first and see her reaction.... Go forward from there..

oh btw, had she done these type of things before?

[sexyflanders]

have you talked to her about having sex?

[Marco911]

Sounds like we're dealing with 2 virgins here...she won't know what's good and what's bad, so it doesn't matter how you do it. The key is just to make sure she's ready and wants it. How you perform is irrelevant.

[BoneThug]

she'll know whats bad when it isnt good? my first time was with another virgin and neither of us had to talk about how it sucked. we both knew. my rhythm was horrible and everything hurt her.

[Boostaholic]

make out with her, have some drinks like coolers or vodka mixed with lime (that shit gets the job done) and drink some alcohol and pass it down to her while making it out from your mouth to her mouth(trust me this one works like a charm). make her drink enough until you think shes starting to get tipsy. then work your way to undress her and start rubbing her clit first, don't stick it in! remember if shes a virgin, DO NOT STICK IT IN HER!

rub her clit till she start moaning, then lightly stick 1 finger in her pussy and see if she gets hurt. chances are she will get hurt. tell her to relax and don't tense up because that'll hurt more. and while doing so keep on rubbing her clit. do it in a circular motion and in one direction. then try to stick ur finger in again.

you won't beable to have sex with her until shes fine with you finger in her, because it'll hurt them too much if you try to stick ur dick in her to begin with. you have to "losen" her up a bit (unless ur finger is fatter than your dick). you can pretty much do this in one night. make sure you keep her turned on by rubbing her clit constantly. it's very easy to turn on a girl and it's even easier to turn them off, so becareful and experiment with what she likes.

[Euro7r]

Watch some porno together or something. It'll give you some ideas and get you both excited haha.

[LC21]

Did you get the tropical flavored condoms?

[miss_crayon]

Originally Posted by Boostaholic

make out with her, have some drinks like coolers or vodka mixed with lime (that shit gets the job done) and drink some alcohol and pass it down to her while making it out from your mouth to her mouth(trust me this one works like a charm). make her drink enough until you think shes starting to get tipsy. then work your way to undress her and start rubbing her clit first, don't stick it in! remember if shes a virgin, DO NOT STICK IT IN HER!

....maybe it's just me, or am i the only one who thinks it's kinda sick that someone would need to get a girl tipsy to get into her pants?

[BoneThug]

Originally Posted by miss_crayon

....maybe it's just me, or am i the only one who thinks it's kinda sick that someone would need to get a girl tipsy to get into her pants?

i wasnt going to say anything. but its the kind of thing that will make a girl wake up the next day and go wow, my boyfriend is kind of a creep. and if she doesnt think it, her friends will. so will her mom/sister or whomever she confides everything in.

[underscore]

^ agreed, that's a horrible idea unless you don't mind being a bit of a dick and you're leaving town or something haha

[Inaii]

Wow... if you need to get your gf drunk to have sex with her, you have issues bud. Or any girl for that matter. I'd say that's damn near rape, but regardless, that type of answer on here doesn't surprise me anymore.

Just talk to her about it, see if she's even comfortable with the idea of sex first before you try anything.

[The_AK]

Originally Posted by miss_crayon

....maybe it's just me, or am i the only one who thinks it's kinda sick that someone would need to get a girl tipsy to get into her pants?

Although I disagree with getting a girl drunk to get in her pants I think he just means that both people drink together to loosen up a bit and feel more comfortable going at it.
However, alcohol hinders a man's sexual performance so I would be against this.

The worst thing ever would be that the couple is ready to get nasty but the guy have technical difficulties... with his cock.

[bradfordchow]

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind for me. I got another pt.job at a produce store stocking shelves just so I could scrounge enough money for my girl. I hope this doesn't come off as sounding braggish but I managed to save enough for us to take a trip to Whistler to go skiing. I also bought her a Tiffany's bracelet which I must thank one of the wonderful RS'ers for suggesting. You know who you are :thumbs up:

Anyways, sorry I was unable to reply promptly. I'm just hella busy and enjoying the last fleeting days of 2008.. oh ya and Xmas BOOYA!!!
I made a sincere effort to reply to everyone worth replying and if I missed you I sincerely apologize. It took me quite a while to reply to everyone and my fingers are totally like numb.

Inaii: What do you mean started anything? she's not the type to be overly flirtatious and forward. When we're fooling around and stuff I take the lead and she hasn't been uncomfortable yet.

vmec: great point but when you've been masterbating for years (like I have)without engaging in sexual intercourse it's a whole different ballpark. lest we forget this isn't apples and oranges. There's a huge difference when you're with someone and being intimate with them. And trust me, there's no one more special than my gfd

miss_crayon: Technically it is. Is rubbing one out even considered sex? I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that I am so ready for sex. That could be because I'm just horny as the next guy. But, I'm one of those dudes that won't demand it because I have morals and 100% respect my gfd. Sure I might be dissapointed but if we're mean't to be, surely we're bound to end up under the sheets, right?
I just hear these horror stories of guys having dreadful first time stories and not being able to do it (pun not intended). I don't want to delve into my personal life too deeply but I'm not the natural kind of guy. Maybe I should get some tips from Randy Couture?

Good_Karma: Seriously dude, thats my single worst nightmare. I'm shooting for 10 minutes and I am open to the idea of using Viagra or ordering eXstenze.

6793026: I like the cave man technique. I'm just worried I might encounter a bit of LMR from her. Could you elaborate on the condom stage? How do I pull the condom out without it screwing up our heated "in the moment" seduction phase.

6chr0nic4: Were you drinking? I know after I drink and try to masterbate, I can't seem to bust it. Haha probably because I was listening to too much plies.

SimplyComplex: Hahaa Vickie, you're busting on my balls
Would you rather I have been browsing porn? j/k
I haven't formally asked her if she wants to have sex with me. Call it a man's intuition or whatever.. I just get this sweet vibe when we're together like doing random crap or whatnot that we're ready to take that next step. Again, she has no problem with being affectionate with me nor I with her. Take that for what its worth.

oniyou: Now that I look back at it, getting the gfd wasn't the hard part.. Keeping her, maintaing a relationship and getting to that stage when you can sleep with each other is the hardest aspects in it all. Fortunately, I'm not in this alone and everyone is providing their wealth of knowledge which is simply phenominal. +1 thank you!!

Hollshiit: Explain.. I'm not rich and its not like my gfd expects I buy her expensive jewelry.

The_AK: Ok, good advice bro!! I need to somehow transition into moving down towards the southern hemisphere. It's not like I can autmatically dive right down to her goodies without it being like "No he didn't do just that". I'm not worried about not being able to pleasure her with my fingers. More emphasis should be placed on the pace of things. This is love not how fast I can pull of a quicky.

Gt-R R34: Gotcha *wink* Would it be weird to reserve a really nice nice room at like the Westin Hotel to spend our night together? Would that be too cheesy? I was watching the 2 Corey's TV show and Feldman pulled out all the stops when it was Valentiines Day. Rose Pedals, Serenading, Gifts. Suffice to say he got laid

Dinan3: Don't want to get into a war of words with you but don't you think that your comment was somewhat smug? How do you even know I'll get to have sex again that night? Is it a foregone conclusion? Plus, everythings always better the first time around.

Nintensity: There's no doubt you get more poon than me but isn't it risky to pull out the comedy routine when I should be setting the mood to a more romantic and serious tone? I don't see how being funny is the right gear to be in before doing arguably the greatest thing known to man. I understand the comfort part but needless to say we're already comfortable with each other. This issue will either make me or break me and my confidence is at an all time high. My pubes never looked better bro

unidentified: I can never be for certain if my gfd and I are ready. If I had to make an educated guess it would probably be a resounding yes. Now the reason I'm getting all worked up over this issue is because this isn't something you can take lightly. Even more so for someone like myself who at a stage in his life questioned if he'd ever have sex. I once feared sex like the bubonic plague. Sorry if I'm being redundant.

penner2k: Beautiful!! Compliance test at its finest. I have absolutely no qualms with the stomache area but its the nether region that has me flabbergasted at times. If I do run into a bit of resistance should I go with the whole 1 step forward 2 steps back routine? I could always pull out a couple faze outs from the hat of tricks. Obviously I'd have make sure to get her naked before the movie ends. This is like a sneaky way of going for the home run. I'm just having a little bit of trouble grasping this concept as forward as it is.

rslater: whoa cowboy.. easy up on the reigns my man. Are you insinuating that I should have seen my gfd breasts or played with her vagine before I can have sexual intercourse with her? Is this some sort of rule I must abide by? I'd love nothing more than to go over to my gfd house and have a field day with her boobs and coochie but thats not practical or even sensible. I am not an expert of the female anatomy but is that a reason why I should not strive to understand it by getting first hand experience so I can get a feel for it?
Moving on, you could very well be right. I may yet still be a Padwan but I'll be damned if I don't yearn to learn to become a full fledged Jedi Master.

Grandmaster TSE: MY gfd is not a guy. Point taken.

min.tee: well I gave her a light hickey so when I was kissing that area there were a lot of sensitive places i discovered. Its not so much being afraid as it is being somewhat apprehensive. I've been living in a stale environment so this is all still relatively new to me. I know i'll make mistakes along the way but I just want to prevent as many as possible.

underscore: a very detailed opinion and some excellent pointers to boot. How far should I go without having sex with her? Maybe I should make it a goal to reach a certain point and then progress further on another day? I've got all this planned out in my head but when it comes to action its entirely up to me. I might just go in missionary and see how things pan out from there. I'm all prepared bro, bought condoms, lube, sex toys, candles, insensce.
My gfd and I are very open with each other. We don't get into too much discussion about sex but it has come up a few times.

poweredbyph: I always touch her whether its just hugging her or teasing her so there's no problem with the physical side of things. She's pretty much your prototypical good girl.

sexyflanders: we've ventured in the sex discussion a few times. Not overtly but it's been brought up.

Marco911: Thats why I want to make it special and not funk things up. I know enough that sex can make or break relationships. It may be a three letter word but it's one hell of word packed in that one syllable.


Bonethug: Can you explain more about your rhythm? Do you mean like your speed? Sex isn't a race, its more like a marathon. Personally, i'm not going into the bedroom like a jack rabbit seeing how fast I can get off.

Boostaholic: As much as I value your opinion I just can't see myself using alcohol as a way to loosen our inhibitions in order to do the deed. I know about the clit technique and I always see it in porn movies.

dvxo: Brother, that would be a fantastic idea but its just not something I'd do with the gfd. My gfd is anything but the freaky type. Even I'm trying to cut down my porn watching.

LC21: I actually bought a couple different brands. I bought 1 flavored and the rest normal.

Big ups to everyone who took the time to offer their opinions. I also want to wish you and yours a very merry xmas and happy new year.

Cheers

[BoneThug]

what i meant by rhythm isnt really speed but its kinda that too. think of your thrusts as kind constant pattern. kinda like 123 123 123 123 when your going in and out. or 1 hard 2 1 hard 2 1 hard 2 or something like that. speed factors in, so does power so does not doing something so crazy that she cant match you with her hips and ish. its hard to explain i guess. but there is an expression that says sex is kinda like dancing, in you have to keep yourself in synch with your partner. thats what i meant by rhythm.

[Inaii]

Why is having sex with her such a big deal? In my personal experience, relationships that focused on sex lasted approx 50% less than ones where I took things slow. I realize that you're male and you've never had sex before, but I really think you need to slow down and build a solid relationship with her first. You've only been dating her for what, 2 months max?

[Noir]

Originally Posted by Inaii

Why is having sex with her such a big deal?

He's 21 and still unadulterated. Any further and he'll be a Solomon Brother.

[BoneThug]

my buddy is 22 and still a virgin. we lose respect for him a little bit every day. which sucks cause he's one of the coolest guys i know.

but every day its gonan get harder adn harder for him