Hesitating, not taking the intiative and being the P-word!

[Noir]

Originally Posted by BoneThug

we lose respect for him a little bit every day.

Werd, lol. A man's credibility can sometimes be measured by his sexual achievements. You can't take a guy who's never/barely gets laid seriously when it comes to adult situations. His opinions are pretty much moot.

[Gt-R R34]

RS Chip in for Escort for Christmas Fund?

[miss_crayon]

Originally Posted by bradfordchow

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind for me. I got another pt.job at a produce store stocking shelves just so I could scrounge enough money for my girl. I hope this doesn't come off as sounding braggish but I managed to save enough for us to take a trip to Whistler to go skiing. I also bought her a Tiffany's bracelet which I must thank one of the wonderful RS'ers for suggesting. You know who you are :thumbs up:


miss_crayon: Technically it is. Is rubbing one out even considered sex? I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that I am so ready for sex. That could be because I'm just horny as the next guy. But, I'm one of those dudes that won't demand it because I have morals and 100% respect my gfd. Sure I might be dissapointed but if we're mean't to be, surely we're bound to end up under the sheets, right?
I just hear these horror stories of guys having dreadful first time stories and not being able to do it (pun not intended). I don't want to delve into my personal life too deeply but I'm not the natural kind of guy. Maybe I should get some tips from Randy Couture?

that's really nice of you to take up another job to get yourself and your gf a trip to whistler and the bracelet..but i think i would feel a lot of pressure if my boyfriend gave me all these things when the relationship is still fairly new. i can't speak for her of course..but that's just me. and if you start off the gift giving so expensive, i can only imagine what you're gonna get for your one year. ease up on the lavish gifts so early in the game.

also, just because you seem ready..doesn't mean your gf is. have you talked to her about it? i don't see anything wrong or embarrassing when it comes to talking to your SO about sex. it's the most intimate thing you're ever going to do with another person.

and no, rubbing one out does not equal sex. and seriously, stop worrying about the act itself and how you might not be able to cum. cause you will. stop setting yourself up for failure when nothing even happened yet. you might blow her away in every way possible. who knows. stop thinking!

sex is amazing. it's even better when you do it with the right person. so don't rush it.

[BoneThug]

fyi, it sucks and is really unsatisfying if its a really wrong person. if you suck not only may she never put out again, but she may be turned off of sex for years to come. just thought id be a nice guy and throw that otu there. kthxsbye

[The_AK]

Originally Posted by bradfordchow

The_AK: Ok, good advice bro!! I need to somehow transition into moving down towards the southern hemisphere. It's not like I can autmatically dive right down to her goodies without it being like "No he didn't do just that". I'm not worried about not being able to pleasure her with my fingers. More emphasis should be placed on the pace of things. This is love not how fast I can pull of a quicky.

there were some good suggestions here,
one that would work is you guys are watching a movie together and you cuddle. In the middle of the movie just randomly kiss her and see how she reacts. If shes not disgusted and responds positively you proceed on.

Now what you do is up to you. You started a game and were just dealt some cards. Its up to you how you play them.
Your options are:
a) continue watching your movie
b) kiss her again
c) kiss her again and use your hands. You start with placing them on her hips and slowly rubbing them to give her that sense of "oh this is kinda sexy" and in your mind you are thinking "Yes, this is sexy". You progress with more kissing (no, not the lame ass quick kiss but actually getting involved with your tongue and whatnot) so there is some sort of passion between you two. She is there in your arms giving herself away to you. Take it, its yours. Proceed on with rubbing and what you do with your hands is up to you. I'd can get pretty nasty here but I'm afraid that there may be children reading this.
d) drop your pants asap and put it in her butt

Two of those options will lead you to sexual intercourse.
go get err

[The_AK]

Originally Posted by BoneThug

fyi, it sucks and is really unsatisfying if its a really wrong person. if you suck not only may she never put out again, but she may be turned off of sex for years to come. just thought id be a nice guy and throw that otu there. kthxsbye

I wouldnt so much say "wrong" person. I think whats more accurate is a person where the both of you have developed strong feelings towards each other

[BoneThug]

Originally Posted by The_AK

I wouldnt so much say "wrong" person. I think whats more accurate is a person where the both of you have developed strong feelings towards each other

you dont really have to have feelings for each other to have good sex though. it def helps and I prefer it but you can just have nice stringless sex too. its just sometimes its really bad. not even cause neither of you are skilled but more cause there is just no physical chemistry. when i wanna be in control, she wont be still. when i wanna switch positions she wants to be stationary and its just annoying and not fun and "makes me wish id never met her at alllllll ( no music emoticon ftl)

[poweredbyph]

Wait a minute here.... Bradford, you said you guys kissed.. Did you acutally just kissed or actually made out with her? Also, I think sex is a little too fast for you. Based on your original post, you two haven't touched each other in that "special way". Am I correct?

You two have to play with each other before going to another level (ie. sex). Try the touching part first... then oral, then sex.. and don't do all those right away.

[underscore]

you kinda misunderstood me I think, don't set goals pertaining to how far you want to takes things in a night, this isn't about getting your paladin to lvl 70 here, this is about pleasuring your woman and you can't schedule things on your own here. just take things slow and progress through the different stages, if she stops you from progressing at any point back off. if you're getting good vibes maybe try again once more, but that's it. no means no afterall.

I also wouldn't go with renting a hotel room for the first time unless she's hinted at it or something, otherwise you could put a lot of pressure on her which isn't good.

the reasoning behind getting experience in the nether region prior to having sex is so that you know where the pressure points are and the angles to hit them, if you've had a couple fingers in there you can get a feel for the kind of rythem, speed, pressure, etc she likes, same thing with oral. you'll want to do this before sex anyways to make sure she's nice and warmed up

[Dinan3]

Originally Posted by bradfordchow

Dinan3: Don't want to get into a war of words with you but don't you think that your comment was somewhat smug? How do you even know I'll get to have sex again that night? Is it a foregone conclusion? Plus, everythings always better the first time around.

All I'm trying to say is, no one can predict how you're going to perform, not even yourself. You just have to go for it without thinking too much. The harder you try, the worse it'll be. Just relax and do it when the moment is right.

The only thing you need to prepare for is having the box of condoms ready.

Cheers.

[bradfordchow]

What is up? a Merry Xmas to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excuse me for turning this rant into my personal little blog. I'm just thoroughly disappointed at myself and there's nothing I can do or say to excuse my mishaps or blunders. I'll make this short and not-so-sweet..

I took the girlfriend ice-skating which was spectacular to say the least. I couldn't tell you the number of times we fell on our butts but it was more than our soft tushies cared to cushion for. If I could make my first time doing "you know what" half as fun and exciting as our dates, then I wouldn't need to be stressing and putting myself through all of this mind numbing torture like final exams.
Gahhhh Why can't things turn out like fairy tales where everything works out and everyone lives happily ever after??

From there, we stopped for some Vietnamese pho and anyone who's ever eaten those noodles know how PHO'nomenally tasty it is to eat.
Whats a night out without your obligatory bubble tea for 2. So, we grabbed some bubble teas and off we were back to my place as the night was still young Me being the furthest thing from a music connoisseur led me to the RS's "What song is playing on your speakers now" thread. Downloaded a little Coldplay, DJ Tiesto and some T-pain and pumped some tunes. Basically just hanging out and killing some time not to mention staying warm and cozy.

By now we're both on the couch side by side watching "My Sassy Girl (Korean Ver.) My mind was like the Formula Grand Prix just thoughts zooming left and right. Honest to God I was trying to remember the advice given to me from RS'ers about not over-thinking (oh the irony) every little detail. Lets set the record straight here, I wasn't being liberated or inaugurated as the first African American President, no...
I was doing everything short of what an Alpha Male would have done in my situation. Case in point, just screwing things up one move after another like some dunder head. All was well until I went for the shirt. Made sure to massage her then swiftly and seductively ramp up the "kino escalation" by sitting behind her like that famous pottery scene in the movie "ghost". In that position I played with her stomache and bellybutton. I even went so far as to get a few inadvertent boob touches along the way. But in the end I could definitely sense her apprehension and I didn't want to push too far and risk it. The good thing in all of this was the fact I didn't let this phase me one bit. We watched the movie together and cuddled then called it a night. On the other hand it kinda sucks because I had the condoms out ready to wrap up my jimmy. All is well since it gives me more time to prepare and get up to speed with sexual techniques. I realize this is an unexpected setback but its not deterring me one iota cause my will is strong.

I have a question for those thinkers with bright philosophical minds..
Would it be considered cheating to go to an escort? Not that I'm gonna go or anything. Obviously I wouldn't tell my gfd about it either if I went. Mind you, this is all hypothetical.

Lates

[Mud Hen]

how old are you? you seem to be over thinking this... next time you should skip watching the korean female domination/romantic comedy, take her to the garage, blindfold her and tie her up, then do what ever comes to your mind.

[Inaii]

Yes it's cheating. If it's not with her, it's cheating and you should slap yourself for even thinking of it.

[rslater]

Jesus christ...is this shit fake?

[BlackV62K2]

Originally Posted by bradfordchow

I even went so far as to get a few inadvertent boob touches along the way.

F#ck sakes.....how old are you? Whatever you're doing, you're not getting the point across to her that you want to have sex. You need to work on your game to escalate to that point first.

[BoneThug]

honestly. next time you are on the couch with her put your arm aroudn her. this is you saying, go to the bathroom and clean whatever you need to clean, and call whoever you have to call because sexy time starts in 5. when she gets back, resume position. grab her head and tilt it towards you. start making out. it doesnt have to be hard or difficult or even look good. just do it. then its done

[muteki]

Yes Brad, it's cheating...
What if your GF went and got a guy-escort. Would you consider that cheating or is it okay with you?
Anyways... Why don't you just talk to her about it if you're so paranoid?
If she's sending you all the right signals then make your move.
I'm sure you can tell what she wants from her actions or words. Haha, good luck!

Originally Posted by rslater

Jesus christ...is this shit fake?

I question that everything I read an update. =D

[The_AK]

oh,
and play this for her

[youtube=tGVnH39UzI8]lol[/youtube]

[boss_clad]

ah, to be 16 again...


my first time, i suggested we made out in our underwear, then one thing led to another, it was beautiful haha

[Culture_Vulture]

^suggested eh?
I don't know, I never suggested those kinds of things--and one thing still led to another lol

[Noir]

Its cheating but its not wrong. I would actually suggest you do it and get this sex thing finally over with. Maybe finally realize sex isnt as big of a deal as youre making it out to be.

This is one of those situations where the right thing to do isnt always right, and the wrong thing to do isnt always wrong.

Say you keep yourself pure. Youre 21 and seriously obviously need it bad. To push sex on a girl from a guy who doesnt know what hes doing could seriously ruin sex for her for life, as well as handicap her from her future relationships. Think about it. Sometimes whats right is wrong, and whats wrong is right.

I honestly think you seem a bit sheltered and naive which I think is your primary hurdle to getting some. Seriously, be bad, do something wrong, be unpure, be like the rest of us. Then maybe you get laid like the rest of us.

[iwantaskyline]

If its her first time as well, it aint gonna be pretty lol. This thread reminds me of high school.

[BoneThug]

its your first time. its like going into war.; you have to accept you are going to die. except in sex, you have to except its not going to be good. then just go do it.

[Grandmaster TSE]

getting an escort is considered cheating in my books
even worst that you're paying for it

honestly, just go for it, it doesn't matter if its bad or good
get the first time over with, and both of you won't have the anxiety or whatever you guys are feeling and just have fun.
isn't that what sex is all about besides reproduction, have fun with it bro
good luck

[dai3yuen]

IMO, if your casual brushes of her boobs were making her feel apprehensive, then you are quite a ways away from having sex with her.