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Relationship & Gender DiscussionTHIS SPACE OPEN FOR ADVERTISEMENT. YOU SHOULD BE ADVERTISING HERE! The thin line between love and hate
Mature discussion about understanding the opposite sex...
What hasn't Killed me, has made me more tolerant of RS!
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: vancouver
Posts: 152
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if it's early, id do abortion.
if it's late, i'd put up for adoption.
i sound like a dick, but my life simply isnt ready for that.. and i dont want to burden my other family and limit the rest of my life because of that mistake. i duno, i hope i dont have to face that problem... scares me everytime though
but all in all.. i vote for abortion..
dude.. lol .. i understand.. if u wanna man up go for it.. but i will tell you... two of my friends manned up.. and man are their lives fucked right now..
you got plenty of times to have a kid later..
if its a religious thing.. uhhh...thats kinda a grey area..
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If we are not able to ask skeptical questions, to interrogate those who tell us that something is true; to be skeptical of those in authority, then we're up for grabs..
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of course the guy won't be able to suffer more physically compared to a woman. the woman is the one that has to carry a baby for 9 months before popping him/her out of her vagina. on top of that, doctors have to cut a slit at the bottom of the vag so it won't tear while the baby is coming out. a woman's body will never really be the same after having a child with all that stretching and stress her body has to go through.
but if it's in regards to emotional pain, a man suffers equally as a woman when he has to give up a child. especially if the love is there, but being able to provide at that time isn't. yeah it's hard on a mom, but i can't even imagine the guilt a man has to go through when he isn't able to take care of his lover and child.
Agreed on the last sentence, though it's hard to see anyone i know own up to their kid to that extent. Then again i'm still young, and i'm not going to say it won't happen.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noir
If you're talking about suffering due to abortion-enduced depression, the same can be said about pre-mature motherhood. Do you think starting a family when it is beyond ones means to do so is still like the picturesque family you always see on TV?
Our society has the means to promote family planning. We can curb the phenomenon of teen pregancy or pre-mature parenthood. We would do well to use it, not ignore it.
Starting a family at any point in time, no matter how financially stable or knowledgeable you are is not going to prepare you for parenthood. True knowledge comes from personal experience. Also picturesque families only exist in art and fiction.
Anyways, regardless of who has the shorter end of the stick. Neither one can experience the turmoils of the other (unless you happen to be lesbians i would think). So in a weird sense the struggles are equally as hard. One of the many reasons why it takes 2 to make a baby and bring them up
PS: if i don't make much sense, it's cause my brain isn't functioning properly at this time @__@
^ Unless the lesbians were identical twins using two pairs of genetically identical sperm and eggs, and were conceived at the same time, I would not make such assumptions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kanachan
Starting a family at any point in time, no matter how financially stable or knowledgeable you are is not going to prepare you for parenthood. True knowledge comes from personal experience. Also picturesque families only exist in art and fiction.
The one difference between a broke couple and a rich couple keeping an unexpected pregnancy is that the rich couple have the resources to raise the child well and provide for it. In that sense, the rich couple is already much more prepared to raise that child than the broke couple.
However, it's true that financial stability isn't the only factor in raising a child. The love and commitment to raise that child well is the most important and decisive factor.
I would of course have it. If I'm not prepared to potentially have a baby I'd still be a virgin. If I wasn't ready, I'd get ready. If I wasn't mature enough, I'd grow up real quick. If I didn't have the finances I'd lean on the father, my parents, his parents.
Abortion would never be an option if it isn't a rape baby it's my baby. Even if it was a rape baby it's still my baby so even then abortion isn't a sure thing. Adoption wouldn't even cross my mind. I'd never consider giving away my own life and blood because I was a young stupid careless person who made a "mistake".
Own up to your mistake. If you're not ready, get ready. I'd wouldn't sleep with a man who isn't responsible enough to step up in the event of a pregnancy.
__________________
As Gordon Ramsey says: "Fuck me."
For serious, abortion has it's risks. Her parents are going to know either way. Giving the baby up for adoption is probably the best way but also, if her parents are supportive, you could probably get by actually raising the baby. It'll be tough but hey, you have to deal with the consequences of your mistakes.
All options are viable. At 22, I'd probably say "...so what are you going to do?" Chris Rock has taught me well.
I would of course have it. If I'm not prepared to potentially have a baby I'd still be a virgin. If I wasn't ready, I'd get ready. If I wasn't mature enough, I'd grow up real quick. If I didn't have the finances I'd lean on the father, my parents, his parents.
Abortion would never be an option if it isn't a rape baby it's my baby. Even if it was a rape baby it's still my baby so even then abortion isn't a sure thing. Adoption wouldn't even cross my mind. I'd never consider giving away my own life and blood because I was a young stupid careless person who made a "mistake".
Own up to your mistake. If you're not ready, get ready. I'd wouldn't sleep with a man who isn't responsible enough to step up in the event of a pregnancy.
So many refutable points. It's a manner of perspective so here's the other side of the coin.
1. Sentiment is old and outdated. Sex is not a means of pro-creation and is now a means of leisure. Sex is also a natural phenomenon. Therefore, you can't deny sex to teenage couples or couples who aren't ready for a family just because they don't have the means to deal with the consequences.
2. Owning up to your responsibility does not mean relying on your parents or gov't hand outs. That's just passing responsibility from one area to another. That being said, are you implying that a young couple with minimum wage jobs should abstain from sex until they each hit the $40,000 gross annual income plateau? (Although its ideal, I doubt anyone would really comply with this.)
3. Unplanned pregnancies is not always the result of: Young, Stupid & Careless. Unplanned pregnancies still occur with responsible sexual practices.
4. Young, Stupid & Careless happens, unless you're a perfect person living a perfect life. Luckily, our society has now progressed to have the ability to correct mistakes. In a sense, abortion can also be considered as a form of "Owning up to your mistakes" by correcting the problem.
I would of course have it. If I'm not prepared to potentially have a baby I'd still be a virgin. If I wasn't ready, I'd get ready. If I wasn't mature enough, I'd grow up real quick. If I didn't have the finances I'd lean on the father, my parents, his parents.
Abortion would never be an option if it isn't a rape baby it's my baby. Even if it was a rape baby it's still my baby so even then abortion isn't a sure thing. Adoption wouldn't even cross my mind. I'd never consider giving away my own life and blood because I was a young stupid careless person who made a "mistake".
Own up to your mistake. If you're not ready, get ready. I'd wouldn't sleep with a man who isn't responsible enough to step up in the event of a pregnancy.
To begin with:
Quote:
Originally Posted by vmec
If I'm not prepared to potentially have a baby I'd still be a virgin. If I wasn't ready, I'd get ready.
What the fuck? You're saying that since you're not a virgin, you're prepared to potentially have a baby. Then you say, if you weren't ready then you'd get ready. But you wouldn't even have sex if you weren't ready, you said! What makes you think that with this attitude you'd be capable of having a child?
Warning! Wall of text rant in spoiler.
Spoiler!
First of all, it's not about just YOU. It's not only your own life and blood. It's not only your own mistake. It takes two to tango, and only two.
You're saying you accept the chances of an unexpected pregnancy and that you'd take responsibility should it occur. But what about the father? Would he be so willing to be forced into parenthood? Would the father take responsibility like a man, or would he only do so out of obligation? Would you want your child to have a father who treats him as a burden, as a mistake that ruined his life? Would you risk having a deadbeat father for your child?
You say things like you'd take responsibility should it occur, and that you'd never sleep with a man who won't also step up. Then you go around and say things like you'd lean on your parents, the man you slept with AND his parents for financial support. How's that for selfish? A mistake the two of you made, but you're going to expect your and his parents to pay for it? That's not taking responsibility! That's dragging innocent parties into your own personal problems! I'd give the parents credit for taking care of their child because that's just parental instinct, but what a selfish and egotistical child to expect/demand them to pay for your mistakes!
What I'm getting at is that it's not only your feelings, your money, your blood, your pride, your life at stake. Just from what you've said so far you've already decided to drag in up to four innocent people to take responsibility for the actions of two. What about the child? The child that you will so forcefully bring to life? What happens if one or both of you parents choose to but fail to step up? What if you don't grow up and care for it the way you said you would?
I mean, you haven't even begun to think about how the child would be raised after it's born! All you've said is that you'd grow up if it happens, and even that's questionable! Meaning you haven't grown up yet. And after reading what you've just said I think you've definitely got a lot of growing up to do before you can hope to raise a child.
It really depends on your maturity level and what you are willing to sacrifice, what you are capable or incapable of providing for the child. If you don't even have the financial means or the necessary help from family, then bringing the child into the world to suffer would be more cruel than abortion.
The other half and I have had this discussion too and we'd keep it. The most important aspect being we know as pissed and disappointed as our parents would be, neither side would kick us out and truly would help us when it came down to it. We know I would be well taken care of throughout the process and the help would be there when the kid finally comes..aka we'd at least have a roof over our heads. And with living at home, even if only one of us had income, we'd still make it in terms of providing the necessities to the kid.
What hasn't Killed me, has made me more tolerant of RS!
Join Date: Feb 2005
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Min, I've read the spoiler and I've seen a fair share of deadbeat dads. Most unexpected moms that I personally know of are pretty much screwed for life. They can barely provide themselves and support their kid, and always trying to find a guy who is willing to provide her with financial stability who she may or may not really love him.
It is kind of sad really.. they think they are living in a fantasy world where everything will just work out but honestly, we just have a lot of retarded people out there who don't think about the consequences of their actions. The funny thing is that most of these moms do not want their kids to make the same mistakes they did so they will be eventually forced to grow up....
1. Sentiment is old and outdated. Sex is not a means of pro-creation and is now a means of leisure. Sex is also a natural phenomenon. Therefore, you can't deny sex to teenage couples or couples who aren't ready for a family just because they don't have the means to deal with the consequences. I know this. Though I'm not ready to have a baby if I got pregnant I am prepared to have it, and raise it. I would be prepared to have a baby if it so happens though ideally no, I'm not ready.
2. Owning up to your responsibility does not mean relying on your parents or gov't hand outs. That's just passing responsibility from one area to another. That being said, are you implying that a young couple with minimum wage jobs should abstain from sex until they each hit the $40,000 gross annual income plateau? You do not need 40k a year to raise a baby. If you're making minimum wage, get a better job or work full-time, there's tons of resources. That's all part of "getting ready". So not I'm not implying and such thing that kids should refrain from sex, just be prepared about the "what if's".
There are many planned pregnancies where the parents (old and mature) rely on gov't and parents to help with money and or childcare. Turning to for help is not relying.
3. Unplanned pregnancies is not always the result of: Young, Stupid & Careless. Unplanned pregnancies still occur with responsible sexual practices. I know this. Which is why I think kids who are 14 shouldn't be having sex. I don't think one should be having sex until you're 18-ish and at that age one should be able to step up to the plate in the event something like this happens.
4. Young, Stupid & Careless happens, unless you're a perfect person living a perfect life. Luckily, our society has now progressed to have the ability to correct mistakes. In a sense, abortion can also be considered as a form of "Owning up to your mistakes" by correcting the problem. Whatever you believe buddy, but in the end it's not your choice; but you know this.
To begin with:
What the fuck? You're saying that since you're not a virgin, you're prepared to potentially have a baby. Then you say, if you weren't ready then you'd get ready. But you wouldn't even have sex if you weren't ready, you said! I'm not ready but I'm prepared to deal with a baby should the situation arise. Get it? No? Whatever.
You're saying you accept the chances of an unexpected pregnancy and that you'd take responsibility should it occur. But what about the father? Would he be so willing to be forced into parenthood? Would the father take responsibility like a man, or would he only do so out of obligation? Would you want your child to have a father who treats him as a burden, as a mistake that ruined his life? Would you risk having a deadbeat father for your child? I know how my man/ past boyfriends have felt about potential children. And perhaps you'd feel like this but there are others who would feel this is a blessing albeit, unplanned but a blessing nonetheless.
You say things like you'd take responsibility should it occur, and that you'd never sleep with a man who won't also step up. Then you go around and say things like you'd lean on your parents, the man you slept with AND his parents for financial support. How's that for selfish? A mistake the two of you made, but you're going to expect your and his parents to pay for it? That's not taking responsibility! That's dragging innocent parties into your own personal problems! I'd give the parents credit for taking care of their child because that's just parental instinct, but what a selfish and egotistical child to expect/demand them to pay for your mistakes! You're acting as if I wouldn't be in the picture at all! You'd be wrong. Because I /we might need a little help with childcare? Because I/ we might get a mutal fund in the babies name? Come on. You're acting like I'd wouldn't even be there. Give me a break, needing/ requiring a little help is not disregarding my responsibiltity. There are plently of married, mature and stable couples who recieve help from parents.
What I'm getting at is that it's not only your feelings, your money, your blood, your pride, your life at stake. J up to four innocent people to take responsibility for the actions of two. What about the child? The child that you will so forcefully bring to life? What happens if one or both of you parents choose to but fail to step up? from what you've said so far you've already decided to drag inif you don't grow up and care for it the way you said you would? These "what ifs" you're posing are not just for me, these what ifs should be posed to every single woman who is having a child. What if her husband leaves her becasue he thinks he's not ready. What if her parents don't believe in grandchildren. What if I'm still not a good mother married at 30?
I mean, you haven't even begun to think about how the child would be raised after it's born! All you've said is that you'd grow up if it happens, and even that's questionable! Meaning you haven't grown up yet. And after reading what you've just said I think you've definitely got a lot of growing up to do before you can hope to raise a child. You're talking about me as if you know exactly what kind of situation I'm in but, really you haven't a clue! You don't know what I do, my living situations, my money, etc you have no idea. And were you seriously expecting me to outline everything I'd do to get prepared to have a child?
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As Gordon Ramsey says: "Fuck me."
3. Unplanned pregnancies is not always the result of: Young, Stupid & Careless. Unplanned pregnancies still occur with responsible sexual practices.
I know this. Which is why I think kids who are 14 shouldn't be having sex. I don't think one should be having sex until you're 18-ish and at that age one should be able to step up to the plate in the event something like this happens.
i find it hard to believe an 18 year old would be able to handle a baby any better vs a 14 y/o. doable, but not any easier.
but on a differentish note, i wish schools would push more education on sex. sex is a great, but there are a lot of people who seriously do not know anything about sex (search up preggo questions on google) nor are they fully aware of the consequences.
yeah there are ways to fix "problems" such as abortions/morning afterpill but after awhile those "solutions" turn into everyday necessities for some people. which isn't what they were made for. they were made for EMERGENCIES. not because some guy didn't have a condom and wanted it bad, etc etc.
__________________ tiptronic: getting cut off by bicycles since 2007
Last edited by miss_crayon; 01-16-2009 at 01:47 PM.
i find it hard to believe an 18 year old would be able to handle a baby any better vs a 14 y/o. REALLY? I know at 18 I was far from being ready to become a mother, but I know without a doubt I was more responsible any to take responsibility for an unplanned baby than I ever was at 14.
but on a differentish note, i wish schools would push more education on sex. sex is a great, but there are a lot of people who seriously do not know anything about sex (search up preggo questions on google) nor are they fully aware of the consequences. I don't even have to go to google, stay here there's plently of idiots that advise against the use of a condom. It kills the feeling, so fucking what- you want AIDS? (perhaps that's a bit of an exaggeration, but entirely possible) And far to many girls think they'll gain 10 pounds if you go on the pill. Talk to a god damn doctor.
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message added above.
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As Gordon Ramsey says: "Fuck me."
__________________ RB26DETT - Inline-6 Twin-Turbo Chargedkazitorii tuned JUN/NISMO/GReddy built motor cars ltd.
{{Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive but what they conceal is vital }}
If we are not able to ask skeptical questions, to interrogate those who tell us that something is true; to be skeptical of those in authority, then we're up for grabs..
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okay, seriously enough with falcon punches, clothes hangers, pushing down the stairs and things like that. I will start giving points if I continue seeing this; consider this the warning
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tiptronic: getting cut off by bicycles since 2007
